The Trouble with Harry

The Trouble with Harry Quotes

The trouble with Harry is that he's dead, and everyone seems to have a different idea of what needs to be done with his body...

[the Captain and Miss Graveley have afternoon tea together]
Captain: A real handsome man's cup.
Miss Graveley: It's been in the family for years. My father always used it... until he died.
Captain: I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?
Miss Graveley: He was caught in a threshing machine.
[Referring to Harry Worp]
Jennifer Rogers: He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.
Miss Graveley: [Arnie puts a dead rabbit on the table while the Captain and Miss Graveley are having tea] What do you call him?
Arnie: Dead.
Capt. Wiles: Where did you get him?
Arnie: I found him.
Miss Graveley: Where did you find him?
Arnie: [Looking at the tea table] In the blueberry muffins.
Arnie: How do rabbits get born?
Sam Marlowe: Same way elephants do.
Miss Graveley: How old do you think I am young man?
Sam Marlowe: Hmm... fifty. How old do you think you are?
Miss Graveley: Forty-two! I can show you my birth certificate.
Sam Marlowe: I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.
Jennifer Rogers: [Sam is kissing her] Lightly, Sam. I have a very short fuse.
Capt. Wiles: [after Dr. Greenbow trips over the body] Couldn't have had more people here if I'd sold tickets.
[Discussing Jennifer's recently deceased husband Harry]
Jennifer Rogers: You can stuff him, for all I care. Stuff him and put him in a glass case, only I'd suggest frosted glass.
Sam Marlowe: What did he do to you? Besides marry you.
Sam Marlowe: Didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.
Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.
[Upon finding the Captain dragging a body along the ground]
Miss Graveley: What seems to be the trouble, Captain?
Sam Marlowe: Perharps I'll come back tomorrow.
Arnie: When's that?
Sam Marlowe: The day after today.
Arnie: That's yesterday. Today's tomorrow.
Sam Marlowe: It was.
Arnie: When was tomorrow yesterday?
Sam Marlowe: Today.
Arnie: Oh, sure. Yesterday.
Sam Marlowe: I think, Captain Wiles, we're tangled up in a murder.
Capt. Wiles: Murder. If it's murder who dunnit?
Sam Marlowe: Who did it?
Capt. Wiles: That's what I say, whodunnit?
Captain: Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.
Jennifer Rogers: I've never been to a home-made funeral before.
Capt. Wiles: I have... it's my third. All in one day...
Capt. Wiles: I fired three bullets. Three! One for the hunting sign, one for the tin can...
Sam Marlowe: ...and one for the little man who's lying in the grave.
Sam Marlowe: You're not supposed to bury bodies whenever you find them. It makes people suspicious.
Capt. Wiles: Coming home from Madagascar once we had a fireman on board who hit his head on a brick wall and died two days later.
Sam Marlowe: Where did he find a brick wall on board a ship?
Capt. Wiles: Mmmm... that's what we always wondered.
Sam Marlowe: Let's get Harry and pop him in.
Capt. Wiles: With hasty reverence.
Miss Graveley: [to Capt. Wiles] I'm grateful to you for burying my body.
Capt. Wiles: [as he sees Sam Marlowe coming] Next thing you know they'll be televising the whole thing.
Capt. Wiles: Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.

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