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A US president who has retired after two terms in office returns to his hometown of Mooseport, Maine and decides to run for Mayor against another local candidate.
Sally Mannis: What does it matter what color my underwear are? Handy Harrison: It's an unconscious indicator of your subconscious intentions.
Handy Harrison: [Sound of flushing of a toilet at Monroe Cole's house; Handy Harrison emerges out of the bathroom in front of astounded ex-president] I'm all done in here. Handy Harrison: [Realizing that was double-entendre] I mean, I'm done fixing it. Handy Harrison: That flashing you heard - that's work-related, not personal.
Grace Sutherland: [after kissing Monroe] That was no handshake, you son of a bitch.
Handy Harrison: Hold on, I got you something. Sally Mannis: Dirt? Handy Harrison: [Takes the dirt from the ring] It's dirty but ... Sally Mannis: Oh. Handy Harrison: Look I dont know how you feel. [Sally kisses Handy] Handy Harrison: Is that a "Yes" kiss? Sally Mannis: Yes [Sally kisses Handy again] Handy Harrison: It's dirt now, but... It's really beautiful. Sally Mannis: It's beautiful. Handy Harrison: It's big and - Thats not just one diamond, theres diamonds on the side [Sally laughs. Handy places the ring on her finger] Handy Harrison: It's diamonds and mud. Oh did I say in the speech - ? I forgot the whole part about how much I love you. I didn't say it, but - Yes, I didn't - you know, theres no - I didn't make a word thing out of it, but you can't even measure it. It's like - like, if you take all the sun - You can take all the heat from the sun and you - If you put all of that heat into a love container, you ... Sally Mannis: [Grabs Handy's face and playfully slaps his cheek] Got it. Handy Harrison: You got it? Sally Mannis: Yes Handy Harrison: But you said yes anyway. So this is all extra. Like a bonus to it.
Sally Mannis: I am not stronger than you, I'm a girl. Handy Harrison: Exactly so it hurts both physically and emotionally.
Monroe Cole: [Monroe regarding a telephone talk with his embittered and greedy ex-wife who is demanding more of his fortune] Seven million! Grace Sutherland: It's a negotiation. Grace Sutherland: You've handled dictators. You've handled terrorists. Monroe Cole: Terrorists were easier, I swear to God!
Sally Mannis: Are you doing the plumbing for the whole town now? Handy Harrison: No I came to see you. Sally Mannis: Through the drain?