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A clerical mistake results in a bumbling film extra being invited to an exclusive Hollywood party instead of being fired.
[repeated line] Hrundi V. Bakshi: Birdie Num Num
[last lines] Michelle Monet: Oh, here's your hat. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh, look... you keep it. Michelle Monet: But you may need it. Hrundi V. Bakshi: No, I'd like you to keep it. Michelle Monet: All right. If you think that you should want it or need it sometimes... Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, if I need it... I could always come, perhaps, and pick it up. Michelle Monet: That would be very nice. Hrundi V. Bakshi: When would you be available for me to pick up my hat? Michelle Monet: Well... [laughs shyly] Michelle Monet: maybe next week. Hrundi V. Bakshi: I'll come and get it then. Michelle Monet: OK. Hrundi V. Bakshi: For I'd love to have my hat back. Michelle Monet: Goodbye. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Bye bye.
C. S. Divot: Who do you think you are? Hrundi V. Bakshi: In India, we don't think who we are. We know who we are.
Director: You. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Me? Director: Yes, you. Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off! You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make another movie again! Hrundi V. Bakshi: Does that include television, sir?
Director: Cut dammit! Cut! Mr Bakshi. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Yes, Sir? Director: Has it occurred to you that the period of our picture is 1878? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh, yes indeed sir. I am well aware that that is the period of the film. 1878. Director: Mr. Bakshi, are you also aware that in 1878 they weren't wearing underwater watches? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Yes sir, I know that. They had not even been invented. Director: Got the time? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Yes, it's... [looks at his underwater watch] Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh my God.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Do you speak Hindustani? Michelle Monet: No. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, you are not missing anything.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: [to Fred] She's having the birdie num nums.
Hrundi Bakshi: Wisdom is the province of the aged, but the heart of a child is pure.
C. S. Divot: You mashuga! Hrundi V. Bakshi: I am not your sugar.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: We have a saying in India... Michelle Monet: Yes? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Yes. Michelle Monet: Well? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well what?
'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Where are you from? Hrundi V. Bakshi: I am from India. 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Got you covered, Injun. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh! Bang! Howdy, partner! 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Pretty quick on the draw there. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Never I believed in my whole life I would meet him, and he would go "Bang, partner". Listen to me: white man speak with forked tongue.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Hrundi V. Bakshi. Michelle Monet: Pardon? Hrundi V. Bakshi: That is what my name is called.
[repeated line] Hrundi V. Bakshi: Howdy partiner.
Rosalind Dunphy: [Hrundi is clucking over the P.A. system] What in the world is that? Congressman Dunphy: I can't imagine.
Levinson: [Comes in with a plate of hors d'oeuvres with Hrundi's shoe on top of it] Would you care for some hors-d'oeuvres sir? Hrundi V. Bakshi: I am on a diet, but to hell with it! [Takes his shoe]
Hrundi V. Bakshi: This is a particularly good one because it helps you always to remember how many days there are in each month. It goes like this: Thirty days have September, October, June and February, all the rest have 29, except my brother who got six months.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: [to the bird] Would you like? Would you like some food, Polly? Pretty Polly.
'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: [to Hrundi] Oh, howdy, little buddy,
[first lines] Director: All right, cut it! Cut it!
C. S. Divot: [to Michelle] And forget about that test tomorrow, baby. You're finished in this business before you even start! You're wiped out! You're finished!
'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: I'll stomp you and the horse you ride in on.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: [answering telephone] This is 469-6151. Please remain connected to the telephone.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh, big chief speak with forked tongue.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Excuse me, sir, but, you are, are you not, "Wyoming Bill" Kelso, the famous film star? 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: That's me, in the flesh. Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh, God. What a moment in my life! Oh, sir, I've seen every one of your films. 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Oh, well, that's wonderful! Wonderful!
Hrundi V. Bakshi: [to Wyoming Bill] Oh, you got me right in the pantaloons, partner.
Michelle Monet: [about Charles Divot] It's not really his fault. Hrundi V. Bakshi: He's a terrible man. Please stay at the party. Let's have a wonderful time.
Michelle Monet: You were saying something about a saying.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: It's good to have a laugh.
Hrundi V. Bakshi: It's an honor to have had my hand crushed by 'Wyoming' Bill Kelso. Wait until I tell them back home. [winces, then sticks his hand in ice that contains caviar] Hrundi V. Bakshi: [Sniffs] Poo...
Hrundi V. Bakshi: What is this game you call to get the brightly colored balls in the hole? 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Pool. Hrundi V. Bakshi: POO? 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Not poo! POOL! Hrundi V. Bakshi: Oh, POOO-EL! 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: That's right! Hrundi V. Bakshi: How many people can play this poo-el? 'Wyoming Bill' Kelso: Oh one or two or a whole bunch of people!
Hrundi V. Bakshi: Hello, dog. What do you want, eh? You like my feet, do you? Have your fill and away you go. Feet are considered a delicacy among certain animals, you know. Go on. You've had enough now. Off. Ciao, dog. In fact, there are certain man-eating animals who will eat only the feet, leave everything else. Can't touch one another thing. Get away. Ciao, now. Ciao, dog. Get away. Get away from me. dog.
[repeated line] Levinson: Vodka or scotch?
Michelle Monet: Do you speak French? Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, just enough to get myself into trouble.