The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Quotes
Santa, aka Scott Calvin, is faced with double-duty: how to keep his new family happy, and how to stop Jack Frost from taking over Christmas.
Mother Nature: Jack Frost, You are hereby charged with 273 counts of attempted upstaging of Santa Claus. You froze a volcano in Hawaii. You made it snow in the Amazon. And you frosted Mexico, sending all of the geese north for the winter. You have violated the Legendary Figures Code of Conduct in a manner that is both willful and malicious.
Jack Frost: Excuse me... Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious.
Scott Calvin: Oh, please.
Jack Frost: Guilty as charged.
Jack Frost: Excuse me... Did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious.
Scott Calvin: Oh, please.
Jack Frost: Guilty as charged.
Bud Newman: [about the elves, thinking they are short toymakers]
Sylvia Newman: Well, they are petit.
Bud Newman: Tom Cruise is petit, these guys are short! What's the deal?
Scott Calvin: Have you ever been to this part of Canada?
Bud Newman: We got as far as Rochester in upstate New York to see Sylvia's sister in '67, but no.
Scott Calvin: They can't help the way they look up here. It's a bit rude to make fun of an entire country, don't you think?
Sylvia Newman: Well, they are petit.
Bud Newman: Tom Cruise is petit, these guys are short! What's the deal?
Scott Calvin: Have you ever been to this part of Canada?
Bud Newman: We got as far as Rochester in upstate New York to see Sylvia's sister in '67, but no.
Scott Calvin: They can't help the way they look up here. It's a bit rude to make fun of an entire country, don't you think?
Elf pianist: [playing "Theme from New York, New York" in an pleasingly expert but slightly "cheesy" honky-tonk style, indicating how Christmas at the Pole has deteriorated to the point where the traditional innocent childhood wonder and wholesome magic of the season is all but gone, and has become debauchedly commercialized and chintzy] Dunp-dunp, dye-duh-dunpuh; dunp-dunp, dye-duh-dunpuh; dunp-dunp, dye-duh-dunp, dunnh...
Jack Frost: [in a ridiculously loud booming tone and bombastic self-important style that makes him look like an overgrown puffed-up idiot] Start spreadin' th' news... by jet or by sleighhhh... You wanna be a part of it - - North Pole, North Pole... You snooze and you loooose... so come here to PLAYYYY... here at the VERY HEART OF IT - - North Pole, North Pole... come see the SNOWMAN... up where NO MAN's without a treeeeat... And watch this KING OF THE CHILL - - HA! - - turn up the heeeeat... Ah-those-ah summuhtime bluuuues... are MELTing awayyyy... although it's FIFTY-FIVE BELOW... at Polar Norrrth... You'll zip your - - PARKA tight... sugar plum trees - - LATE AT night... It's all for YOU - - North Pole, North Pole. You'll wanna WAKE UP in the RESORT that never sleeeeeps... and watch this king of the chill, inventive control, DOing his THING at the TOP of the POLE... If you can MAKE IT HERE... the world's all... CHRISTMAS CHEER...
Elf pianist: [groans at the absurdity of this last statement, since he and the other elves are feeling anything but cheerful with Jack Frost in charge]
Jack Frost:
Jack Frost: [in a ridiculously loud booming tone and bombastic self-important style that makes him look like an overgrown puffed-up idiot] Start spreadin' th' news... by jet or by sleighhhh... You wanna be a part of it - - North Pole, North Pole... You snooze and you loooose... so come here to PLAYYYY... here at the VERY HEART OF IT - - North Pole, North Pole... come see the SNOWMAN... up where NO MAN's without a treeeeat... And watch this KING OF THE CHILL - - HA! - - turn up the heeeeat... Ah-those-ah summuhtime bluuuues... are MELTing awayyyy... although it's FIFTY-FIVE BELOW... at Polar Norrrth... You'll zip your - - PARKA tight... sugar plum trees - - LATE AT night... It's all for YOU - - North Pole, North Pole. You'll wanna WAKE UP in the RESORT that never sleeeeeps... and watch this king of the chill, inventive control, DOing his THING at the TOP of the POLE... If you can MAKE IT HERE... the world's all... CHRISTMAS CHEER...
Elf pianist: [groans at the absurdity of this last statement, since he and the other elves are feeling anything but cheerful with Jack Frost in charge]
Jack Frost:
Mrs. Claus: Oh, Scott - - it's time.
Scott Calvin: [checks his watch] Oh, about 10 o' clock.
Mrs. Claus: No, it's time to deliver the package.
Scott Calvin: No... midnight, as usual.
Mrs. Claus: No, it's time to deliver **the package**.
Scott Calvin: [looks down at Carol's abdomen, then suddenly raises his head and widens his eyes in slightly alarmed realization] It's time to deliver the PACKAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
Scott Calvin: [checks his watch] Oh, about 10 o' clock.
Mrs. Claus: No, it's time to deliver the package.
Scott Calvin: No... midnight, as usual.
Mrs. Claus: No, it's time to deliver **the package**.
Scott Calvin: [looks down at Carol's abdomen, then suddenly raises his head and widens his eyes in slightly alarmed realization] It's time to deliver the PACKAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
Scott Calvin: Hahaha-hohohoho! The answer is in the question; How are we going to do this, my Dad thinks you're a toy maker in Canada.
Curtis: Canada?
Scott Calvin: Canada! It's North, in North America, Eh! Vinegar on their French fries, they sit on their Chesterfield to watch the hockey game, shoot the puck Daddy-o!
Curtis: Canada?
Scott Calvin: Canada! It's North, in North America, Eh! Vinegar on their French fries, they sit on their Chesterfield to watch the hockey game, shoot the puck Daddy-o!
