The Rundown Quotes
A tough aspiring chef is hired to bring home a mobster's son from the Amazon but becomes involved in the fight against an oppressive town operator and the search for a legendary treasure.
Travis: Let me get this straight - you never use guns?
Beck: No.
Travis: Never.
Beck: Never.
Travis: What if your best friend was gonna die, you wouldn't pick up a gun?
Beck: No guns.
Travis: Santa Claus would pick up a gun to save his best friend.
Beck: Do I look like Santa Claus? Do I look like Santa Claus to you?
Travis: What do you say? Guns make you whooh-poco-loco? Bang-bang-crazy?
Beck: I pick up guns, bad things happen to people. I don't like that.
Travis: What kind of things?
Beck: Very bad things, Travis. Walk.
Travis: What about knives?
Beck: Move.
Beck: No.
Travis: Never.
Beck: Never.
Travis: What if your best friend was gonna die, you wouldn't pick up a gun?
Beck: No guns.
Travis: Santa Claus would pick up a gun to save his best friend.
Beck: Do I look like Santa Claus? Do I look like Santa Claus to you?
Travis: What do you say? Guns make you whooh-poco-loco? Bang-bang-crazy?
Beck: I pick up guns, bad things happen to people. I don't like that.
Travis: What kind of things?
Beck: Very bad things, Travis. Walk.
Travis: What about knives?
Beck: Move.
[Manito says something in Portugese]
Mariana: Manito wants to know who you think would win a fight between Mike Tyson and Muhammed Ali.
Beck: Ali, hands down.
[Manito says something in Portugese]
Mariana: He says, what about Tyson's power?
Beck: Shit. Tell him Ali would have done to Tyson what he did to Foreman in Africa.
Manito: Ah, Rumble. Rumble in the Jungle.
Beck: Tell him Ali was too smart.
Mariana: [translates into Portugese]
Beck: Too smart, too fast. He would have used his jabs, bam, bam. He would have danced, played with his mind. Before you know it, bam. left to the body, bam. right to the head. Down goes Tyson.
Manito: Float like butterfly.
Beck: Sting like bee.
Mariana: Manito wants to know who you think would win a fight between Mike Tyson and Muhammed Ali.
Beck: Ali, hands down.
[Manito says something in Portugese]
Mariana: He says, what about Tyson's power?
Beck: Shit. Tell him Ali would have done to Tyson what he did to Foreman in Africa.
Manito: Ah, Rumble. Rumble in the Jungle.
Beck: Tell him Ali was too smart.
Mariana: [translates into Portugese]
Beck: Too smart, too fast. He would have used his jabs, bam, bam. He would have danced, played with his mind. Before you know it, bam. left to the body, bam. right to the head. Down goes Tyson.
Manito: Float like butterfly.
Beck: Sting like bee.
Beck: [speaking into a walkie talkie] Mr Hatcher, are you out there?
Hatcher: [presses reply button] What can I do for you, Mr. Beck?
Beck: I have no desire to fight with you or your men. For that reason you have two options. Option A, you leave the Gato and the girl, and you walk out of town no questions asked.
Hatcher: What's option B?
Beck: Option B? I make you.
[Silence. Then Hatcher starts laughing. Then his henchmen start laughing. Finally he presses the reply button so Beck can hear them laughing at him]
Beck: [slowly shakes head] Wrong choice.
[knocks out video camera]
Hatcher: Lock down the town.
Hatcher: [presses reply button] What can I do for you, Mr. Beck?
Beck: I have no desire to fight with you or your men. For that reason you have two options. Option A, you leave the Gato and the girl, and you walk out of town no questions asked.
Hatcher: What's option B?
Beck: Option B? I make you.
[Silence. Then Hatcher starts laughing. Then his henchmen start laughing. Finally he presses the reply button so Beck can hear them laughing at him]
Beck: [slowly shakes head] Wrong choice.
[knocks out video camera]
Hatcher: Lock down the town.
Hatcher: I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them... Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They've got my tooth. I want it back.
[Beck & Travis are paralyzed from eating a jungle fruit]
Beck: [slurred] Oh, thit...
Travis: [who can't turn his head] What? What?
Beck: Monkey! Monkey!
Travis: Monkey? Where? Get him away from me!
Beck: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Travis: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Beck: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
[Sounds of a swarm of monkeys running around them and drawing closer]
Travis: Oh, no...
Beck: I hate this place. I hate penis-eating minnows and I hate freaky fruit. I want to go home. I want concrete. I want homemade tortellini. I want my Los Angeles Lakers. I want to go home, I want to go home, I WANT TO GO HOME!
[He gets pissed off enough to overcome the paralysis and lift his head and arm, waving a tree branch]
Beck: Get out of here, monkeys! Get out of here, monkeys!
[the monkeys run off. Beck tries to stand, and promptly collapses to the ground again]
Beck: [slurred] Oh, thit...
Travis: [who can't turn his head] What? What?
Beck: Monkey! Monkey!
Travis: Monkey? Where? Get him away from me!
Beck: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Travis: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
Beck: [weakly] Get out of here, Monkey.
[Sounds of a swarm of monkeys running around them and drawing closer]
Travis: Oh, no...
Beck: I hate this place. I hate penis-eating minnows and I hate freaky fruit. I want to go home. I want concrete. I want homemade tortellini. I want my Los Angeles Lakers. I want to go home, I want to go home, I WANT TO GO HOME!
[He gets pissed off enough to overcome the paralysis and lift his head and arm, waving a tree branch]
Beck: Get out of here, monkeys! Get out of here, monkeys!
[the monkeys run off. Beck tries to stand, and promptly collapses to the ground again]
Beck: What are you doing?
Travis: I have to pee.
Beck: Pee in your pants, move!
Travis: No!
Beck: Excuse me?
Travis: I've let you push me around this jungle for like five hours, now if you wanna keep going your just gonna have to carry me I guarantee I'm gonna pee on your head.
Beck: Your threatening me? Your threatening me with pee?
Travis: Yeah if you don't let me pee here.
Beck: Fine, you win, pee!
Travis: Will you unzip me?
Beck: No I'm not gonna unzip you. You have 30 seconds, PEE!
Travis: How am I supose to pee with my hands cuffed behind my back?
Beck: Find a way!
Travis: I have to pee.
Beck: Pee in your pants, move!
Travis: No!
Beck: Excuse me?
Travis: I've let you push me around this jungle for like five hours, now if you wanna keep going your just gonna have to carry me I guarantee I'm gonna pee on your head.
Beck: Your threatening me? Your threatening me with pee?
Travis: Yeah if you don't let me pee here.
Beck: Fine, you win, pee!
Travis: Will you unzip me?
Beck: No I'm not gonna unzip you. You have 30 seconds, PEE!
Travis: How am I supose to pee with my hands cuffed behind my back?
Beck: Find a way!
Beck: I need you to make a choice for me.
Travis: What choice?
Beck: Option A or Option B. Option A: we walk out of here nice and easy, we go back to the airstrip, and then we begin our long journey back to Los Angeles. There'll be no bruises, no broken bones, and no problems.
Travis: What's in Los Angeles?
Beck: Your father.
Travis: What's Option B?
Beck: Pretty much the opposite of A. But I wouldn't recommend that one.
Travis: What choice?
Beck: Option A or Option B. Option A: we walk out of here nice and easy, we go back to the airstrip, and then we begin our long journey back to Los Angeles. There'll be no bruises, no broken bones, and no problems.
Travis: What's in Los Angeles?
Beck: Your father.
Travis: What's Option B?
Beck: Pretty much the opposite of A. But I wouldn't recommend that one.
Mariana: Don't pee in the water.
Beck: Why?
Mariana: A candiru, a vicious parasite will swim up the urine into your pau.
Beck: Swim up my what?
Mariana: Your pinto. It'll swim up your ding-dong. And once it gets in, you can't get it out.
Beck: [Stammers] Well, then what?
Mariana: They have to amputate.
Beck: Not this boy's pinto. Uh-uh, not today!
Beck: Why?
Mariana: A candiru, a vicious parasite will swim up the urine into your pau.
Beck: Swim up my what?
Mariana: Your pinto. It'll swim up your ding-dong. And once it gets in, you can't get it out.
Beck: [Stammers] Well, then what?
Mariana: They have to amputate.
Beck: Not this boy's pinto. Uh-uh, not today!
Hatcher: Where you see Hell, I see a spellbinding sense of purpose. I see the value of keeping your eye on the ball. When a bride slips the ring on her finger, when a businessman lays his hands on a Rolex, when a rapper gets a shiny new tooth, this is that cost, Mr. Beck, my horror for their beauty, my Hell for their little slice of Heaven. Somebody's gotta keep his eye on the ball. That somebody is me, Mr. Beck. I am down here every day, keeping my eye on the ball. That's just a simple fact of life. And if you're bold enough to face that cold hard fact... you can make a lot of money.
Travis: Have you ever heard of the Gato du Diabo? It's a priceless object, forged out of pure gold. It's worth millions.
Beck: I thought you said it was priceless.
Travis: You do not want to argue semantics with a PhD candidate.
Beck: PhD?
Travis: Yeah, I am very close to being Dr. Travis Walker.
Beck: You dropped out of Stanford after two semesters, Einstein.
Beck: I thought you said it was priceless.
Travis: You do not want to argue semantics with a PhD candidate.
Beck: PhD?
Travis: Yeah, I am very close to being Dr. Travis Walker.
Beck: You dropped out of Stanford after two semesters, Einstein.
Beck: I don't make deals with people like you.
Travis: You don't even know me.
Beck: You're just like every other jackass that I've taken down. First they try to run, then they try to fight, then they try to negotiate. And when that doesn't work, you're gonna do what all the others do when they realize it's over.
Travis: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Beck: You're gonna get down on your hands and knees and you're gonna beg me for a break. Well, guess what? I don't give breaks. No breaks.
Travis: You don't even know me.
Beck: You're just like every other jackass that I've taken down. First they try to run, then they try to fight, then they try to negotiate. And when that doesn't work, you're gonna do what all the others do when they realize it's over.
Travis: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Beck: You're gonna get down on your hands and knees and you're gonna beg me for a break. Well, guess what? I don't give breaks. No breaks.
Beck: I'm looking for a man.
Mariana: What's your type?
[Travis comes out of the bathroom and walks toward the door]
Beck: His name's Travis Walker.
[Travis stops behind Beck, and slowly turns around]
Beck: [without turning around] He's in his twenties, he's got sandy hair, a beard, wearing a blue shirt and jeans, right now he's got a real bewildered look on his face.
Mariana: What's your type?
[Travis comes out of the bathroom and walks toward the door]
Beck: His name's Travis Walker.
[Travis stops behind Beck, and slowly turns around]
Beck: [without turning around] He's in his twenties, he's got sandy hair, a beard, wearing a blue shirt and jeans, right now he's got a real bewildered look on his face.
[on the phone with his boss, before collecting from Knapmiller]
Beck: It's me. Oh yeah, he's here. But there's a problem, he's got the entire offensive line here. That's right, the entire offensive line. Why don't we just do this another night? Listen, they've got a legitimate shot at repeating this year, I do not want to hurt them.
Beck: It's me. Oh yeah, he's here. But there's a problem, he's got the entire offensive line here. That's right, the entire offensive line. Why don't we just do this another night? Listen, they've got a legitimate shot at repeating this year, I do not want to hurt them.
[first lines]
Emeril Lagasse (on radio): I just love mushrooms. One of my favorites, or as I call it, "the king of mushrooms," is the porcini. Now stop right there. Don't be alarmed. There's a lot of confusion in this country between porcini, the Italian name, and cèpes, which is the French name. They're fat and they're earthy. Now the porcini is most often seen dried here in this country. And they would always be labeled "dried porcinis," not "dried cèpes." OK? They are very, very, very flavorful.
Emeril Lagasse (on radio): I just love mushrooms. One of my favorites, or as I call it, "the king of mushrooms," is the porcini. Now stop right there. Don't be alarmed. There's a lot of confusion in this country between porcini, the Italian name, and cèpes, which is the French name. They're fat and they're earthy. Now the porcini is most often seen dried here in this country. And they would always be labeled "dried porcinis," not "dried cèpes." OK? They are very, very, very flavorful.
