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Darius Stone, a new agent in the XXX program, is sent to Washington, DC to defuse a power struggle amongst national leaders.
Darius Stone: Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal. Agent Augustus Gibbons: I like that. Who said it? Jefferson? Patton? Darius Stone: Tupac.
[Darius and Lola watch the president gives a speech on TV. The president quotes "Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal"] Lola Jackson: Did the President just quote Tupac?
Uptight Businessman: You got any advice for us? Darius Stone: Well, Dick, perhaps you could tell your members to stop buyin' country music, stop burnin' crosses, and stop shootin' black folks. Hear me? Now, if that don't work, try a cookout with free food. Preferably fried.
[Deckert quotes Jefferson to justify his actions the President] Gen. George Octavius Deckert: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots." President James Sanford: "... and tyrants." *That's* the *end* of the quote.
Maurice: I'm not goin' out without a fight. Webster: He's retarded! Maurice: Key's in the truck. Move the level, 'cause the brakes get stuck. Agent Toby Lee Shavers: Hi, I'm Agent Shavers. We'll be commandeering your truck today. Webster: Man, we can't let anybody know a white guy hijacked us. Maurice: We'll say it was 75 black guys.
Maurice: What the hell does the Department of Homeland Defense want with a truck full of cheese anyway? Webster: You ain't never heard of government cheese?
[Zeke and Darius are inspecting a truck full of weapons they've just commandeered] Zeke: What you think D? This enough bang for you? Darius Stone: [Picks up an M249 SAW] God bless America.
Zeke: [repeated] If its got wheels, we can jack it.
[the President punches Cobb, but is quickly restrained] Gen. George Octavius Deckert: Feels good, doesn't it? To get your hands dirty? President James Sanford: Fuck you.
[after he kills Charlie] Agent Augustus Gibbons: See? I told you you should've killed that bitch.
Darius Stone: How's the jaw, General? Gen. George Octavius Deckert: I think of you every time I chew steak! Darius Stone: And I thought of you every night I spent in prison!
Toby Lee Shavers: You want me to hack in? Into The U.S. Department of Defense? We're talking 500 acres of hardware. Cray supercomputers, encryption chips, not to mention more firewalls than the NSA, CIA and the IRS combined. Darius Stone: Exactly. [hands his bag of chips to Lola] Toby Lee Shavers: Hold my chips.
Darius Stone: The fate of the free world in the hands of a bunch of hustlers and thieves. Agent Kyle Steele: Why should tonight be any different?
Darius Stone: Welcome to the first tank-jackin' in history.
Darius Stone: [to Toby] We need firepower. Do you have anything that shoots bullets?
Darius Stone: [Darius is waiting for Toby to hack into the Dept. of Defense at Lola's car shop. Lola is waiting with them] You know, you don't have to wait up. Lola Jackson: You think I'd leave you alone with my car?
Darius Stone: [Darius is speaking to Lola, a car shop owner and his ex-girlfriend, about the need for a new truck] Besides, if we're gonna roll, we're gonna need something with a little more muscle. Somethin' nasty. Lola Jackson: [smirks] I can do nasty. Darius Stone: [smiles at Lola] I know you can.
[last lines] Agent Kyle Steele: I've got some ideas for the next XXX. Toby Lee Shavers: Now, wait a minute, it's my turn to pick! Agent Augustus Gibbons: I do the picking. We're going further off the grid. Fresh face, new look. I've got the perfect candidate.
[Darius tries to persuade Zeke to help him and Gibbons to rescue the president] Darius Stone: Don't do it for the red, white and blue! Do it for yourself! Do it for the right to hack and jack outside the White House!
[to Gibbons] Gen. George Octavius Deckert: I don't know what's more pathetic - a man that plays chess with himself, or a man that doesn't see he's already lost.
Darius Stone: [to college boy] Pay the man!
Gen. George Octavius Deckert: He's only one man. What can one man do?
Darius Stone: [after Charlie tells him she will give him "anything" he wants] The things I can't do for my country.