Super Mario Bros. Quotes
Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi must go to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.
King Koopa: You may think of evolution as... an upward process. Things evolve from primeval slime, up to single-celled organisms, up to... intelligent life. De-evolution, of course, works the opposite way. Back to... simpler forms. For instance, even our musical friend Toad... can become... a loyal child of the royal family: Goombas!
[snickers]
[snickers]
Mario: [looks at a newspaper] Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!
Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.
Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.
Luigi: Well, you don't know. It could happen.
Mario: [laughs] How could that possibly happen?
Luigi: Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!
Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.
Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.
Luigi: Well, you don't know. It could happen.
Mario: [laughs] How could that possibly happen?
Luigi: Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!
King Koopa: Now... where's the rock?
[Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]
Iggy: [together] Rock, sir?
Spike: [together] Rock, sir?
King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!
Spike: That rock!
Iggy: I told you not to forget it!
King Koopa: And I told *you* to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?
Iggy: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
Spike: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers?
[to Lena]
King Koopa: Plumber alert!
[Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]
Iggy: [together] Rock, sir?
Spike: [together] Rock, sir?
King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!
Spike: That rock!
Iggy: I told you not to forget it!
King Koopa: And I told *you* to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?
Iggy: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
Spike: [together] ... The plumbers took it.
King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers?
[to Lena]
King Koopa: Plumber alert!
Cop: [sees the Marios' tool belts] Aha! Plumbers!
Luigi: No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!
Cop: Get in the car!
Luigi: But I didn't do nothin'!
Cop: Get in the car now!
Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!
Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now!
Cop: [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car]
Mario: Hey! What is this?
Luigi: All right. What'd we do?
Mario: I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!
Luigi: Write his number down!
Luigi: No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!
Cop: Get in the car!
Luigi: But I didn't do nothin'!
Cop: Get in the car now!
Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!
Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now!
Cop: [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car]
Mario: Hey! What is this?
Luigi: All right. What'd we do?
Mario: I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!
Luigi: Write his number down!
Luigi: [trying to make conversation with Daisy after first meeting her] A-are you ok?
Princess Daisy: I got a few problems...
Luigi: Well, you know, we got a van.
Princess Daisy: [a little confused] It's... nice.
Luigi: No no, I'm asking you if you want a ride. Oh, but, uh... it's broken, though.
Princess Daisy: ...well...
[turns to leave]
Luigi: Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I-I overheard your name's Daisy. I've never heard that name around here. It's really nice, too. N-no, I *have* heard it cuz it's, like, the flower and everything... n-not that I hang around the flower shops or anything like that.
Princess Daisy: I got a few problems...
Luigi: Well, you know, we got a van.
Princess Daisy: [a little confused] It's... nice.
Luigi: No no, I'm asking you if you want a ride. Oh, but, uh... it's broken, though.
Princess Daisy: ...well...
[turns to leave]
Luigi: Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I-I overheard your name's Daisy. I've never heard that name around here. It's really nice, too. N-no, I *have* heard it cuz it's, like, the flower and everything... n-not that I hang around the flower shops or anything like that.
[the Marios try to escape in a police car]
Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?
Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...
[figures out the strange controls to start the car]
Mario: How do you know how to do that?
Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.
Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?
Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...
[figures out the strange controls to start the car]
Mario: How do you know how to do that?
Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.
[last lines]
Princess Daisy: [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun] Luigi! Mario!
Luigi: Daisy!
Princess Daisy: You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!
Luigi: Why, what's wrong?
Princess Daisy: [cradles her gun and smiles] You're not gonna believe *this*.
Mario: I believe it.
Luigi: You do?
Mario: [chuckles] I believe.
Princess Daisy: [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun] Luigi! Mario!
Luigi: Daisy!
Princess Daisy: You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!
Luigi: Why, what's wrong?
Princess Daisy: [cradles her gun and smiles] You're not gonna believe *this*.
Mario: I believe it.
Luigi: You do?
Mario: [chuckles] I believe.
Spike: We were wrong again. How many times have we got this wrong?
Iggy: *You've* gotten it wrong five times.
Spike: Home for five. Home for five. What percent is that?
Iggy: I dunno. Let me think.
[pause]
Iggy: I dunno. But it's not good.
Spike: If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna kill us.
Iggy: He's not gonna kill us. He's not that nice.
Iggy: *You've* gotten it wrong five times.
Spike: Home for five. Home for five. What percent is that?
Iggy: I dunno. Let me think.
[pause]
Iggy: I dunno. But it's not good.
Spike: If we get it wrong one more time, he's gonna kill us.
Iggy: He's not gonna kill us. He's not that nice.
[after the ending credits]
Japanese Salesman 1: Well, I must say, we have a very generous proposal.
Japanese Salesman 2: A video game based on your many adventures.
Japanese Salesman 1: What would you call it?
[We now see that they are addressing, not Mario and Luigi, but Iggy and Spike]
Iggy: "Iggy's World".
Spike: [shakes head] "The Indomitable Spike".
Iggy: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
Spike: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
Japanese Salesman 1: Well, I must say, we have a very generous proposal.
Japanese Salesman 2: A video game based on your many adventures.
Japanese Salesman 1: What would you call it?
[We now see that they are addressing, not Mario and Luigi, but Iggy and Spike]
Iggy: "Iggy's World".
Spike: [shakes head] "The Indomitable Spike".
Iggy: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
Spike: "The Super Koopa Cousins"!
King Koopa: Don't fight it. You know you've always been uncomfortable in the human world, and you at least suspected that you were...
[tongue flicks in and out like a snake's]
King Koopa: ?different.
Princess Daisy: I suspected a lot of things, but not that I...
King Koopa: That you were descended from the dinosaurs? And you know what they say about little girls, don't you? Hm? They say they never forget the first time they're kissed by a lizard.
[face starts to look more reptilian]
[tongue flicks in and out like a snake's]
King Koopa: ?different.
Princess Daisy: I suspected a lot of things, but not that I...
King Koopa: That you were descended from the dinosaurs? And you know what they say about little girls, don't you? Hm? They say they never forget the first time they're kissed by a lizard.
[face starts to look more reptilian]
Old Lady: Are you boys new in town?
Mario: Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.
Old Lady: You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.
Mario: Yea.
Old Lady: You got one?
Luigi: ...No.
Old Lady: ...All right...
[brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon]
Old Lady: [shouts] Get 'em up, suckers!
Mario: Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.
Old Lady: You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.
Mario: Yea.
Old Lady: You got one?
Luigi: ...No.
Old Lady: ...All right...
[brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon]
Old Lady: [shouts] Get 'em up, suckers!
Iggy: [Iggy and Spike mistake Daniella for Daisy] Where are you going?
Spike: I'm gonna get the girl.
Iggy: That's not the girl.
Spike: Yeah, it is, she's wearing a disguise. I could spot her a mile away.
Iggy: Of course she's wearing a disguise. She thinks she can fool us. I'm gonna go get her.
Spike: *I'm* gonna go get her.
Iggy: Wait a minute. We'll follow her and then we'll both go get her.
Spike: Good idea. I'll bag her, you grab her.
Iggy: No, *I'll* grab her, *you* bag her.
Spike: That's what I said.
Iggy: Exactly.
Spike: I'm gonna get the girl.
Iggy: That's not the girl.
Spike: Yeah, it is, she's wearing a disguise. I could spot her a mile away.
Iggy: Of course she's wearing a disguise. She thinks she can fool us. I'm gonna go get her.
Spike: *I'm* gonna go get her.
Iggy: Wait a minute. We'll follow her and then we'll both go get her.
Spike: Good idea. I'll bag her, you grab her.
Iggy: No, *I'll* grab her, *you* bag her.
Spike: That's what I said.
Iggy: Exactly.
[first lines]
Narrator: A long long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling 'em. Actually, no people went around hassling 'em cuz there weren't any people yet. Just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. Then something happened: a giant meteorite struck the Earth. Goodbye dinosaurs! But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed? What if the impact of that meteor created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, and aggressive beings... just like us? And hey, what if they found a way back?
Narrator: A long long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling 'em. Actually, no people went around hassling 'em cuz there weren't any people yet. Just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. Then something happened: a giant meteorite struck the Earth. Goodbye dinosaurs! But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed? What if the impact of that meteor created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, and aggressive beings... just like us? And hey, what if they found a way back?
Mario: [trying to get a dance with Big Bertha] Hey, the name's Mario. I'm your main man, your ram-a-dame, your can of spam...
Bertha: [punches him and laughs]
Mario: [second try] Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I've never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed 'em into my face.
Bertha: [grabs him by the jacket] Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.
Bertha: [punches him and laughs]
Mario: [second try] Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I've never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed 'em into my face.
Bertha: [grabs him by the jacket] Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.
Scapelli: Who's in charge of this hole?
Princess Daisy: I'm in charge here.
Scapelli: I'm Anthony Scapelli. I'm the boss elsewhere. My boys have to get back to work here. How long are you gonna be digging up these... bones?
Princess Daisy: As long as our court order lasts, Mr. Scapelli. The university has explained to you how important this site is. And we'd get done a lot sooner if your goons would stop harassing us.
Scapelli: You look like a smart girl. I'll bet you'll be done by tonight. You know, a lot of girls have gone missing in Brooklyn lately... I'd be careful.
Princess Daisy: I'm in charge here.
Scapelli: I'm Anthony Scapelli. I'm the boss elsewhere. My boys have to get back to work here. How long are you gonna be digging up these... bones?
Princess Daisy: As long as our court order lasts, Mr. Scapelli. The university has explained to you how important this site is. And we'd get done a lot sooner if your goons would stop harassing us.
Scapelli: You look like a smart girl. I'll bet you'll be done by tonight. You know, a lot of girls have gone missing in Brooklyn lately... I'd be careful.
[Koopa addresses the King that is in the form of fungus that's enveloping the city]
King Koopa: My my. You have let yourself go. You see? I'm not such a bad guy. You always wanted to be everywhere, well now you are.
[chuckles]
King Koopa: And let me tell you something: you can go ahead and choke this little "mushroom kingdom" all you want. Cuz I'm outta here! I'm out into the *bigger* world! I got me a couple of plumbers bringing me the rest of the meteorite. Soon to be dead plumbers. And by the way, you really ought to try to pull yourself back together again.
[chuckles]
King Koopa: Slime bucket!
King Koopa: My my. You have let yourself go. You see? I'm not such a bad guy. You always wanted to be everywhere, well now you are.
[chuckles]
King Koopa: And let me tell you something: you can go ahead and choke this little "mushroom kingdom" all you want. Cuz I'm outta here! I'm out into the *bigger* world! I got me a couple of plumbers bringing me the rest of the meteorite. Soon to be dead plumbers. And by the way, you really ought to try to pull yourself back together again.
[chuckles]
King Koopa: Slime bucket!
[Luigi has managed to get a dinner date with Daisy, thanks to Mario's help]
Mario: What would you do without your big brother, huh?
Luigi: I'd like to take a chance and find out.
Mario: Oh come on!
Luigi: I was just about to ask her that.
Mario: You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!
Luigi: Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.
Mario: Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.
Luigi: Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?
Mario: What would you do without your big brother, huh?
Luigi: I'd like to take a chance and find out.
Mario: Oh come on!
Luigi: I was just about to ask her that.
Mario: You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!
Luigi: Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.
Mario: Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.
Luigi: Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?
[Iggy and Spike have become more intelligent]
King Koopa: Both of you, go to the desert!
Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay here and formulate our own strategy. Tete-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing.
King Koopa: Here's what's logical to me: If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock... I shall personally... kill you.
Iggy: ...We're going.
King Koopa: Both of you, go to the desert!
Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay here and formulate our own strategy. Tete-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing.
King Koopa: Here's what's logical to me: If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock... I shall personally... kill you.
Iggy: ...We're going.
Mario: If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.
Luigi: Now, where's Daisy?
Spike: No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?
Luigi: Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?
Iggy: Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?
Luigi: Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!
Spike: WHERE IS THE ROCK?
Mario: SHUT UP!
Luigi: Now, where's Daisy?
Spike: No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?
Luigi: Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?
Iggy: Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?
Luigi: Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!
Spike: WHERE IS THE ROCK?
Mario: SHUT UP!
Luigi: [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant] You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?
Princess Daisy: No. What do you mean, "neither"?
Luigi: Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.
Mario: Hey!
Luigi: [laughing] Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.
Princess Daisy: No. What do you mean, "neither"?
Luigi: Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.
Mario: Hey!
Luigi: [laughing] Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.
King Koopa: Look at this place. Pathetic. It gets worse every day. The humans on the other side have a world full of resources. Ready for the taking. Imagine: an endless supply of food, clean air, water. And what are we stuck with? This... pithole, germs everywhere, fungus. For 65 million years, we've been exhiled here after the meteorite stuck while mammals roamed freely in the other dimension! Ha! Well not for long!
