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A modern retelling of Snow White set against students in their freshman year of college in the greek system.
Tyler: Who are you Sydney White? You throw a football like Matt Leinart, fearlessly conquer fraternity bathrooms, and clean up nice to boot. Sydney White: Well, I'm more of a Peyton Manning. Leinart's a lefty. Tyler: Marry me.
Sydney White: Green and White. Rachel Witchburn: Wrong. Emerald and Pearl Sydney White: I'm sorry. I'm still learning how to speak priss.
Rachel Witchburn: [to Dinky] Dinky, we're over there. [to Sydney] Rachel Witchburn: Hi, Sydney. Nice to find some people you fit in with. Sydney White: It is nice, isn't it? If only there were a place where a superficial, materialistic bitch could fit in. Oh wait, there is.
Rachel Witchburn: Sydney, what are the Kappa colors? Sydney White: Green and White. Rachel Witchburn: Emerald and Pearl. Sydney White: Sorry, I'm still learning to speak priss.
Rachel Witchburn: I'm the last person you wanna mess with. Sydney White: No. You're the first.
Sororitiy Sisters: Here comes the Kappa, Queen of the row. She's hot, She's cool, She ain't no hoe. She's got style, She's got class Rachel Witchburn: Gucci... Sororitiy Sisters: And from behind a kicking... Rachel Witchburn: Prada... Sororitiy Sisters: [slaps butt] Rachel Witchburn: [screams]
Gurkin: [to Tyler about his date with Sydney] If you try any funny stuff, I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states... and Canada.
Sydney White: Hey! You're a guy, right? Lenny: [uncertainly, looking unsure of himself] ... Yeah?
Amy: Hey Rachel. Check it out. My diet's working. I lost five pounds! Rachel Witchburn: [looks at Amy's butt as she walks away] I think your ass found it.
[staring at a drying sports bra] Spanky: Dudes... that thing has touched boobs. Terrence Lubinecki: Of course. The sturdy, breathable fabric is designed to maintain mammary elasticity. Spanky: Shut up, Terrence. You're ruining the moment for me.
Sydney White: [Frisbee lands between dorks, all jump and move away] Go on. Pick it up and throw it on back. Rachel Witchburn: [George picks up Frisbee, throws off screen] [Hits Rachel in the head] Rachel Witchburn: Ow! Sydney White: Heads up!
Gurkin: [marching past Rachel Witchburn] Hi, ho. Lenny: Bye, ho.
Tyler: The Kappa's are our sorority sisters. Sydney White: Oh! So we'll be like brother and sister? [Tyler gives her a weird look] Sydney White: Oh, not in the related, familiar way, but more the fraternal-sororal, sororital... is that a word? ok.
Sydney White: Just to clarify, I spend a normal amount of time in the bathroom.
Demetria Rosemead 'Dinky' Hotchkiss: My name's Dinky and I think I'm in love with a dork!
Lenny: Oh, um, I don't know if you need any sort of special... lady products.
Tyler: Do I make you nervous? Sydney White: No... Tyler, was it?
Sydney White: If it makes you feel any better they threw bologna at us while we sang Celine Dion songs!
Gurkin: Things are looking grim, brothers.
Lenny: Did they really make you sing Celine Dion? Sydney White: Yeah. Lenny: Do you need a place to stay?
Gurkin: You can't even make it from Junior Tiger Guide to Tiger Guide George: I'm only one badge away! [looks at his velcro shoes] George: Knots are hard!
Rachel Witchburn: Welcome to Hell, Skanks!
Demetria Rosemead 'Dinky' Hotchkiss: I wish we had the same size feet. Sydney White: It is fine. Isn't it part of this whole sisterhood thing that they like you for who you are? Demetria Rosemead 'Dinky' Hotchkiss: Sure.
Sydney White: I tried to eat a plastic flower once, kinda hurt.
Lenny: So, uh, are you all set? Do you need anything? A hypoallergenic pillow? Humidifier? Dehumidifier? Ionizer? Sydney White: Nope, I think I'm all goon on the medical-supply front. I've actually got Lenny: Are you sure? There's a lot of dust. I've got loads of allergy medicine. Sydney White: You? Allergies? I never would have guessed.
Gurkin: [updating his blog] Does anyone know another word for "douchebaggery"? I don't want to use it a third time.
Sydney White: I'm sorry, I'm still learning to speak priss.
Lenny: [talking about Spanky] He keeps himself happy.
Lenny: You really are a dork.
Lenny: You may find this hard to believe, but most of the guys here don't have a lot of experience with girls.