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The life and times of Virgil Starkwell, inept bank robber.
Louise: He is always very depressed. I think that if he'd been a successful criminal, he would have felt better. You know, he never made the 'ten most wanted' list. It's very unfair voting; it's who you know.
Virgil: Nobody wears beige to a bank robbery!
Bank Teller #1: Does this look like "gub" or "gun"? Bank Teller #2: Gun. See? But what does "abt" mean? Virgil: It's "act". A-C-T. Act natural. Please put fifty thousand dollars into this bag and act natural. Bank Teller #1: Oh, I see. This is a holdup?
Virgil: After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her, and after half an hour I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
Louise: He'd have the gang over for a meeting and I'd put out a little tray of pretzels and bullets... I had to. He's my husband.
Boardinghouse Roommate: One day he told me he was a gynecologist. But he couldn't speak no foreign languages. Who's he kiddin'?
The Narrator: Food on a chain gang is scarce and not very nourishing. The men get one hot meal a day: a bowl of steam.
The Narrator: Frankie Wolf, wanted by authorities for dancing with a mailman.
[last lines] Virgil: Do you know if it's raining outside?
Virgil: **after another group of robbers enters the bank** "O.K., show of hands. How many people want to be robbed by *this* group?"
