She's the Man Quotes
When her brother decides to ditch for a couple weeks in London, Viola heads over to his elite boarding school, disguises herself as him, and proceeds to fall for one of her soccer teammates. Little does she realize she's not the only one with romantic troubles, as she, as he, gets in the middle of a series of intermingled love affairs.
Viola: So, what brings you here?
Duke: Well, a few days ago I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. And now, I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.
Viola: Neither can she.
Duke: Plus, I miss my roommate. I really liked him.
Viola: Well, he's right in here.
[pointing to her heart]
Viola: Listen, I know I should have told you who I was, but I was afraid. I'm sorry.
Duke: Well, you know maybe if I had known you were a girl, we wouldn't have talked like we did, and got to know each other the same way. And that would've been a shame.
Viola: Just so you know, everything you told me when I was a guy, just made me like you so much more as a girl.
Duke: Ok, but just from here on in, everything would just be alot easier if you stayed a girl.
Duke: Well, a few days ago I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. And now, I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.
Viola: Neither can she.
Duke: Plus, I miss my roommate. I really liked him.
Viola: Well, he's right in here.
[pointing to her heart]
Viola: Listen, I know I should have told you who I was, but I was afraid. I'm sorry.
Duke: Well, you know maybe if I had known you were a girl, we wouldn't have talked like we did, and got to know each other the same way. And that would've been a shame.
Viola: Just so you know, everything you told me when I was a guy, just made me like you so much more as a girl.
Duke: Ok, but just from here on in, everything would just be alot easier if you stayed a girl.
Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...
Viola: Okay, who's your daddy?
Duke: Huh?
Viola: I got her to consider you! You're half way in man!
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out, you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: [after Duke looks away in frustration] Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You're hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: [clears throat] Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Duke: Look, I don't know, I just always say the wrong- I just always say the wrong thing.
Viola: OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a girl and you're gonna talk to me, ok?
Duke: Ew. Do, do I have to?
Viola: Yes. Cause, "I'm Viola. Duke, nice to meet you."
Duke: OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a girl just then.
Viola: I used to imitate my sister all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'.
Duke: Questions about what?
Viola: Anything. Ask me if I like... cheese.
Duke: [laughing] Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?
Viola: [Girl's voice] Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda.
Duke: I like gouda too?
Duke: Huh?
Viola: I got her to consider you! You're half way in man!
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out, you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: [after Duke looks away in frustration] Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You're hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: [clears throat] Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Duke: Look, I don't know, I just always say the wrong- I just always say the wrong thing.
Viola: OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a girl and you're gonna talk to me, ok?
Duke: Ew. Do, do I have to?
Viola: Yes. Cause, "I'm Viola. Duke, nice to meet you."
Duke: OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a girl just then.
Viola: I used to imitate my sister all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'.
Duke: Questions about what?
Viola: Anything. Ask me if I like... cheese.
Duke: [laughing] Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?
Viola: [Girl's voice] Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda.
Duke: I like gouda too?
Duke: [Using one of Viola's tampons after getting into a fight with Justin at the carnival] Oh, yeah, I uh, borrowed one of your... yeah... and you're right, they really do work.
Viola: Oh my god you're hurt...
[clears throat]
Viola: I mean, suck it up, be a man and rub some dirt on it
Duke: Okay, I'll rub some dirt in it...
Viola: Oh my god you're hurt...
[clears throat]
Viola: I mean, suck it up, be a man and rub some dirt on it
Duke: Okay, I'll rub some dirt in it...
[sees Olivia switch kissing booth places with Viola]
Duke: Just my luck.
[sees look on Viola's face]
Duke: No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, she's... you know... Ok. Um, on the other hand you're also...
Viola: I am? Thanks, I, guess.
9 Year Old Boy: You don't have to flirt with her first, okay, genius? You're paying for it.
Duke: Haha, why don't you just - relax.
[to Viola]
Duke: Um, um, um- maybe I should kiss you now, I gave that girl my ticket and I waited in line.
Viola: Well, it's the least I can do.
Duke: Uh, ok - here I go. Um - uh...
[They kiss]
Duke: Ok, I think that was one ticket's worth.
Viola: Na-uh, you need a little bit more.
[she kisses him again]
Duke: Just my luck.
[sees look on Viola's face]
Duke: No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, she's... you know... Ok. Um, on the other hand you're also...
Viola: I am? Thanks, I, guess.
9 Year Old Boy: You don't have to flirt with her first, okay, genius? You're paying for it.
Duke: Haha, why don't you just - relax.
[to Viola]
Duke: Um, um, um- maybe I should kiss you now, I gave that girl my ticket and I waited in line.
Viola: Well, it's the least I can do.
Duke: Uh, ok - here I go. Um - uh...
[They kiss]
Duke: Ok, I think that was one ticket's worth.
Viola: Na-uh, you need a little bit more.
[she kisses him again]
Viola: [as Sebastian] Hey. HEY! What up? You must be my room-mates.
Duke: [laughs]
[Viola clears throat]
Duke: What-what's your name?
Viola: Sebastian Hastings.
Duke: Duke Orsino.
Viola: [grunts]
Duke: Um, ok, ok, ok, ok! Um, this is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.
Andrew: Yeah, freshman dorms thattaway, twiglet.
Toby: Seriously, how old are you?
Viola: I skipped a couple of grades. I'm brilliant, shh! Anyway, you know when our soccer try-outs start?
Duke: Noon. You play?
Viola: Absolutely. Centre-forward. You know it, bra. So, uh, you play the beautiful sport, bro? Brothers? Brethren?
Duke: Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are half-backs.
Viola: Schveet!
Duke: Ok, w-why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: Um, I get really bad nose bleeds?
Andrew: So you stick 'em up your nose?
Viola: Yeah! What, you've, you've never done that?
[Boys shake head]
Viola: Oh my! Beckhem does it all the time.
Duke: Serious?
Viola: Yes. Look, let me show you how to do it. Take that off and whatever that is, and, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up!
Duke: That's disgusting!
Andrew: Oh my god! You're room-mates a freak!
Duke: [laughs]
[Viola clears throat]
Duke: What-what's your name?
Viola: Sebastian Hastings.
Duke: Duke Orsino.
Viola: [grunts]
Duke: Um, ok, ok, ok, ok! Um, this is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.
Andrew: Yeah, freshman dorms thattaway, twiglet.
Toby: Seriously, how old are you?
Viola: I skipped a couple of grades. I'm brilliant, shh! Anyway, you know when our soccer try-outs start?
Duke: Noon. You play?
Viola: Absolutely. Centre-forward. You know it, bra. So, uh, you play the beautiful sport, bro? Brothers? Brethren?
Duke: Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are half-backs.
Viola: Schveet!
Duke: Ok, w-why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: Um, I get really bad nose bleeds?
Andrew: So you stick 'em up your nose?
Viola: Yeah! What, you've, you've never done that?
[Boys shake head]
Viola: Oh my! Beckhem does it all the time.
Duke: Serious?
Viola: Yes. Look, let me show you how to do it. Take that off and whatever that is, and, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up!
Duke: That's disgusting!
Andrew: Oh my god! You're room-mates a freak!
Viola: [as Sebastian] I gotta be completely honest. The whole dissecting thing kinda freaks me out, so uh... I think you may have to take the reins on this one.
Olivia: Wow, most guys would have never admit that.
Viola: Oh crap! You're right.
Olivia: No, don't worry I think it's refreshing.
Viola: You do?
Malcolm: [interupts] No paper near the bunsen burner.
Viola: Wait!
Olivia: What's this? poems?
Viola: Lyrics. They're his... my, my old stuff.
Olivia: [reading] "Wake up I've been waiting for you".
[Finishes]
Olivia: Those are really good. So honest.
Viola: I know. I keep telling him... me... meself... my... myself.
Malcolm: I write songs too, Olivia.
Olivia: Really? Wonderful.
Malcolm: Check it out.
[sings]
Malcolm: I see you through your window, while I'm standing on a tree outside
Olivia: Wow, most guys would have never admit that.
Viola: Oh crap! You're right.
Olivia: No, don't worry I think it's refreshing.
Viola: You do?
Malcolm: [interupts] No paper near the bunsen burner.
Viola: Wait!
Olivia: What's this? poems?
Viola: Lyrics. They're his... my, my old stuff.
Olivia: [reading] "Wake up I've been waiting for you".
[Finishes]
Olivia: Those are really good. So honest.
Viola: I know. I keep telling him... me... meself... my... myself.
Malcolm: I write songs too, Olivia.
Olivia: Really? Wonderful.
Malcolm: Check it out.
[sings]
Malcolm: I see you through your window, while I'm standing on a tree outside
Coach Dinklage: [about to assign shirts and skins] OK, shirts and skins!
Viola: Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt.
Coach Dinklage: What?
Viola: I'm allergic to the sun.
Coach Dinklage: ...You're allergic to the sun?
Viola: Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic.
Coach Dinklage: Well, we like to accomodate here in Illiria, so I'll follow you around with a parasol. Alright, Nancy boy?
[looks at his clipboard]
Coach Dinklage: You're a shirt.
Viola: Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt.
Coach Dinklage: What?
Viola: I'm allergic to the sun.
Coach Dinklage: ...You're allergic to the sun?
Viola: Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic.
Coach Dinklage: Well, we like to accomodate here in Illiria, so I'll follow you around with a parasol. Alright, Nancy boy?
[looks at his clipboard]
Coach Dinklage: You're a shirt.
Viola: I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower.
Malcolm: [startled gasp then realizes he forgot to introduce himself] Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower... Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.
[Duke walks in and hits Malcolm behind the head with a towel. Malcolm emits a high-pitched squeal]
Viola: Sup dog?
Duke: Yeah, what's kickin', homie?
Viola: Later.
Duke: Hey, you forgot, ew...
[holding up Viola's chest bandage]
Duke: This, coolio.
Viola: Word, g-money.
Malcolm: [startled gasp then realizes he forgot to introduce himself] Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower... Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.
[Duke walks in and hits Malcolm behind the head with a towel. Malcolm emits a high-pitched squeal]
Viola: Sup dog?
Duke: Yeah, what's kickin', homie?
Viola: Later.
Duke: Hey, you forgot, ew...
[holding up Viola's chest bandage]
Duke: This, coolio.
Viola: Word, g-money.
Monique: Sebastian!
[Monique mistakes Viola for Sebastian]
Viola: Ow!
Monique: Eww... It's you. God you and your brother look scarily alike from the back. I think it's your total lack of curves.
Viola: Hey Monique, it's so good to see you too!
Monique: Hmm. I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he?
Viola: I don't know.
Monique: Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life. And tell him to give me a all if he wants to stay in it, okay?
Viola: Okay. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEE-OTCH?
[laughs to herself]
Monique: [mimicks Viola] Nyenyenyenyenyeh?
Viola: She will do great things.
[Monique mistakes Viola for Sebastian]
Viola: Ow!
Monique: Eww... It's you. God you and your brother look scarily alike from the back. I think it's your total lack of curves.
Viola: Hey Monique, it's so good to see you too!
Monique: Hmm. I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he?
Viola: I don't know.
Monique: Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life. And tell him to give me a all if he wants to stay in it, okay?
Viola: Okay. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEE-OTCH?
[laughs to herself]
Monique: [mimicks Viola] Nyenyenyenyenyeh?
Viola: She will do great things.
Coach Dinklage: [after breaking up the fight on the soccer field] The rest of you! Get out there and play some real football... You bunch of girls!
Principal Gold: [trying to copy Coach Dinklage's authority and shout his speech through the megaphone] Alright the rest of you, get out there and play some real football like a bunch of girls!
Principal Gold: [trying to copy Coach Dinklage's authority and shout his speech through the megaphone] Alright the rest of you, get out there and play some real football like a bunch of girls!
Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Monique: Hello, Viola.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn't good.
Monique: And hello to you little... homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian's girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everybody's gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You were the one he dumped at the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: Nonononononono, he did not dump me. We're just going through a little bit of a rough patch.
Olivia: Oh? I heard he dumped you. He dumped you big. It was just like a big, huge dumping.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn't good.
Monique: And hello to you little... homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian's girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everybody's gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You were the one he dumped at the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: Nonononononono, he did not dump me. We're just going through a little bit of a rough patch.
Olivia: Oh? I heard he dumped you. He dumped you big. It was just like a big, huge dumping.
Coach Dinklage: At ease, Gentlemen. I've seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today. And that makes a coach proud. Now, I wanna split us up into first string and second string. You second-stringers, don't take it too hard. You're just as much part of this team as the first-stringers. Apart from, of course, playing the game part.
Coach Pistonek: Hi girls, heard the bad news.
Viola: Bad? It's a disaster!
Coach Pistonek: I know. Well if there's anything I can help you with, you just say the word.
Viola: As a matter of fact, there is. We want to try out for the boy's team.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: [laughs] Uh, anything besides that.
Viola: Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough!
Coach Pistonek: I don't know that that's a thing that I know.
Viola: All we're asking for is one shot.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: Girls, we have two weeks before school starts. Then we open against Illyria, a rivalry game. We have to win.
Viola: And we can help you win.
Justin: Hey, baby. What's going on coach?
Coach Pistonek: Umm, girls here want to try out for the team.
Viola: Bad? It's a disaster!
Coach Pistonek: I know. Well if there's anything I can help you with, you just say the word.
Viola: As a matter of fact, there is. We want to try out for the boy's team.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: [laughs] Uh, anything besides that.
Viola: Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough!
Coach Pistonek: I don't know that that's a thing that I know.
Viola: All we're asking for is one shot.
[Other girls agree]
Coach Pistonek: Girls, we have two weeks before school starts. Then we open against Illyria, a rivalry game. We have to win.
Viola: And we can help you win.
Justin: Hey, baby. What's going on coach?
Coach Pistonek: Umm, girls here want to try out for the team.
Justin: [kisses Viola] Ok, you are really getting good.
Viola: Aw, you too. I mean when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all.
Justin: I meant at soccer.
Viola: Aw, really?
Justin: Absolutely. You're already better than half the guys on my team.
Viola: Hmm... probably more than half.
[kisses justin]
Justin: What do you mean I couldn't kiss at all?
Viola: Don't worry, I've taught you well.
Viola: Aw, you too. I mean when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all.
Justin: I meant at soccer.
Viola: Aw, really?
Justin: Absolutely. You're already better than half the guys on my team.
Viola: Hmm... probably more than half.
[kisses justin]
Justin: What do you mean I couldn't kiss at all?
Viola: Don't worry, I've taught you well.
Duke: You know... it's crazy how wrong you can be about a person... just crazy... You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. You know what? Save it. We were suppose to be friends.
Viola: We are friends.
[Duke showes Viola/Sebastian against the wall]
Duke: You dont even know the meaning of the word.
Viola: We are friends.
[Duke showes Viola/Sebastian against the wall]
Duke: You dont even know the meaning of the word.
