The Toxic Avenger

The Toxic Avenger Quotes

Tromaville has a monstrous new hero. The Toxic Avenger is born when mop boy Melvin Junko falls into a vat of toxic waste. Now evildoers will have a lot to lose.

Mayor's assistant: Gruesome ha? Have you met my mother in law? Now that's gruesome!
Frank: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, we are the entertainment for this afternoon. Now on the shotgun we've got my man Leroy. And on the cash register, we've got that magic fingers Rico.
Rico: That's me.
Frank: And last but not least, yours truely, Frank, on the stick.
Cigar Face: Honest cops are all alike. A bunch of fucking faggots.
The Toxic Avenger: You fat slob. Let's see if you've got any guts.
[Toxie then punches the mayor in the stomach and rips out his guts]
The Toxic Avenger: Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste.
Officer O'Clancy: No way, you're wasting your time.
Cigar Face: That's where you're wrong. YOU'RE wasting our time. And now we're gonna waste you!
Sara: Why Melvin you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. You're so muscular. It's been two years since I've touched a man.
Leroy: All right everybody, drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out.
Cigar Face: I owe you for the other night monster faggot. So now we're going to give you six new assholes. Compliments of me Cigar Face.
[Julie and Wanda are looking at pictures of a dead kid]
Julie: That new camera really captures the moments.
Wanda: I know. The reds are so red. It really gets me hot.
Bruce: I heard that the monster is soooo big.
Chauncey: Well I bet he's got his eye on ME!
Bruce: For your information, everyone knows monsters prefer blondes.
[Melvin catches Slug and Wanda having sex in the locker room]
Slug: Get out of here you pervert.
[Wanda pulls out a switchblade]
Wanda: Or I'll kill you.
Wanda: Slug, are you sure no one will come in?
Slug: I paid Tony 15 bucks. He said the place is ours till tomorrow morning.
Frank: Now if you all do just what we tell you, you just might, just might get your asses home all intact.
Leroy: Hey look Frank. Teeny-boppers. You like video games teeny-boppers? Your mommy give you quarters for video games? Well cough 'em up.
Leroy: Look what we've got here. A little mother and a littler baby. You like Mexican food little baby?
[Leroy points his gun at the baby]
Leroy: Well how would you like to have this hot tamale shoved down your throat?
The Toxic Avenger: No ticky, no washy.
[from trailer]
Narrator: Meet little Melvin, he's a 90 lb. weakling. Everyone hated Melvin.
[Cigar Face is counting money, while Knuckles is counting out loud]
Knuckles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Cigar Face: When we lay this wad on O'Clancy, the boss is going to have him by the balls.
Nipples: I don't think O'Clancy will take the money. Everyone says he's a honest cop.
Knuckles: He don't take the dough, I'm going to give him a blow.
Cop: [Police chasing the monster] Its my first day in the force and I am chasing monsters.

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