Space Jam Quotes
Michael Jordan agrees to help the Looney Toons play a basketball game vs. alien slavers to determine their freedom.
Michael Jordan: What's going on here?
Bugs: Why Michael! I thought you'd never ask! You see these aliens come from outer space and they wanna make us slaves for their theme park. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game! But then they show up and they ain't so little,
[shouts]
Bugs: they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause they're talking about slavery! The same jokes every night for all etoinity! We're going to be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to peform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, bad-headed, humor-challenged *aliens!* Eh, what I'm trying to say is...
[shouts]
Bugs: we need your heeeeeeeelllp!
Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
Bugs: Right.
[gets out rabbit skull]
Bugs: And I'm a Shakespearean actor.
Bugs: Why Michael! I thought you'd never ask! You see these aliens come from outer space and they wanna make us slaves for their theme park. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game! But then they show up and they ain't so little,
[shouts]
Bugs: they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause they're talking about slavery! The same jokes every night for all etoinity! We're going to be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to peform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, bad-headed, humor-challenged *aliens!* Eh, what I'm trying to say is...
[shouts]
Bugs: we need your heeeeeeeelllp!
Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
Bugs: Right.
[gets out rabbit skull]
Bugs: And I'm a Shakespearean actor.
Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll?
Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?
Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.
Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.
Bugs: Sure.
Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.
[Touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]
Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?
Bugs: Yes.
[she gets past him]
Bugs: I got it, I got it!
[she spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]
Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.
Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?
Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".
[blows her ears out of her face]
Bugs: Check.
Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.
Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
Michael Jordan: Obviously.
Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?
Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.
Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.
Bugs: Sure.
Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.
[Touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]
Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?
Bugs: Yes.
[she gets past him]
Bugs: I got it, I got it!
[she spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]
Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.
Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?
Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".
[blows her ears out of her face]
Bugs: Check.
Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.
Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
Michael Jordan: Obviously.
Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?
Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?
Daffy Duck: Yeah.
Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!
Bugs: Hmm... me neither.
Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!
Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?
Daffy Duck: Yeah.
Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!
Bugs: Hmm... me neither.
Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, The Wonder from Down Under: The Tasmanian Devil!
[Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]
Announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!
[Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]
Announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!
Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!
[Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]
Daffy Duck: [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!
Announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!
Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!
Announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!
[Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]
Announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!
[Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]
Announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!
Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!
[Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]
Daffy Duck: [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!
Announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!
Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!
Announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!
Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.
Lola Bunny: Got it.
Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!
Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!
Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.
Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.
Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.
Lola Bunny: Got it.
Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!
Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!
Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.
Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.
Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!
Female Seer: [while the Nerdlucks, hiding in a trench coat, watch Charles Barkley in the game] Sweetheart?
Male Fan: What?
Female Seer: Thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
Male Fan: This is as good as I could get.
Female Seer: This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Male Fan: Honey, will you just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us!
Male Fan: What?
Female Seer: Thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
Male Fan: This is as good as I could get.
Female Seer: This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Male Fan: Honey, will you just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us!
[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]
Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?
Michael Jordan: Yes.
Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.
Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!
Stan Podalak: All right.
[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]
Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?
Stan Podalak: It's just a
Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?
Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...
Larry Bird: Where'd he go?
Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?
Michael Jordan: Yes.
Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.
Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!
Stan Podalak: All right.
[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]
Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?
Stan Podalak: It's just a
Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?
Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...
Larry Bird: Where'd he go?
Nerdluck Bang: We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.
Nerdluck Nawt: Yeah, Bugs Bunny.
Nerdluck Bupkus: Have you seen him?
Nerdluck Blanko: Is he around?
Bugs: Hmmm... Bugs Bunny... Bugs Bunny... Say, don't he have, uh, great big long ears...
[pulls his ears]
Bugs: like this?
Nerdlucks: Yeah.
Bugs: And does he hop around like this?
[hops around the forrest]
Nerdlucks: Uh-huh.
Bugs: And does he say, "What's up, doc?" like this?
[chomps carrot]
Bugs: Eh, what's up, doc?
Nerdlucks: [excited] YEAH!
Bugs: [leaves] Nope, never heard of him.
Nerdlucks: Aw...
Bugs: [to the audience] Y'know, maybe there *is* no intelligent life out there in the univoise after all.
Nerdluck Nawt: Yeah, Bugs Bunny.
Nerdluck Bupkus: Have you seen him?
Nerdluck Blanko: Is he around?
Bugs: Hmmm... Bugs Bunny... Bugs Bunny... Say, don't he have, uh, great big long ears...
[pulls his ears]
Bugs: like this?
Nerdlucks: Yeah.
Bugs: And does he hop around like this?
[hops around the forrest]
Nerdlucks: Uh-huh.
Bugs: And does he say, "What's up, doc?" like this?
[chomps carrot]
Bugs: Eh, what's up, doc?
Nerdlucks: [excited] YEAH!
Bugs: [leaves] Nope, never heard of him.
Nerdlucks: Aw...
Bugs: [to the audience] Y'know, maybe there *is* no intelligent life out there in the univoise after all.
[last lines]
Larry Bird: What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray: [after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA] Larry, that could have been me.
Larry Bird: Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: Okay.
[voice breaking with emotion]
Bill Murray: Let's go, Bulls!
Larry Bird: What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray: [after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA] Larry, that could have been me.
Larry Bird: Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: Okay.
[voice breaking with emotion]
Bill Murray: Let's go, Bulls!
Mr. Swackhammer: [after berating them for losing to the Looney Tunes] Alright, the party's over! Get in the spaceship!
Michael Jordan: [to the Monstars] Why are you taking from this guy?
Monstar Bupkus: Because he's bigger!
Monstar Pound: He's bigger?
Monstar Bang: Then, we *used* to be...
Mr. Swackhammer: [the Monstars realize they are now bigger than Swackhammer and look at him menacingly] What are you doing?
[They seize him and stuff him on a rocket and blasts it off into space to crash onto the Moon]
Michael Jordan: Had it in you all the time, didn't ya?
[the Monstars look embarrassed for a moment]
Michael Jordan: [to the Monstars] Why are you taking from this guy?
Monstar Bupkus: Because he's bigger!
Monstar Pound: He's bigger?
Monstar Bang: Then, we *used* to be...
Mr. Swackhammer: [the Monstars realize they are now bigger than Swackhammer and look at him menacingly] What are you doing?
[They seize him and stuff him on a rocket and blasts it off into space to crash onto the Moon]
Michael Jordan: Had it in you all the time, didn't ya?
[the Monstars look embarrassed for a moment]
