Shanghai Knights Quotes
When a Chinese rebel murders Chon's estranged father and escapes to England, Chon and Roy make their way to London with revenge on their minds.
Chon Wang: It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open it.
Roy: What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
Chon Wang: No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.
Roy: Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!
Roy: What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says.
Chon Wang: No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message.
Roy: Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!
Chon Wang: The English are not very friendly.
Roy: They're just sore losers.
Chon Wang: What did they lose?
Roy: A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
Chon Wang: Never heard of it.
Roy: I'll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat 'em like a drum.
Roy: They're just sore losers.
Chon Wang: What did they lose?
Roy: A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon.
Chon Wang: Never heard of it.
Roy: I'll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat 'em like a drum.
Roy: [about Lin] Put her down! Put her down!
Lord Rathbone: Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
[American accent]
Lord Rathbone: Are you gonna kick my ass?
[normal voice]
Lord Rathbone: I've read about all your ridiculous exploits. I mean, just, how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would be amused by such cowboy drivel.
Roy: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. What's with the personal attacks? You don't see me making any comments about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent, or even your filthy, smutty sex books! Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me...
[Wu Chow whacks him on the side of the head with a cane]
Roy: AH! Why is it always the head with you people?
Lord Rathbone: Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?
[American accent]
Lord Rathbone: Are you gonna kick my ass?
[normal voice]
Lord Rathbone: I've read about all your ridiculous exploits. I mean, just, how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would be amused by such cowboy drivel.
Roy: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. What's with the personal attacks? You don't see me making any comments about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent, or even your filthy, smutty sex books! Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me...
[Wu Chow whacks him on the side of the head with a cane]
Roy: AH! Why is it always the head with you people?
[Handing Doyle Roy's watch]
Chon Wang: What else can you tell?
Doyle: The owner of this watch is a bad gambler and a lousy shot. Although he's cheated death several times, he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic and futile search for purpose and respect... oh, yes. He has a penchant for loose women.
Chon Wang: What else can you tell?
Doyle: The owner of this watch is a bad gambler and a lousy shot. Although he's cheated death several times, he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic and futile search for purpose and respect... oh, yes. He has a penchant for loose women.
Charlie Chaplin: [reading an invitation] "Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company at a gala affair celebrating her Majesty's 50th year on the throne."
Chon Wang: Sounds good.
Roy: Yeah, it doesn't address the issue of security. They're not just gonna let me and Chon waltz into the castle.
Charlie Chaplin: All you need is a proper disguise.
Roy: I do like a good disguise...
Chon Wang: Sounds good.
Roy: Yeah, it doesn't address the issue of security. They're not just gonna let me and Chon waltz into the castle.
Charlie Chaplin: All you need is a proper disguise.
Roy: I do like a good disguise...
Roy: There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge! People are dying for a good action flick.
Chon Wang: Chon Wang...
[sounds like "John Wayne"]
Chon Wang: ...movie star? It could work.
Chon Wang: Chon Wang...
[sounds like "John Wayne"]
Chon Wang: ...movie star? It could work.
Roy: Chon, I have a confession to make.
Chon Wang: You are in love with my sister?
Roy: Well, that, but I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.
Chon Wang: No?
Roy: Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. I wrote them.
Chon Wang: No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
Roy: That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.
Chon Wang: You wrote those lies?
Roy: I've always had low self-esteem.
Chon Wang: How many books did you print?
Roy: I self-published probably a million copies. We were actually second to the Bible that year.
Chon Wang: You are in love with my sister?
Roy: Well, that, but I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins.
Chon Wang: No?
Roy: Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. I wrote them.
Chon Wang: No, Sage McCallister wrote them.
Roy: That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister.
Chon Wang: You wrote those lies?
Roy: I've always had low self-esteem.
Chon Wang: How many books did you print?
Roy: I self-published probably a million copies. We were actually second to the Bible that year.
Lord Rathbone: Perhaps you could explain to me how Looney Lin managed to escape from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch of the most respected police force in the world.
Doyle: Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. She picked the lock using a deck of rather risqué playing cards. Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, and various pilfered undergarments. I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?
Lord Rathbone: Does your incompetence know no bounds?
Doyle: Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. She picked the lock using a deck of rather risqué playing cards. Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, and various pilfered undergarments. I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?
Lord Rathbone: Does your incompetence know no bounds?
