Top Secret! Quotes
Parody of WWII spy movies in which an American rock and roll singer becomes involved in a Resistance plot to rescue a scientist imprisoned in East Germany.
Nick Rivers: Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary Flammond: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]
Hillary Flammond: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
General Streck, German High Command: I'm afraid you leave me no alternative but to introduce you to two of my associates.
[a bald henchman comes forward]
General Streck, German High Command: Bruno is almost blind, has to operate wholly by touch.
[Cut to a blank-faced second man]
General Streck, German High Command: Klaus is a moron who knows only what he reads in the New York Post.
[Klaus is shown holding a copy of New York Post with the headline 'Maniac stalks Olivia Newton-John']
[a bald henchman comes forward]
General Streck, German High Command: Bruno is almost blind, has to operate wholly by touch.
[Cut to a blank-faced second man]
General Streck, German High Command: Klaus is a moron who knows only what he reads in the New York Post.
[Klaus is shown holding a copy of New York Post with the headline 'Maniac stalks Olivia Newton-John']
Latrine, Resistance Member: [throws dead carrier pigeon on table]
Latrine, Resistance Member: We have a traitor in our midst.
Deja Vu: Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him appropriately.
Du Quois: [looks at Deja Vu] Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on its way to the German Headquarters.
Latrine, Resistance Member: We have a traitor in our midst.
Deja Vu: Well done, Latrine. I see that you have taken care of him appropriately.
Du Quois: [looks at Deja Vu] Not the bird, you fool! This is a carrier pigeon on its way to the German Headquarters.
Nick Rivers: Are you in some kind of trouble with the police?
Hillary Flammond: Some things are much better left unsaid.
Nick Rivers: Like what?
Hillary Flammond: Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over...
Nick Rivers: Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.
Hillary Flammond: Some things are much better left unsaid.
Nick Rivers: Like what?
Hillary Flammond: Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over...
Nick Rivers: Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.
