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A tough police sergeant's mother comes to visit him and begins to meddle in his life and career.
Tutti Bomowski: [pointing the gun at her son] Go ahead! Make your bed.
Tutti Bomowski: His ass was the grass and I was the lawnmower.
Tutti Bomowski: [singing softly and contentedly as she sloshes and scrubs Joe's prized .45 in the dishpan] This is the way we wash our gun... wash our gun... wash our gun...
Tutti Bomowski: Stop! Stop that man Joe. Stop that man! [Joe tackles the man] Tutti Bomowski: I saw that man on America's Most Wanted. Joe Brofmowski: What did he do? Tutti Bomowski: He killed his mother.
Joe Brofmowski: Why didn't you answer when I called? Tutti Bomowski: That was you? You never called. Joe Brofmowski: That was me, why didn't you pick up the phone? Tutti Bomowski: Every year when I'm about to come out to visit, you call and say it's not a good time, so I decided not to answer the phone this time incase you called.
Joe Brofmowski: Mom, what're you doing here? Tutti Bomowski: I've got to change you. Joe Brofmowski: [looks down and realizes he's wearing a diaper] Mommy! I don't want to be changed. Tutti Bomowski: [holding up diapers and baby powder] I've got to change you.
Tutti Bomowski: [to the flight attendants] It was so cute, when he was 6 years old he walked into the kitchen and said "Mommy! My peepee's stuck in my zipper!"
Joe Brofmowski: Mom, I don't like eggs. Tutti Bomowski: If you don't eat them now, they'll be waiting here for you at dinner.