The Fairly OddParents

The Fairly OddParents Quotes

After being tortured and humiliated by his babysitter, a ten year old boy is put under the care of two fairy godparents, who can grant him almost any wish, which leads to dire consequences.

Dad Turner: Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
[Timmy throws a water balloon at Francis, which misses him and ends up hitting someone in France]
The French: We surrender!
Timmy Turner: Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want.
Cosmo: So can I, I'm just polite.
Timmy Turner: Hey guys, what's new?
[Cosmo lights candles under water]
Wanda: The laws of physics.
Wanda: [to Timmy, who has wished that he lived at the circus] You can't stay a carny forever, Timmy.
Cosmo: Yeah, you don't have the experience! You've never even been to prison.
[angrily]
Dad Turner: Oooh... Dinkelburgs!
Cosmo: I married the smart one.
Wanda: I married the... well he's cute, right?
Cosmo: [after fairy world blows up] I regret nothing!
Norm the Genie: [about Canada]
[darkly]
Norm the Genie: They've had it too good for too long.
Timmy Turner: Note to self: Never break up with a girl in the Violent Gardening Tool section.
Timmy Turner: I'm big, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood!
Cosmo: Just like The IRS.
Cosmo: Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.
Timmy Turner: I'm huge, I hurt people, and I'm misunderstood!
Cosmo: Just like the IRS!
Wanda: Awwwww, Goat Love!
Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love around.
Timmy Turner: This is great! A world without girls. I can do whatever I want!
Timmy Turner: [farts] I'm free!
Cosmo: [Cosmo sniffs the air] Wow, freedom stinks.
Timmy Turner: I wish I could leave this room inconspicuously.
[Cosmo turns his desk legs into rockets. Timmy blasts through the ceiling]
Timmy Turner: Ahhhhhh!
Wanda: [to Cosmo] It means without being noticed.
Cosmo: Well, if he wasn't screaming, he wouldn've been noticed.
Cosmo: [to Timmy] What did New Zealand ever do to you?
Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cosmo: But three rights make a left, and now it's time for the show!
Denzel Crocker: [shows painting] And here's another painting... The Scream.
Timmy Turner: Why is he screaming?
Denzel Crocker: Because he was wrong! And he got an F!
[unrolls bottom of painting to reveal a table next to the screaming person, with an F on it]
Denzel Crocker: Like you!
[sticks a paper marked F on Timmy's hair]
Cosmo: [Cosmo as gelatin] Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.
Chester's Dad: [crying] Without that tooth, you look just like your momma.
Vicky: All right twerp, time for bed!
Timmy Turner: But it's only six-o-four!
Vicky: Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED!
[one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock changes to six-o-five]
Cosmo: Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!
Wanda: [chasing Vicky through space] The force is strong with this one.
Cosmo: Luke, I am your father. I always wanted to say that.
Timmy Turner: This may sound cliche, but you've gotta throw my severed head into the clearance bin!
[after going back in time]
Timmy: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages!
Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged!
[Poofs into a middle aged man]
Cosmo: YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.
Cosmo: Not Vicky.
Wanda: Icky with a V.
Wanda: You made your dad cry.
Cosmo: Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that.
Cosmo: Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!
Cosmo: Apparently, another thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.
[after being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy]
Wandisimo: No. I am too sexy to eat.
Mom Turner: Losing our son was the best thing to ever happen to us!
Dad Turner: We have a son?
[repeated line]
Denzel Crocker: [shouts] Fairly godparents!
Jorgen von Strangle: For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy.
Wandisimo: This I can live with.
Cosmo: I don't get it. If you're not married to her, why is she trying to kill you?
Timmy Turner: Boring conversation. Can't focus.
Dad: Good thing I landed on this nice, soft mom!
Dad Turner: It's deserted and lonely, just like my childhood!
Cosmo: Now will you hold me?
Dad Turner: [to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready] Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs are Dinkelburging!
Principal Waxelplax: [after Timmy has won the election and the kids have come back from getting food poisoning from cake] So, Timmy, what do you say to having all the responsibilities of president?
Timmy Turner: Piece of cake!
[all kids get sick and their faces turn green]
Dad: Egad.
[Cosmo has gotten breast implants]
Cosmo: I'm keeping them.
Timmy Turner: Awesome- boys fighting over me!
Wandisimo: Can it be? Wanda the love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who I lost when he married you so you'd stay lost to me?
[the holiday mascots are talking about what they do]
Cupid: Well, I make kids fall in love.
Kids: EW.
Cupid: Point taken.
Cosmo: If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.
Timmy Turner: And this would be news to her *how*?
Denzel Crocker: Curse this obsolete one month old technology!
Denzel Crocker: Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!
Dad Turner: [Mr. Turner is being eaten by a dragon] It looks and feels like I'm getting real third degree burns! Ow! I mean, neat!
Cosmo: The good news is I found my spleen!
Timmy Turner: That's a rare steak.
Cosmo: In that case, I'm taking it back. I ordered my spleen medium rare.
Mom Turner: [Timmy is eating ceral like a dog] He sure is hungry.
Dad Turner: No, no, that's just the way all kids eat cereal now; face first. I'm hip!
[Starts to eat his cereal like Timmy]
Timmy Turner: [School bus arrives] School bus! School bus! Chase! Chase! Chase! Chase!
Dad Turner: Wow, does Timmy love school or what?
[Sticks face into cup of hot coffee]
Dad Turner: Oww, hot! It doesn't work with hot!
Cosmo: That's what got me on probation.
Cosmo: [because Wanda is dressed as a pancreas]
[grinning]
Cosmo: You can be removed?
Wanda: Uh-oh... my "Cosmo is going to make Timmy dead" sense is tingling.
Sanjay: [Timmy shows up to save everyone from Unwish Island] I'm having one of those dreams where Timmy saves me again!... Where's your white horse?
Timmy Turner: Wow, my mom as a kid.
Young Dad Turner: Yeah... and she's got a beautiful name. It's...
[a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young Dad]
Young Dad Turner: ...but everybody calls her Mom.
Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's trouble afoot - I mean, a-chin!
Nega-Chin: Adam West's waistband!
Chip Skylark: [about to faint] Tuesday's... apple sauce... day...
Timmy Turner: [being embraced by Vicky] Urk... Oxygen... Darkness...
Jorgen von Strangle: What in the name of my bulging tripceps is going on?
Timmy Turner: [reading the title of a book that Dad Turner has just handed him] The Stupid Dad's Guide For Teaching His Weak and Defenseless Son Kung Fu?
Wanda: Don't you think you should be looking for your mom, dad, friends Chester and AJ, and back-up friends Sanjay and Elmer?
Principal Waxelplax: CROCKER!
Dad Turner: Yay, I'm unemployed!
Announcer: [to Timmy, who is dressed in costume] You might want to take off the maid outfit; it's pretty creepy.
Chester McBadbat: You replaced me with an actor with better teeth!
A.J.: And more hair!
Sanjay: And a well-oiled chest!
[pause]
Sanjay: What? Am I the only one who noticed?
Wanda: Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other.
Timmy Turner: What's the other?
Wanda, Cosmo: Timmy!
Wanda: He thinks everything is funny. Watch.
[turns to Cosmo]
Wanda: Pudding.
Cosmo: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.
Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.
Timmy Turner: Feel better now?
Chip Skylark: Yeah. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.
Denzel Crocker: [Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!
[ducks behind his desk]
Denzel Crocker: HELP!
Sanjay: [dazed look at Timmy, as if he was coming onto him] I'll see you in my next dream.
Mom Turner: Timmy, you know how your dad gets around people who are on money.
Timmy Turner: Man, that was one tough montage.
Mayor: I hate not being the goat.
Trixie Tang: You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.
Vicky: I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am.
Wanda: [Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library] Oh, Hillary! How did you put up with it?
Cosmo: What's wrong with being naked in public?
Timmy Turner: May I *please* have my ball back?
Dr. Bender: What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... NO! HAHAHA
Timmy Turner: It's fun and destructive. It's funstructive.
[Mr.Crocker gives Cosmo and Wanda coffee. The two of them start acting hyper and jump up and down]
Cosmo: This coffee is great!
[shouts]
Cosmo: Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Where do they get this stuff?
Denzel Crocker: Columbia.
Wanda: Oh! We should go there!
Mom Turner: You just need to be more secure in your masculinity - like me.
Wanda: Timmy, you can't have both brains and brawn. You have to pick just one.
Cosmo: Or do what I did. Pick neither.
Jorgen von Strangle: It's time for some fairy-oke!

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