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An anthology of 5 different cab drivers in 5 American and European cities and their remarkable fares on the same eventful night.
Paris Driver: Don't blind people usually wear dark glasses? Blind Woman: Do they? I've never seen a blind person.
Yoyo: What's you name, man? Helmut Grokenberger: Helmut Grokenberger. [pointing to his cab license] Helmut Grokenberger: Here, you can read it. That's me. Yoyo: Helmet? Helmut Grokenberger: Helmut. Yoyo: That's your name? Helmut Grokenberger: Yeah. Yoyo: Ha ha ha ha ha. That's a fucked up name to be namin' your kid! Helmet! See, 'cause in English, a helmet would be like, you know, like something you would wear on your head, you know? You a... a helmet! Ha ha ha! In English, that would be like callin' your kid, uh, "Lampshade" or some shit like that: 'Hey, Lampshade! Come here and clean up your room!' Ha ha ha ha ha! Helmut Grokenberger: So, what's your name? Yoyo: Yoyo. Helmut Grokenberger: What? Yoyo: Yoyo. That's my name. Helmut Grokenberger: ...is Ihr Name? Yoyo: What? Yoyo. Helmut Grokenberger: Yoyo. Yoyo. [laughing] Helmut Grokenberger: Yoyo. Yoyo, das ist Spielzeug für Kinder. Yoyo: It ain't got nothin' to do with that. It's my name. Yoyo. Helmut Grokenberger: It's a toy for kids, Yoyo. Yoyo: Ain't got nothin' to do with that, man. Helmut Grokenberger: Okay. Your name Yoyo, my name Helmut. Yoyo, Helmut. It's good.
Mika: You called a taxi? Man #1: No, we called a garbage truck. But you'll have to do the job.
Angela: Well, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! Yoyo: Look, Angela, just shut up! Angela: No, you shut up! Don't you be tellin' me to shut up! Yoyo: Shut up! Angela: You shut up! Yoyo: No, you shut up! Yoyo: [frustrated] Shit! [he unzips his jacket] Angela: You know what your fuckin' problem is, Yoyo? You don't realize you're wearin' your ass on your head!
Helmut Grokenberger: [Yoyo and Helmut happen to be wearing markedly similar winter hats] We have the same... we have the same hat. Yoyo: What? Helmut Grokenberger: The same hat. Yoyo: No, no no, mine's different. Helmut Grokenberger: Oh no, it's the same hat! Yoyo: Mine's different, man! Helmut Grokenberger: [pointing to the front of the hat] This is different, here. Yoyo: Mine's-mine's the newest/latest, m-mine's fresh! Helmut Grokenberger: No, the ear things here. The same! Here... Yoyo: Naw, naw man, look mine is the, the hype! Helmut Grokenberger: What is this? Hype? Yoyo: The hype. Helmut Grokenberger: What's a hype? Yoyo: It's fresh! Helmut Grokenberger: Fresh? Fresh hat? Yoyo: It's the jammin', the newest/latest. Helmut Grokenberger: Fresh hat! That sounds good, fresh hat! Yoyo: ...right.
Paris Driver: Okay, if you're so smart, let me ask you a question. What color am I? Blind Woman: I don't give a fuck about colors! Paris Driver: But people have different colors of skin. Blind Woman: Look, I don't care if you're green or blue like a carrot! For me the word color doesn't mean anything. I feel colors... but you'd never understand that!
Driver: If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.
Yoyo: Get the fuck out of here! That's like you name your kid "Lampshade."
Victoria Snelling: [trying to make a phone call while the cab's radio's blasting] Will you hold on a second please? Miss - would you please, uh, just turn the music off? Corky: [condescendingly turning it off] Sure, Mom. Victoria Snelling: Thank you.
[when Mika is waking up his passed-out customer] Mika: Hey, Aki, wake up! Man #3: Who the fuck are you? And where the fuck am I? Mika: You're in a fucking taxi, fucking close to your home, and you owe me for the fucking ride!
Helmut Grokenberger: [objecting to Yoyo's driving the cab] No, no, it's... Yoyo: What you mean 'No?' Helmut Grokenberger: It's not allowed! Not allowed! Yoyo: Look, yeah, it's allowed! This is New York!
[Mika has just dropped off last of his drunken passengers] Mika: Are you sure you know where you are? Man #3: Yes. Helsinki. [Mika nods and drives away]
Paris Driver: I work from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m., so don't fuck with me in my own taxi! I don't give a shit about you, Ambassador, OK? Passenger #1: Can't we have some fun? Passenger #2: We've had champagne and we're happy... Paris Driver: No, you don't have fun in my taxi! It's my place of business, not your fucking playground! Okay, get out!