The Parent Trap Quotes
Identical twins, separated at birth and each raised by one of their biological parents, discover each other for the first time at summer camp and make a plan to bring their wayward parents back together.
Annie: Hallie, what was your mother like?
Hallie: I never met her. She and my Dad split up when I was a baby, maybe even before, I'm not sure. He doesn't really like to talk about her... but I know she was really beautiful.
Annie: How do you know that?
Hallie: Because my dad had this old picture of her hidden in his sock drawer and he caught me looking at it all the time so he gave it to me to keep. I'm really thirsty, you sure you don't want to go to the canteen and get something to drink?
Annie: Will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this!
Hallie: At a time like what?
Annie: [as she and Hallie step back into the cabin] Don't you realize what's happening? Oh man, this is beyond coincidence, this is beyond imagination! I only have a mother, and you only have a father... You've never seen your Mom, and I've never seen my Dad. You have one old picture of your Mom, I have one old picture of my Dad but at least yours is probably a whole picture.
[Hallie races over to her trunk]
Annie: Mine's a pathetic little thing, ripped right down the middle... What are you rummaging in your trunk for this time?
Hallie: [she finally faces Annie as she hold a picture to her chest] This. It's the picture of my Mom. And it's ripped too.
Annie: [knowing] Right down the middle?
Hallie: [nervously] Right down the middle.
Annie: [races over to her trunk and takes out a photo and holds it to her chest] This is so freaky. Okay. On the count of three, we'll show them to each other, okay?
Hallie: Okay.
Annie: One...
Hallie: Two...
Annie: [together with Hallie] Three!
[they both gasp as they place the photo together and realize... ]
Hallie: That's my Dad...
Annie: That's my Mom...
[she hears the bell]
Annie: That's the lunch bell.
Hallie: [as she wipes away her tears] I'm not so hungry anymore. So if your Mom is my Mom and my Dad is your Dad... and we're both born on October 11th, then you and I are... like... sisters.
Annie: Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins!
Hallie: Oh my god!
Annie: Oh my god!
[they hug]
Hallie: I never met her. She and my Dad split up when I was a baby, maybe even before, I'm not sure. He doesn't really like to talk about her... but I know she was really beautiful.
Annie: How do you know that?
Hallie: Because my dad had this old picture of her hidden in his sock drawer and he caught me looking at it all the time so he gave it to me to keep. I'm really thirsty, you sure you don't want to go to the canteen and get something to drink?
Annie: Will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this!
Hallie: At a time like what?
Annie: [as she and Hallie step back into the cabin] Don't you realize what's happening? Oh man, this is beyond coincidence, this is beyond imagination! I only have a mother, and you only have a father... You've never seen your Mom, and I've never seen my Dad. You have one old picture of your Mom, I have one old picture of my Dad but at least yours is probably a whole picture.
[Hallie races over to her trunk]
Annie: Mine's a pathetic little thing, ripped right down the middle... What are you rummaging in your trunk for this time?
Hallie: [she finally faces Annie as she hold a picture to her chest] This. It's the picture of my Mom. And it's ripped too.
Annie: [knowing] Right down the middle?
Hallie: [nervously] Right down the middle.
Annie: [races over to her trunk and takes out a photo and holds it to her chest] This is so freaky. Okay. On the count of three, we'll show them to each other, okay?
Hallie: Okay.
Annie: One...
Hallie: Two...
Annie: [together with Hallie] Three!
[they both gasp as they place the photo together and realize... ]
Hallie: That's my Dad...
Annie: That's my Mom...
[she hears the bell]
Annie: That's the lunch bell.
Hallie: [as she wipes away her tears] I'm not so hungry anymore. So if your Mom is my Mom and my Dad is your Dad... and we're both born on October 11th, then you and I are... like... sisters.
Annie: Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins!
Hallie: Oh my god!
Annie: Oh my god!
[they hug]
Nick Parker: What's going on?
Meredith Blake: Here's what's going on, buddy: the day we get married is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland, get the picture? It's me, or them. Take your pick.
Nick Parker: Them.
[Hallie and Annie stare at each other excitedly]
Meredith Blake: Excuse me?
Nick Parker: T-H-E-M. Them.
[staring into Meredith's face]
Nick Parker: Get the picture?
Meredith Blake: Here's what's going on, buddy: the day we get married is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland, get the picture? It's me, or them. Take your pick.
Nick Parker: Them.
[Hallie and Annie stare at each other excitedly]
Meredith Blake: Excuse me?
Nick Parker: T-H-E-M. Them.
[staring into Meredith's face]
Nick Parker: Get the picture?
Nick Parker: Hal, come here. We have to talk
Annie as Hallie: Okay shoot.
Nick Parker: Okay, honey... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family?
Annie as Hallie: Part of our family?
Nick Parker: Yeah.
Annie as Hallie: I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really.
Nick Parker: You do? Really? You do?
Annie as Hallie: Totally, it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister.
Nick Parker: Oh... um... Honey, I'm think you're kind of missing the point.
Annie as Hallie: No, I'm not. You're gonna adopt Meredith. That is so sweet, Dad.
Nick Parker: No, I'm not going to adopt her. I'm going to MARRY her.
Annie as Hallie: [leaps from her seat] Marry her? That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?
[she begins to rant, accidentally yelling in French]
Annie as Hallie: Mais tu plaisantes, j'espère. Meredith, ce n'est pas une fille pour toi. Mais c'est pas possible, je rêve. Qu'est-ce qui...
Nick Parker: Hal, Hal, Hal. Calm down, Hal!
[realizes]
Nick Parker: Are you speaking French?
Annie as Hallie: I... I learned it at camp.
[takes a breath]
Annie as Hallie: Ok, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly. Calmly and rationally.
Nick Parker: Yeah and in English if you don't mind, right?
Annie as Hallie: Okay.
Nick Parker: Sweetheart what has gotten into you?
Annie as Hallie: Nothing, nothing, just... just... Dad, you can't get married! It'll totally ruin completely everything!
[she runs from the house]
Nick Parker: Hal! Hal! Hallie!
[he looks to Chessy, who appears at a window]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Don't look at me. I don't know a thing.
[she closes the windows]
Annie as Hallie: Okay shoot.
Nick Parker: Okay, honey... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family?
Annie as Hallie: Part of our family?
Nick Parker: Yeah.
Annie as Hallie: I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really.
Nick Parker: You do? Really? You do?
Annie as Hallie: Totally, it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister.
Nick Parker: Oh... um... Honey, I'm think you're kind of missing the point.
Annie as Hallie: No, I'm not. You're gonna adopt Meredith. That is so sweet, Dad.
Nick Parker: No, I'm not going to adopt her. I'm going to MARRY her.
Annie as Hallie: [leaps from her seat] Marry her? That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?
[she begins to rant, accidentally yelling in French]
Annie as Hallie: Mais tu plaisantes, j'espère. Meredith, ce n'est pas une fille pour toi. Mais c'est pas possible, je rêve. Qu'est-ce qui...
Nick Parker: Hal, Hal, Hal. Calm down, Hal!
[realizes]
Nick Parker: Are you speaking French?
Annie as Hallie: I... I learned it at camp.
[takes a breath]
Annie as Hallie: Ok, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly. Calmly and rationally.
Nick Parker: Yeah and in English if you don't mind, right?
Annie as Hallie: Okay.
Nick Parker: Sweetheart what has gotten into you?
Annie as Hallie: Nothing, nothing, just... just... Dad, you can't get married! It'll totally ruin completely everything!
[she runs from the house]
Nick Parker: Hal! Hal! Hallie!
[he looks to Chessy, who appears at a window]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Don't look at me. I don't know a thing.
[she closes the windows]
Annie as Hallie: [after a discussion about how Annie as Hallie seems different to Chessy] Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, that's all.
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: OK, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say it's almost like you were... forget it, it's impossible.
Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were who, Chessy?
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Nobody, nobody, forget I mentioned it.
Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were - Annie?
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: [slowly turning around] You know about Annie?
Annie as Hallie: [dropping her "Hallie" accent] I... am Annie.
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: OK, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say it's almost like you were... forget it, it's impossible.
Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were who, Chessy?
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Nobody, nobody, forget I mentioned it.
Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were - Annie?
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: [slowly turning around] You know about Annie?
Annie as Hallie: [dropping her "Hallie" accent] I... am Annie.
Hallie: [playing poker with Annie at camp] I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll make you a little deal: *loser* jumps into the lake after the game.
Annie: Excellent.
Hallie: Butt naked.
Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker.
[revealing her hand to Hallie]
Annie: Straight, in diamonds.
Hallie: You're good James... but... you're just not good enough.
[revealing her hand to Annie]
Hallie: In your honor, a royal flush.
Annie: Excellent.
Hallie: Butt naked.
Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker.
[revealing her hand to Hallie]
Annie: Straight, in diamonds.
Hallie: You're good James... but... you're just not good enough.
[revealing her hand to Annie]
Hallie: In your honor, a royal flush.
Elizabeth James: [Hallie, as Annie, is underneath Elizabeth's covers struggling to tell her about the switch] Annie!
Hallie as Annie: That's where I have to go! I have to go see Annie!
Elizabeth James: Oh, I see, and where might Annie be?
Hallie as Annie: In Napa, with her father Nick Parker.
Elizabeth James: You're not Annie?
Elizabeth James: That would be correct.
Elizabeth James: You're Hallie?
Hallie as Annie: I am. Annie and I met up at camp and, and we decided to switch places. I'm sorry, but I've never seen you and I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad so, so we sort of just switched lives. I hope you're not mad because I love you so much, and I just hope that one day you could love me as me, and not as Annie.
Elizabeth James: Oh darling, I've loved you your whole life.
Martin, the James' Butler: [sobbing] I've never been so happy in my entire life.
Hallie as Annie: That's where I have to go! I have to go see Annie!
Elizabeth James: Oh, I see, and where might Annie be?
Hallie as Annie: In Napa, with her father Nick Parker.
Elizabeth James: You're not Annie?
Elizabeth James: That would be correct.
Elizabeth James: You're Hallie?
Hallie as Annie: I am. Annie and I met up at camp and, and we decided to switch places. I'm sorry, but I've never seen you and I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad so, so we sort of just switched lives. I hope you're not mad because I love you so much, and I just hope that one day you could love me as me, and not as Annie.
Elizabeth James: Oh darling, I've loved you your whole life.
Martin, the James' Butler: [sobbing] I've never been so happy in my entire life.
Annie: Need a hand, Mer?
Meredith Blake: Not from you, thank you. Don't think I can see past those angelic faces. One more trick from you two, and I promise I'll make your lives miserable from the day I say "I do." Got it?
Hallie: Got it, Cruella.
Meredith Blake: What did you call me?
Hallie: Nothing. Nothing. Not a thing, Cruella. Oh, by the way, Mer. I think there's something on your head.
[the lizard is on her head]
Meredith Blake: Not from you, thank you. Don't think I can see past those angelic faces. One more trick from you two, and I promise I'll make your lives miserable from the day I say "I do." Got it?
Hallie: Got it, Cruella.
Meredith Blake: What did you call me?
Hallie: Nothing. Nothing. Not a thing, Cruella. Oh, by the way, Mer. I think there's something on your head.
[the lizard is on her head]
Miss Inch: [reading from index cards] Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals. I am your supreme commander here. My name is...
[turns to the next card and continues reading]
Miss Inch: Miss Inch.
[frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one]
Miss Inch: Oh, yes, Miss Inch.
[turns to the next card and continues reading]
Miss Inch: Miss Inch.
[frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one]
Miss Inch: Oh, yes, Miss Inch.
Elizabeth James: One of you, I'm not sure which one at the moment, but one of you told me your father knew I was arriving here today. Well I'm here to tell you that the man I just saw in the elevator had absolutely no idea he and I were on the same *planet*, let alone in the same hotel.
Annie as Hallie: You saw dad already?
Elizabeth James: Yes I did now.
[flopping onto the couch]
Elizabeth James: Oh. The man went completely action like I was the bloody ghost of Christmas past!
[to both girls]
Elizabeth James: Can one of you get something cold for my head?
Elizabeth James: [Annie gets up] I mean, don't you think I've pondered what it was going to be like to see your father after all these years? Well let me tell you, me waving like a mindless idiot while Nick Parker's wrapped around another woman's arms is not exactly the scenario I had in mind. No sirree.
Annie as Hallie: You saw dad already?
Elizabeth James: Yes I did now.
[flopping onto the couch]
Elizabeth James: Oh. The man went completely action like I was the bloody ghost of Christmas past!
[to both girls]
Elizabeth James: Can one of you get something cold for my head?
Elizabeth James: [Annie gets up] I mean, don't you think I've pondered what it was going to be like to see your father after all these years? Well let me tell you, me waving like a mindless idiot while Nick Parker's wrapped around another woman's arms is not exactly the scenario I had in mind. No sirree.
Elizabeth James: [thinking she is talking to her father, who has a newspaper up between them] Hey stranger...
Hallie: [puts down newspaper. then] Hey Mom, did you know that the Concorde gets you here in half the time?
Elizabeth James: [flustered] Yes, I, I've heard that...
Annie: [after Hallie surprises Elizabeth and Annie by arriving in London and showing up at their home before Elizabeth and Annie do] What are you doing here?
Hallie: It took us abound 30 seconds after you guys left for us to realize we didn't want to lose you two again.
Elizabeth James: We?
Nick Parker: [walking in from another room] We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Lizzie. I'm not going to do that again no matter how brave you are.
Elizabeth James: And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees, and fall into your arms, and cry hysterically. And say we'll just figure this whole thing out. A bi-continental relationship with our daughters being raised here and there. And. And, you and I just picking up where we left off and growing old together. And... and... c'mon, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after?
Nick Parker: Yes. To all of the above. Except you don't have to cry hysterically.
Elizabeth James: [With tears in her eyes] Oh, yes I do.
[he kisses her]
Hallie: [puts down newspaper. then] Hey Mom, did you know that the Concorde gets you here in half the time?
Elizabeth James: [flustered] Yes, I, I've heard that...
Annie: [after Hallie surprises Elizabeth and Annie by arriving in London and showing up at their home before Elizabeth and Annie do] What are you doing here?
Hallie: It took us abound 30 seconds after you guys left for us to realize we didn't want to lose you two again.
Elizabeth James: We?
Nick Parker: [walking in from another room] We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Lizzie. I'm not going to do that again no matter how brave you are.
Elizabeth James: And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees, and fall into your arms, and cry hysterically. And say we'll just figure this whole thing out. A bi-continental relationship with our daughters being raised here and there. And. And, you and I just picking up where we left off and growing old together. And... and... c'mon, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after?
Nick Parker: Yes. To all of the above. Except you don't have to cry hysterically.
Elizabeth James: [With tears in her eyes] Oh, yes I do.
[he kisses her]
Hallie: [takes out a box of Oreos] Want one?
Annie: Oh, sure, I love Oreos. At home, I eat them with... I eat them with peanut butter.
Hallie: You do? That is so weird.
[takes out a jar of peanut butter]
Hallie: So do I!
Annie: You're kidding! Most people find that totally disgusting.
Hallie: I know, I don't get it.
Annie: Me either.
Annie: Oh, sure, I love Oreos. At home, I eat them with... I eat them with peanut butter.
Hallie: You do? That is so weird.
[takes out a jar of peanut butter]
Hallie: So do I!
Annie: You're kidding! Most people find that totally disgusting.
Hallie: I know, I don't get it.
Annie: Me either.
Martin, the James' Butler: Shall we review your mother's list?
Annie: Mm-hmm.
Martin, the James' Butler: Now, let's see. Vitamins?
Annie: Check.
Martin, the James' Butler: Minerals?
Annie: Check.
Martin, the James' Butler: List of daily fruits and vegetables?
Annie: Check, check.
[Martin glances at Annie]
Annie: Check for fruits, check for vegetables. Go on.
Martin, the James' Butler: Sunblock, lip balm, insect repellent, stationery, stamps, photographs of your mother, grandfather, and of course, your trusty butler, me.
Annie: Got it all, I think.
Martin, the James' Butler: Oh, and here's a little something from your grandfather.
[Holds up a deck of cards]
Martin, the James' Butler: Spanking new deck of cards. Maybe you'll actually find someone on this continent who can whip your tush at poker.
Annie: Well, I doubt it, but thanks, Martin.
Annie: Mm-hmm.
Martin, the James' Butler: Now, let's see. Vitamins?
Annie: Check.
Martin, the James' Butler: Minerals?
Annie: Check.
Martin, the James' Butler: List of daily fruits and vegetables?
Annie: Check, check.
[Martin glances at Annie]
Annie: Check for fruits, check for vegetables. Go on.
Martin, the James' Butler: Sunblock, lip balm, insect repellent, stationery, stamps, photographs of your mother, grandfather, and of course, your trusty butler, me.
Annie: Got it all, I think.
Martin, the James' Butler: Oh, and here's a little something from your grandfather.
[Holds up a deck of cards]
Martin, the James' Butler: Spanking new deck of cards. Maybe you'll actually find someone on this continent who can whip your tush at poker.
Annie: Well, I doubt it, but thanks, Martin.
Meredith Blake: You know, from the way your father talked about you, I expected a little girl, but you are so grown-up.
Annie as Hallie: I'll be twelve soon. How old are you?
Meredith Blake: [chuckling] Twenty-six.
Annie as Hallie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?
Nick Parker: Wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!
Annie as Hallie: I'll be twelve soon. How old are you?
Meredith Blake: [chuckling] Twenty-six.
Annie as Hallie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?
Nick Parker: Wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: [seeing Martin for the first time, dazed] Hello
Martin, the James' Butler: [French music plays] Hello... hello to you
Elizabeth James: Chessy, this is our butler, Martin.
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: How do you do?
[pointing at Hallie]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: I'm her butler.
Martin, the James' Butler: Enchanté mademoiselle
[kisses her hand]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Gee, the pleasure's all mine monsieur.
Martin, the James' Butler: [French music plays] Hello... hello to you
Elizabeth James: Chessy, this is our butler, Martin.
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: How do you do?
[pointing at Hallie]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: I'm her butler.
Martin, the James' Butler: Enchanté mademoiselle
[kisses her hand]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Gee, the pleasure's all mine monsieur.
Nick Parker: You know, I may never be alone with you again. So about that day you packed, why'd you do it?
Elizabeth James: Oh, Nick. We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on my very first 747, and you didn't come after me.
Nick Parker: I didn't know that you wanted me to.
Elizabeth James: Well, that really doesn't matter anymore. So, let's put on a good face for the girls and get the show on the road, huh?
Nick Parker: Yeah, sure. Let's get the show on the road.
Elizabeth James: Oh, Nick. We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on my very first 747, and you didn't come after me.
Nick Parker: I didn't know that you wanted me to.
Elizabeth James: Well, that really doesn't matter anymore. So, let's put on a good face for the girls and get the show on the road, huh?
Nick Parker: Yeah, sure. Let's get the show on the road.
Elizabeth James: [after the limo pulls up to the end of an empty pier and everyone gets out] Where are we?
Nick Parker: This is where we're eating?
Hallie: [Pointing to a 100+ foot yacht] No. Actually, *that's* where we're eating.
Annie: She's ours for the night.
Nick Parker: Wow. So, how exactly are we paying for this?
Annie: Well, we pooled our allowances.
Nick Parker: Yeah. Right. Annie?
Annie: Okay. Grandfather chipped in a bit.
Elizabeth James: Annie!
Annie: Okay. He chipped in a lot.
Nick Parker: This is where we're eating?
Hallie: [Pointing to a 100+ foot yacht] No. Actually, *that's* where we're eating.
Annie: She's ours for the night.
Nick Parker: Wow. So, how exactly are we paying for this?
Annie: Well, we pooled our allowances.
Nick Parker: Yeah. Right. Annie?
Annie: Okay. Grandfather chipped in a bit.
Elizabeth James: Annie!
Annie: Okay. He chipped in a lot.
Susan Evers: Do you want to know Father? And I'm just dying to know Mother. It might be so scary that we just might be able to pull it off.
Sharon McKendrick: Pull what off?
Susan Evers: Switch places!
Sharon McKendrick: Switch?
Susan Evers: We can do it. We're twins, aren't we? Oh, I'm just dying to know Mother! Look, now I'M getting goosebumps!
Sharon McKendrick: Me, too. You know something? There's more to it than just switching places. I believe fate brought us together.
Susan Evers: How so?
Sharon McKendrick: If we switched, sooner or later, they'd have to unswitch us.
Susan Evers: Mother would have to bring me to California to unmix us.
Sharon McKendrick: And they'd have to meet again.
Susan Evers: Face-to-face. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Sharon McKendrick: Exactly.
Susan Evers: Let's get to work!
Sharon McKendrick: Pull what off?
Susan Evers: Switch places!
Sharon McKendrick: Switch?
Susan Evers: We can do it. We're twins, aren't we? Oh, I'm just dying to know Mother! Look, now I'M getting goosebumps!
Sharon McKendrick: Me, too. You know something? There's more to it than just switching places. I believe fate brought us together.
Susan Evers: How so?
Sharon McKendrick: If we switched, sooner or later, they'd have to unswitch us.
Susan Evers: Mother would have to bring me to California to unmix us.
Sharon McKendrick: And they'd have to meet again.
Susan Evers: Face-to-face. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Sharon McKendrick: Exactly.
Susan Evers: Let's get to work!
[Hallie is trying to convince Annie the proposed switch will work]
Hallie: Look, I can do you already.
[Hallie pulls her hair back and adopts a British accent]
Hallie: "Yes, you want to know the real difference between us? I have class and you don't." Come on, Annie. I gotta meet my ma.
[arranges her expression into a pout]
Hallie: Look, I can do you already.
[Hallie pulls her hair back and adopts a British accent]
Hallie: "Yes, you want to know the real difference between us? I have class and you don't." Come on, Annie. I gotta meet my ma.
[arranges her expression into a pout]
Hallie as Annie: [suddenly recognizing her grandfather as the man who had been standing outside the phone booth, and realizing that he has therefore heard everything she was saying to Annie and so knows that something is up] Uh-oohhhh...
Grandpa Charles James: [in a slightly stern but kindly tone, and with an obvious amused twinkle] "Uh-oh" is right. Now suppose you and I just take a little stroll in the park, young lady, and you can tell me awl-l-l-l-l about it?
Hallie as Annie: [in a resigned but slightly hopeful voice, feeling encouraged that her grampa didn't get mad right off] Okay.
Grandpa Charles James: [in a slightly stern but kindly tone, and with an obvious amused twinkle] "Uh-oh" is right. Now suppose you and I just take a little stroll in the park, young lady, and you can tell me awl-l-l-l-l about it?
Hallie as Annie: [in a resigned but slightly hopeful voice, feeling encouraged that her grampa didn't get mad right off] Okay.
Marva Kulp, Sr.: Excuse me, girls. I just got to have a scoop of these gorgeous strawberries. Would you care for some dear?
Hallie: Oh, no thanks, can't. I-I'm allergic.
Marva Kulp, Sr.: Oh, that's too bad. How about you, dear, strawberries?
Annie: Oh, sorry, I wish I could, but I can't, I-I'm allergic.
Marva Kulp, Sr.: Yes, you just told me that over here. How'd you get over there? Well, first day at camp you'll have to excuse the old girl.
[Annie walks away]
Marva Kulp, Sr.: At least I'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers. Well, actually sugar in the salt shakers, but... now where did she get off to?
Hallie: Oh, no thanks, can't. I-I'm allergic.
Marva Kulp, Sr.: Oh, that's too bad. How about you, dear, strawberries?
Annie: Oh, sorry, I wish I could, but I can't, I-I'm allergic.
Marva Kulp, Sr.: Yes, you just told me that over here. How'd you get over there? Well, first day at camp you'll have to excuse the old girl.
[Annie walks away]
Marva Kulp, Sr.: At least I'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers. Well, actually sugar in the salt shakers, but... now where did she get off to?
Nick Parker: [after explaining to Elizabeth why they returned early from the camping trip] So, where's Chessie? I'm starving.
Elizabeth James: Well, she and Martin went off to a picnic around noon. Yesterday.
Nick Parker: [Impersonating Cary Grant] Really. Who would have thought. My nanny, your butler.
Elizabeth James: Well, she and Martin went off to a picnic around noon. Yesterday.
Nick Parker: [Impersonating Cary Grant] Really. Who would have thought. My nanny, your butler.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Don't you take that tone with me Mitch. I lambed you once!
[she tries to make a childish fist but it gets wrapped under her robe sleeve, so she pulls the sleeve down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Now stand back.
Mitch Evers: Oh Maggie, come on...
[he tries to grab her arm from behind but she elbows him instead and instinctively punches him in the eye]
Mitch Evers: Ow!
[covers his eye]
Mitch Evers: Why do you have to get so physical?
[mopes over to the couch and lies down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh, stop being such a big baby. Let me take a look at it.
[tries to look at his eye but he childishly won't let her]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You're acting worst than the twins.
[she tries to make a childish fist but it gets wrapped under her robe sleeve, so she pulls the sleeve down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Now stand back.
Mitch Evers: Oh Maggie, come on...
[he tries to grab her arm from behind but she elbows him instead and instinctively punches him in the eye]
Mitch Evers: Ow!
[covers his eye]
Mitch Evers: Why do you have to get so physical?
[mopes over to the couch and lies down]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh, stop being such a big baby. Let me take a look at it.
[tries to look at his eye but he childishly won't let her]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You're acting worst than the twins.
Zoe: [as the girls walk back to their cabin, Hallie is riding on Nicole's back] I swear, I heard that girl sneezing all the way across the mess hall this morning.
Hallie: [laughs, and then lets out a yawn] I'm so tired. I'm crawling back into bed, and sleeping until lunchtime.
Nicole: [lets Hallie off her back and stares in shock] That is not a possibility, babe.
Hallie: [shrugs] Why not?
Nicole: [pointing] That's why not!
Hallie: [looks in the direction that Nicole is pointing, and sees their cots are perched on the roof, as "Hail Brittania plays] No way!
Hallie: [laughs, and then lets out a yawn] I'm so tired. I'm crawling back into bed, and sleeping until lunchtime.
Nicole: [lets Hallie off her back and stares in shock] That is not a possibility, babe.
Hallie: [shrugs] Why not?
Nicole: [pointing] That's why not!
Hallie: [looks in the direction that Nicole is pointing, and sees their cots are perched on the roof, as "Hail Brittania plays] No way!
Mitch Evers: Would you mind putting on something decent?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I'm dressed perfectly decent.
Mitch Evers: Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Like we what?
Mitch Evers: Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I'm dressed perfectly decent.
Mitch Evers: Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Like we what?
Mitch Evers: Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!
Charles McKendrick: [Susan starts sniffing the coat he is wearing] My dear, what are you doing?
Susan Evers: Making a memory.
Charles McKendrick: Making a memory?
Susan Evers: All my life, when I'm quite grown-up I will always remember my grandfather and how he smelled of
[smells his jacket again]
Susan Evers: tobacco and peppermint.
Charles McKendrick: Smelled of tobacco and peppermint.
[starts chuckling]
Charles McKendrick: Well, I'll tell you what. I take the peppermint for my indigestion and as for the tobacco
[looks around]
Charles McKendrick: to make your grandmother mad.
Susan Evers: Making a memory.
Charles McKendrick: Making a memory?
Susan Evers: All my life, when I'm quite grown-up I will always remember my grandfather and how he smelled of
[smells his jacket again]
Susan Evers: tobacco and peppermint.
Charles McKendrick: Smelled of tobacco and peppermint.
[starts chuckling]
Charles McKendrick: Well, I'll tell you what. I take the peppermint for my indigestion and as for the tobacco
[looks around]
Charles McKendrick: to make your grandmother mad.
Vicky Robinson: You're a big girl now, Susan. You're old enough to understand that wonderful, delicate mystery that happens sometimes between a man and a woman.
Sharon McKendrick: I know what wonderful, delicate mystery Daddy sees in you. And I can't say I blame him there, either. You're very nicely put together.
Vicky Robinson: Your father underestimates you, I think.
Sharon McKendrick: I'm sure you won't, will you, Vicky?
Vicky Robinson: Susan, dear, you've had him to yourself all this time, and I can understand that suddenly to have another woman around, well, it's a tremendous intrusion. But all my life, it seemed, I've hoped and waited for someone like him: someone gentle and mature, rough-edged, but quick to laugh, someone understanding and wise. All the things that I've come to love and cherish in him.
Sharon McKendrick: Well, that's very refreshing.
Vicky Robinson: Why, dear?
Sharon McKendrick: Most girls just run after Daddy because he's so wealthy.
Vicky Robinson: [angrily] Are you inferring that I'd marry your father for his money?
Sharon McKendrick: If the shoe fits, wear it!
Vicky Robinson: Look, pet. I've tried to be friendly, but I'm going to marry your father, so you get used to the idea!
Sharon McKendrick: You wanna bet?
Vicky Robinson: Oh, honey, don't you play with the big girls. You'll be in way over your head.
Sharon McKendrick: I know what wonderful, delicate mystery Daddy sees in you. And I can't say I blame him there, either. You're very nicely put together.
Vicky Robinson: Your father underestimates you, I think.
Sharon McKendrick: I'm sure you won't, will you, Vicky?
Vicky Robinson: Susan, dear, you've had him to yourself all this time, and I can understand that suddenly to have another woman around, well, it's a tremendous intrusion. But all my life, it seemed, I've hoped and waited for someone like him: someone gentle and mature, rough-edged, but quick to laugh, someone understanding and wise. All the things that I've come to love and cherish in him.
Sharon McKendrick: Well, that's very refreshing.
Vicky Robinson: Why, dear?
Sharon McKendrick: Most girls just run after Daddy because he's so wealthy.
Vicky Robinson: [angrily] Are you inferring that I'd marry your father for his money?
Sharon McKendrick: If the shoe fits, wear it!
Vicky Robinson: Look, pet. I've tried to be friendly, but I'm going to marry your father, so you get used to the idea!
Sharon McKendrick: You wanna bet?
Vicky Robinson: Oh, honey, don't you play with the big girls. You'll be in way over your head.
Sharon McKendrick: [looks at Susan putting up a picture on the wall] Who's that?
Susan Evers: [turns to her surprised] Are you kidding? Ricky Nelson?
Sharon McKendrick: Oh, your boyfriend.
Susan Evers: [a choked laugh is forced out] I wish he was! You mean you've never heard of him? Where do ya come from? Outer space?
Susan Evers: [turns to her surprised] Are you kidding? Ricky Nelson?
Sharon McKendrick: Oh, your boyfriend.
Susan Evers: [a choked laugh is forced out] I wish he was! You mean you've never heard of him? Where do ya come from? Outer space?
Mitch Evers: Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [to brush it off] Ah...
Mitch Evers: No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Mitch?
Mitch Evers: What?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You've got stew all over you.
Mitch Evers: I don't care.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Go and wash it off.
[pause]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: What do you miss?
Mitch Evers: Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Why did you take so long to tell me?
Mitch Evers: I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I know.
Mitch Evers: You don't want that, do you?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: No Mitch.
[they kiss]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
Mitch Evers: Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Ok!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [to brush it off] Ah...
Mitch Evers: No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Mitch?
Mitch Evers: What?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You've got stew all over you.
Mitch Evers: I don't care.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Go and wash it off.
[pause]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: What do you miss?
Mitch Evers: Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Why did you take so long to tell me?
Mitch Evers: I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: I know.
Mitch Evers: You don't want that, do you?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: No Mitch.
[they kiss]
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
Mitch Evers: Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Ok!
Mitch Evers: [entering the dining room to see an empty table] Hey, uh, what happened to dinner?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': Oh, dinner's being served on the patio tonight.
Mitch Evers: Oh, whose idea is that?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': It's none of my nevermind. I don't say a word.
Mitch Evers: [turning to leave; deadpan] I know, you never say a word to anyone.
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': Oh, dinner's being served on the patio tonight.
Mitch Evers: Oh, whose idea is that?
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': It's none of my nevermind. I don't say a word.
Mitch Evers: [turning to leave; deadpan] I know, you never say a word to anyone.
Ursala, Camp Inch roomate: I know! We'll wait until she comes over here and when she's not looking we'll dump ants down her dress!
Betsy, Sharon's Camp Inch roommate: Where are we gonna find ants at night stupid?
Ursala, Camp Inch roomate: Ooo, just thinking about it makes me so mad I could just spit!
Betsy, Sharon's Camp Inch roommate: Where are we gonna find ants at night stupid?
Ursala, Camp Inch roomate: Ooo, just thinking about it makes me so mad I could just spit!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh darn!
Mitch Evers: What's the matter?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Well, I've got a wet dishcloth on and I put some knots in it. Open it for me!
Mitch Evers: Maggie, as long as everybody's apologizing, I think maybe I better do mine too. I mean about the other night, well, I didn't mean for it to sound like uh... I guess I'm not very good with the compliments what growing up out here with the cows...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh now, don't give me that old "growing up with the cows routine"! You handed me that years ago!
Mitch Evers: I did not!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You certainly did!
Mitch Evers: Well it worked didn't it? You liked it!
Mitch Evers: What's the matter?
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Well, I've got a wet dishcloth on and I put some knots in it. Open it for me!
Mitch Evers: Maggie, as long as everybody's apologizing, I think maybe I better do mine too. I mean about the other night, well, I didn't mean for it to sound like uh... I guess I'm not very good with the compliments what growing up out here with the cows...
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh now, don't give me that old "growing up with the cows routine"! You handed me that years ago!
Mitch Evers: I did not!
Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You certainly did!
Mitch Evers: Well it worked didn't it? You liked it!
Miss Inch: Congratulations. In the history of this camp, that was the most infamous, the most disgusting, the most revolting display of hooliganism we have ever had.
Miss Grunecker: Rolling around like hooligans in front of our guests.
Miss Inch: And worst of all, two sisters who should be setting a good example.
Susan Evers: We're not sisters!
Sharon McKendrick: I've never seen HER before in my life.
Miss Inch: They are! Aren't they?
Miss Grunecker: No ma'am. Just look-alikes.
Miss Inch: An amazing resemblance.
Miss Grunecker: Rolling around like hooligans in front of our guests.
Miss Inch: And worst of all, two sisters who should be setting a good example.
Susan Evers: We're not sisters!
Sharon McKendrick: I've never seen HER before in my life.
Miss Inch: They are! Aren't they?
Miss Grunecker: No ma'am. Just look-alikes.
Miss Inch: An amazing resemblance.
