Rounders Quotes
A young man is a reformed gambler who must return to playing big stakes poker to help a friend pay off loan sharks.
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] In "Confessions of a Winning Poker Player," Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." It seems true to me, cause walking in here, I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking of how I lost it.
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] I've often seen these people, these squares at the table, short stack and long odds against them. All their outs gone. One last card in the deck that can help them. I used to wonder how they could let themselves get into such bad shape, and how the hell they thought they could turn it around.
[Mike's girlfriend has just left him over his broken promise not to play poker]
Worm: You know what always cheers me up?
Mike McDermott: No, what's that?
Worm: Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over.
Mike McDermott: Fuck it, let's go.
Worm: Don't tease me.
Mike McDermott: Let's play some cards.
Worm: Yes!
Worm: You know what always cheers me up?
Mike McDermott: No, what's that?
Worm: Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over.
Mike McDermott: Fuck it, let's go.
Worm: Don't tease me.
Mike McDermott: Let's play some cards.
Worm: Yes!
Mike McDermott: Uh, you know what? I got my five grand here. That's just fine by me. I'm going home.
Teddy KGB: Fine. It's a fucking joke anyway. After all, I am paying you with your money.
Mike McDermott: What did you say?
Teddy KGB: Your money... I am still up 20 grand... from this last time I stick it in you.
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] They're trying to goad me, trying to own me. But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money. I can leave now, even with Grama and KGB... and halfway to paying Petrovsky back. That's the safe play. I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either.
Teddy KGB: Fine. It's a fucking joke anyway. After all, I am paying you with your money.
Mike McDermott: What did you say?
Teddy KGB: Your money... I am still up 20 grand... from this last time I stick it in you.
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] They're trying to goad me, trying to own me. But this isn't a gunfight. It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money. I can leave now, even with Grama and KGB... and halfway to paying Petrovsky back. That's the safe play. I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either.
Mike McDermott: You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.
Store Clerk: Hey, lemme ask you a question. In the legal sense, can fuckin' Steinbrenner move the Yankees? Does he have the fuckin' right to just move them?
Mike McDermott: How should I know that?
Store Clerk: You didn't learn that yet?
Mike McDermott: No, we get to Steinbrenner in third year law school.
Store Clerk: Oh...
Mike McDermott: How should I know that?
Store Clerk: You didn't learn that yet?
Mike McDermott: No, we get to Steinbrenner in third year law school.
Store Clerk: Oh...
Mike McDermott: I never told anybody this, about eight nine months ago, I'm at the Taj it's late and I see Johnny Chan walk in and he goes and sits in the three hundred six hundred section and the whole place stops and everybody puts an eye on him, after a while there wasn't a crap going on because all the high rollers are over there watching and some of them playing but they're giving their money to him and say "oh", I played with the world champion", you know what I did?
Joey Knish: What?
Mike McDermott: I sat down
Joey Knish: You need fifty to sixty grand to play right in that game
Mike McDermott: I had six but I had to know
Joey Knish: what happened?
Mike McDermott: Played tight for an hour, folded mostly then I made a score
Joey Knish: With what? aces or kings?
Mike McDermott: Rags, I had nothing, but he raised and I decided I don't care about the money, I'm just going to out play the guy, I'm going to out play this guy, this hand, I'll re-raise
Joey Knish: Re-raise? You play right back at him?
Mike McDermott: Yeah, he comes back over the top at me trying bully me like I'm some tourist, I hesitate for like two seconds then I'll re-raise and he makes a move to his checks and he looks at me, check his cards and looks at me again, and he mucked it, I took it down
Mike McDermott: [Flash back narrates Johnny Chan] did you have it?
Mike McDermott: [Flash back narrates] I'm sorry John, I don't remember
Mike McDermott: I got up and walked to the cashier, I sat with the best in the world, and I won
Joey Knish: You made a fucking move on Chan you son of a bitch, so that's why you made that run at KGB's place
Mike McDermott: That's right I'll do it again if I can
Joey Knish: What?
Mike McDermott: I sat down
Joey Knish: You need fifty to sixty grand to play right in that game
Mike McDermott: I had six but I had to know
Joey Knish: what happened?
Mike McDermott: Played tight for an hour, folded mostly then I made a score
Joey Knish: With what? aces or kings?
Mike McDermott: Rags, I had nothing, but he raised and I decided I don't care about the money, I'm just going to out play the guy, I'm going to out play this guy, this hand, I'll re-raise
Joey Knish: Re-raise? You play right back at him?
Mike McDermott: Yeah, he comes back over the top at me trying bully me like I'm some tourist, I hesitate for like two seconds then I'll re-raise and he makes a move to his checks and he looks at me, check his cards and looks at me again, and he mucked it, I took it down
Mike McDermott: [Flash back narrates Johnny Chan] did you have it?
Mike McDermott: [Flash back narrates] I'm sorry John, I don't remember
Mike McDermott: I got up and walked to the cashier, I sat with the best in the world, and I won
Joey Knish: You made a fucking move on Chan you son of a bitch, so that's why you made that run at KGB's place
Mike McDermott: That's right I'll do it again if I can
Mike McDermott: What the fuck were you thinking?
Worm: I was trying to give us an edge
Mike McDermott: I had them
Worm: Look I'm sorry we got banged up, I took a shot and missed, it happens
Mike McDermott: Happens all the time around you
Worm: And it doesn't happen to you? You're the one that flushed his whole bank roll on one hand
Mike McDermott: Oh fuck you man, that was different
Worm: How is that different? What makes you so fucking special? Why are all your moves so smart and noble and I'm always the idiot piece of shit? You act like you're only one with any ambition
Mike McDermott: Then what's your ambition? I don't know, you tell me
Worm: I don't know, I don't think like that
Mike McDermott: No, you don't think
Worm: No, I don't think like you, you always think you can beat the game straight up, that's not me, and I'm always going to look for that edge, always
Mike McDermott: Alright, what's the edge now? We owe fifteen grand in a day and we're broke, what the fuck do we do?
Worm: That's easy, we get the fuck outta dodge
Worm: I was trying to give us an edge
Mike McDermott: I had them
Worm: Look I'm sorry we got banged up, I took a shot and missed, it happens
Mike McDermott: Happens all the time around you
Worm: And it doesn't happen to you? You're the one that flushed his whole bank roll on one hand
Mike McDermott: Oh fuck you man, that was different
Worm: How is that different? What makes you so fucking special? Why are all your moves so smart and noble and I'm always the idiot piece of shit? You act like you're only one with any ambition
Mike McDermott: Then what's your ambition? I don't know, you tell me
Worm: I don't know, I don't think like that
Mike McDermott: No, you don't think
Worm: No, I don't think like you, you always think you can beat the game straight up, that's not me, and I'm always going to look for that edge, always
Mike McDermott: Alright, what's the edge now? We owe fifteen grand in a day and we're broke, what the fuck do we do?
Worm: That's easy, we get the fuck outta dodge
Worm: [while base dealing] Who wants more? I'm in, I'm staging a late night comeback, a "late night rally", just to warn you
Vitter: [Grabs Worm's hand] Hold on there
Worm: What are you doing?
Vitter: Give me the deck
Worm: Relax don't get so agitated
Vitter: Looks like we got a rogue game here
Worm: A what?
State Trooper: What the hell is going on over here?
Vitter: [Referring to Worm] This son of a bitch is base dealing, I caught a hanger
Worm: A "hanger"? What are you saying? I don't even know what you're saying
State Trooper: His saying you're dealing off the bottom of the deck
Worm: Come on guys
Sean Frye: [Referring to Mike] What'd he give him?
Vitter: Seven of hearts
State Trooper: [to Mike and Worm] You boys working? Are you professionals?
Mike McDermott: No listen I was winning before this guy got here
State Trooper: Let the cards do the talking, if the seven didn't help you we'll listen to what you have to say
Worm: [Ozzie turns mike's cards over] hey, three of a kind you've Ozzie three sixes like...
Vitter: SHUT UP
State Trooper: [Vitter gives him the deck of cards and he shows the ace of spades on the bottom] One last thing
Worm: [All the state troopers stand up] Alright take it easy are you going to read us our rights at least?
Vitter: [Grabs Worm's hand] Hold on there
Worm: What are you doing?
Vitter: Give me the deck
Worm: Relax don't get so agitated
Vitter: Looks like we got a rogue game here
Worm: A what?
State Trooper: What the hell is going on over here?
Vitter: [Referring to Worm] This son of a bitch is base dealing, I caught a hanger
Worm: A "hanger"? What are you saying? I don't even know what you're saying
State Trooper: His saying you're dealing off the bottom of the deck
Worm: Come on guys
Sean Frye: [Referring to Mike] What'd he give him?
Vitter: Seven of hearts
State Trooper: [to Mike and Worm] You boys working? Are you professionals?
Mike McDermott: No listen I was winning before this guy got here
State Trooper: Let the cards do the talking, if the seven didn't help you we'll listen to what you have to say
Worm: [Ozzie turns mike's cards over] hey, three of a kind you've Ozzie three sixes like...
Vitter: SHUT UP
State Trooper: [Vitter gives him the deck of cards and he shows the ace of spades on the bottom] One last thing
Worm: [All the state troopers stand up] Alright take it easy are you going to read us our rights at least?
Professor Petrovsky: For generations, the men of my family have been rabbis. It was to be my calling. I was quite a prodigy. The elders said I had a 70-year-old's understanding of the midrahs by the time I was 14. But by the time I was finished with my studies I knew I could never be a rabbi.
Mike McDermott: Why not?
Professor Petrovsky: Because for all I understood of the Talmud, I never saw God there.
Mike McDermott: Why not?
Professor Petrovsky: Because for all I understood of the Talmud, I never saw God there.
Mike McDermott: It's plenty wise we know what we're holding and we know what you're holding
Judge Marinacci: The fuck you know what we all got
Mike McDermott: Summer clerkship in your office says I know what your holding
Judge Marinacci: I wouldn't bet with a job like that let's just say "I'll put you at the top of the list" if your right
Judge Marinacci: The fuck you know what we all got
Mike McDermott: Summer clerkship in your office says I know what your holding
Judge Marinacci: I wouldn't bet with a job like that let's just say "I'll put you at the top of the list" if your right
Professor Petrovsky: You're in trouble?
Mike McDermott: Yes sir, I am, not with the law, I owe
Professor Petrovsky: Gambling debt?
Mike McDermott: Yes, it's not mine, I vouched for the wrong guy, now it's on me
Professor Petrovsky: I understand, what will it take to be free of this?
Mike McDermott: I need fifteen thousand tonight
Professor Petrovsky: I'm not a wealthy man
Mike McDermott: I know, it kills me to ask you this, I don't have any other play, if you can help me at all
Professor Petrovsky: I hate to see you like this and I want to help you, if it must be tonight, ten is the best I can do
Mike McDermott: Will you do that?
Professor Petrovsky: Yes
[writes a check]
Professor Petrovsky: so you take this money and get yourself out of this trouble, you hear me?
Mike McDermott: I promise I'll pay you back
Professor Petrovsky: [nods] I know good luck
Mike McDermott: Yes sir, I am, not with the law, I owe
Professor Petrovsky: Gambling debt?
Mike McDermott: Yes, it's not mine, I vouched for the wrong guy, now it's on me
Professor Petrovsky: I understand, what will it take to be free of this?
Mike McDermott: I need fifteen thousand tonight
Professor Petrovsky: I'm not a wealthy man
Mike McDermott: I know, it kills me to ask you this, I don't have any other play, if you can help me at all
Professor Petrovsky: I hate to see you like this and I want to help you, if it must be tonight, ten is the best I can do
Mike McDermott: Will you do that?
Professor Petrovsky: Yes
[writes a check]
Professor Petrovsky: so you take this money and get yourself out of this trouble, you hear me?
Mike McDermott: I promise I'll pay you back
Professor Petrovsky: [nods] I know good luck
Mike McDermott: What can you do for me? I mean five hundred isn't even enough to get me started
Joey Knish: Five hundred won't help, what's two grand going to do?
Joey Knish: Five hundred won't help, what's two grand going to do? What kind of trouble you in?
Mike McDermott: With the worst kind, with the worst guy
Joey Knish: KGB?
Mike McDermott: Yeah
Joey Knish: Didn't I tell you? Never let that guy ahold of you?
Mike McDermott: You told me a lot of things
Joey Knish: Yeah I did, and you don't listen, I tell you to play within your means, you risk your whole bank roll, I tell you not to over extend yourself, to rebuild, so you don't have to hock for more, I was giving you a living, showing you the playbook I put together off my beats and that wasn't enough for you
Mike McDermott: This is the one time I don't need you to tell me how I fucked up, I know I fucked up, what I need from you is money, I need whatever money you can give me
Joey Knish: That's the thing, this time there is no money, I give you two grand what's that buy you? A day? No I give it to you I'm wasting it
Mike McDermott: That's fucking great
Joey Knish: You did it to yourself, you had to put it all on the line for some Vegas pipe dream
Mike McDermott: I took a risk, I took a risk, you see all the angles, and you never have the fucking stones to play one
Joey Knish: Stones? you little punk, I'm not playing for the thrill of fucking victory here, I owe rent, alimony, child support, I play for money, my kids eat, I got stones enough not to chase card actions of fucking pipe dreams of winning the world series on ESPN, but about the money I've got to turn my back, I've got to say no
Mike McDermott: That's fine I understand
Joey Knish: Five hundred won't help, what's two grand going to do?
Joey Knish: Five hundred won't help, what's two grand going to do? What kind of trouble you in?
Mike McDermott: With the worst kind, with the worst guy
Joey Knish: KGB?
Mike McDermott: Yeah
Joey Knish: Didn't I tell you? Never let that guy ahold of you?
Mike McDermott: You told me a lot of things
Joey Knish: Yeah I did, and you don't listen, I tell you to play within your means, you risk your whole bank roll, I tell you not to over extend yourself, to rebuild, so you don't have to hock for more, I was giving you a living, showing you the playbook I put together off my beats and that wasn't enough for you
Mike McDermott: This is the one time I don't need you to tell me how I fucked up, I know I fucked up, what I need from you is money, I need whatever money you can give me
Joey Knish: That's the thing, this time there is no money, I give you two grand what's that buy you? A day? No I give it to you I'm wasting it
Mike McDermott: That's fucking great
Joey Knish: You did it to yourself, you had to put it all on the line for some Vegas pipe dream
Mike McDermott: I took a risk, I took a risk, you see all the angles, and you never have the fucking stones to play one
Joey Knish: Stones? you little punk, I'm not playing for the thrill of fucking victory here, I owe rent, alimony, child support, I play for money, my kids eat, I got stones enough not to chase card actions of fucking pipe dreams of winning the world series on ESPN, but about the money I've got to turn my back, I've got to say no
Mike McDermott: That's fine I understand
Grama: You owe twenty five I'll take the rest in five days
Mike McDermott: Five grand a week and you keep the juice going we want what you want we want to square this thing but three days is impossible no one's saying "your not the man", just think of it as a business decision, he just got out let's put him on a plan
Grama: This is not the money store we're no negotiating I tell you how it works
Mike McDermott: Then I'm asking
Grama: [to Worm] you looking for some charity?
Worm: I need your fucking charity like I need your cock in my ass
Mike McDermott: Will you shut the fuck up?
Grama: It's too late for him to shut the fuck up
Mike McDermott: His good for it
Grama: If you think his good for it then it's on you too
Mike McDermott: Then it's on me too
Grama: Fifteen large five days or I start breaking things
Mike McDermott: Five grand a week and you keep the juice going we want what you want we want to square this thing but three days is impossible no one's saying "your not the man", just think of it as a business decision, he just got out let's put him on a plan
Grama: This is not the money store we're no negotiating I tell you how it works
Mike McDermott: Then I'm asking
Grama: [to Worm] you looking for some charity?
Worm: I need your fucking charity like I need your cock in my ass
Mike McDermott: Will you shut the fuck up?
Grama: It's too late for him to shut the fuck up
Mike McDermott: His good for it
Grama: If you think his good for it then it's on you too
Mike McDermott: Then it's on me too
Grama: Fifteen large five days or I start breaking things
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] Doyle Brunson says" the key to no limit is to put a man to a decision for all his chips" Teddy's just did it his representing aces the only hand better than my cowboys I can't call and just give him a chance to catch I can only fold if I believe him in a heads up match your stack is almost as important as the quality of your cards I chopped one of his legs off in the first hand now all I have to do is lean on him until he falls over
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] the rule is this: if you spot a man's tell, you don't say a fucking word I finally spotted KGB's and usually I'd let him chewing those Oreos until he was dead broke but I don't have that kind of time I've only got until morning not even Teddy KGB is immune to getting a little rattled
Mike McDermott: [Narrating] the rule is this: if you spot a man's tell, you don't say a fucking word I finally spotted KGB's and usually I'd let him chewing those Oreos until he was dead broke but I don't have that kind of time I've only got until morning not even Teddy KGB is immune to getting a little rattled
Grama: Where's your friend?
Mike McDermott: His gone
Grama: So you brought my money?
Mike McDermott: I'm a little short
Grama: How short?
Mike McDermott: The whole way
Grama: There must be some kind of story
Mike McDermott: As you can see I can't pay you
Grama: I can see you're banged up pretty good, you never should've vouched for that scumbag
Mike McDermott: Maybe not
Grama: You're leaving me no outs here
Mike McDermott: Why?
Grama: I can't trust that you're not playing me
Mike McDermott: I'm not the one working with a partner
Grama: You want to take it up with KGB you go right ahead otherwise you got one day
Mike McDermott: His gone
Grama: So you brought my money?
Mike McDermott: I'm a little short
Grama: How short?
Mike McDermott: The whole way
Grama: There must be some kind of story
Mike McDermott: As you can see I can't pay you
Grama: I can see you're banged up pretty good, you never should've vouched for that scumbag
Mike McDermott: Maybe not
Grama: You're leaving me no outs here
Mike McDermott: Why?
Grama: I can't trust that you're not playing me
Mike McDermott: I'm not the one working with a partner
Grama: You want to take it up with KGB you go right ahead otherwise you got one day
