No Strings Attached Quotes
A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more.
Emma: I can't stop thinking about him.
Katie: Who? Adam?
Emma: Yeah. I know it's over and I'm looking. It's just that no one is as.
Katie: [interrupts] Tall?
Emma: He's so tall.
Katie: So tall.
Emma: And he's so, like.
Katie: Happy?
Emma: Annoyingly happy, all the time. But he has this.
[pauses]
Emma: He has the best heart.
Katie: Who? Adam?
Emma: Yeah. I know it's over and I'm looking. It's just that no one is as.
Katie: [interrupts] Tall?
Emma: He's so tall.
Katie: So tall.
Emma: And he's so, like.
Katie: Happy?
Emma: Annoyingly happy, all the time. But he has this.
[pauses]
Emma: He has the best heart.
Adam: [answers phone] Hello?
Emma: Hi. It's Emma Kurtzman from Camp Weehawken.
Adam: Yes. What is it?
Emma: So my sister's getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow and, I don't know. I heard your show was tonight. Congratulations.
Adam: Thank you.
Emma: I know this is random. I just, um, I miss you. I miss you so much.
Adam: Ok. I don't know what to say. You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding and she looks happy and everyone is happy and you're not
Emma: I thought.
[pauses]
Emma: I don't know what I thought. I guess I wanted to hear your voice. I mean, I know we broke up but.
Adam: [interrupts] Emma. We didn't break up. We never started. Look, I gotta go. I'm still at work. Have fun at the wedding and tell your sister congratulations for me. Bye.
[hangs up]
Emma: [looks at phone] Aw fuck.
Emma: Hi. It's Emma Kurtzman from Camp Weehawken.
Adam: Yes. What is it?
Emma: So my sister's getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow and, I don't know. I heard your show was tonight. Congratulations.
Adam: Thank you.
Emma: I know this is random. I just, um, I miss you. I miss you so much.
Adam: Ok. I don't know what to say. You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding and she looks happy and everyone is happy and you're not
Emma: I thought.
[pauses]
Emma: I don't know what I thought. I guess I wanted to hear your voice. I mean, I know we broke up but.
Adam: [interrupts] Emma. We didn't break up. We never started. Look, I gotta go. I'm still at work. Have fun at the wedding and tell your sister congratulations for me. Bye.
[hangs up]
Emma: [looks at phone] Aw fuck.
Emma: This isn't really my place. I mean, who am I? I just have sex with your son sometimes.
Adam: Yes she does!
Emma: But, there is really no reason for you to bring a child into this world since you're acting like children already.
Vanessa: That was really mean.
Emma: Yeah, I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy. Because given the choice between Adam and his dad. Given the choice between Adam and anyone, really, I'd choose Adam. Every time.
[to Adam]
Emma: Do you want to get out of here?
Adam: Yeah. Fuck this.
Emma: Oh, by the way. It's the best sex of my life.
[yells]
Emma: Great Scott!
Adam: Yes she does!
Emma: But, there is really no reason for you to bring a child into this world since you're acting like children already.
Vanessa: That was really mean.
Emma: Yeah, I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy. Because given the choice between Adam and his dad. Given the choice between Adam and anyone, really, I'd choose Adam. Every time.
[to Adam]
Emma: Do you want to get out of here?
Adam: Yeah. Fuck this.
Emma: Oh, by the way. It's the best sex of my life.
[yells]
Emma: Great Scott!
Adam: So, what's up with not calling me back?
Emma: I'm not good at this stuff.
Adam: At what? Talking?
Emma: Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff. If we were in a relationship I would become a weird scary version of myself. My throat starts constricting. The walls start throbbing. It's like a peanut allergy, like an emotional peanut allergy.
Adam: Well, I can't date you either. You're not my dad's type.
Emma: I'm not good at this stuff.
Adam: At what? Talking?
Emma: Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff. If we were in a relationship I would become a weird scary version of myself. My throat starts constricting. The walls start throbbing. It's like a peanut allergy, like an emotional peanut allergy.
Adam: Well, I can't date you either. You're not my dad's type.
Adam: I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.
Shira: Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
Adam: I may have. Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Oh...
[takes out a CD]
Adam: I also made you this.
[hands it to Emma]
Adam: To help soothe your womb.
Patrice: It's a mix!..."Even Flow." "Red, Red Wine."
Shira: "Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
Emma: Adam. You made me... a period mix?
Guy: That's so romantic!
Patrice: Frank Sinatra, "I've Got the World on a String"!
Adam: It's a classic.
Shira: Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
Adam: I may have. Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Oh...
[takes out a CD]
Adam: I also made you this.
[hands it to Emma]
Adam: To help soothe your womb.
Patrice: It's a mix!..."Even Flow." "Red, Red Wine."
Shira: "Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
Emma: Adam. You made me... a period mix?
Guy: That's so romantic!
Patrice: Frank Sinatra, "I've Got the World on a String"!
Adam: It's a classic.
Sandra Kurtzman: You know I worry about you sometimes.
Emma: Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman: No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Emma: So?
Sandra Kurtzman: I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me.
[pauses]
Sandra Kurtzman: I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.
Emma: [teary] Okay.
Emma: Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman: No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Emma: So?
Sandra Kurtzman: I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me.
[pauses]
Sandra Kurtzman: I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.
Emma: [teary] Okay.
Katie: [answers phone] Hey! How did it go? Did you find him?
Emma: Yeah, he was with a girl. It's his girlfriend. And I was in a bush.
Katie: Oh crap.
[pauses]
Katie: Are you still there?
Emma: [crying] Yeah.
Katie: Okay, get in your car and drive away. How much money do you have on you?
Emma: Uh, like 10 bucks.
Katie: Okay, the box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79. You're gonna need two boxes.
Emma: [crying harder] I lost him!
Katie: I'm so sorry. I love you.
Emma: I know.
[hangs up]
Emma: Yeah, he was with a girl. It's his girlfriend. And I was in a bush.
Katie: Oh crap.
[pauses]
Katie: Are you still there?
Emma: [crying] Yeah.
Katie: Okay, get in your car and drive away. How much money do you have on you?
Emma: Uh, like 10 bucks.
Katie: Okay, the box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79. You're gonna need two boxes.
Emma: [crying harder] I lost him!
Katie: I'm so sorry. I love you.
Emma: I know.
[hangs up]
Adam: My dad invited me to dinner and he's bringing Vanessa. You have to come with me.
Emma: No, I don't. I just worked 14 hours. I'm not gonna meet your parents.
Adam: You know what? Just help me. These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
Emma: [slaps Adam] Feel that?
Adam: Yeah. I felt that.
Emma: No, I don't. I just worked 14 hours. I'm not gonna meet your parents.
Adam: You know what? Just help me. These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
Emma: [slaps Adam] Feel that?
Adam: Yeah. I felt that.
Adam: Hey!
Emma: What?
Adam: Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
Adam: Go on a date with me.
Emma: You're heavily sedated.
Adam: Come on,it's... It's one date. Just do it.
Emma: Why? So I can wear make up and act perfect all night?
Adam: Yeah. I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books and our favorite TV shows. I'll pay for everything and you can reward me with an over-the-jeans cock rub. Like a real date.
Emma: Is that really what you want?
Adam: This Friday.
Emma: What?
Adam: Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
Adam: Go on a date with me.
Emma: You're heavily sedated.
Adam: Come on,it's... It's one date. Just do it.
Emma: Why? So I can wear make up and act perfect all night?
Adam: Yeah. I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books and our favorite TV shows. I'll pay for everything and you can reward me with an over-the-jeans cock rub. Like a real date.
Emma: Is that really what you want?
Adam: This Friday.
Katie: Mom is so excited. She was like screaming and crying last night! Oh, and she's going to fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dress.
Emma: [interrupts] Who? Bones? Who's Bones? Katie, who's Bones?
Katie: He's mom's friend. I wasn't supposed to tell you about him.
Emma: She has a boyfriend named Bones? What is he a drifter?
Katie: No!
Emma: Why didn't she tell me?
Katie: Emma, you're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
Emma: What's that supposed to mean?
Katie: Just, it's true.
Emma: [interrupts] Who? Bones? Who's Bones? Katie, who's Bones?
Katie: He's mom's friend. I wasn't supposed to tell you about him.
Emma: She has a boyfriend named Bones? What is he a drifter?
Katie: No!
Emma: Why didn't she tell me?
Katie: Emma, you're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
Emma: What's that supposed to mean?
Katie: Just, it's true.
Emma: Dr. Metzner? Adam, what's going on? What happened?
Dr. Metzner: He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
Emma: You texted me that you were dying.
Adam: It really hurt.
Dr. Metzner: I gave him some Hyrdocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller. You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home. And here is a prescription for an anti-inflammatory.
[hands to Emma]
Dr. Metzner: Don't worry, you're in good hands. Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
Emma: No! I'm not his girlfriend.
Adam: She is not my girlfriend.
Dr. Metzner: Oh sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact. My mistake. Oh by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show. Great Scott! It's funny stuff.
Adam: I'll tell him you said that.
[pops pill]
Dr. Metzner: He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
Emma: You texted me that you were dying.
Adam: It really hurt.
Dr. Metzner: I gave him some Hyrdocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller. You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home. And here is a prescription for an anti-inflammatory.
[hands to Emma]
Dr. Metzner: Don't worry, you're in good hands. Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
Emma: No! I'm not his girlfriend.
Adam: She is not my girlfriend.
Dr. Metzner: Oh sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact. My mistake. Oh by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show. Great Scott! It's funny stuff.
Adam: I'll tell him you said that.
[pops pill]
Emma: The height difference! When we stand next to each other it looks like he's kidnapping me.
Patrice: You always do this. You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you. And I date guys who have real problems. I date guys who steal my credit card and then they tell me it's my fault because I left it out. You find these perfect guys and then you're like, it will never work he's too happy.
Emma: What's up, Dr. Metzner!
[shocked]
Emma: Did I just say what's up to Steven Metzner?
Patrice: That was really hard to watch.
Emma: Look I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship, but I just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old t-shirts.
Patrice: You always do this. You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you. And I date guys who have real problems. I date guys who steal my credit card and then they tell me it's my fault because I left it out. You find these perfect guys and then you're like, it will never work he's too happy.
Emma: What's up, Dr. Metzner!
[shocked]
Emma: Did I just say what's up to Steven Metzner?
Patrice: That was really hard to watch.
Emma: Look I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship, but I just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old t-shirts.
Shira: You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
Emma: No. Things were getting too intense so we decided not to see each other until we hook up with other people.
Shira: Okay. Yes. Good! We are getting laid tonight. This is going to be like Sideways only you're Paul Giamatti and I'm the guy who gets laid.
Emma: I can't get laid?
Shira: No. Tonight is about me, Emma. I'm feeling hot. I'm feeling good. I'm wearing bikini bottoms because my other underwear is dirty. Alright, we're hot. You feel hot?
Emma: [shrugs] No one threw up on me today.
Shira: We're sluts, Emma. We're dirty, dirty sluts!
Emma: Okay.
Shira: Remember, we're sluts!
Emma: No. Things were getting too intense so we decided not to see each other until we hook up with other people.
Shira: Okay. Yes. Good! We are getting laid tonight. This is going to be like Sideways only you're Paul Giamatti and I'm the guy who gets laid.
Emma: I can't get laid?
Shira: No. Tonight is about me, Emma. I'm feeling hot. I'm feeling good. I'm wearing bikini bottoms because my other underwear is dirty. Alright, we're hot. You feel hot?
Emma: [shrugs] No one threw up on me today.
Shira: We're sluts, Emma. We're dirty, dirty sluts!
Emma: Okay.
Shira: Remember, we're sluts!
Young Adam: So, I'm pretty good at archery.
Young Emma: That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine and your time machine breaks and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
Young Adam: You're funny, it's weird.
Young Emma: Yeah. I'm weird.
Young Adam: Me too.
Young Emma: Yeah, well everyone loves you and your dad's like famous or something.
Young Adam: My parents are getting a divorce. That's why I had to go to camp.
[cries]
Young Emma: Are you crying?
Young Adam: No.
Young Emma: Look, I'm not really an affectionate person. People aren't meant to be together forever.
Young Adam: You think so?
Young Emma: Yeah.
Young Adam: Can I finger you?
Young Emma: No.
Young Emma: That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine and your time machine breaks and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
Young Adam: You're funny, it's weird.
Young Emma: Yeah. I'm weird.
Young Adam: Me too.
Young Emma: Yeah, well everyone loves you and your dad's like famous or something.
Young Adam: My parents are getting a divorce. That's why I had to go to camp.
[cries]
Young Emma: Are you crying?
Young Adam: No.
Young Emma: Look, I'm not really an affectionate person. People aren't meant to be together forever.
Young Adam: You think so?
Young Emma: Yeah.
Young Adam: Can I finger you?
Young Emma: No.
Adam: So, did I just pass out on your couch?
Emma: No. Then you did this thing. It was like, a dance?
Adam: Dance?
Emma: Yeah, like.
[impersonates Adam's dance]
Adam: I shook my dick at you?
Emma: Yeah.
Adam: Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
Emma: No, no. It was exciting. It was like, you were cheering while you were doing it. You were like, "look at my dick!"
Adam: Did you look at it?
Emma: Yeah I looked. It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
Adam: Nice?
Emma: Seems kind of like carefree.
Emma: No. Then you did this thing. It was like, a dance?
Adam: Dance?
Emma: Yeah, like.
[impersonates Adam's dance]
Adam: I shook my dick at you?
Emma: Yeah.
Adam: Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
Emma: No, no. It was exciting. It was like, you were cheering while you were doing it. You were like, "look at my dick!"
Adam: Did you look at it?
Emma: Yeah I looked. It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
Adam: Nice?
Emma: Seems kind of like carefree.
Adam: You know, I don't want to freak you out, but I'd love to hang out with you in the daytime sometime.
Emma: It's not really possible. I have no time. I work 80 hours a week doing 36-hour shifts. What I need is someone who's going to be in my bed in 2 a.m. who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
Adam: I hate breakfast.
Emma: Do you want to do this?
Adam: Do what?
Emma: Use each other for sex at all hours of the day and night, nothing else.
Adam: [soundbite of music] Yeah, I could do that.
Emma: Good.
Emma: It's not really possible. I have no time. I work 80 hours a week doing 36-hour shifts. What I need is someone who's going to be in my bed in 2 a.m. who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
Adam: I hate breakfast.
Emma: Do you want to do this?
Adam: Do what?
Emma: Use each other for sex at all hours of the day and night, nothing else.
Adam: [soundbite of music] Yeah, I could do that.
Emma: Good.
Adam: [to Shira] Listen, I want you to know that I respect you.
Shira: Thank you!
Adam: Normally I would remember the name of someone that I've
Shira: [interrupts] What? Oh my God. Did you think we had sex? We did not have sex!
Guy: Hey Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Adam: Did I?
Guy: You did.
Adam: Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
Guy: No. When we met you weren't wearing pants.
Shira: Thank you!
Adam: Normally I would remember the name of someone that I've
Shira: [interrupts] What? Oh my God. Did you think we had sex? We did not have sex!
Guy: Hey Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Adam: Did I?
Guy: You did.
Adam: Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
Guy: No. When we met you weren't wearing pants.
