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A robot malfunction creates havoc and terror for unsuspecting vacationers at a futuristic, adult-themed amusement park.
Robot Gunslinger: Draw.
Robot Gunslinger: [to Peter Martin, trying to provoke a fight] Sloppy with your drink? [Martin tries to ignore him, unsure of how to react] Robot Gunslinger: [to the bartender] Get this boy a bib!
John Blane: [surprised] I'm shot Peter Martin: [in disbelief] What? John Blane: I... I'm shot! [falls to the ground]
Chief Supervisor: Shut down! Shut down immediately!
[last lines] Interviewer of Delos Guests: [voiceover] Why don't you make arrangements to take our hovercraft to Medieval World, Roman World and Westworld. Contact us today, or see your travel agent. Boy, have we got a vacation for you.
John Blane: There's no way to get hurt in here, just enjoy yourself.
Chief Supervisor: We aren't dealing with ordinary machines here. These are highly complicated pieces of equipment. Almost as complicated as living organisms. In some cases, they have been designed by other computers. We don't know exactly how they work.
Black Knight: [as the guest picks up a piece of leftovers from one of the banquet hall tables] Hold varlet! Medieval Knight: Are you speaking to me? Black Knight: None other, sire. Medieval Knight: Look, I'm hungry and I... Black Knight: [impatiently swiping the guest's helmet off the table with his broadsword, then pointing the sword menacingly at the guest] Prepare for thy doom, thou scurrilous knave, huh? Medieval Knight: [backing up] Now, wait a minute. Ah, uh, can't we talk this over? Black Knight: What? Have you no spine, varlet? Medieval Knight: Well, I...
John Blane: [after Being Bitten By A Robotic Snake] The hell, god dammit, that's not supposed to happen!
Banker: [taking over as the new sheriff] Well, I'm the new law around here... Villager: [yells from crowd] Think you can handle things? Banker: You wanna try me? [he turns around to enter the sheriff's office, but struggles to get the door open]
[first lines] Interviewer of Delos Guests: [hosting a commercial] Hi. Ed Renfrew for Delos again. If there's anyone who doesn't know what Delos is, well, as we've always said: Delos is the vacation of the future, today. At Delos, you get your choice of the vacation you want. There's Medieval World, Roman World and, of course, Westworld. Let's talk to some of the people who've been there.
Peter Martin: You talk too much. Robot Gunslinger: You say something, boy? Peter Martin: I said you talk too much. Robot Gunslinger: Why don't you make me shut up?
Chief Supervisor: Doesn't anything work around here?
Arrivals Announcer: Welcome to Delos. Please go to your color-coded tram which will take you to the World of your choice. We are sure you will enjoy your stay in Western World. While you are there, please do whatever you want. There are no rules. And you should feel free to indulge your every whim. Do not be afraid of hurting anything or of hurting yourself. Nothing can go wrong.
Miss Carrie: Well, you come to the right place. There's plenty of fun here. That's Cindy and Arlette. Arlette's from Paris. Perhaps you gentlemen are taking a liking to 'em? John Blane: Perhaps. Miss Carrie: They're real accommodating. John Blane: They eh, they look it. Miss Carrie: Why don't you just go on upstairs and we'll reckon accounts later. John Blane: Sounds good to me. Peter Martin: John, are those two girls machines? John Blane: Now, how can you say a thing like that. Come on.
Interviewer of Delos Guests: What is your name? Janet Lane: My name is Janet Lane and I was in Roman World. Interviewer of Delos Guests: What is the one thing that stands out in your mind about Roman World? Janet Lane: Oh, well, I think it would be - The Men! I just feel marvelous. I mean it's just a warm, glowing place to be.