MythBusters

MythBusters Quotes

A weekly documentary in which two Hollywood special effects experts attempt to debunk urban legends by directly testing them.

Jamie: I don't think our death ray is working. I'm standing right in it, and I'm not dead yet.
Adam: I think this is the strangest position I've ever been in on this show.
Kari: [quietly] Notice how he qualifies it with "on this show".
[discussing the lethality of paper-mache arrows]
Adam: Just thinkin' this one through from a mechanical standpoint... I'd be totally pleased with two inches of penetration.
Jamie: Generally, I prefer a little bit more.
Salvatore: [mixing explosive chemicals in order to explode pants] Frank, why are you standing so far away?
Frank Hausman: Because I want to live.
Salvatore: I guess the second question is, why am I standing so close?
Adam: I reject your reality, and substitute my own.
Jamie: [Jamie is holding a duck] Quack, damn you!
Adam: He looks like he's trying to collect a loan from the duck. Duck loan collection agency!
[in a mobster accent]
Adam: We want to talk to you about some outstanding feed!
[Adam gets upset with Jamie and walks away]
Jamie: Adam needs a cookie.
Jamie: [in anticipation of a massive explosion] Jamie wants big boom.
Adam: [Holds a weather balloon] For science!
[Releases the weather balloon and it floats away]
Jamie: [Points to the weather balloon] It's going that way!
[Adam laughs]
Adam: You're a budding meteorologist Jamie!
[Jamie laughs]
Adam: Am I missing an eyebrow?
Scottie: Maybe it's a myth that methane is flammable.
Adam: It's not a myth. We're just idiots.
Jamie: Adam, the police officer says you need to drink more.
Jamie: Adam doesn't know it yet but he's digging his own grave.
Adam: What's that?
Jamie: What?... Nothing!
Jamie: I always enjoy seeing Adam in pain.
Kari: You know, I promised my mom and dad I wouldn't do anything stupid after I got out of college.
[whispers]
Kari: Sorry, Mom.
Salvatore: [after frying balistics gel Ben Franklin] Well, we killed a dead president.
Grant: He was never president.
Salvatore: He wasn't President? Damn it.
Jamie: It's a beautiful day at the bomb range. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about... and pretty soon there's gonna be a big explosion.
Adam: If I had any dignity, that would have been humiliating
Jamie: [while pushing Adam into the quicksand] Drown, you bastard!
Adam: [operating shark-punching Buster] Oh, my God! This is more fun than should be allowed.
Adam: When a cameraman gives you a pat on the shoulder it must be really bad.
Jamie: [over radio] This is one of those "What the hell am I doing?" moments, over!
Adam: [Drops a pastrami sandwich on the floor and picks it up again] Whoop, I picked it up after like three seconds, would you eat it?
Jamie: I wouldn't eat it just because you've handled it.
Jamie: [fills a truck with vacuum cleaners] Do we suck or what?
Jamie: [wearing a full-body fire-protection suit with tinted hood] I kinda like it in here, it's private!
Salvatore: If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing, right?
Jamie: I think that was one of the most destructive things I've ever done. That was cool!
Adam: Well, hopefully that's our job, to strap rockets onto everything!
Kari: [Kari makes the gun cotton for the confederate rocket myth] Ok, we're gonna add a half ounce of
[Donkey sound]
Kari: to ounce of
[Rooster sound]
Kari: slowly!
Narrator: When you add donkey to rooster you get a violent reaction.
Adam: Do you actually have moods?
Jamie: No.
Kari: All right! Looks like it's time to pack Buster's bags for the Bahamas. What do you think he'd wear? Shorts or a little thong?
Adam: I... I don't know if Buster has enough actual flesh down there for a thong, but a...
Jamie: He's got no butt at all, in fact he doesn't even have any legs.
Adam: [holding a floatation barrel] The only thing we're told we can't do is burn them, blow them up, or lose them!
Salvatore: Has he watched the show?
Jamie: [Adam writes "Crash" Hyneman on Jamie's Helmet] What the hell are you writing out there?
Adam: How hard can it be to blow up a room full of gasoline?
Jamie: I think this thing could hurt you. I think we're about to find out whether it will hurt you.
Adam: All right, I'll go put on the suit.
Narrator: What did I say about dressing up?
Adam: [dancing in Redman suit] Yeah! You can shake your booty in this!
Adam: [pounding at Alcatraz raft loudly] Wait, was that a guard?
Adam: [Stays silent for a few seconds] Nope!
Adam: [Contiues pounding]
Salvatore: [being massaged for an episode on the effects of stress levels on driving] This is the best damn Mythbusters *ever*.
[Jamie accidentally shoots a fluorescent light with a nail gun]
Jamie: Whoops! We should get out of here. That's mercury vapor.
Adam: [in cockney accent to a shotgun toting Jamie facing an oven door] Alright Jamie, here's your motivation: This oven door has run off with your wife, so you decide to gear-up and get even.
[repeated line]
Adam: Well, here's your problem.
Adam: We got a robot in the water, he's stuffed with tuna and it's just another day here at Mythbusters.
Adam: Hand me the Jack Russell terrier urine. That'll do it!
Jamie: [after spectacularly destroying two semi-trucks] It wasn't quite right, but I don't think we can reset.
Adam: Remember, don't try this at home.
Jamie: We're what you call "experts".
Jamie: [while coffin is being closed in the Buried Alive myth] Farewell cruel world!
Adam: This is your head!
[Touches ballistics gel]
Adam: This is your head with an axe in it! Are we clear?
Adam: Hell or high water we are gonna get him back out! We leave no man behind on MythBusters man!
Kari: [testing vodka as a poison oak remedy] I hope you don't have a date tonight. Showing up smelling like liquor with poison oak.
Salvatore: [laughs] Works every time!
Adam: [sits on his hovercraft with pizza boxes taped to his arms] I think we may have something here!
Jamie: Well, as the myth suggests, William Thomson, aka Lord Kelvin, did indeed live during the Civil War era but he never claimed to have made liquid oxygen.
Adam: And we're supposed to believe someone who was called Thomson but went around saying he was Lord Kelvin? "That's Lord Kelvin to you."
Jamie: So what's in these things?
Adam: Supposed to be vinegar and water.
[takes a sip of feminine hygiene products and spits it out]
Adam: Yeah, tastes like vinegar and water.
[starts laughing]
Adam: I just took a taste test.
[continues laughing]
Adam: [Adam laughs] We're escaping Alcatraz in Mach 1!
Jamie: No wonder they couldn't find them. They're probably in Japan by now.
Adam: This kills you!
[points to a .30-06 bullet]
Adam: This kills you and everyone else in the room!
[points to a .50cal bullet]
Salvatore: He's gonna die... but it's gonna look great.
Adam: I wouldn't say Jamie's an evil genius.
Jamie: Good shot, Adam!
Adam: Thank you, Uncle Jamie.
Adam: [while trying to calculate how many pingpong balls it takes to cancel out one pound] Oh no, oh crap.
Jamie: That's great Adam. I'll see you later.
[Starts walking away]
Jamie: Let me know when you get that all worked out.
Adam: [Christine and Tory tape pizza boxes to Adam's arms] We're at the Icarus part of the evening. I think you know what happened to Icarus!
Adam: I'm not doing anything the Pakish wouldn't have done if they'd had a chainsaw.
Kari: [Jiggles two ballistics gel hands] My dastardly scheme, it's coming together!
Kari: I think we have our exploding pants!
Narrator: [Adam extinguishes the bunker after a successful rocket test] Not so much as fire in the hole as fire in the whole shop!
Jamie: Aren't tracer rounds illegal?
Kari: [after Adam gets shocked by the ark] Do you feel God?
Kari: I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm a really, really bad driver!
Kari: [christening the Orca V. Bottle does not break] Ewww... How the heck do they do this?
Narrator: [Kari tries to break the bottle repeatedly] It's made of "stern" stuff, Kari!
Adam: [pours tomato juice over himself] Wow, this is like performance art!
Jamie: Ninety-two feet to the top of the pulleys!
Kari: Ninety-two feet to the dead bird!
[Jamie laughs]
Jamie: [wearing a wetsuit] I feel kinda sexy!
Adam: [holds a duck to the camera] Do you have anything to say to the ducks back home?
Adam: [Fake arrow on his head] Coming up, could a ninja snatch an arrow out of the air?
Jamie: Sorry about that, man.
Adam: That's okay.
Adam: [Holds up a pig's head in front of his face] Jamie!
Jamie: Yeah?
Adam: Please don't fire bullets into my head!
Jamie: Its only got one ear though.
Adam: We don't need ears for testing lethality of bullets at terminal velocity man!
Jamie: What's the problem, you don't believe the math?
Narrator: Adam and Jamie have never been afraid of going deep.
Narrator: [Jamie talks to Adam about his screwed up Hale rocket] Denial is a river in Africa.
Adam: [Jamie pours gas into the pickup, Adam whistles] You really had to go.
Adam: Turkey master, I hand you your bird!
[holds the live cast of Grant]
Salvatore: It's little Imahara!
Adam: [sticks on a Shock Watch sticker] This is the source of all my special powers!
Narrator: [after Adam hurts himself] Adam is more fragile than this rig.
Salvatore: [Rubbing two sticks together but getting no embers] Shnike!
Narrator: Seems like he's off the island too!
Jamie: When will the fun ever stop?
Scottie: [smells Adam] You smell like a Bloody Mary!
Jamie: Well, that's a bright light you got going there, buddy!
Adam: [wearing a pilot's helmet] Pilot to bombardier, pilot to bombardier, do you read, over?
Adam: [covered in tomato juice] I think it's working!
Kari: [hi-fives Scottie] Giant industrial pogo stick! Nice!
Kari: [the Shrammer rams into the Orca V] Oh, camera in the water!
[laughs]
Jamie: And that was the end of Adam's Television career.
Adam: No!
[punches Jamie in the arm]
Jamie: Give it your best shot! Come on!
Adam: How many of me can you stand?
Grant: [laughing] Bullseye!
Adam: Jamie, marinade!
Salvatore: Mmmmmm... Yummy!

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