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In the Far East, Alex O'Connell, the son of famed mummy fighters Rick and Evy O'Connell, unearths the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity cursed by a witch centuries ago.
Rick O'Connell: I've put down more mummies in my time. Alex O'Connell: You've killed one mummy, dad. Rick O'Connell: Yeah! Same mummy. *Twice*!
Jonathan Carnahan: [about Lin] She speaks Yeti?
[from trailer] Jonathan Carnahan: I hate mummies. They never play fair.
[from trailer] Jonathan Carnahan: [to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets!
[from trailer] [stopping a car before throwing the man out] Rick O'Connell: Whoa whoa whoa. Sorry pal, there's a mummy on the loose.
Rick O'Connell: I. Really. Hate. Mummies. Evelyn O'Connell: I think the feeling is mutual.
Mad Dog Maguire: When this is over, me and my boys get free drinks! Jonathan Carnahan: You can have the whole damn bar! I'm getting the hell out of China!
Jonathan Carnahan: Here's to you, princess! And Imhotep. May the bugger actually stay dead!
Jonathan Carnahan: Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!
Woman in Bookstore: [This dialog - in an apparent nod and wink to the change of actress for the character from prior films in "The Mummy" series - accompanies the first appearance of Evelyn O'Connell] Mrs. O'Connell, is it true that the Scarlet O' Kiefe character is based on you? Evelyn O'Connell: No. I can honestly say she is a completely different person. [... as the camera reveals her face to show that it is Maria Bello - not Rachel Weisz - playing the role]
Lin: I'll go after the Emperor. Alex O'Connell: Trust me, I've got a little more experience with mummies. Lin: [Pulling out a dagger] And I have the only weapon that can kill him! Alex O'Connell: Okay, I'll cover you! Let's go!
Jonathan Carnahan: You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch.
Mad Dog Maguire: I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but I was too cheap to buy any. [laughs] Rick O'Connell: [laughs] Why am I laughing?
Evelyn O'Connell: [speaking of Rick fishing] At least you've got a hobby that doesn't involve guns. [takes a bite of the fish]
Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die. Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.
Alex O'Connell: When I saw you lying there Dad, I've never been so scared in my life. Rick O'Connell: That makes two of us. Alex O'Connell: You're not supposed to die. I mean you're Richard O'Connell, right? You get beat up, you get tossed around, but you're always standing there in the end. I never really thought of the world with out you.
[from trailer] Zijuan: [about Han] When the emperor built the great wall, he buried his enemies underneath it. I will call them to battle once more.
Mad Dog Maguire: [seeing a dragon flying below them] Rick, should I give up drinking? Rick O'Connell: No.
[from trailer] [upon seeing an army of the undead] Rick O'Connell: So these are the good undead guys, right?
Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god awful smell? Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.
Jonathan Carnahan: [Trying to get Alex away from Mad Dog's girl] Alex, that woman is a tomb in which many pharaohs have laid in.
Alex O'Connell: I dug you up and I'm gonna put you down.
Rick O'Connell: Time to go to plan B. Blow up the tower. Jonathan Carnahan: I'm actually a little concerned about plan B. Can't we go straight to plan C? Rick O'Connell: Make it go bang. I'll cover ya.
Jonathan Carnahan: [during a chase scene] Where's Rick? Evelyn O'Connell: Where do you think?
Mad Dog Maguire: Off so soon? Jonathan Carnahan: Well I just don't like goodbyes. You won't say anything will ya? Mad Dog Maguire: Well, there are outstanding bills. Jonathan Carnahan: Here. [TAKES MONEY FROM POCKET, HANDS IT TO MADDOG] Jonathan Carnahan: Have it all. I'm off to South America. Hot babes, beaches, and no mummies. Mad Dog Maguire: [GESTURES TO WICKER CAT CARRIER IN JONATHAN'S HANDS] I didn't know you own a cat. Jonathan Carnahan: Adverci amigo.
Rick O'Connell: Here we go again!
Evelyn O'Connell: [TAKES BREAK FROM KILLING UNDEAD ARMY] Any regrets darling? Rick O'Connell: None. Not ever.
Jonathan Carnahan: As much as I want to stay boyishly handsome forever, Shang-ri La is a crock. Rick O'Connell: That's what you use to say about mummies Jon and you did pretty well off it. Jonathan Carnahan: Good point.
Lin: TO YETI. Please, I need your help. These soldiers are evil.
Jonathan Carnahan: [TALKS TO YAK] IT's not easy being me, but then again I don't suppose its easy being you isn't it old girl? If I met a girl like you Geraldine you know hard working. Doesn't say much. Your'e a little bit hairy but I don't mind that.
Mad Dog Maguire: Any self respecting pilot would land in the valley but since I don't have any self respect so I'll put you down halfway up the mountain.
Rick O'Connell: What did you do now? Rob an armory? ALEX OPENS TRUCK AND REVEALS ASSORTED GRENADES AND GUNS.
Alex O'Connell: Then we can finish him off with Lin's dagger. Rick O'Connell: Look, I'm sorry; I just don't put much faith in your girlfriend's magic dagger. Alex O'Connell: Okay Dad, she is not my girlfriend. Rick O'Connell: You say that now but I still don't trust her. Alex O'Connell: Well I do so you should trust my judgement okay?
Zijuan: I was wrong to involve you in my revenge. Lin: No Mother, I would do anything for you.
Rick O'Connell: [TO DRAGOM EMPEROR] Enough tricks. Where's your honor? Fight like a man!
Jonathan Carnahan: CRAWLING THROUGH SNOW. Why do I always have to be the one to save the day?
Evelyn O'Connell: [TALKING ABOUT LIN] She's certainly managed to enchant you. Come on Alex, you obviously like her. Alex O'Connell: Mom, the thin mountain air is clearly messing with your head.
Rick O'Connell: There it is! We found Shrang-ri-la. [AS THEY ROUND THE SNOW LEDGE]
Emperor: Today you awake to a world in the grip of chaos and corruption. I will restore order . I will retake what is mine. I will crush any idea of freedom. I will slaughter without mercy. I will conquer without compassion. I will now lead you past the great wall. Once you cross, you will be indestructible.
Alex O'Connell: Good going. You've raised another mummy. Jonathan Carnahan: And this bugger's got super powers.
Rick O'Connell: Alex? TURNS AROUND TO SEE ALEX IS GONE. Where'd he go? Evelyn O'Connell: Where do you think? Rick O'Connell: LOOKS THROUGH BINOCULARS TO SEE ALEX RUNNING THROUGH TENTS TO FIND LIN.
Evelyn O'Connell: Whatever secrets she's hiding, I just don't want to see you get hurt. Alex O'Connell: I appreciate that, but you know I've had my fair share experiences with the opposite sex. Evelyn O'Connell: Really? Uhh, how many experiences are we talking about? Alex O'Connell: Uhh well... uhh you shouldn't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to okay, Mom? Evelyn O'Connell: Right.
Evelyn O'Connell: There's something incredibly romantic about vanquishing the undead.
Emperor: I raised you for one purpose: to enforce my will on the entire world!
Evelyn O'Connell: Kiss me. Rick O'Connell: You don't have to ask me twice. [KISSES EVELYN]
Alex O'Connell: Besides your'e not my type. Lin: Of course not. You don't like a woman who can knock you on your backside. Alex O'Connell: Expression is kick my ass. For the record you didn't.
Alex O'Connell: People can live an entire lifetime in one look. I watch my parents do it every day.
Rick O'Connell: ARROW PIERCES HIS BLUE T-SHIRT SLEEVE AND WEDGES INTO A ROCK. Hey, that was my favorite blue shirt. Evelyn O'Connell: REMOVES THE ARROW FROM THE ROCK & THROWS IT ASIDE. I've always hated that shirt.
Jonathan Carnahan: That's a diamond. I could use a diamond like that.
[from trailer] Alex O'Connell: Good going dad. You've raised another mummy. In his tomb, it said he had control of the five elements.
Evelyn O'Connell: I'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced. Who are you exactly? Lin: My name is Lin. My family has watched over the Emperors tomb for centuries. The Emperor cannot be killed unless he is stabbed through the heart with this. [draws dagger] Lin: My mother put a curse on it long ago. Evelyn O'Connell: [nods, smiling] . Mmm-hmm.
Jonathan Carnahan: LIGHTS DYNAMTIE WIRE. Yes I did it! LOOKS UP AT TOWER LACED WITH DYNAMITE STICKS. Holy mother... time for a retreat... TURNS TO RUN & STUMBLES AT YETI'S FEET. LOOKS AT YETI, POINTS TO HIMSELF & THEN THE YETI. I'm on your team! I'm on your team.