The Fan Quotes
An all star baseball player becomes the unhealthy focus of a down on his luck salesman.
Gil Renard: Don't get greedy, son. Don't get greedy. What we need now is a sacrifice. A winning team has to know how to manufacture runs. Coop taught me that. He used to say the most beautiful play in the game is a sacrifice fly, and you know why?
Richie Renard: 'Cause you give yourself up for the team?
Gil Renard: And it doesn't even count against your average. That's why baseball's better than life - it's fair.
Richie Renard: 'Cause you give yourself up for the team?
Gil Renard: And it doesn't even count against your average. That's why baseball's better than life - it's fair.
Bobby Rayburn: At least you're not one of those diehard, you know, baseball fans, you know, really.
Gil Renard: Why's that?
Bobby Rayburn: Because those guys are losers.
Gil Renard: Aren't the fans what it's all about?
Bobby Rayburn: Sheee-it! I'll tell you something, man, the fans are like women. When you're hitting, they love you, and when you're not, they just as soon spit on you as look at you!
Gil Renard: Why is that?
Bobby Rayburn: Because they don't know whether you're the same person when you're hitting or not.
Gil Renard: Why's that?
Bobby Rayburn: Because those guys are losers.
Gil Renard: Aren't the fans what it's all about?
Bobby Rayburn: Sheee-it! I'll tell you something, man, the fans are like women. When you're hitting, they love you, and when you're not, they just as soon spit on you as look at you!
Gil Renard: Why is that?
Bobby Rayburn: Because they don't know whether you're the same person when you're hitting or not.
Garrity: I want your reorder book. Outstanding commissions will be forwarded.
Gil Renard: [Gil realizes he has just been fired. He does a slow take] Humph! My father started this business.
Garrity: Look, perfection and principles, they don't belong in business, not now or then. As a friend of your father's...
Gil Renard: [angrily] 'As a friend of my father's'? Keep your mouth shut! You know nothing about my father!
[he sits]
Gil Renard: He made this business!
Garrity: Your father made beautiful knives. San Francisco made this business.
Gil Renard: Yeah, by ripping him off!
Garrity: He wasn't a business man, Gil... and neither are you... That's the bottom line.
Gil Renard: [Gil realizes he has just been fired. He does a slow take] Humph! My father started this business.
Garrity: Look, perfection and principles, they don't belong in business, not now or then. As a friend of your father's...
Gil Renard: [angrily] 'As a friend of my father's'? Keep your mouth shut! You know nothing about my father!
[he sits]
Gil Renard: He made this business!
Garrity: Your father made beautiful knives. San Francisco made this business.
Gil Renard: Yeah, by ripping him off!
Garrity: He wasn't a business man, Gil... and neither are you... That's the bottom line.
Gil Renard: You sure I can't interest you in any of this?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: You got any kayaks?
Gil Renard: You gotta be outta' your fuckin' mind, "kayaks"?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: I could use kayaks.
Gil Renard: Stanley, what the fuck do kayaks have to do with knives?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: Never mind.
Gil Renard: You fuckin' asshole, "kayaks" you're asking me about, when I'm asking you about knives?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: Yeah. Ok, I understand, sir. Thank you for coming in.
Gil Renard: How about you take some kayaks and stick 'em up your fuckin' ass, ya moron.
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: You got any kayaks?
Gil Renard: You gotta be outta' your fuckin' mind, "kayaks"?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: I could use kayaks.
Gil Renard: Stanley, what the fuck do kayaks have to do with knives?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: Never mind.
Gil Renard: You fuckin' asshole, "kayaks" you're asking me about, when I'm asking you about knives?
Jefferson Sporting Goods Clerk: Yeah. Ok, I understand, sir. Thank you for coming in.
Gil Renard: How about you take some kayaks and stick 'em up your fuckin' ass, ya moron.
Doctor: [voice on the radio] ... and so in a Freudian sense, Jewel, the catcher is the father, and the son is the pitcher.
Jewel Stern: [voice on the radio] Wow, that's fascinating, Doc. Let me ask you a question. What does that bat and ball represent?
Doctor: Well, the the bat speaks for itself, of course, and the ball is the ejaculate.
Jewel Stern: [in a dismissive tone] Well, thanks for calling, Doc. Who do we have on Line Two, Bernie?
Jewel Stern: [voice on the radio] Wow, that's fascinating, Doc. Let me ask you a question. What does that bat and ball represent?
Doctor: Well, the the bat speaks for itself, of course, and the ball is the ejaculate.
Jewel Stern: [in a dismissive tone] Well, thanks for calling, Doc. Who do we have on Line Two, Bernie?
Jewel Stern: You got Bobby Rayburn on the line yet?
[Technician shakes his head no]
Jewel Stern: Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
Broadcast Technician: Three time National League MVP?
Jewel Stern: And that gives him the right to fuck up my show?
Manny: [on the other side] Hello, I've got Rayburn on the line here.
Broadcast Technician: We got him, and go.
[Technician shakes his head no]
Jewel Stern: Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
Broadcast Technician: Three time National League MVP?
Jewel Stern: And that gives him the right to fuck up my show?
Manny: [on the other side] Hello, I've got Rayburn on the line here.
Broadcast Technician: We got him, and go.
