Open Season

Open Season Quotes

Boog, a domesticated 900lb. Grizzly bear finds himself stranded in the woods 3 days before Open Season. Forced to rely on Elliot, a fast-talking mule deer, the two form an unlikely friendship and must quickly rally other forest animals if they are to form a rag-tag army against the hunters.

Elliot: Ian's right, I'm a loser
Boog: No you're not a loser
Elliot: Yes I am!
Boog: No you're not!
Elliot: Yes!
Boog: No!
Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck. What do you call that?
Boog: Ahhh... a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... I look like a bear, I talk like a bear but I can't fish, I can't climb a tree, I can't even go in the woods!
Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers.
Elliot: I have a glass eye.
Boog: I can't snap.
Elliot: I thought log was a colour.
Boog: I can't see my feet!
Elliot: I killed a man!
[Both laugh]
Elliot: [singing, to the tune of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"] Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/ He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee/ One day the elf could take no more/ so he went to bang on the rude dwarf's door/ and what do you know, they suddenly both were marrrrried.
Beaver #1: Hey, what you got?
Beaver #2: Wood. What you got?
Beaver #1: Wood. You wanna trade?
[about the coffee he found in the dumpster]
Elliot: Yuck. Yuck. Yuck! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's like freedom in a cup!
Elliot: [when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot: Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.
[Boog reluctantly goes to the bush]
Elliot: Show us your GRRR face, nature boy!
Shaw: [enters his cabin and looks in his refrigerator] Somebody's been eatin' my candy!
Shaw: [sees his overturned chair] Somebody's been sitting in my chair!
Shaw: [goes to his toilet] Somebody... FORGOT TO FLUSH! Aaargh!
McSquizzy: That was just a warning, alright? Try it again, I'll be kicking your furry, brown bahookie!
Boog: The Woo-Hoo bar. She's my lady. Smooth and creamy. So bad, I shouldn't, yet I will.
Shaw: It walks... like a man!
Ian: Herd, circle formation!
[the other deer surround Boog]
Ian: You pinheads, that's an oval! More... circuley.
Boog: When I'm a bear-skin rug, they can walk all over me. Until then, I ain't going down without a fight.
Boog: [holds Elliot over a cliff] Take a good look around, Elliot. What's missing?
Elliot: Wait, don't tell me, I know this one...
Boog: Timberline is missing!
Elliot: Oh, I was just going to say that.
Boog: My garage is missing. My breakfast, lunch and dinner are missing! My life is missing, and it's all... your... fault!
Elliot: What are you going to do?
[drops him into his hand]
Elliot: AHHHHHHHH!
[realizes that he wasn't falling]
Elliot: Ha ha! you're funny. I was like, "No way" and then I was like, "Uh-huh!" Ha ha ha ha!
[Boog throws him over his shoulder]
Elliot: I get it. You're like a pet.
Boog: I'm nobody's pet!
Elliot: [Holding up a water dish that reads "Boog"] Right.
Shaw: How far does this conspiracy go? How many animals are in on it? God bless America! I hope the bald eagle hasn't turned!
[explaining the woods to Boog]
Elliot: Okay, Forest 101: These tall stick things are called trees. The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.
McSquizzy: Oy, you late for Sunday school? This is McSquizzy's turf. Nobody messes with McSquizzy, coz that's me!
Boog: What?
McSquizzy: Touch a needle on this tree, and I'll give you such a doing!
Boog: You and what army?
[an army of sqirrels appears]
Squirrels: Oy!
Boog: Oh, that army.
Elliot: [stuck in the ground] Ok, righty tighty
[turns left]
Elliot: Leeefffttty loosey
[turns right]
Beth: You're in big trouble mister!
Boog: Shush!
[Boog passes out]
McSquizzy: Aw, Mister Happy didn't go off.
Gordy: Shaw, open season isn't for three days. What is that buck doing on your hood?
Shaw: It ain't my fault. I hit him while driving.
Gordy: Where, on the interstate?
[flashback to Shaw veering off the interstate and hitting Elliot]
Shaw: [chuckling] Sorta.
Boog: The woods is no place for a bear!
McSquizzy: Mess not with the Fuzzytail Clan, protectors of the weak, crusaders of the righteous, guardians of the pine.
Elliot: I call them Woo-hoos. Like in... WOO-HOO!
[as a truck blows up]
Hunter: Hey Earl, ain't that your truck? Oh, that's a bummer.
Boog: [stumbles into garage and sees Dinkleman staring from his bed] What are you looking at? I told you not to wait up!
Shaw: Don't trust him. Pets are double agents. the moment you turn your backs, he'll shiv you.
Bobbie: Oh, no he can't. We had him fixed.
Mr. Weenie: I've been living a lie!
[Boog has just found out that he's in the woods]
Boog: Where's home? It's gone! Someone stole it!
Gordy: You're not his mother.
Beth: I'm not mothering him.
[Boog taps on window]
Beth: Excuse me a moment. Go to bed, Boog!
Boog: All right, fish. Give it up for Boog!
Boog: [Eating animal crackers] Yeah, and the giraffes taste almost exactly like the elephants. That's messed up.
Gordy: You know, the longer you wait, the harder it's gonna to be for him to adapt.
Beth: Oh, I'm sure he'll... that is, I think he'll...
Gordy: And the harder it's gonna be for you to leave him.
Reilly: Yo, O'Toole!
O'Toole: Yeah, boss?
Reilly: I want you to cantilever that cedar on a bias by the north side.
O'Toole: Huh?
Reilly: Put a twig in the hole.
O'Toole: Oh.
Reilly: Rookie.
Reilly: It's a pet! He'll give us away!
Mr. Weenie: I've been living a lie!
[Tears off his sweater]
Mr. Weenie: Take me with you!
Boog: We've been going around in circles!
Elliot: Cir-cle. One time around.
McSquizzy: Ged off my trees ya buck-toothed sporran!
Beth: Shaw! That guy really chaps my khakis.
Bobbie: Alright, Mr. Weenie, Mama's gonna go take a dip.
Mr. Weenie: Good. Mama's getting kind of gamey.
McSquizzy: Is this a private fight or can anybody join? Because McSquezzy wants in.
Boog: Good, 'cause we're gonna need your nuts!
Elliot: And your acorns, too!
Reilly: [about Boog] Hey, guys. Check it out. The largest carnivore in North America. The grizzly bear.
Elliot: And he's a good dancer. We're gonna be in a show.
Elliot: [standing with his butt in the air, his antler stuck to the ground] Hey, Boog! Look, no hands! Though I think I'm getting a sunburn.
Boog: All right, where's home?
Elliot: Or maybe it's a moonburn. Check it out.
[Boog slaps him in the butt]
Elliot: Ow!
[while Boog and Beth are hugging each other]
Reilly: What's he doing?
McSquizzy: Is he not gonna maul her?
Elliot: No! She's his mom! She's taking us home.
Porcupine: Every buddy?
Ian: Boog? What's that short for? Booger?
Elliot: You know, I've been thinking, we should have a secret handshake, and like nicknames and stuff. Like, I can call you Boogster, and you can call me the Incredible Mr. E. You like that? I just made it up.
[repeated line]
Porcupine: Buddy!
Boog: Get out of here!
Elliot: Hey, I took you out of the garage. You should thank me.
Boog: Thank you?
Elliot: You're welcome.
Elliot: I feel a little light-headed.
[His one remaining antler falls off]
Elliot: Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a DUCK!
Boog: [Helium voice] Hello, idiot.
Elliot: [Helium voice] That's Elliot.
Elliot: [Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.
Boog: [after waking up in the wild face-to-face with a flower] Ooooohhh... pretty

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