The Last House on the Left Quotes
A pair of teenage girls are headed to a rock concert for one's birthday. While trying to score marijuana in the city, the girls are kidnapped by a gang of psychotic convicts.
Mari: The leaves are really beautiful.
Phyllis Stone: Yup, they're really starting to change. I guess winter's comin' on!
Mari: Yup, Hey! I changed this winter!
Phyllis Stone: What do you mean you changed?
Mari: I mean my breasts filled out!
[Phyllis laughs]
Mari: I mean they were nothing last summer!
Phyllis Stone: I didn't know you last summer!
Mari: Well, they have!
Phyllis Stone: Well, congratulations!
Phyllis Stone: Yup, they're really starting to change. I guess winter's comin' on!
Mari: Yup, Hey! I changed this winter!
Phyllis Stone: What do you mean you changed?
Mari: I mean my breasts filled out!
[Phyllis laughs]
Mari: I mean they were nothing last summer!
Phyllis Stone: I didn't know you last summer!
Mari: Well, they have!
Phyllis Stone: Well, congratulations!
Estelle Collingwood: Are you folks on vacation?
Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.
Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.
Krug Stillo: Insurance.
Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.
Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.
Krug Stillo: Insurance.
Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
Krug: [to John] What are the odds, man? Of course your little girl had a lot to do with it. You should be proud. How'd you make us, anyway? Did my fucking kid rat us out? That's it, isn't it? My fucking kid! Figured out who you were and blabbered his brains. Hey, by the way, y'all did a bang up job on my brother. He is really fucking dead down there!
Justin: [to Mari] Sorry, they weren't supposed to be back.
Krug: What? That's your excuse?
Justin: Sorry.
Krug: [sitting next to Justin] Justin, you gotta start putting other people's needs ahead of your own. You knew not to bring anybody back here, but you did it anyway, didn't you?
Justin: Yeah, because...
Krug: [imitating Justin] You guys weren't supposed to be here! Blah blah blah blah. But you did it. It can't be undone. Now you got to take responsibility for that action. It's as simple as that. You know how we do that?
Krug: What? That's your excuse?
Justin: Sorry.
Krug: [sitting next to Justin] Justin, you gotta start putting other people's needs ahead of your own. You knew not to bring anybody back here, but you did it anyway, didn't you?
Justin: Yeah, because...
Krug: [imitating Justin] You guys weren't supposed to be here! Blah blah blah blah. But you did it. It can't be undone. Now you got to take responsibility for that action. It's as simple as that. You know how we do that?
Newscaster: The daring daylight escape of the two convicted murderers, dope-pushers, and rapists cost the lives of two prison guards, and surprisingly, the life of a German Shepard. According to eye-witness reports, the animal, which was set after the two fleeing men, was kicked to death by a young animal-like woman who leaped from the get-away car. The alleged driver of the car was Junior Stillo. Junior Stillo is the illegitimate son of the leader of the two escapees, Krug Stillo, who was serving a life sentence for the 1966 triple-slaying of a priest and two nuns. Krug Stillo is reputed to have hooked his own son on heroin to control the youngster's life. The man is armed, and considered extremely dangerous. The second escaped convict is identified as Fred Weasel Podowski, who has a long police record for child molesting, peeping tom-ism, and assault with a deadly weapon. The three men were accompanied in their getaway by an unknown woman, who's described only as young, strong, and animal-like. Police believe the four may still be in the New York City area, but expect them to try to leave the state in the next 48 hours.
John Collingwood: We are going to get her to a hospital. Okay, we are going to do this.
Emma Collingwood: They're still here. What if they come over here?
John Collingwood: I know. You're right. Which means we gotta be ready for anything. We have to be ready to do anything. Do you hear me?
Emma Collingwood: We don't have a car. I mean the nearest house is six miles from here. How are we...?
John Collingwood: By land. Six miles by land. Okay, we are going to do this. We'll get through it. We are going to do it.
Emma Collingwood: They're still here. What if they come over here?
John Collingwood: I know. You're right. Which means we gotta be ready for anything. We have to be ready to do anything. Do you hear me?
Emma Collingwood: We don't have a car. I mean the nearest house is six miles from here. How are we...?
John Collingwood: By land. Six miles by land. Okay, we are going to do this. We'll get through it. We are going to do it.
John Collingwood: You know, you should probably just sleep here tonight.
Krug: Oh, well, no. We couldn't do that.
John Collingwood: I don't think you have much choice.
Krug: We just don't want to impose, is all.
Emma Collingwood: Well it's really not a problem. We have a guest house, so...
Krug: [putting his arm around Justin] Well whatever you think. Whatever's easiest.
Francis: Yeah, we're very easy.
Krug: Oh, well, no. We couldn't do that.
John Collingwood: I don't think you have much choice.
Krug: We just don't want to impose, is all.
Emma Collingwood: Well it's really not a problem. We have a guest house, so...
Krug: [putting his arm around Justin] Well whatever you think. Whatever's easiest.
Francis: Yeah, we're very easy.
Paige: So Justin, my newfound friend, are you from a really big city?
Justin: Uh, no, I'm from all over.
Paige: All over?
Justin: My dad and uncle hustle around a lot, so...
Paige: What do they do?
Justin: All sorts of things. You know, I'm kind of out of the loop.
Mari Collingwood: Um, where's your mom?
Justin: [after a long pause] She's dead.
Mari Collingwood: I'm sorry.
Justin: It's alright.
Mari Collingwood: When did she... die?
Justin: It was a while ago.
Paige: Probably enough death talk. Do you want to move on to a happier subject?
Mari Collingwood: Sure.
Justin: [to Mari] Someone die?
Mari Collingwood: My brother, about a year ago.
Justin: What was his name?
Mari Collingwood: Ben.
Justin: [after long pause] Sorry.
Justin: Uh, no, I'm from all over.
Paige: All over?
Justin: My dad and uncle hustle around a lot, so...
Paige: What do they do?
Justin: All sorts of things. You know, I'm kind of out of the loop.
Mari Collingwood: Um, where's your mom?
Justin: [after a long pause] She's dead.
Mari Collingwood: I'm sorry.
Justin: It's alright.
Mari Collingwood: When did she... die?
Justin: It was a while ago.
Paige: Probably enough death talk. Do you want to move on to a happier subject?
Mari Collingwood: Sure.
Justin: [to Mari] Someone die?
Mari Collingwood: My brother, about a year ago.
Justin: What was his name?
Mari Collingwood: Ben.
Justin: [after long pause] Sorry.
Krug: [upon seeing Justin aiming a gun at him] What are you doing?
Justin: Ending this.
Krug: Well you sure picked a hell of a time to grow some balls. Glad to see you too. Now, look. I'm not mad, alright? Just don't do anything stupid.
[Justin pulls the trigger, but the gun is out of bullets]
Krug: [knocking gun away] My son. I loved you. I took care of you!
[stabs Justin in stomach with fire poker]
Justin: [hurt] Loved?
Krug: [covering Justin's mouth] You don't get to talk now!
Justin: Fuck you!
Justin: Ending this.
Krug: Well you sure picked a hell of a time to grow some balls. Glad to see you too. Now, look. I'm not mad, alright? Just don't do anything stupid.
[Justin pulls the trigger, but the gun is out of bullets]
Krug: [knocking gun away] My son. I loved you. I took care of you!
[stabs Justin in stomach with fire poker]
Justin: [hurt] Loved?
Krug: [covering Justin's mouth] You don't get to talk now!
Justin: Fuck you!
Justin: Can I get a pack of cigarettes?
Paige: Can I get some ID?
Justin: Can you just give me a pass?
Paige: Justin, I would if I ruled the world, but...
Justin: What if you help me, I help you?
Paige: And how are you going to help me?
Justin: Look, you know, I've got some premium grade-A shit back at the motel.
Paige: Really?
Justin: Yeah. You can see for yourself.
Paige: Can I get some ID?
Justin: Can you just give me a pass?
Paige: Justin, I would if I ruled the world, but...
Justin: What if you help me, I help you?
Paige: And how are you going to help me?
Justin: Look, you know, I've got some premium grade-A shit back at the motel.
Paige: Really?
Justin: Yeah. You can see for yourself.
[last lines]
John Collingwood: Hi.
Krug: What is this? I can't move.
John Collingwood: You're paralyzed from the neck down.
[shows knife]
John Collingwood: I didn't have any rope, or duct tape.
Krug: Hey, what are you doing? Doc?
[John puts Krug's head in microwave]
Krug: What the fuck are you doing?
John Collingwood: [calmly] You're going to be fine.
[John turns on microwave and walks away]
Krug: [weakly] Wait... hey... wait.
John Collingwood: Hi.
Krug: What is this? I can't move.
John Collingwood: You're paralyzed from the neck down.
[shows knife]
John Collingwood: I didn't have any rope, or duct tape.
Krug: Hey, what are you doing? Doc?
[John puts Krug's head in microwave]
Krug: What the fuck are you doing?
John Collingwood: [calmly] You're going to be fine.
[John turns on microwave and walks away]
Krug: [weakly] Wait... hey... wait.
[first lines]
Morton: [telling joke to Giles] So the next week, he's even hornier. And this time, he's got twenty bucks instead of ten. He goes back to the whorehouse, he slaps down the twenty, and tells the madam he needs to get off, but he ain't going to screw no goddamn chicken this time. She says it still ain't much, but she can help. She tells him to go to the room at the top of the stairs. This time there's just a bunch of guys jerking off, but one of the jerk off guys assures him "oh hey, it's cool, it's cool" and he waves him over to this whole toilet they're all looking through...
Krug: Oh, can we stop please? I really gotta take a piss.
Morton: Fuck you.
Morton: [telling joke to Giles] So the next week, he's even hornier. And this time, he's got twenty bucks instead of ten. He goes back to the whorehouse, he slaps down the twenty, and tells the madam he needs to get off, but he ain't going to screw no goddamn chicken this time. She says it still ain't much, but she can help. She tells him to go to the room at the top of the stairs. This time there's just a bunch of guys jerking off, but one of the jerk off guys assures him "oh hey, it's cool, it's cool" and he waves him over to this whole toilet they're all looking through...
Krug: Oh, can we stop please? I really gotta take a piss.
Morton: Fuck you.
[first lines]
Postman: [to dog] Hello, Cassie! Hiya, girl! Hello there! Now, let's see.
[looks through mail]
Postman: Ah, it looks like Mari's getting cards from half the civilized world. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. You'd think she's the only kid to reach the age of 17. Of course she is probably the prettiest piece I've ever seen.
Postman: [to dog] Hello, Cassie! Hiya, girl! Hello there! Now, let's see.
[looks through mail]
Postman: Ah, it looks like Mari's getting cards from half the civilized world. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. You'd think she's the only kid to reach the age of 17. Of course she is probably the prettiest piece I've ever seen.
Krug: So, do you guys live here permanently?
Emma Collingwood: Oh, no. We actually live in the city.
Sadie: How many houses do you have?
Emma Collingwood: [uncomfortable] So what are you guys doing out here anyways? This is kind of in the middle of nowhere. Are you on a family vacation? Or...
Krug: Well it's kind of embarrassing, actually. My dad used to take Francis and me to this lake every summer; do some fishing, go camping. Now that he's gone, those memories are all I really have left of him. Basically I'm just trying to do the same thing for Justin here.
Emma Collingwood: I think that's important. It's nice making memories.
Krug: [laughing] Don't know if I want to remember today.
Emma Collingwood: You might. You never know. You're all safe. You're together. That's what counts.
Krug: Amen, Emma. Amen.
Emma Collingwood: Oh, no. We actually live in the city.
Sadie: How many houses do you have?
Emma Collingwood: [uncomfortable] So what are you guys doing out here anyways? This is kind of in the middle of nowhere. Are you on a family vacation? Or...
Krug: Well it's kind of embarrassing, actually. My dad used to take Francis and me to this lake every summer; do some fishing, go camping. Now that he's gone, those memories are all I really have left of him. Basically I'm just trying to do the same thing for Justin here.
Emma Collingwood: I think that's important. It's nice making memories.
Krug: [laughing] Don't know if I want to remember today.
Emma Collingwood: You might. You never know. You're all safe. You're together. That's what counts.
Krug: Amen, Emma. Amen.
