Maverick Quotes
Bret Maverick, needing money for a poker tournament, faces various comic mishaps and challenges, including a charming woman thief.
Annabelle: Well look at this. Here's a lot of money and your gun is six feet away.
Marshal Zane Cooper & Bret Maverick, Jr.: Eight.
Annabelle: What a remarkable family.
Maverick: How'd she - how'd she figure that?
Annabelle: Well, you all don't have the exclusive on tells! You both have the same height, the same build, you both talk the same, you both kiss the same, you both draw your guns the same, and you both sing the same wrong words to 'Amazing Grace'.
Zane Cooper & Maverick: Do not.
Marshal Zane Cooper & Bret Maverick, Jr.: Eight.
Annabelle: What a remarkable family.
Maverick: How'd she - how'd she figure that?
Annabelle: Well, you all don't have the exclusive on tells! You both have the same height, the same build, you both talk the same, you both kiss the same, you both draw your guns the same, and you both sing the same wrong words to 'Amazing Grace'.
Zane Cooper & Maverick: Do not.
Maverick: [talking to the village thieves] The man who'll blow your brains out is Marshal Zane Cooper. You've probably heard of him, I know what you're thinking, he's old and decrepit, gums his food AND his women, but he can still shoot straight.
Maverick: After you is ugly Annie Bransford. When she was born, she came out backwards and no one noticed. Hell, when she was little, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her. When she's making love, she has to pretend SHE'S someone else!
Maverick: After you is ugly Annie Bransford. When she was born, she came out backwards and no one noticed. Hell, when she was little, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her. When she's making love, she has to pretend SHE'S someone else!
Maverick: Now, there's something I want you to do for me.
Annabelle: Never. I am a lady. Not if you were a hundred years old, not if I was a hundred years old...
Maverick: Calm down. I don't want to go to bed with you, lady.
Annabelle: Why not?
Maverick: Why - Why not? I'd be too frightened. God knows what parts of me you'd steal. I'd wake up with all sorts of things missing.
Annabelle: Never. I am a lady. Not if you were a hundred years old, not if I was a hundred years old...
Maverick: Calm down. I don't want to go to bed with you, lady.
Annabelle: Why not?
Maverick: Why - Why not? I'd be too frightened. God knows what parts of me you'd steal. I'd wake up with all sorts of things missing.
Annabelle: Well, they're Indians. They probably just stole the ponies!
Maverick: Not everybody's like you, Mrs. Bransford.
Annabelle: What is it with you and Indians anyway?
Maverick: Oh, nothing. I try and shoot one a day, if possible, before noon. How 'bout you, Coop? I figure it's their fault for being on our land before we got here.
Maverick: Not everybody's like you, Mrs. Bransford.
Annabelle: What is it with you and Indians anyway?
Maverick: Oh, nothing. I try and shoot one a day, if possible, before noon. How 'bout you, Coop? I figure it's their fault for being on our land before we got here.
Zane Cooper: Well, Bret, you know what we ended up with? A half a million dollar silk shirt.
Maverick: Nope, we ended up with a quarter million dollar silk shirt, because my old pappy always used to say "Don't put the chicken in front of"... no, wait "Never cut the cards before"... no, wait, "Don't put all you eggs in one basket".
Zane Cooper: Now that, I said.
Maverick: Nope, we ended up with a quarter million dollar silk shirt, because my old pappy always used to say "Don't put the chicken in front of"... no, wait "Never cut the cards before"... no, wait, "Don't put all you eggs in one basket".
Zane Cooper: Now that, I said.
Stable Boy: [Yelling] Pa, this man wants to know if you want to buy a burro.
Stable owner: That burro ain't worth a dollar!
Maverick: Well, sir, I say you got yourself a deal.
Stable owner: Here's your dollar.
Maverick: Well, he doesn't eat much, but he's a regular jackass, and hee-haw, hee-haw, he hawlways likes to be called Arthur.
Stable owner: That burro ain't worth a dollar!
Maverick: Well, sir, I say you got yourself a deal.
Stable owner: Here's your dollar.
Maverick: Well, he doesn't eat much, but he's a regular jackass, and hee-haw, hee-haw, he hawlways likes to be called Arthur.
Annabelle: How'd you know I was bluffing? I didn't do any of my tells. I didn't shuffle my cards, I didn't pull my hair, I didn't even flick my teeth.
Maverick: You held your breath. If you'd been excited, you would have started breathing harder.
Annabelle: I did not.
[Looks at the Commodore]
Annabelle: Did I?
[Commodore nods]
Annabelle: [Annabelle looks at Angel] Did I?
[Angel nods]
Annabelle: [Annabelle looks at the dealer] Did I?
[the dealer nods]
Annabelle: Well, I'll just pretend I was playin' with someone else's money.
Maverick: That shouldn't be too hard.
[Annabelle gets up. Cooper leans toward her]
Zane Cooper: [whispering] You did hold your breath, ma'am.
Maverick: You held your breath. If you'd been excited, you would have started breathing harder.
Annabelle: I did not.
[Looks at the Commodore]
Annabelle: Did I?
[Commodore nods]
Annabelle: [Annabelle looks at Angel] Did I?
[Angel nods]
Annabelle: [Annabelle looks at the dealer] Did I?
[the dealer nods]
Annabelle: Well, I'll just pretend I was playin' with someone else's money.
Maverick: That shouldn't be too hard.
[Annabelle gets up. Cooper leans toward her]
Zane Cooper: [whispering] You did hold your breath, ma'am.
Maverick: My old pappy always used to say, "there is no more deeply satisfying religious experience... than cheatin' on a cheater."
Zane Cooper: I never said that once. You've been misquoting me all your life.
Maverick: What, we're going to quibble over fine points?
Zane Cooper: You never even get close. Give me some credit.
Zane Cooper: I never said that once. You've been misquoting me all your life.
Maverick: What, we're going to quibble over fine points?
Zane Cooper: You never even get close. Give me some credit.
Zane Cooper: [guns are contraband and Zane catches a couple with a pistol] I'm sorry, ma'am, but these aren't allowed.
Couple with Concealed Guns: Oh, that's my gun!
Zane Cooper: Oh, yours? Well, do you swim?
Couple with Concealed Guns: Swim... uh, no, but she does, and it's *her* gun!
Zane Cooper: Oh, hers?
Couple with Concealed Guns: Just holding it for her!
Couple with Concealed Guns: I can't believe you!
Couple with Concealed Guns: Oh, that's my gun!
Zane Cooper: Oh, yours? Well, do you swim?
Couple with Concealed Guns: Swim... uh, no, but she does, and it's *her* gun!
Zane Cooper: Oh, hers?
Couple with Concealed Guns: Just holding it for her!
Couple with Concealed Guns: I can't believe you!
