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When Holly's father is transferred to Japan, she is sent to live with Valerie, her big sister, in New York City, and turns Valerie's life upside-down.
[repeated line] Gary: Oh my Damn!
Val: Son of a bitch fireman.
Tina Haven: You can kiss in a dream and it doesn't mean anything. You can have sex in a dream and it doesn't mean anything. You know, you can have sex in real life and it still wouldn't mean anything. Remember that for the future.
Tina Haven: [Holly and Vince are making out outside] C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Holly: What? Tina Haven: There's going to be a chick fight! Holly: Just wait [turns to Vince] Holly: Love you. Bye.
Vince: well... does his stuff cost more than... free? Gary: Dude, don't worry about it. I set him up last week with two "Young and Tenders". Man, he owes me, just to say that. Vince: Thanks, bro. Hey dude, I have a question. Gary: Mmm-Hmmm. Vince: What are "Young Antenneas"? Gary: No, "Young and Tenders" Young and Tenders. The hell is a "Young Antenneas" Why would I say "Young Antenneas?" Crazy white boy. I don't get it.
Holly: If anything goes wrong... blame the red-headed kid Val: Why? Holly: Look at him, he's guilty of something
Tina Haven: Sometimes friends do really stupid things. Holly: Especially if they're bummed because they just got broken up with and are vulnerable, and not thinking straight, and are maybe just a little bit slutty. Tina Haven: Oh you know me so well. [hug] Val: What about me? Holly: [hugs Val] Oh, you're slutty too.
Val: What the hell is that? Lauren: Something old, something new, something borrowed, something eww!
Lauren: I wrote the note! Val: Rick didn't write the note? Lauren: Ok. How many times do I have to say it? Rick didn't leave his wife. I wrote the note saying that he did. Val: You wrote the note? Lauren: Are you a blockhead? I wrote the note! Rick didn't leave his wife and I'm seeing him later. Val: You're what? Lauren: I'm seeing him later! Do you think it's you hearing, maybe?
Holly: Yes! Hi. That's my skateboard, and... Kid: No, it isn't. I found it on my balcony. Holly: Yeah. Because I dropped it off the roof. Where do you think it came from? Kid: God.
Holly: What? Val: Your shirt. Holly: What about it? Val: You need one! Holly: It's the style, it's supposed to be this way Val: How about you start a new trend. Throw a big sweater over that and call it the 'I'm not naked' look!
Gary: Hey man. I thought you said holly already sewed that on for you. Vince: She did. But she's in a hurry to make out all the time. Her workmanship suffers!
Holly: I had a fight with Ben! Vince: Dump him. Holly: What? Vince: I said go make up with him, what did you hear? GOD!
[after Holly and Val have given her their old bear] Josy: He smells funny... I'm gonna name him Stinky Bear!
Val: And you're still making time with him? Lauren: Making time? Yeah, see, yeah doll, we went to see the Andrews Sisters and we made some time!
Vic: So, Val, I want to ask you in front of all the people that you love... and Tina. Val, will you already be married to me?
Gary: [Gary is on crutches] My work here is done. Val: Actually you still have to mop the floors. Gary: I'm crippled you're cruel.
Tina Haven: [Lauren holds up a pinata shaped like a rocket ship] Oh. Let's get Val this one. You know what it looks like? Holly: It's a rocket ship you dirty bird.
Val: You are beautiful, and charming, and funny Lauren: And...? Val: Thin.
Val: Hey don't you have to go take a shower pushy biotch? Holly: Yes and I need money for school books, wussy biotch.
Lauren: Unless you want to disappoint your sister on her birthday. She did raise you.
Val: [practices her expression in front of a mirror just because she thinks she's getting set up for a surprise party] A sonic plaque remover and a white jean jacket? Guys, I'm gonna cry. Yeah, that'll work.
Holly: Who am I kidding? My dad's gonna love you. Even if your pants have holes and... cheese? Vince: Crap! I'm wearing my cheese pants!
Lauren: Uh oh! Me thinks me went too far.
Vince: Pretty moving stuff. Gary: Yeah, makes you think. Vince, Gary: [both turn to each other] I'm sorry! [hugs each other]
Holly: Went to college party, didn't drink, got stuck with a guy in the bathroom, nothing happened, Gary's pants, night. Val: Hold on. College party? Holly: Didn't drink. Val: Guy in bathroom? Holly: Nothing happened. Val: Who's pants? Holly: Gary's. Val: We'll talk more in the morning.
[after Val just kissed a guy Holly liked] Holly: You don't understand I'm devastated! Val: I know and yes I understand... Holly: Devastated!
Vince: Well isn't that nice of Gary, helping my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. What a good guy! [punches Gary]
Val: [She see's Lauren crying on the bed and points at her] Wah! Wah! Wah! [laughing]
Lauren: I'm in love with him. Val: Yeah, well you have to get out of love with him, woman.
Holly: [Vince kisses her on the cheek] Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! That's it? I sew a botton on for you and that's all I get? Make out with me damn it!
Holly: Why are you doing this? I don't go to Chucky Cheese and ruin your dates!
Lauren: [everyone else is hugging around her] Come here you! [grabs the cake and starts eating it]
Lauren: Is she still mad? Holly: No. Val: GET OUT OF HERE! Holly: Oh, I meant "yes".
Holly: [Gary's talking to Vince and Tina] Hey! Hey! Hey! Vic has something to give to Val. SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH! [turns to Vic] Holly: Go ahead Vic
Holly: What happened to my overprotective, in-my-face sister who wouldn't let me play Ms. Pac-Man because she thought that she made "bad choices"?
Gary: What did you eat? Holly: I think it must have been the soup Gary: Was it cream of IBop? Holly: Alright, yes, it came, I love it and it's mine! Gary: But you said I could have it Holly: Well that was before I fell in love with it, and I love it Gary. I love it like a little tiny child!
Gary: Either you've got a lobster problem or that's one freaky cockroach
Gary: You know what? Your hair is so "Footloose"! Vince: You did not just drag Kevin Bacon into this! Gary: Yes I did, buddy. And the gloves are coming off my friend. Vince: Oh, so is the ugly-ass suit. Gary: Well, you may wanna reconsider! Being that it matches your ugly ass!
Val: Me never wants to "we" with you again!
Val: We don't have to resort to using our bodies to get ahead Lauren: Wake up Bambi! This is how things work in the forest. Val: Not in my forest... and don't make that dirty.
Holly: There is no surprise party. That liar is totally going to be with rick. Tina Haven: Okay, Lauren is a genius! She turns the whole thing around and pulls a surprise party right out of her ass. Holly: If only she could pull morals out of her ass!
Gary: [talking about Holly] Wow, how could a little girl be full of crap?
Gary: I never told anyone that you wrote a fan letter to Celine Dion! Vince: [shouts] Hey, Celine Dion is excellent and you told everyone!
Ben Sheffield: [Val just found a jewelry box in a cookie jar] No! No! No! No! Sorry but i wouldn't want to miss the look on my fiance's face the first time she saw the ring. Val: Ben's right. Lauren: Yeah, Ben's foriegn. Open that mother!
Todd: Okay, I think my work here is done. Val: Oh thank god. Todd: You can call me Todd. Val: Eww.
[after chasing Holly into the mens room] Val: Oh, this is so not the place for open-toed shoes
Vic: Hey Charlie. Charlie: Why doesn't Val love me? I mean, okay, I'm not her brother. But I have other things to offer. Children with one head. Vic: [phone rings] Oh wait. Hold your pain.
Holly: Tina, hug me! Tina Haven: I'm not really a "huggy" person. Holly: You've hugged me before! Tina Haven: Now it feels forced. Holly: JUST HUG ME! [Holly places Tina's hands around her and they both hug]
Holly: What do you think Lauren needed the afternoon for? Tina Haven: Do you think? Holly: That's exactly what I'm thinking. Tina Haven: Lauren's the dirty bird.
Lauren: I've been watching you from across the street. I've been too shy to come in and talk to you face-to-face so I could only write my feelings. Oh, Lauren, how your glissening thighs and firm buttocks make me quiver. Gary: [Val gives Gary a look. Gary pulls her over to the side] I thought your letter need a little embellishment. Lauren: Ahem. Your bosoms are like two ripe canteloupes, Lauren, ready to be devoured. Oh, my God! I think I found my soulmate!
Lauren: Oh no. They've gone behind the paper thin curtain of silence.
Holly: No, just you telling the Son of a Bitch fireman that he was "hot, hot, hot".
Tina Haven: [clapping] Oh! Oh! There she is! There she is! Lauren: Ok, we are going have to get a surprise party by tonight. Tina Haven: Yes, yes. Here is some money. God, I just love you! Holly: Tina, Shut Up! We are not helping her. I'm telling Val. Lauren: No, no, no wait. Holly, do you think I really want to be seeing a married man? No!. Holly: Then stop it!
Holly: I have to call Val. I mean this is big and I'm only nineteen!
Holly: What's more important than doing it in front of everyone she loves... and Tina.
Holly: You promised me that you weren't going to see him. Lauren: No I promised you that I wasn't going to see him tonight. Tina Haven: And is it tonight? No. It's today. Brava. [starts clapping]
Val: What about this one? 'The Bazooka'. Tell me about 'The Bazooka'! Holly: Excellent choice! I used that once in 9th Grade on Lisa Gurt. They say on quiet days you can still hear her crying!
Gary: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen? Vince: I don't think that's three names - or legal. Gary: Not for another 248 days.