Splash Quotes
A young man is reunited with a mermaid who saves him from drowning as a boy and falls in love not knowing who/what she is.
Freddie: People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said?
Allen: Yeah.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never BE that happy. I'LL never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.
Allen: Yeah.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never BE that happy. I'LL never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.
Allen: Hi.
Madison: Hi.
Allen: Um, is this the big secret you've been keeping from me? Is it, that you're a mermaid, or is there something else?
Madison: No, that's it.
[remembering his first reaction to her 'reveal']
Madison: Allen, don't feel guilty.
Allen: Guilty? About what?
Madison: About not loving me anymore.
Allen: Oh, Madison. All the time we were together, you always knew how I was feeling. Can't you tell now?
[Madison smiles, and they kiss]
Madison: Hi.
Allen: Um, is this the big secret you've been keeping from me? Is it, that you're a mermaid, or is there something else?
Madison: No, that's it.
[remembering his first reaction to her 'reveal']
Madison: Allen, don't feel guilty.
Allen: Guilty? About what?
Madison: About not loving me anymore.
Allen: Oh, Madison. All the time we were together, you always knew how I was feeling. Can't you tell now?
[Madison smiles, and they kiss]
Dr. Ross: Tomorrow I want to see how she interacts with other marine life, then we'll be ready for the internal examination.
Walter Kornbluth: Internal examination?
Dr. Ross: Of course, I want to study her pulmonary system, reproductive organs, everything.
Walter Kornbluth: Doctor Ross, are we considering how the subject is responding to the examination procedures?
Dr. Ross: I'm considering everything.
Walter Kornbluth: Oh yes, I'm sure you are Doctor Ross. How stupid of me! But let me ask you this, are you considering the possibility that you might be a sadistic pig?
Walter Kornbluth: Internal examination?
Dr. Ross: Of course, I want to study her pulmonary system, reproductive organs, everything.
Walter Kornbluth: Doctor Ross, are we considering how the subject is responding to the examination procedures?
Dr. Ross: I'm considering everything.
Walter Kornbluth: Oh yes, I'm sure you are Doctor Ross. How stupid of me! But let me ask you this, are you considering the possibility that you might be a sadistic pig?
[first lines]
Mary Bauer: [catches Freddie looking up women's skirts] Freddie!
Young Freddie: I dropped something.
Mary Bauer: Ralph, talk to him.
[Ralph smacks Freddie upside the head]
Mary Bauer: Listen to your father. Come on, from over there we can see Cape Cod.
Ralph Bauer: We were just on Cape Cod. We could have stayed there, I would have saved twelve dollars.
Mary Bauer: Allen, sweetheart, don't you want to see Cape Cod?
[Allen shakes his head]
Mary Bauer: All right, darling, you know where we are if you change your mind.
Mary Bauer: [catches Freddie looking up women's skirts] Freddie!
Young Freddie: I dropped something.
Mary Bauer: Ralph, talk to him.
[Ralph smacks Freddie upside the head]
Mary Bauer: Listen to your father. Come on, from over there we can see Cape Cod.
Ralph Bauer: We were just on Cape Cod. We could have stayed there, I would have saved twelve dollars.
Mary Bauer: Allen, sweetheart, don't you want to see Cape Cod?
[Allen shakes his head]
Mary Bauer: All right, darling, you know where we are if you change your mind.
Allen: [knocking on bathroom door] Madison?
Madison: [Worriedly] Allen?
Allen: Yeah, of course, it's Allen. What are you doing, sweetheart?
Madison: Taking a bath.
Allen: [to himself] Ooo, ooo.
[to Madison]
Allen: Can I come in?
Madison: No!
[Madison tries to get out of the bathtub, and lands on the bathmat with a loud thump]
Allen: [concerned] What was that? Madison, are you all right?
Madison: Everything's fine.
Allen: Well, then let me in.
Madison: [using a towel to dry her fins] I'll be right there. I'm just changing.
Allen: Enough is enough, Madison. Come on, open the door. Something is wrong.
Madison: [trying to make him go away] Allen, can you make me some pancakes?
Allen: Make you some-Madison!
[jiggling the door handle, worriedly]
Allen: All right, Madison, this is getting scary. You either open up this door, or I'm gonna break it down!
Madison: [using a hair dryer to dry off her fins now] No, Allen, please!
Allen: All right, that's it!
Madison: Allen, no! No!
Allen: [tries to break down the door, and it doesn't budge] Ow.
[Allen tries several more times. As he continues, Madison throws the towel over her fins. As she does so, Allen manages to open the door, to find her lying on the bathmat. As he looks around confused, she pulls the towel away, revealing her legs]
Madison: Hi.
Allen: Hi. Are you okay?
Madison: Yeah.
Allen: Well, why wouldn't you let me in?
Madison: I was... shy.
Allen: You were shy? After the car, and the elevator, and the bedroom, and on top of the refrigerator, you were shy?
Madison: [matter-of-factly] I was shy.
Allen: [to himself] She was shy.
Madison: [Worriedly] Allen?
Allen: Yeah, of course, it's Allen. What are you doing, sweetheart?
Madison: Taking a bath.
Allen: [to himself] Ooo, ooo.
[to Madison]
Allen: Can I come in?
Madison: No!
[Madison tries to get out of the bathtub, and lands on the bathmat with a loud thump]
Allen: [concerned] What was that? Madison, are you all right?
Madison: Everything's fine.
Allen: Well, then let me in.
Madison: [using a towel to dry her fins] I'll be right there. I'm just changing.
Allen: Enough is enough, Madison. Come on, open the door. Something is wrong.
Madison: [trying to make him go away] Allen, can you make me some pancakes?
Allen: Make you some-Madison!
[jiggling the door handle, worriedly]
Allen: All right, Madison, this is getting scary. You either open up this door, or I'm gonna break it down!
Madison: [using a hair dryer to dry off her fins now] No, Allen, please!
Allen: All right, that's it!
Madison: Allen, no! No!
Allen: [tries to break down the door, and it doesn't budge] Ow.
[Allen tries several more times. As he continues, Madison throws the towel over her fins. As she does so, Allen manages to open the door, to find her lying on the bathmat. As he looks around confused, she pulls the towel away, revealing her legs]
Madison: Hi.
Allen: Hi. Are you okay?
Madison: Yeah.
Allen: Well, why wouldn't you let me in?
Madison: I was... shy.
Allen: You were shy? After the car, and the elevator, and the bedroom, and on top of the refrigerator, you were shy?
Madison: [matter-of-factly] I was shy.
Allen: [to himself] She was shy.
Allen: Are there any messages?
Mrs Stimler: Oh, yes.
[She goes back to working]
Allen: [pause] And they are?
Mrs Stimler: Huh? Oh, your father called. He wants you to call him back.
Allen: [pause] Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away about five years ago. Do you remember?
Mrs Stimler: [confused look] Right. Shall I get him for you?
Allen: No, thanks.
Mrs Stimler: Oh, yes.
[She goes back to working]
Allen: [pause] And they are?
Mrs Stimler: Huh? Oh, your father called. He wants you to call him back.
Allen: [pause] Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away about five years ago. Do you remember?
Mrs Stimler: [confused look] Right. Shall I get him for you?
Allen: No, thanks.
Freddie: [Allen is passed out and laying on the bar in a snack bowl] You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny.
[Allen remains comatose]
Freddie: Bartender! Another round for my friend and I here!
Allen: No, no, Freddie. I don't want to get drunk!
Freddie: But you *are* drunk. You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels.
Bartender: Is he gonna' be up there all day?
Freddie: I don't know.
Allen: [coming to] Ohhhh... I'm on the bar!
Freddie: Oh, you're on the bar. Here, let me help you down.
[Allen slips and falls to the floor]
Freddie: Uh-oh, you fell.
[Allen remains comatose]
Freddie: Bartender! Another round for my friend and I here!
Allen: No, no, Freddie. I don't want to get drunk!
Freddie: But you *are* drunk. You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels.
Bartender: Is he gonna' be up there all day?
Freddie: I don't know.
Allen: [coming to] Ohhhh... I'm on the bar!
Freddie: Oh, you're on the bar. Here, let me help you down.
[Allen slips and falls to the floor]
Freddie: Uh-oh, you fell.
Claude: Hey, Mr. Cornbeef?
Walter Kornbluth: Kornbluth!
Claude: Watcha lookin' for down there? Buried treasure?
Walter Kornbluth: Wanna know what I'm looking for? Boys? I'll tell ya. NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS! THATS'S WHAT I'M LOOKIN' FOR! Get outta my way!
[he dives off the ship and into the water]
Claude: That's pee down his air hose.
Walter Kornbluth: Kornbluth!
Claude: Watcha lookin' for down there? Buried treasure?
Walter Kornbluth: Wanna know what I'm looking for? Boys? I'll tell ya. NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS! THATS'S WHAT I'M LOOKIN' FOR! Get outta my way!
[he dives off the ship and into the water]
Claude: That's pee down his air hose.
Walter Kornbluth: There is a mermaid in New York City.
Dr Zidell: Oh... oh... sure... sure... y-you mean this... this... this "naked girl"? How come she's got legs?
Walter Kornbluth: She has legs out of the water, she has fins in the water. You taught me that Dr. Zidell, don't you remember? You taught me all the legends.
Dr Zidell: Oh... oh... sure... sure... y-you mean this... this... this "naked girl"? How come she's got legs?
Walter Kornbluth: She has legs out of the water, she has fins in the water. You taught me that Dr. Zidell, don't you remember? You taught me all the legends.
Madison: [ice skating with Allen] Is this really what happens to water when it gets cold?
Allen: Yeah.
Madison: [smiles] Where I come from, it never gets cold.
Allen: [sarcastically] Oh, what a breakthrough there! You know, you really opened up to me!
Madison: [pauses] Your voice sounds funny.
Allen: Well, it's called sarcasm! What, do they not have that where you come from either?
Madison: [quietly but angrily] No.
[She skates away]
Allen: [skates after her] Well now they don't have anything, do they? They don't have ice. And they don't have music and they don't have clothes. Just what kind of a place is this, Madison?
Allen: Yeah.
Madison: [smiles] Where I come from, it never gets cold.
Allen: [sarcastically] Oh, what a breakthrough there! You know, you really opened up to me!
Madison: [pauses] Your voice sounds funny.
Allen: Well, it's called sarcasm! What, do they not have that where you come from either?
Madison: [quietly but angrily] No.
[She skates away]
Allen: [skates after her] Well now they don't have anything, do they? They don't have ice. And they don't have music and they don't have clothes. Just what kind of a place is this, Madison?
[last lines]
Allen: I love you, Madison. Go. Go!
[Madison dives into water]
Loudspeaker: Get that guy on the dock.
Allen: Leave her alone! Just leave her alone!
Guardsman: Come on you guys.
Allen: Madison. Madison!
[jumps into water]
Loudspeaker: Stay where you are. We'll get you out.
Allen: Madison!
Allen: I love you, Madison. Go. Go!
[Madison dives into water]
Loudspeaker: Get that guy on the dock.
Allen: Leave her alone! Just leave her alone!
Guardsman: Come on you guys.
Allen: Madison. Madison!
[jumps into water]
Loudspeaker: Stay where you are. We'll get you out.
Allen: Madison!
Allen: [comes into the market considerably upbeat after his first night with Madison] Hey, ev'rybody! Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!
[and sings]
Allen: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-yay - hey, Manuel!/My, oh, my, what a wonderful day... Plenty of sunshine headin' my way/Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-yay!
Allen: [puts a mango on his shoulder and continues singing] Mister Mango on my shoulder... Freddy! dance with me!
[grabs his brother]
Freddie: [trying to pull away] Wait! Not in front of the Teamsters!
Allen: Oh, c'mon, c'mon! They're happy guys!
Freddie: You're a rotten lead!
[and sings]
Allen: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-yay - hey, Manuel!/My, oh, my, what a wonderful day... Plenty of sunshine headin' my way/Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-yay!
Allen: [puts a mango on his shoulder and continues singing] Mister Mango on my shoulder... Freddy! dance with me!
[grabs his brother]
Freddie: [trying to pull away] Wait! Not in front of the Teamsters!
Allen: Oh, c'mon, c'mon! They're happy guys!
Freddie: You're a rotten lead!
Allen: Freddie, the woman learned how to speak English in a single afternoon.
Freddie: She could probably speak English already. I think she was in shock from bein' arrested y'know?
Allen: Well now, what about that, huh? What about a woman showing up naked in a public place, Freddie?
Freddie: Well I'm for it, of course.
Freddie: She could probably speak English already. I think she was in shock from bein' arrested y'know?
Allen: Well now, what about that, huh? What about a woman showing up naked in a public place, Freddie?
Freddie: Well I'm for it, of course.
