Stardust Memories Quotes
While attending a retrospect of his work, a filmmaker recalls his life and his loves: the inspirations for his films.
Question Askers-Screening: Some people have claimed that your films are narcissistic.
Sandy Bates: Yes, many people have said that about me over the years, but I don't think it's true. If I were to say which Greek God I take after, I would definitely not say Narcissus.
Question Askers-Screening: Who would you say?
Sandy Bates: Zeus.
Sandy Bates: Yes, many people have said that about me over the years, but I don't think it's true. If I were to say which Greek God I take after, I would definitely not say Narcissus.
Question Askers-Screening: Who would you say?
Sandy Bates: Zeus.
Sandy Bates: Just a little while back, just before I died in fact. I was on the operating table and I was searching to try to find something to hang onto, you know, cause when you're dying your life really does become very authentic and I was reaching for something to give my life meaning and a memory flashed through my mind: It was one of those great spring days, it was Sunday, and you knew summer would be coming soon. And I remember that morning Dorrie and I had gone for a walk in the park and come back to the apartment. We were just sort of sitting around and I put on a record of Louie Armstrong which was music I grew up with and it was very, very pretty, and I happened to glance over and I saw Dorrie sitting there. And I remember thinking to myself how terrific she was and how much I loved her. And I don't know, I guess it was a combination of everything, the sound of the music, and the breeze, and how beautiful Dorrie looked to me and for one brief moment everything just seemed to come together perfectly and I felt happy, almost indestructible in a way. It's funny, that simple little moment of contact moved me in a very, very profound way.
Jack: What is it the comedian says when his jokes are going well? "I murdered that audience"..."I killed 'em"..."They screamed"..."I broke 'em up."
Sandy Bates: Yeah. So-so what are you saying? Are you saying that someone like-like myself or... or Laurel and Hardy, or-or Bob Hope are furious?
Jack: Furious or latent homosexual.
Sandy Bates: Yeah. So-so what are you saying? Are you saying that someone like-like myself or... or Laurel and Hardy, or-or Bob Hope are furious?
Jack: Furious or latent homosexual.
Sandy Bates: But shouldn't I stop making movies and do something that counts, like-like helping blind people or becoming a missionary or something?
Voice of Martian: Let me tell you, you're not the missionary type. You'd never last. And-and incidentally, you're also not Superman; you're a comedian. You want to do mankind a real service? Tell funnier jokes.
Voice of Martian: Let me tell you, you're not the missionary type. You'd never last. And-and incidentally, you're also not Superman; you're a comedian. You want to do mankind a real service? Tell funnier jokes.
Sandy Bates: I gotta give my one classical-music joke which I put in every single picture and I invariably cut it out.
Daisy: Yeah?
Sandy Bates: Um - the, eh, uh..."I don't know much about classic music. For years I thought the Golberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg tried on their wedding night."
Daisy: Yeah?
Sandy Bates: Um - the, eh, uh..."I don't know much about classic music. For years I thought the Golberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg tried on their wedding night."
Vivian Orkin: In this film, he played the part of God.
Ghost of Sandy Bates: This was not easy, folks, because, uh, you know, I-I-I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and I don't have a good voice for God.
Vivian Orkin: And he received an Academy Award for his convincing portrayal of God... although they had to use another actor's voice.
Ghost of Sandy Bates: This was not easy, folks, because, uh, you know, I-I-I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and I don't have a good voice for God.
Vivian Orkin: And he received an Academy Award for his convincing portrayal of God... although they had to use another actor's voice.
Young Girl: I understand you studied philosophy at school.
Sandy Bates: Uh, no, that's not true. I-I-I did take - I took one course in existential philosophy at, uh, at New York University, and on, uh, on the final... they gave me ten questions, and, uh, I couldn't answer a single one of 'em. You know? I left 'em all blank... I got a hundred.
Sandy Bates: Uh, no, that's not true. I-I-I did take - I took one course in existential philosophy at, uh, at New York University, and on, uh, on the final... they gave me ten questions, and, uh, I couldn't answer a single one of 'em. You know? I left 'em all blank... I got a hundred.
Fan: Are you Sandy Bates?
Sandy Bates: Uhhh... no.
Fan: Yes, you are.
Sandy Bates: No n-n-n-no, I'm not.
Fan: My mother buys meat in the same butcher shop your mother does.
Sandy Bates: Oh, great.
Fan: Can I have your autograph?
Sandy Bates: Oh, jeez.
Fan: Could you just write: "To Phyllis Weinstein, you unfaithful, lying bitch."
Sandy Bates: Uhhh... no.
Fan: Yes, you are.
Sandy Bates: No n-n-n-no, I'm not.
Fan: My mother buys meat in the same butcher shop your mother does.
Sandy Bates: Oh, great.
Fan: Can I have your autograph?
Sandy Bates: Oh, jeez.
Fan: Could you just write: "To Phyllis Weinstein, you unfaithful, lying bitch."
