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New York City police detective John Shaft (nephew of the original 1970s detective) goes on a personal mission to make sure the son of a real estate tycoon is brought to justice after a racially-motivated murder.
John Shaft: You know me. It's my duty to please that booty!
Sergeant Tom Hannon: Hey, where the hell are you going, Shaft? John Shaft: To get laid, where the hell are you going?
Peoples Hernandez: You play golf? [Walter Wade Jr. nods] Peoples Hernandez: Golf is phat... Tiger Wooo, Tiger Wooo, I like him.
Theme: Who's the black private dick / That's a sex machine to all the chicks? / SHAFT! / Ya damn right! Theme: Who is the man that would risk his neck / For his brother man? / SHAFT! / Can you dig it? Theme: Who's the cat that won't cop out / When there's danger all about? / SHAFT! / Right On! Theme: They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother... / SHUT YOUR MOUTH! / I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. / THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
Peoples Hernandez: This is Egyptian Cotton, motherfucker... two-twenty thread. That's like half your shitty-ass paycheck, okay? John Shaft: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if the Pharaoh himself sent it to you, you knockoff-wearing motherfucker!
[Trey starts seizing on the gurney] Walter Wade, Jr.: Homeboy's got rhythm, huh? John Shaft: What? [Shaft punches Wade in the face] Walter Wade, Jr.: What? Was it something I said? I think my nose is broke! Lt. Kearney: I've been waiting for this. You are gone from this precinct! John Shaft: For what? John Shaft: [punches Wade again] For that?
[last lines] John Shaft: [on telephone] Vic, your case just busted wide open. Vic Androzzi: So close it for me. John Shaft: Cut the crap man, this is Shaft. Looks like you gonna have to close it yo'self, *shitty*! [cackles maniacally]
Walter Wade, Jr.: Do you know who my father is? John Shaft: No, do you?
John Shaft: Who lost your rap sheet for you? Big Raymond: You... John Shaft: Who got you that Jets tryout? Big Raymond: You... John Shaft: Who got you that gig at the club? Big Raymond: You. John Shaft: Who delivers ten times outta ten? Big Raymond: Alright, dawg... You.
Peoples Hernandez: You're not a cop anymore. John Shaft: Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?
Uncle John Shaft: You're too hot, man. You gotta step off a bit.
Shaft: Sorry, I can't make it. Ellie Moore: You got problems, baby? Shaft: Heh. Yeah, I got a couple of 'em. I was born black... and I was born poor.
Peoples Hernandez: My name is Peoples. You know why they call me that? Walter Wade, Jr.: [In a patronizing tone] 'Cuz you's always takes care of you's peoples? Peoples Hernandez: More or less.
Willy: Listen, Snow White. Me and you gonna tangle, sooner or later. Did you hear what I say? John Shaft: Why don't you stop playing with yourself, Willy? You ain't gonna do SHIT!
John Shaft: Don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble.
John Shaft: I know cats who'd take out whole zipcodes for that kind of cheese.
John Shaft: Yo, Luger, what's up with the "cornbread" talk, man? Luger: And your problem is what? John Shaft: Nazis with badges, that's my problem! Luger: [laughs] "Nazis?" You gotta lighten up, Shaft. I talk like this all the time... but I see your point. Maybe I should take an "ethnic sensitivity" workshop, huh? Fuck you! John Shaft: Maybe I should "workshop" my foot up your ass!
Peoples Hernandez: [In jail] What you in here for, man? Income tax evasion?
[Inside Rasaan's apartment] John Shaft: Man, this is some repugnant shit.
[Walter Wade Jr. walks into Peoples' house, trying to look cool] Peoples Hernandez: You tryin' to blend in or something? You look like a fucking duck hunter.
John Shaft: Warms my black heart to see you so concerned about us minority folks. Vic Androzzi: Oh come on Shaft, what is it with this black shit, huh? [Vic holds a black pen up to Shaft's face] Vic Androzzi: You ain't so black. John Shaft: [Holds a white coffee cup next to Vic's face] And you ain't so white either baby.
Bumpy Jonas: [answering his phone] Wrong Number. John Shaft: Don't bull me, man. I got the right number. This is Shaft. Bumpy Jonas: How'd the hell you get this number? John Shaft: Off a bathroom wall in the god damn subway!
Willy: Got to see if you're clean before you can see the Man. John Shaft: [laugh] Better get yourself six more helpers then, Willy. Willy: That's how it's done. John Shaft: Who searches you? Willy: Nobody. John Shaft: Then get the same cat to search us.
Vic Androzzi: Have a chair, John. Shaft: I don't like your chair.
John Shaft: You are one wise Caucasian, Vic.
John Shaft: I'm gonna fuck you up for making me run!
John Shaft: I thought the money didn't matter to you. Just getting your baby back. Bumpy Jonas: Money ALWAYS matters...
[first lines] John Shaft: [holding up his middle finger to a cab driver who is honking his horn at him] Up yours! Get out the way!
Willy: That's some cold shit, throwing my man Leroy out the window. Just picked my man up and threw him out the Goddamn window.
Ellie Moore: I love you. John Shaft: Yeah, I know. Take it easy.
Vic Androzzi: What'cha got? John Shaft: I got laid.
Shaft: I got to feeling like a machine, and that's no way to feel.
Mafia contact: I'm lookin' for a nigger named John Shaft. John Shaft: Just found him... wop.
John Shaft: When you lead your revolution, whitey better be standing still because you don't run worth a damn no more.
Shaft: Up yours, baby.
Peoples Hernandez: Stick to what I know? Stick to what I know? I'm a star. Yo soy el mayembe!
John Shaft: You're a cagey spook, Bumpy. Bumpy Jonas: You ride a tall horse, Mr Shaft.
Bumpy Jonas: [answering his phone] Wrong Number.
Peoples Hernandez: Puta, why you flinch?
Vic Androzzi: Call me when you get home. Shaft: I will. Vic Androzzi: [leaves, motions as if to close the door, and then... ] Close it yourself, shitty. [cackles]
John Shaft: This is Detective Vasquez. She's... Carmen Vasquez: She's unavailable at the moment.
John Shaft: I see you someplace I don't think you belong... I will kill you.
John Shaft: Hey, baby. Please close the door, huh? Woman from Bar: Hey, close it yourself, shitty.
John Shaft: [passing Carmen on his way toward gang members] Anybody lookin' to maintain their employment with the NYPD [draws his gun] John Shaft: might be in their best interest to leave now...
Bumpy Jonas: When will I hear from you? John Shaft: When I got something to say.
Bumpy Jonas: Wrong number. John Shaft: Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.
John Shaft: Watch your mouth, man. Ben Buford: I'll say any damn thing I want.
Peoples Hernandez: Yo Shaft, I'm gonna put so many lawyers in your ass, you're gonna think they opened a branch office up there.
John Shaft: It's Giuliani time!
Luger: [after robbing Walter in disguise] How'd I sound? John Shaft: How did you sound? Luger: "Freeze mofo I'll bust a cap in your dome" John Shaft: You are a pure notorious P.I.G, how much we got? Luger: [looking through the bag] forty two thousand , it's a lot of cash for a simple murder around here
Peoples Hernandez: You know in this neighborhood, I am the motherfucking king snake, but the thing of it is, I go downtown to take a girl out and show her the sights, I walk into a restaurant and my stomach is in a knot, my teeth is clenched, my hands are in a fist, I don't fit in down there, people look at me and size me up, so ten minutes into it I can't wait to come back home Walter Wade, Jr.: Ok Peoples Hernandez: I would kill to be you, go where you go, do what you do so this what I propose: the jewelry and shit, you go hock the flash and pay me the cash, I'm going to take it, but what I really want is for you to start taking me downtown with you, I want you to start taking me wherever you go Walter Wade, Jr.: You mean like hangout together? Take you to the Harvard club? What the hell are you talking about?
Peoples Hernandez: You got a boat? Walter Wade, Jr.: I had one Peoples Hernandez: What kind of boat you had? Walter Wade, Jr.: Boston Whaler Peoples Hernandez: You've been around the world right? Walter Wade, Jr.: [Nods] yeah Peoples Hernandez: You know something, I've got so much money, and I've never been on an airplane my whole God damn life Walter Wade, Jr.: [Pointing to Peoples' tattoo on his neck] let me ask you something? What's that mean? Peoples Hernandez: Five boroughs, five families, one love Walter Wade, Jr.: [Chuckles] Ok Peoples Hernandez: You're an interesting motherfucker, do you have a business card or something?
Walter Wade, Jr.: I need someone located Peoples Hernandez: "Located"? You mean found? Found then what? [Walter looks at the gun around Tattoo's belt] Peoples Hernandez: that's going to cost you Walter Wade, Jr.: [Takes out a money belt filled with jewelry] I had it all appraised it'll cash out to about forty thousand
Peoples Hernandez: [Telling Roselli and Groves about Walter Wade, Jr] This guy comes in here and his got his drawer stuffed with jewelry and he asked me if I could locate somebody? I say "yeah" because he's kind of like a celebrity but finding people is not my thing so here's what I propose: so why don't I sell contract to you? The guy says this shit will cash out to twenty grand I take half and you'll take half, it'll be the easiest money you can ever make
John Shaft: I get 50 bucks an hour... plus expenses.
Luger: [to Shaft] Why don't you pick a color? Black or blue? Carmen Vasquez: [to Luger] Hey, fuck you John Shaft: [to Luger] How about I make you both?
John Shaft: April Fool, motherfucker. Told you not to make me run!
Peoples Hernandez: When I say "me", "me ", is this [Opens the door to a room showing him half naked women packaging drugs] Walter Wade, Jr.: Oh Peoples Hernandez: I was you to front for me, get me some upscale customers Walter Wade, Jr.: If it's really important to you, you can tell everybody you've got a rich white boy on a rope I really don't care, I think you're too much of your own product, but drugs?, no fucking way
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Showing him his black eye] I got fucking mugged I have no money Peoples Hernandez: I hear you but the wheels are already in motion Peoples Hernandez: I guess you've got to earn it back Walter Wade, Jr.: How? Peoples Hernandez: [Fat Man hands him a bag filled with drugs] Ounces are a thousand eight balls are two eighty its already bagged and I'll tell you like I tell all my boys you cut it anymore than it already is you can say goodbye to repeat customers Walter Wade, Jr.: You've got to be shitting me Peoples Hernandez: You keep coming back we should be even Steven in six eight months