Mean Creek Quotes
When a teen is bullied, his brother and friends lure the bully into the woods to seek vengeance.
George: [yelling over the truth of why the kids really brought George to the lake] You're a fucking lying son of a bitch Sam! Alright? And I hope you fucking go to hell!
Millie: Don't make things worse George...
George: Shut the fuck up Millie, you fucking stupid jab cunt!
Clyde: Sit down George, you're out of control.
George: [shouts] Shut the fuck up, Clyde! You faggot! Fucking skinny butt-munching faggot. I hate you! You know that? I really do! Because all you do is fucking prance around school, talking about your fucking faggoty fairy fathers! I'll tell you what! I don't wanna hear about your fucking fathers and how their assholes work, all right? It makes me sick, all right, and I fucking hope they fucking die of fucking fag disease! Yeah!
George: [pause]
George: And speaking of dead... fathers... I just remembered why bonehead white-trash fucking donkey-dick Marty got so fucking freaked when I started talking about his "daddy". His neanderthal, drunk father put a gun in his mouth and splattered his brains all over the wall. You know, I almost forgot my mom told me that. She said, "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." I thought it was sad at first. But now? I like it. "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall...
Millie: Don't make things worse George...
George: Shut the fuck up Millie, you fucking stupid jab cunt!
Clyde: Sit down George, you're out of control.
George: [shouts] Shut the fuck up, Clyde! You faggot! Fucking skinny butt-munching faggot. I hate you! You know that? I really do! Because all you do is fucking prance around school, talking about your fucking faggoty fairy fathers! I'll tell you what! I don't wanna hear about your fucking fathers and how their assholes work, all right? It makes me sick, all right, and I fucking hope they fucking die of fucking fag disease! Yeah!
George: [pause]
George: And speaking of dead... fathers... I just remembered why bonehead white-trash fucking donkey-dick Marty got so fucking freaked when I started talking about his "daddy". His neanderthal, drunk father put a gun in his mouth and splattered his brains all over the wall. You know, I almost forgot my mom told me that. She said, "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." I thought it was sad at first. But now? I like it. "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall...
[last lines]
George: My name is George... and this... is the inside of my mind.
[sighs]
George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things...
[sighs]
George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things about it but... people that don't see inside of my mind don't know there are a zillion things and... Y'know, since no one sees inside my mind, no one really knows. But... one day people will know. One day people will know 'cause that's my master plan. To film it all. To document every aspect of the life that is me. And put it in a time capsule in my backyard and so that one day some alien or some highly evolved species will find it and... understand.
George: My name is George... and this... is the inside of my mind.
[sighs]
George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things...
[sighs]
George: The inside of my mind has a zillion things about it but... people that don't see inside of my mind don't know there are a zillion things and... Y'know, since no one sees inside my mind, no one really knows. But... one day people will know. One day people will know 'cause that's my master plan. To film it all. To document every aspect of the life that is me. And put it in a time capsule in my backyard and so that one day some alien or some highly evolved species will find it and... understand.
Sam: I dare you to drop your pants, and your underwear, and show all of us that famous dick of yours for ten seconds.
Marty: Okay. All right, I will show you... because I am proud of my boys. But after this, no one is allowed to wimp out on any of their dares. Now, Millie, cover your eyes. Marty doesn't want to go to jail.
Marty: Okay. All right, I will show you... because I am proud of my boys. But after this, no one is allowed to wimp out on any of their dares. Now, Millie, cover your eyes. Marty doesn't want to go to jail.
Marty: Woo. Ah, ya... Nothing beats a good piss in the river. Except of course a good ole romping session of a stupid, ugly, dumb, pathetic piece of shit.
Rocky: Yeah, about that - I wanna call it off.
Marty: I'm not laughing.
Rocky: Dead serious.
Marty: You mean to tell me that you get me all juiced up over this, I steal my mother's car and come down here on a Saturday, when I could be at home, watching television? I'm out here on this river with a bunch of munchkins who are sober as hell and bringing me down... and now you tell me that we don't even get to do what we came here for?
Rocky: Yeah, about that - I wanna call it off.
Marty: I'm not laughing.
Rocky: Dead serious.
Marty: You mean to tell me that you get me all juiced up over this, I steal my mother's car and come down here on a Saturday, when I could be at home, watching television? I'm out here on this river with a bunch of munchkins who are sober as hell and bringing me down... and now you tell me that we don't even get to do what we came here for?
Millie: Sam, what's going on here with George?
Sam: Oh, it's nothing bad. It's just a joke.
Millie: What kind of joke?
Sam: Well, we are planning on stripping him, throwing him in the river, and then we are gonna make him run home naked. We have a plan and it involves a dare.
Millie: A dare?
Sam: Yeah. See, the only reason I didn't tell you before...
[Sam gets interrupted by Millie]
Millie: Who said I wanted to be a part of this?
Sam: What about this?
[Sam snaps his fingers]
Millie: What's that?
Sam: If you could snap your fingers right now, and he would drop dead in his tracks, would you do it?
Millie: It's totally mean, Sam.
Sam: He's mean.
Millie: He's a stupid fat kid. He's got problems, but he's obviously... Promise me you won't do anything to him.
Sam: It's not just me.
Millie: Promise me or I go back to the car.
Sam: All right, I promise. I'll tell Rocky.
Sam: Oh, it's nothing bad. It's just a joke.
Millie: What kind of joke?
Sam: Well, we are planning on stripping him, throwing him in the river, and then we are gonna make him run home naked. We have a plan and it involves a dare.
Millie: A dare?
Sam: Yeah. See, the only reason I didn't tell you before...
[Sam gets interrupted by Millie]
Millie: Who said I wanted to be a part of this?
Sam: What about this?
[Sam snaps his fingers]
Millie: What's that?
Sam: If you could snap your fingers right now, and he would drop dead in his tracks, would you do it?
Millie: It's totally mean, Sam.
Sam: He's mean.
Millie: He's a stupid fat kid. He's got problems, but he's obviously... Promise me you won't do anything to him.
Sam: It's not just me.
Millie: Promise me or I go back to the car.
Sam: All right, I promise. I'll tell Rocky.
George: [as Marty drinks a beer while driving] Hey, Marty? My mom made me sign one of those contracts, telling her I wouldn't get in a car with a driver who's been drinking...
Marty: Oh, it's cool. My mom gave me permission to drink and drive. You don't have to worry about it.
George: Your mom must be pretty stupid to let your drive inebriated.
Marty: [Rocky scoffs] You're right, George. My mom *is* pretty stupid. In fact she's got one of those learning disability things.
George: Must be a pretty bad LD. I have an LD, but I should know you're not suppose to drive drunk.
Marty: Oh, it's cool. My mom gave me permission to drink and drive. You don't have to worry about it.
George: Your mom must be pretty stupid to let your drive inebriated.
Marty: [Rocky scoffs] You're right, George. My mom *is* pretty stupid. In fact she's got one of those learning disability things.
George: Must be a pretty bad LD. I have an LD, but I should know you're not suppose to drive drunk.
Jasper: What are the paddles for?
Marty: We're going cow spanking.
Jasper: Cow spanking? What's that?
Marty: It's like cow tipping, only we spank.
Jasper: Really.
Rocky: Come on let's get this stuff and get out of here.
Jasper: While you boys are out cow spanking, Kile and I are gonna go pussy huntin'.
Marty: Good for you, Jasper.
Kile: [smacks Marty in the head] Hey, don't get sassy with my boy.
Jasper: You ever been pussy hunting?
[Kile holds a balloon up to Marty's face and squeezes it, so it looks like two pulsating balls]
Jasper: I didn't think so. You know how I knew? You got to have bait to catch one.
Marty: We're going cow spanking.
Jasper: Cow spanking? What's that?
Marty: It's like cow tipping, only we spank.
Jasper: Really.
Rocky: Come on let's get this stuff and get out of here.
Jasper: While you boys are out cow spanking, Kile and I are gonna go pussy huntin'.
Marty: Good for you, Jasper.
Kile: [smacks Marty in the head] Hey, don't get sassy with my boy.
Jasper: You ever been pussy hunting?
[Kile holds a balloon up to Marty's face and squeezes it, so it looks like two pulsating balls]
Jasper: I didn't think so. You know how I knew? You got to have bait to catch one.
Clyde: If anything, it's a beautiful day.
George: It smells like cherry blossoms.
Millie: How do you know what cherry blossoms smell like?
George: I know what they smell like!
Rocky: Does anybody really know what a cherry blossom is?
George: Duh, it's a blossom on a cherry.
Rocky: I don't know. I thought it was a blossom all on it's own. What do you think, Marty?
Marty: I think I'm bored as fuck.
George: It smells like cherry blossoms.
Millie: How do you know what cherry blossoms smell like?
George: I know what they smell like!
Rocky: Does anybody really know what a cherry blossom is?
George: Duh, it's a blossom on a cherry.
Rocky: I don't know. I thought it was a blossom all on it's own. What do you think, Marty?
Marty: I think I'm bored as fuck.
Marty: What do you guys say we play some Truth or Dare?
George: Yeah. Yeah, I love that game.
Marty: Okay, let's do it.
Millie: No, let's not. People's feelings always end up hurt when we play this game.
Sam: Yeah, she's right.
George: God, Sam and Millie are a couple of little wet pussies, aren't they?
Marty: Clyde, do you wanna start?
Clyde: I dunno. I'm kind of with Sam and Millie on this one.
George: [pointing with his finger] Pussy number one, pussy number two, pussy number three.
Millie: Go ahead, Clyde. Start the game.
George: Yeah. Yeah, I love that game.
Marty: Okay, let's do it.
Millie: No, let's not. People's feelings always end up hurt when we play this game.
Sam: Yeah, she's right.
George: God, Sam and Millie are a couple of little wet pussies, aren't they?
Marty: Clyde, do you wanna start?
Clyde: I dunno. I'm kind of with Sam and Millie on this one.
George: [pointing with his finger] Pussy number one, pussy number two, pussy number three.
Millie: Go ahead, Clyde. Start the game.
Marty: [pointing a gun at a bottle] Kiss my ass, Mr.Shaham, kiss my ass, Mr. Estes, kiss my ass, Miss Johnson, kiss my ass, Mr. Rosenthal
[fires and misses]
Marty: Shit.
Kile: What are you doing with my shooter, twerp-face?
Marty: Target practice
Kile: It's 11 a.m. in the morning, for Christ's sake.
Marty: Most people are doing cartwheels by 11, Kile.
Kile: Aren't you supposed to be in school?
Marty: Fuck school, I don't see you in school, and besides... you're not Dad.
Kile: Come here...
[shouts]
Kile: Come here!
Kile: [pushes Marty's face to the ground] You're right, I'm not Dad, Dad didn't hit as hard as me, I don't really wanna hear about Dad, understand? You understand?
Marty: Yes.
Kile: Now hand me my gun you little stupid, if you ever take this without my permission again you'll be sorry, you understand?
Marty: Yes.
Kile: Get it?
Marty: Yes.
Marty: [grabs bat and smashes the glass bottle] Kiss my ass, Kile!
[fires and misses]
Marty: Shit.
Kile: What are you doing with my shooter, twerp-face?
Marty: Target practice
Kile: It's 11 a.m. in the morning, for Christ's sake.
Marty: Most people are doing cartwheels by 11, Kile.
Kile: Aren't you supposed to be in school?
Marty: Fuck school, I don't see you in school, and besides... you're not Dad.
Kile: Come here...
[shouts]
Kile: Come here!
Kile: [pushes Marty's face to the ground] You're right, I'm not Dad, Dad didn't hit as hard as me, I don't really wanna hear about Dad, understand? You understand?
Marty: Yes.
Kile: Now hand me my gun you little stupid, if you ever take this without my permission again you'll be sorry, you understand?
Marty: Yes.
Kile: Get it?
Marty: Yes.
Marty: [grabs bat and smashes the glass bottle] Kiss my ass, Kile!
Marty: Hey, you guys ever hear when Rocky and I were kicking out here? We got some poison oak on our hands.
Rocky: This is a disgusting story.
Marty: Anyway, so we're out here and we got some poison oak on our hands. With all the beers we were drinkin' naturally we had to take a piss. Now I don't know if you're hip, Millie, but when a guy pisses he has to hold his pisser in his hands like so.
[Marty turns around to face Millie and uses both hands to hold a huge imaginary penis]
Millie: Thanks, Marty.
Marty: No, I'm not finished yet. Next morning when we woke up we both had totally chapped rashin' nuts!
Rocky: This is a disgusting story.
Marty: Anyway, so we're out here and we got some poison oak on our hands. With all the beers we were drinkin' naturally we had to take a piss. Now I don't know if you're hip, Millie, but when a guy pisses he has to hold his pisser in his hands like so.
[Marty turns around to face Millie and uses both hands to hold a huge imaginary penis]
Millie: Thanks, Marty.
Marty: No, I'm not finished yet. Next morning when we woke up we both had totally chapped rashin' nuts!
Clyde: [Marty holds a joint in front of Clyde's face] What'd I tell you?
Marty: You don't smoke herb?
Clyde: Yeah, so get it out of my face.
Marty: Faggot.
Marty: [Clyde gives disapproving look] Clydo, I'm just fucking with you, your not a faggot, all right? Okay? Fist bump? Fist bump?
[Clyde bumps his fist]
Marty: All right zero kill.
Marty: Besides, I like your dads, Clyde, I never knew any homosexual men personally until I met them, they're not so bad.
[in mocking feminine voice]
Marty: Don't you think so Rocky?
Marty: You don't smoke herb?
Clyde: Yeah, so get it out of my face.
Marty: Faggot.
Marty: [Clyde gives disapproving look] Clydo, I'm just fucking with you, your not a faggot, all right? Okay? Fist bump? Fist bump?
[Clyde bumps his fist]
Marty: All right zero kill.
Marty: Besides, I like your dads, Clyde, I never knew any homosexual men personally until I met them, they're not so bad.
[in mocking feminine voice]
Marty: Don't you think so Rocky?
