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After they are forced to live next to a fraternity house, a couple with a newborn baby do whatever they can to take them down.
Pete: He puts his dick in your mouth while you were asleep, bitch! Assjuice: Uh-uh, I wasn't asleep.
Teddy Sanders: We're throwing a Robert De Niro party. Pete: You call the cops, you violate the circle of trust, Focker. Mac Radner: Who are you? Garf: I'm Sam Jackson from Jackie Brown. Scoonie: [pause] Hoah! Garf: Hooah! Kelly Radner: That's actually Al Pacino. Garf: The Path of the righteous man. Mac Radner: That's the wrong Sam Jackson speech.
Pete: Do you think maybe we've gone too far? I'm a child of divorce and I sympathize with them. Teddy Sanders: My parents love each other, and I think it's hilarious.
Assjuice: Do you know how many bj's they promised me? Assjuice: Infinite bj's. They promised me infinite bj's
Teddy Sanders: You make the store more approachable. Mac Radner: Like, I'm more of an attainable goal? Teddy Sanders: Yeah, you're like Relaxed Fit.
Officer Watkins: You called about your neighbors? Mac Radner: No. Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.
Paula: Let's make a baby! Jimmy: Yes, that will solve all our problems.
Pete: Bros before hoes Pete: Junk before Trunk Teddy Sanders: Balls before dolls Pete: Padres before I sleep with two Madres Teddy Sanders: Brad Pitt before Grab Glit Pete: These nuts before skinny sl*** Teddy Sanders: M********* before ask her to date Pete: Beef stew before watching The View Teddy Sanders: Male erection before One Direction Pete: Mario and Luigi before Thelma and Laweezie Teddy Sanders: Bert and Ernie before Squirt and Spermy Pete: Man purses before regular purses Teddy Sanders: Sports before genital warts Pete: John Madden before Jasmine from Aladdin
Jimmy: [Assjuice puts the glasses on] He looks like J.J. Abrams. He look good. He looks okay.
Mac Radner: I'll call my mother she'll know what to do. Kelly Radner: Do not call your mother! Jesus, you Jews and your fucking mothers!