One Hundred and One Dalmatians

One Hundred and One Dalmatians Quotes

When a litter of dalmatian puppies are abducted by the minions of Cruella De Vil, the parents must find them before she uses them for a diabolical fashion statement.

Roger: Look, Anita! Puppies everywhere!
Anita: There must be a hundred of them!
Nanny: One, two, three and four. Seven, eight, nine.
Roger: Two more. Nine plus two is eleven.
Nanny: Thirty Six over here!
Roger: Thirty Six and eleven? That's forty seven.
Anita: Fourteen. Eighteen, Rog.
Roger: Uh, eh sixty five!
Nanny: Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!
Anita: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Six more.
Roger: Well, let's see, now. That's eighty four and fifteen plus two. A hundred and one!
Anita: A hundred and one? My, where did they all come from?
Roger: Oh ho, Pongo, you old rascal!
Cadpig: Old Thunderbolt's the greatest dog in the whole world.
Patch: He's even better than Dad.
Penny: No dog's better than Dad.
Pongo: Perdy?
Perdita: That witch. That devil woman. She wants our puppies. That's all she's after.
Pongo: Don't worry, Perdy. They're on to her. Nothing's going to happen to our puppies.
Perdita: But what does she want with them? She can't possibly love them. Oh, Pongo. I was so happy at first, but now I - oh, I-I wish we weren't having any!
Rolly: I'm hungry, Mother. I'm hungry.
Perdita: Now Rolly, you've just had your dinner.
Rolly: But I am, just the same. I'm so hungry I could eat a a whole elephant.
Pongo: Everybody here? All fifteen?
Patch: Twice that many, Dad. Now there's 99 of us!
Lucky: I'm tired, and I'm hungry. And my tail's froze. And my nose is froze. And my ears are froze. And my toes are froze.
Danny: The humans have tried everything. Now it's up to us dogs, and the twilight bark.
Cruella: Fifteen. Fifteen puppies! How marvelous! How marvelous! How perfectly ugh! Oh, the devil take it, they're mongrels. No spots! No spots at all! What a horrid little white rat!
Nanny: They're not mongrels! They'll get their spots. Just wait and see.
Anita: That's right, Cruella. They'll have their spots in a few weeks.
Cruella: Oh, well, in that case I'll take them all. The whole litter. Just name your price, dear.
Anita: I'm afraid we can't give them up. Poor Perdita, she'd be heartbroken.
Cruella: Anita, don't be ridiculous. You can't possibly afford to keep them. You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves.
Anita: Well, I'm sure we'll get along.
Cruella: [laughing] Yes, I know! I know! Roger's.
[laughing]
Cruella: Roger's songs!
[laughs again]
Lucky: Mother, Dad! Patch pushed me in the fireplace.
Patch: Lucky pushed me first.
Lucky: Did not!
Patch: Did too!
Lucky: Did not!
Patch: Did too!
Lucky: Did not!
[Lucky sticks his tongue out at Patch]
Perdita: Please, children, don't quarrel.
Pongo: [Pongo and Perdita have just reunited with their puppies] Lucky! Patch! Pepper! Freckles! And Rolly, you little rascal!
Rolly: Did you bring me anything to eat?
Anita: Cruella, isn't that a new fur coat?
Cruella De Vil: My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn't?
Cruella De Vil: [Trying to write a check to buy the puppies] Come now, I'm being more than generous. Blast this pen!
[Shakes it]
Cruella De Vil: Blast this wretched, wretched pen!
[Splatters ink all over Pongo and Roger]
Cruella: You idiots! You fools! You imbeciles!
[bursts out crying]
Jasper: Ahhh, shut up!
[the pups run past Horace and Jasper while covered in soot]
Horace: Look, Jasper. Do you suppose they disguised themselves?
Jasper: [jokingly] Say now, Horace, that's just what they did! Dogs is always paintin' 'emselves black!
[bops Horace on his head]
Jasper: You idiot!
Patch: That old Dirty Dawson! The yellow livered old skunk!
[growls]
Patch: I'd like to tear his gizzard out.
Perdita: Why, Patch, where did you ever hear such talk? Certainly not from your mother!
[looks at Pongo suspiciously]
Pongo: [smiles guiltily at Perdy]
Seargent Tibs: Yes, sir. Righto, sir. Right away, sir!
[Pongo sees Perdita for the very first time]
Pongo: Well, now that's a bit more like it! The most beautiful creature on four legs! Oh, now, if only the girl.
[looks at Anita]
Pongo: Well! She's very lovely too. It was almost too good to be true. I'd never find another pair like that, not if I looked for a hundred years.
[first lines]
Pongo: My story begins in London, not so very long ago. And yet so much has happened since then, that it seems more like an eternity.
Jasper: Now, you've been gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lady. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me to.
[Nanny tries to throw a teapot at Jasper, but it misses and breaks]
Jasper: Not even for a cup of tea.
Anita: Roger, I admit she's eccentric, but she isn't a thief!
Roger: Well, she's still #1 suspect in my book!
Anita: Well, she's been investigated by Scotland Yard. What more do you want?
Roger: Oh, I don't know, darling. I don't know.
Anita: [as the soot covered Dalmatians barge into the Radcliffe house] What on earth?
Roger: What's with the Labradors?
Nanny: No, they're all covered in soot. Look, here's Lucky!
Roger: [wipes off Pongo's face] Why, Pongo Boy, is that you? Oh-ho! Pongo! Pongo! It's Pongo!
Anita: [wipes off Perdita's face] And Perdy! Oh, my darling!
Nanny: [dusts off the puppies one by one] And Rolly, and Penny, and Freckles! Oh, ho, ho! They're all here!
Roger: It's a miracle!
Anita: Oh Rog, what a wonderful Christmas present!
Pongo: What? 99? Where did they all come from?
Perdita: What on earth would she want with so many?
Spotty: She's gonna make coats out of us!
Perdita: She couldn't!
Seargent Tibs: That's right. Dog skinned coats.
Colonel: Oh, dog skinned coats. Oh, come now, Tibs!
Seargent Tibs: But it's true, sir.
Patch: Horace and Jasper are going to pop us off and skin us!
Perdita: She's a devil! A witch! Oh, what'll we do?
Pongo: We have to get back to London somehow.
Patch: What about the others? What'll they do?
Pongo: Perdy, we'll take them home with us. All of them.
[the puppies start wagging their tails]
Pongo: Our pets would never turn them out.
Pongo: It was plain to see that my old pet needed someone, but if it were left up to Roger, we'd be bachelors forever. He was married to his work writing songs. Songs about romance of all things. Something he knew absolutely nothing about.
Cruella De Vil: I've got no time to argue. I tell you, it's got to be done tonight!
[Turns off television set]
Cruella De Vil: Do you understand? Tonight!
Horace: But they ain't big enough.
Jasper: You couldn't get half a dozen coats out of the whole kaboodle.
Seargent Tibs: [whispering] Coats? Dog skin coats?
Cruella De Vil: Then we'll settle for half a dozen!
[Jasper coughs]
Cruella De Vil: We can't wait! The police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight!
Horace: How're we gonna do it?
Cruella De Vil: Any way you like. Poison them. Drown them. Bash them in the head. You got any chloroform?
Jasper: Not a drop.
Horace: And no ether, either.
Jasper: Either!
[Hits Horace over the head with bottle]
Cruella De Vil: I don't care how you kill the little beasts, but do it, and do it now!
Jasper: Aw, please, miss. Have pity, will you? Can't we see the rest of the show first?
Horace: We want to see "What's My Crime?"
[Cruella takes Jasper's bottle causing him to cough and throws it into the fireplace, where it explodes; she slaps both of them in the face]
Cruella De Vil: Now listen, you idiots! I'll be back first thing in the morning. And the job better be done or I'll I'll I'll call the police! Do you understand?
[She slams the door behind her; a piece of plaster falls of the ceiling and on Horace's head]
Horace: I think she means it, Jasper.
Lucy: Towser, what's going on? What is it? What's all the gossip?
Towser: 'Taint no gossip, Lucy. It be all the way from London.
Lucy: You don't say!
Towser: Fifteen puppies stolen!
Lucy: There's no puppies around here, not since Nellie's last litter and they all are grown.
Towser: Well, then we'd best send the word along. It be up to me to reach the Colonel! He be the only one in barking range.
Lucy: You'll never reach him at this hour.
Towser: Well I can try! I'll bark all night if I have to.
Cruella De Vil: [on the phone with Jasper] Jasper! Jasper, you idiot! How dare you call here?
Jasper: But we don't want no more of this here! We want our bootle! We'll settle for half!
Cruella De Vil: Not one shilling until the job is done! Understand?
Horace: Jasper! Jasper!
[shows newspaper]
Jasper: [to Cruella] But it's here in the blinkin' papers! Pictures and all!
Cruella De Vil: Hang the papers! It'll be forgotten tomorrow!
Horace: I don't like it, Jasper. I.
Jasper: [to Horace] Ahh, shut up, you idiot!
Cruella De Vil: [shouts] What?
Jasper: [to Cruella] Oh, no! Not you, Miss! I mean Horace, here!
Cruella De Vil: Why, you imbecile!
Horace: I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.
Jasper: Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of bootle.
Horace: Yes, but I've been thinking.
Jasper: You've been thinking? Now look here, Horace! I warned you about thinking! I've got the nog for this job, so let's get on with it!
[Cruella is reading the newspapers headlining the capture of the Dalmatian puppies]
Cruella De Vil: [reads one headline] "Dognapping!" Tsk, tsk, tsk. Can you imagine such a thing?
[reads another headline]
Cruella De Vil: "Fifteen Puppies Stolen". They are darling little things.
[she looks at the photos in the papers of the Radcliffs and their Dalmatians]
Cruella De Vil: Anita and her...
[laughs]
Cruella De Vil: and her bashful Beethoven, pipe and all!
[laughs]
Cruella De Vil: Oh, Roger, you are a fool!
[laughs]
Cruella: When can the puppies leave their mother? Two weeks? Three weeks?
Roger: Never.
Cruella: What?
Roger: W-w-we're n-not s-selling t-the puppies. N-n-not a sing - a single one. Do you understand?
Cruella: Anita, is he serious? I really don't know Roger.
Anita: Well Cruella, he seems...
Cruella: Surely he must be joking!
Roger: No, no, no. I-I-I mean it. You're-you're not getting one. N-n-not one. And that's - that's final!
Cruella: Why, you horrid man! You - you - All right, keep the little beasts for all I care!
[she rips up the cheque]
Cruella: Do as you like with them! Drown them!
[she walks up to Anita]
Cruella: But I warn you, Anita, we're through. I'm through with all of you! I'll get even. Just wait. You'll be sorry! You fools! You - you idiots!
Cruella De Vil: Anita, darling!
Anita: How are you?
Cruella De Vil: Miserable, darling, as usual, perfectly wretched.
Pongo: Perdita, darling, are you all right?
Perdita: Oh, of course, dear. After all, dogs were having puppies long before our time.
Nanny: What's the matter with you two? You got cloth ears? I said you're not coming in here!
Jasper: Ho, ho, ho! She's a regular old totter, ain't she, Horace? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Nanny: Don't you dare go up there, you big long-legged lumox!
Rolly: I'm not sleepy. I'm hungry.
[the Colonel and Seargent Tibs are still waiting for Pongo and Perdita]
Captain: Any news, Colonel?
Colonel: No. Not a blasted thing. They're lost or captured, or something or other. Who knows what?
Seargent Tibs: Colonel, here comes a car!
Colonel: Oh, come now, Tibs! Don't be ridiculous! They wouldn't be driving.
Danny: [echoing] Good luck, Pongo. If you lose your way, contact the barking chain. They'll be standing by!
Roger: Oh, must be Cruella, your dearly devoted old schoolmate. Cruella De Vil. That's it!
[sings]
Roger: Cruella De Vil / Cruella De Vil / If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.
Anita: Oh, Roger!
Roger: To see her is to take a sudden chill / Cruella, Cruella / She's like a spider waiting for the kill.
Anita: Roger, she'll hear you.
Roger: Look out for Cruella De Vil.
Jasper: Hey look, Horace! Watch me pot His Lordship smack on the conk!
Pongo: Perdy, I've got an idea!
[rolls around in soot]
Perdita: Pongo, what on earth?
Pongo: Look! I'm a Labrador! We'll all roll in the soot! We'll all be Labradors!
Labrador: Say! That is an idea!
Pongo: Come on, kids! Roll in the soot!
Penny: You mean you want us to get dirty?
Pepper: Did you hear that, Freckles? Dad wants us to get dirty.
Cadpig: Mother, should we?
Perdita: [sighs] Do as your father says.
Pepper: This'll be fun!
Cadpig: I always wanted to get good and dirty!
Pongo: Perdy, I'm afraid it's all up to us.
Perdita: Oh, Pongo. Isn't there any hope?
Pongo: Well, yes. There's the twilight bark.
Perdita: The twilight bark? But dear, that's only a gossip chain.
Pongo: Darling, it's the very fastest way to send news. And if our puppies are anywhere in the city, the London dogs will know. Now we'll send the word tonight when our pets take us for a walk in the park.
Roger: At first you think Cruella is a devil / But after time has worn away the shock / You come to realize / You've seen her kind of eyes / Watching you from underneath a rock.
Anita: You're no help.
Roger: This vampire bat, this inhuman beast / She ought to be locked up and never released / The world was such a wholesome place until / Cruella, Cruella De Vil.
[the dalmatians are hiding from Jasper and Horace under a bridge across a frozen creek]
Jasper: Aw, they gotta be around here somewhere.
Horace: Jasper, I've been thinking.
Jasper: Now, Horace!
Horace: But what if they went down the froze-up creek so as not to leave their tracks?
Jasper: Oh, Horace, you idiot! Dogs ain't that smart.
Colonel: They say the ol' place is haunted or bewitched or some such fiddle faddle.
Seargent Tibs: Fiddle faddle and rot, sir.
Colonel: Just the same, Sergeant, use extreme caution. No telling what sort of hocus pocus you might run into.
Pongo: As far as I could see, the old notion that a bachelor's life was so glamorous and carefree was all nonsense. It was downright dull.
Roger: [singing] Ti tum ti ta ti / Ta tum ti ta tum.
[whistles]
Roger: Do you like my new song?
Anita: Ta tum ti ta tum. Such clever lyrics.
Roger: Melody first, my dear, and then the lyrics. Hmmm?
Colonel: [decoding the Twilight Bark] One long howl... two short... one yip and a woof.
Seargent Tibs: Two yips, sir.
Captain: What's the word, Colonel?
Colonel: It's from London.
Seargent Tibs: Then it must be important!
Colonel: Yes, yes, well I'll get the rest of it.
[barks, listens]
Colonel: Sounds like a number! Three fives are thirteen...
Seargent Tibs: Uh, that's fifteen, sir.
Colonel: Fifteen, of course fifteen!
[listens again]
Colonel: Yes, dot, spot, spotted puddings... poodles... no, puddles.
Captain: [confused] Puddles, sir?
Colonel: Fifteen spotted puddles stolen? Oh, balderdash!
Anita: Oh, Roger, you are an idiot.
Truck Driver: [sees Cruella driving like a maniac] Hey, lady! What in thunder are you tryin' to do? Crazy woman driver!
Jasper: [after locking Nanny in the attic] Hey! Horace, me lad! I've got a sneaky suspicion we're not welcome here!
Lucky: We gave them the slip!
[slips]
Lucky: Didn't we, Dad?
Horace: [Jasper is drinking] Hey, Jasper! Come on now, give us a swig. Just a short one?
Jasper: Now Horace, this hogwash ain't fit for a fancy gent like yourself. Besides, you'd get crumbs in it, ya cabbage head!
Horace: All right! Guzzle the whole works, and I hope it gives ya cobby wobbles, that's what!
Jasper: I ain't gonna hurt ya.
Horace: But I thought we was gonna pop 'em off.
Jasper: Shh, shut up!
Roger: We'll buy a big place in the country. We'll have a plantation. A Dalmatian plantation!
Anita: Oh, Roger, that's truly an inspiration.
Nanny: It'll be a sensation!
[laughs]
Roger: We'll have a Dalmatian plantation. A Dalmatian plantation, I say.
[Jasper picks up Tibs thinking that it's a bottle. Tibs screeches]
Jasper: Hey look, Horace! We have a visitor, it's a tabby cat!
[Tibbs run over to the piano and slams the lid down, with Horace's head inside the piano]
Jasper: How about we make him a tabby cat stew!
[Tibs runs towards the wall]
Jasper: [sneaking up on Tibs holding a bottle] Or a cat casserole...
[chuckles]
Jasper: [throws bottle at Tibs] ... a la Mode!
[Tibs escapes the room through a hole in the wall by the door as the bottle smashes against the wall]
Pongo: Thank you, Seargent, Colonel, Captain.
Perdita: Bless you all.
Pongo: How can we ever repay you?
Colonel: Oh, nothing at all. All in the line of duty.
Seargent Tibs: That's right, sir. Routine.
Pongo: [on Roger] Oh, he's intelligent enough, as humans go; and I think you could say Roger is a rather handsome animal in his way...
TV Announcer: Don't miss next week's exciting episode. Who will triumph?
Patch: Ol' Thunder always wins!
Horace: We're from the Gas Company.
Jasper: [elbows him] 'Lectric! 'Lectric!
Horace: Uh, Electric Company.
Freckles: Missed him! Missed him by a mile!
Jasper: [as Pongo's pulling his pants down] Hey, Horace! They're fighting dirty!
Cruella De Vil: Well, any sign of them?
Jasper: Not so much as a blooming footprint. And we've been up and down every blicking road in the county.
Horace: We're froze stiff. We're giving up.
Cruella De Vil: Oh, no, you don't! We'll find the little mongrels if it takes till next Christmas. Now get going! And watch your driving, you imbeciles! Do you wanna get nabbed by the police?
Anita: Oh, it'll be at least three weeks. No rushing these things, you know.
Cruella De Vil: [chuckles] Anita, you're such a wit.
[calls Pongo]
Cruella De Vil: Here dog, here. Here, dog.
Pongo: [Growls at Cruella angrily]
Pongo: [on Nanny] Such a kind, understanding soul. You know, at times she seems almost canine.
Pongo: It was a beautiful spring day. Tedious time of the year for bachelors.
Pongo: Perdy? We need to get these little nippers off to bed if we're going for a w-a-l-k.
Freckles: We wanna go too, Mother.
Wizzer: Can we, mother? Can we?
Salter: We never get to go.
Perdita: Come along, children. Bedtime.
Patch: But we're not a...
[yawns]
Patch: ... bit sleepy. We wanna go for a walk in the park.
Wizzer: Dad, can we?
Pongo: Better do what your mother says.
Cruella De Vil: Well what have we here?
[looking at the snow]
Cruella De Vil: So they thought they could outwit Cruella?
[Honking car horn]
Cruella De Vil: Jasper! Horace! Here's their tracks heading straight for the village!
Jasper: Blimey! It's them, all right.
Cruella De Vil: Work your way south on the side roads. I'll take the main road.
[Driving off]
Cruella De Vil: See you in Dinsford!
Pongo: That's the stuff! The blacker the better!
Cruella: [over the phone] Oh, Anita, what a dreadful day. I just saw the papers. I couldn't believe it.
Anita: Yes, Cruella, it was quite a shock.
Roger: What does she want? Is she calling to confess?
Anita: Roger, please!
Roger: Oh, she's a sly one, she is!
Quizmaster: Now, Mr. Fauncwater, if the panel fails to guess your unusual crime in ten questions, you will win a two-week vacation at a fashionable seaside resort, all expenses paid. That is, of course, after you've paid your debt to society.
Cruella: [phone rings] Hello?
Jasper: I'll skin every one of them little spotted hyenas, if it's the last thing I do.
Anita: Oh, I'd like a nice fur, but there are other nice things...
Cruella De Vil: Sweet, simple Anita! I know, I know! This horrid little house is your dream castle! And poor Roger is your bold and fearless Sir Galahad!
[laughs]
Anita: Oh, Cruella...
Cruella De Vil: And then of course, you have your little spotted friends...
[She peers at a picture of Pongo and Perdita and blows smoke around it]
Cruella De Vil: Yes I must say, such perfectly beautiful coats...
Jasper: The little twerps! Giving us the slip! And after we took so much care of them! That's gratitude for ya!
[as Tibs and the puppies are chased by the Baduns]
Colonel: Sergeant? I say, sergeant!
Seargent Tibs: [stops and salutes] Sorry sir, no time to explain, busy sir!
[resumes running]
Nanny: The puppies are here! The puppies are here!
Roger: How many?
Nanny: Eight.
Roger: Eight?
[Pongo barks]
Roger: Pongo boy! Eight puppies!
Nanny: Ten.
Anita: Eleven!
Nanny: Eleven!
Roger: Eleven? Eleven puppies! Pongo, you old rascal!
Nanny: Wait a minute now. Wait a minute... Thirteen! No, no, no, fourteen. Oh, fifteen!
Roger: Fifteen?
Nanny: [chuckles to Pongo] And the mother is doing fine, love.
[Pongo walks around like he's drunk]
Roger: Why, Pongo boy, that's marvelous! It's fabulous! What a litter!
Nanny: [enters with a puppy under a blanket] Fourteen. Just fourteen. We lost one.
[hands it to Roger]
Nanny: Oh, the poor little thing.
[the room goes silent]
Roger: Oh, Pongo, boy, it's just one of those things. And yet... and yet I wonder...
[Roger starts rubbing the puppy for a little while, until suddenly, it starts to move]
Roger: Look, Pongo!
[the puppy is alive]
Roger: Anita! Nanny! Fifteen! We still have fifteen!
Anita: Oh, the dear thing is alright!
Roger: See? He's just as good as new!
Anita: Can you imagine, Rog? Fifteen puppies!
Jasper: There's a new act just been passed in parliament. Comes under the heading of "Defence of the Realm Act", it's article 4, section 29, it's very important, you see, it's the law, and it's for your safety, ma'am.
Nanny: Well, I don't care what Parliament realm, or whatever it is, says. You're not coming in here, not with the mister and missus gone.
Nanny: Be off with you, you big... you big weasel!
Jasper: Now you've gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lady. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me to.
[Nanny throws a teapot at him, but he dodges and it smashes against the door]
Jasper: Not even for a cup of tea.

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