Robots

Robots Quotes

In a robot world, a young idealistic inventor travels to the big city to join his inspiration's company, only to find himself opposing its sinister new management.

Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?
Fender: We, sir...
Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.
Crank: Ouch.
Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!
Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...
[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]
Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?
Crank: Did you count that one?
Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around? It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!
Fender: You consider me a friend?
Rodney Copperbottom: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
Crank: [Mr. Copperbottom is playing badly] Well there goes our happy ending.
Fender: Yo, it's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called junk.
Rodney Copperbottom: Well, then why is she called Aunt Fanny?
Fender: Couldn't call her Aunt Booty.
Fender: Oh, it used to be a lot worse. They used to have this giant hammer...
[Rodney screams]
Fender: Hey, they brought it back!
Watch: Don't buy us. We're fakes.
Fender: I know that sounds bad, but I'm just doing musical arm farts. You know how to do those? They're hard to do because we're made of metal, but that's where the skill comes in.
Fender: If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because... I'm leaving!
[runs away with Rodney's foot]
Fender: [to Rodney] You can bunk with me...
[in a campy voice]
Fender: we'll ignore the gossip!
Rodney Copperbottom: If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other.
Fender: What kind of signal would you want? You want something kind of subtle, like...
[Whispers gibberish]
Fender: Or...
[Barks loudly like a seal]
Fender: Oh, how about this?
Fender: [Very loudly] Caw-caw! Caw-caw! R-R-R-R-R-Ricola!
Rodney Copperbottom: Subtle.
Fender: Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can't make it here, welcome to the club.
Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?
Piper, Crank, Fender, Rodney Copperbottom, Lug, Cappy: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freeze, staring and then move again] No.
Crank: Actually, you're a little early.
Fender: Stick with me, kid. I know this town like the back of my hand.
[sees the back of his hand]
Fender: Hey, that's new.
[gets hit by the giant hammer]
Rodney Copperbottom: This is our moment to shine, to show them what we're made of.
Fender: In my case it's a rare metal called afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chicken... Buck-ah!
[lays an egg]
Fender: Whoa! Didn't know I could do that!
Mrs. Copperbottom: I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.
Herb Copperbottom: What instinct? He left us a note, "I'm leaving, I'll be at the train station."
[Herb has just been running through the town, yelling "I'm going to be a dad!" and runs into his house, where Mrs. Copperbottom is standing next to a window]
Mrs. Copperbottom: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.
Herb Copperbottom: Oh!
Mrs. Copperbottom: [holds up a box with a picture of a robot on it] But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.
Bigweld: You can shine no matter what you're made of.
Fender: [his arms have just fallen off] Oh, no, look at that, now they're arm wrestling.
[the arms are wrestling each other]
Fender: Could you please separate them? Hurry, my back itches.
Voice Box at Hardware Store: The Force is strong in this one.
Mr. Copperbottom: He's got your moms eyes and my dads nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts.
Cappy: [as they are being swept along by the tsunami of dominoes] What do we do?
Rodney Copperbottom: I don't know! This is a first for me!
[to Rodney]
Tim the Gate Guard: Boy, when you pick a lost cause, you really commit. Where do they make dreamers like you? Get lost, freak!
Fender: Is there anything for me?
Mailbox: Oh, I've got something for you.
[slaps Fender]
Mailbox: That's from my sister!
Fender: I recognize the handwriting.
Aunt Fanny: But fighting never solved anything.
Bigweld: Quitting's not so productive, either.
Crank: Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.
Rodney Copperbottom: Why do you have two noses?
Fender: One's for showin', one's for blowin'.
Rodney Copperbottom: Hey Fender.
[Rodney does arm farts]
Fender: Yeah Baby, let 'er rip!
[Rodney and Fender are doing arm farts]
Crank: What are you guys, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.
[Crank does arm farts]
Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.
[Piper does arm farts]
Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this...
[does BIG farts; Everyone is grossed out]
Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms!
Crank: Ugh, light a match!
Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor...
Lamppost: [the lamppost passes out]
Piper: Am I too late for the butt-whooping?
Crank: Actually your a bit early.
Piper: Great!
Fender: [to Rodney] You know, my last roommate jumped out THAT window.
Rodney Copperbottom: Crank, the idol of millions is gone, and no one seems to care. There should be an angry mob out there.
[angry mob runs past the window]
Fender: [Fender, Rodney and the others go out to investigate the mob] Wow! That was great, psychic friend! Now say, "Money should be falling from the sky."
Piper: I have a sister!
[Fender looks round after being at the chop shop]
Piper: [gasps] An ugly sister!
Piper: [about Aunt Fanny] She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but once she gets fartsy...
Ratchet: [after he's hit Bigweld over the head with the telephone] I'm as crazy as my mother!
Fender: [taking pictures of Rodney] Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes!
Fender: Oh, no!
Rodney Copperbottom: What?
Fender: We're going off the track! We're going to crash! I don't want to die!
[the sphere they are riding free falls and both scream; then the sphere lands in a catapult]
Fender: [laughing] I was just kidding! Put your head between your legs.
Aunt Fanny: [pushes Rodney into wall with large backside] Where's your friend, dear?
Fender: He's been rear-ended.
Bigweld: Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.
Madame Gasket: I try.
Fender: [Inside the Sweeper] Open the door! Open the door!
[the door opens on the chop shop]
Fender: Whoa! Close the doors! Close the doors!
Fender: [Fender's head has just detatched from his body] Happy now!
Rodney Copperbottom: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger!
Fender: I am not a mugger! I happen to beeeeeeeeee...
[Fender's head falls over]
Fender: ...a scrounger!
Ratchet: [as he is begging Bigweld not to fire him] The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! Wait... this isn't helping me!
Madame Gasket: Someone is fixing them! And they're laughing at you, Ratchet!
Ratchet: Who? And are you sure they aren't laughing *with* me?
Madame Gasket: Yes.
Tim the Gate Guard: [Rodney and Fender are flambouyantly dressed and trying to get into the Bigweld Ball by getting past Tim the Gate Guard] Uh, can I help you?
Fender: I think-a maybe you can. This is the Count Roderick von Broken Zipper. Formerly, Count Velkro! Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. Beat me until you are happy.
[Rodney slaps him]
Fender: He's happy. And I'm not feeling to bad myself.
Tim the Gate Guard: Uh, you're not on the list.
Fender: What? Once again.
[Rodney slaps him again]
Fender: Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why were not able to attend your little luau! But we are leaving in a huff!
Tim the Gate Guard: No, no! Go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?
Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I shall hit you on his behalf.
[Hits Tim, knocking him to the ground]
Tim the Gate Guard: Thank you, your grace!
Fender: Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.
Piper: By the way, the name's Piper. Rhymes with viper. Hiss!
Fender: Hey, guys! The sweepers! They're rounding up all the outmodes! Not them, us! And you'll never guess who's behind it all!
Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet.
Fender: Go on, guess. Come on, I ran all this way in cha-cha heels! Go ahead, take a stab!
Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet!
Fender: Ratchet!
Fender: You know Rodney, even if you know you had an disgorging day remember. There is another one coming tomorrow! You know my last roommate jumped out that window.
Mr. Gasket: So long, son. Good luck with your dastardly plans.
Rodney Copperbottom: Something's wrong. There's some-some highly polished jerk sitting in Bigweld's chair!
Tim the Gate Guard: Yeah, and you're sitting on the sidewalk, magentized!
Tim the Gate Guard: [laughs]
Madame Gasket: All right, break time
Madame Gasket: [Worker's look up surprised] All right, break time's over.
Rodney Copperbottom: But I don't want my picture taken.
Fender: You don't?
Rodney Copperbottom: No.
Fender: That's okay, there's no film in the camera.
Piper: Fender, get out of my room!
Fender: I'm not in your room. I am now. Now, I'm not. Am. Not. Am. Not...
Piper: [sternly] Get out of my room!
Aunt Fanny: And what's your name?
Rodney Copperbottom: [is mesmerized by her large derriere] I'm Rodney Bigbottom.
[beat]
Rodney Copperbottom: No, I mean - I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.
Rodney Copperbottom: [as the dominoes are falling in Bigweld's workshop] This is more elaborate than the TV show.
Fender: C'mon, work with me! Work with me! More pout, less pose. That's OK, inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up.
Rodney Copperbottom: Who wants to get fixed?
[All cheer, except for a dog, who cringes]
Fender: [singing] I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner!
Fender: [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm *alive*!
[singing voice]
Fender: Help!
Crank: Oh, man! This is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.
Bigweld: You know, your boyfriend here is quite the genius.
Cappy: Oh, he's not my... he is?
Rodney Copperbottom: When was the last time you got oiled?
Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.
Rodney Copperbottom: Hey! You're Tim from the TV show!
Tim the Gate Guard: That's me!
Rodney Copperbottom: Well, hey, Tim! Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be...
Tim the Gate Guard: Yeah, okay. What do you want?
Rodney Copperbottom: Huh? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor.
Tim the Gate Guard: Oh! Why didn't you say so? Stand back.
[Tim opens the gate; Rodney stands in awe]
Rodney Copperbottom: Thanks.
[Starts to go in, but the gate closes suddenly]
Rodney Copperbottom: What?
Tim the Gate Guard: I gotcha! You see, 'cause you were all excited, and then boom!
[laughs]
Tim the Gate Guard: All right, I had my laugh. Go on in.
[the gate opens; Rodney starts walking, but the gate closes again]
Rodney Copperbottom: What? Hey!
Tim the Gate Guard: [laughing] Now that's funny! The second time! You really think I'm going to let you in! But I'm not.
Fender: Back off, back off! This guys has his own dreams that won't become true!
Fender: [shouts] Aunt Fanny... We're home!
Ratchet: Take him for a drive. And bring me back his exact weight in paperclips!
Rodney Copperbottom: So, what are you guys doing today?
Fender: We're doing it.
Piper: What about you?
Rodney Copperbottom: Mr. Bigweld is missing and you're all just going to sit around and do nothing?
Fender: I think that's already been established.
Fender: His father's got one foot in the junkyard, and if they can't find new parts for him, he's only got a few miles left.
Ratchet: Now, let's get back to the business of sucking every last penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead.
Bigweld: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Lug: Ahhh... that new upgrade smell...
Bigweld: A device, a thing-a-ma-bob, a do-hickey?
Fender: [as his body is banging his head on the hardware store counter] I'm hurting me!
Bigweld: This isn't what I was thinking at all!
Fender: [while running down a conveyor belt after putting on a new pair of legs, which reveal they have a skirt on them] This is so wrong... this is *so wrong*!
Rodney Copperbottom: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.
Rodney Copperbottom: I'll take that as a no.
Mr. Gunk: Somebody scrape this crud off of me, and serve it to the customers.
Aunt Fanny: Say hello to my dimpled friend!
Lug: Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?
Crank: Lost weight? Look at... will you look at... He's a head in a basket!
Lug: I can never find pieces in my size.
Fender: I tell ya, the things that fall off of me... it's embarrassing!
Tim the Gate Guard: Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.
Rodney Copperbottom: Company ru... Then how do they hire new inventors?
Tim the Gate Guard: They don't! Those days are over. You want my advice, mmm... come back two years ago and the job is yours.
Fender: We've told you a hundred times...
[Talks with his hand]
Fender: Don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.
Piper: I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?
Rodney Copperbottom: But you're Bigweld. You can fix anything.
Bigweld: I used to think so. To me the company was about making life better, but to Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned, and outmode. Ratchet beat me, and he's gonna beat you.
Rodney Copperbottom: But...
Bigweld: The world you're looking for no longer exists. You missed it. Find some other foolish dream.
Broken Arm Bot: Hey, could you look at my arm?
[the arm comes off in Rodney's hand]
Rodney Copperbottom: Uh, nice grip.
Broken Arm Bot: Like iron!
Bigweld: [after surfing dominoes] Who's the king of the beach?
Fender: While at Robot City, guests of the Rusties - that' us - stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rustin' outside."
Aunt Fanny: Oh, what happened to your friend?
Fender: He got rear-ended.
Loretta Geargrinder: Until tomorrow.
Fender: I'll be counting the seconds. So far I'm up to four.
Bigweld: See a need, fill a need.
Ratchet: Now, Cappy, I want your department to push our new slogan. In fact, I'm moving you into the office right next to mine. We'll be working very, very closely together on this one. Won't that be fun?
Cappy: [Wryly] Oodles.
Fender: [Lug is holding his head] Why, I'd, I'd smack you if I had a hand.
[his body comes bouncing off buildings]
Fender: Wow, speak of the devil... here I come.
[the body falls on the floor]
Fender: Owww! Daddy!
Fender: I know this town like the back of my hand
[looks at the back of his hand]
Fender: hey thats new
Bigweld: Kid, if you're going to fight, I'm going in with you.
Rodney Copperbottom: You... you are?
Bigweld: Hey, who's the dame with the sweet keister?
Rodney Copperbottom: But why?
Bigweld: I don't know. I'm a big guy, and I like women with a large...
Rodney Copperbottom: No, no. Why are you going to help us?
Bigweld: Oh. Because, I want to grow up to be like you.
Fender: My name used to be Bumper, but had to change it when we moved into the country.
Fender: [takes a picture of Rodney] Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.
Rodney Copperbottom: For what?
Fender: A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City.
[takes another picture]
Fender: There, I've captured your second moment. That's another 50 dollars.
[keeeps on taking photos]
Fender: loving it. Loving looving it
Rodney Copperbottom: I don't want my picture taken?
Fender: You don't
Rodney Copperbottom: No
Fender: That's okay. Theres no film in the camera. Would you like to purchase a map of the stars homes
[realizes he's gone]
Fender: hey where did he go
Fender: That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot!
[Fender's body is pointing the wrong direction]
Fender: Psst! He's over there, moron!
[Fender's headless body points toward Rodney]
Fender: That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off!
Forge: Parts, man! I need parts!
Rodney Copperbottom: You don't look that...
[Forge falls apart]
Rodney Copperbottom: ... bad?
Ratchet: This is gonna get *greasy*!
[after they have assembled Rodney]
Mrs. Copperbottom: Honey?
Mr. Copperbottom: What?
Mrs. Copperbottom: What's that extra piece?
Mr. Copperbottom: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra...
[Takes a good look at the piece]
Mr. Copperbottom: [chuckles] We did want a boy, right?
[He takes the piece and a hammer]
Mr. Copperbottom: This won't hurt a bit, son.
[He hammers the piece in, Rodney cries]
Tim the Gate Guard: Can I help you?
Fender: [Spanish accent] I think maybe you can. This is Count Roderick von Brokenzipper. Formerly known as Count Velcro. Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. So sorry, your Grace. Beat me until you're happy.
[Rodney smacks him]
Fender: He's happy, and I'm not feeling too bad myself.
Aunt Fanny: [on Cappy] I used to have a figure like that.
Cappy: Are you all right, sir?
Bigweld: Considering I'm an old fat guy who just fell onto the floor, I'm *fantastic*!
Fender: [hears Rodney's signal] Oh, my darling! That is the call of the deep doo-doo bird. I must fly!
Bigweld: [while being repaired by Rodney, ? la 2001: A Space Odyssey]
[sings]
Bigweld: Daaaisy... Daaaaissy... Giive mee yoour aaaanswer truuuue.
Loretta Geargrinder: Thanks for walking me home.
Fender: Thanks for carrying me up that hill!
Ratchet: Why be you when you can be new?

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