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A mercenary is killed, but comes back from Hell as a reluctant soldier of the Devil.
[first lines] Cogliostro: The battle between Heaven and Hell has waged eternal, their armies fueled by souls harvested on Earth. The devil, Malebolgia, has sent a lieutenant to Earth to recruit men who will turn the world into a place of death in exchange for wealth and power, a place that will provide enough souls to complete his army and allow Armageddon to begin. All the Dark Lord needs now is a great soldier, someone who can lead his hordes to the gates of Heaven and burn them down.
Clown: [imitating Jimmy Stewart] "Uh, well, well, every time someone farts, a demon gets his wings." Clown: [farts twice] Clown: Oops, twins.
Clown: [while acting as a clown at Cyan's birthday party] I've got more tricks than a hooker!
Clown: In the name of the people and things of Hell, I dub thee... Spawn, general of Hell's armies. Arise, Your Crispness! Arise, Duke of Deep-Fried! Sultan of Sizzling! Emir of Ooey-Gooey!
Jessica Priest: It's a little early for Halloween, Simmons. Spawn: Where you're going, every day's Halloween.
Clown: I'm gonna cut you into 50 pieces and mail you to every state.
Clown: I say destroy the cosmos, ask questions later.
Clown: [in cheerleader get-up as he watches Cyan] What a pretty little dress. I wonder if she's it in my size? [begins cheering] Clown: Spawnie, Spawnie, he's our man, if he can't kill 'em, no one can. Yay, Spawnie! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie, go Spawnie.
Spawn: God. Clown: [covering ears] Aah! Did you have to use the "G" word? La la la la la la.
Spawn: Aren't there any normal people left on Earth? Or is everybody just back from Hell?
Spawn: You sent me to Hell, Jason! I'm here to return the favor!
Clown: [to a group of would-be Satanists] Shocked and amazed at the wonders of necroflesh? You're not alone. For a limited time only, you too can have this handsome epidermis for the eensy price of your soul and a buttload of pain.
Clown: [farts] Oops. A wet one. I hope I didn't stain my underwear. Look at that. Skid marks.
Jason Wynn: He killed Priest! He damn near killed me! Clown: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Clown: If you strike oil, half of it is mine.
Jason Wynn: [to Clown] When the all the world is mind, I will personally fry your lard-ass.
Clown: [after Spawn cuts off his head] You're gonna pay for this. It's not over yet. I'll gum you to death. I'll bite you. [tries to pick his head up with his tongue] Clown: Hey, Wanda, how do you think of my little head, huh? [the rest of his body melts as well as his head] Clown: This is your last to join up. Think about it. Come on. [his head continues to melt] Clown: You'll pay for this.
Clown: Why do you people always question? Why ask why, when *how* is so much more fun?
Spawn: NO! Clown: Oh, come on. You scream like a girl. Do it like this. [high pitched] Clown: AAAH! Someone's a little angry 'cause they died and went to... [singing] Clown: / Hello, my mutant, Hello, my carcass, Hello, my bug-infested corpse. /
Clown: [as Wanda] You pansy bacon crisp!
Spawn: Just get me to a hospital. Clown: A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of "E.R." couldn't put you back together again.
Clown: Wynn and Wanda sitting in a tree, S-U-C-K-I-N-G
Spawn: You filthy little piece of vermin. What makes you think I would join your army? You can take that army of yours and shove it. Clown: Sounds like a country song. [singing] Clown: "You can take that army of yours and shove it. You can take that..." [stops] Clown: Uh-oh. You've got that, "I want to beat the fat little man" look in your eyes.
Spawn: [to Cogliostro] All right, Yoda, just hold on.
Clown: Oh, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Bad crispy! Bad crispy! Clown not like.
Clown: Ooh. Burnt man walkin'.
Spawn: [after he sees his wounds heal for the first time] Daaaamn.
Cogliostro: This is just what they want. You're playing their game. Spawn: [cocks his gun] Then I'll play dirty. Cogliostro: Guns are useless. Spawn: You got a better idea? Cogliostro: [runs circles around Spawn and wraps chains around Spawn as well] I might.
Clown: I love the smell of burning asphalt in the morning.
Spawn: What are you looking at, old man? Cogliostro: You tell me.
Al Simmons: You son of a bitch. You knew what was going in all along. Jason Wynn: I do believe he's catching on. [Jessica hoses Al down with flammable liquid] Jason Wynn: Enjoy your retirement, old friend. Oh, and by the way, don't worry about Wanda. I'll take good care of her. Al Simmons: You touch her, and you're a dead man. Jason Wynn: You're the dead man. [Wynn throws cigarette on Al and he catches on fire] Jason Wynn: See you in hell, Al.
Cogliostro: The war between Heaven & Hell depends on the choices we make, and those choices require sacrifice. That's the test.
Jessica Priest: Looks like I'm up for a promotion. Al Simmons: You wipe his ass, too?
[after defeating the Clown] Spawn: Give my regards to your boss. Tell him he's next.
Cogliostro: [to Violator] All right, you overgrown gecko. Come and get your throat cut!
Spawn: What... is this? Clown: Ooh, boy you are tied to that track and that stupid train just kept running over you now, didn't it? Running over you.
Clown: [imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger] You have been violated little girly man.
Doctor: What have we got? Paramedic: [about Priest] Gunshot wound to the head doc. Doctor: Eh, she's dead.
Jason Wynn: You don't quit us, son. We are not the U.S. Postal Service.
Clown: Open wide and say, "AAH"!
Clown: Come on, my barbecued friend. Don't want to keep that side order of potato salad waiting, now do we?
Zack: Relax, mister. I've seen worse faces at the coroner's. Spawn: Thanks, kid. That makes me feel *much* better.
Clown: The master and I are going to have words. He knows I hate clowns. God, I hate them. I hate them all. I hate Bozo, Ronald, Chuckles with their freakin' dumb noses and their lousy party hats! Arrgh! I don't mind being short, fat, and ugly, but the pay sucks!
Spawn: Aah! Feels like my skin is about to explode. Clown: That's just your viral necroplasm going through its larval stage. Pretty soon you're going to get hair in funny places, and you're gonna start thinking about girls. Ha! Getting a chubby, studly? A half guy, semi?
Clown: You're dead. D-E-D. Dead.
Clown: How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?
Clown: No more clowning around. I'm not the Vindicator or the Victimizer or the Vaporizer or the Vibrator! I'm... [shouts] Clown: The Violator!