Mad Dog and Glory Quotes
After his life is saved by a lonely cop, a mobster who moonlights as a stand-up comedian provides the cop with a beautiful young companion.
[Frank is doing his routine for a group of cops]
Frank Milo: My friend, Phil, he wants to join the police department. He goes to the station, and starts filling out the application. They ask him, "Mr. Scarangello, how tall are you?" And he looks at his right hand and says, "Uh, five foot ten." And they ask him, "how much do you weigh?" And he looks at his other hand, and says, "Two hundred and three pounds." So then they ask, "Okay, and what's your first name?" He goes...
[bobs his head from side to side, then]
Frank Milo: "Philly." They ask him, "what are you doing with your head there?" He goes...
[bobbing]
Frank Milo: "Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me...?
[laughter]
Frank Milo: My friend, Phil, he wants to join the police department. He goes to the station, and starts filling out the application. They ask him, "Mr. Scarangello, how tall are you?" And he looks at his right hand and says, "Uh, five foot ten." And they ask him, "how much do you weigh?" And he looks at his other hand, and says, "Two hundred and three pounds." So then they ask, "Okay, and what's your first name?" He goes...
[bobs his head from side to side, then]
Frank Milo: "Philly." They ask him, "what are you doing with your head there?" He goes...
[bobbing]
Frank Milo: "Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me...?
[laughter]
Mad Dog: It's the first time I pulled out my gin in 15 years. I pissed on myself.
Mike: You know why? Because you're a sensitive, intelligent indivdual.
Mad Dog: You ever piss on yourself?
Mike: Look, I would'a walked in there and drilled the red-eyed little bastard, and that's just the way I am. On the other hand, if I ever had an intelligent thought, I would die a lonely guy. It all evens out, you know what I mean?
Mike: Look, if that ever happens again, the best thing is to have sex.
Mike: You know why? Because you're a sensitive, intelligent indivdual.
Mad Dog: You ever piss on yourself?
Mike: Look, I would'a walked in there and drilled the red-eyed little bastard, and that's just the way I am. On the other hand, if I ever had an intelligent thought, I would die a lonely guy. It all evens out, you know what I mean?
Mike: Look, if that ever happens again, the best thing is to have sex.
[first lines]
Dealer in Car: Yo fellas, what's up?
Driver: Same old same old.
Dealer in Car: I got meatballs, I got ready rocks, I got gumballs. Shit, I even got gas starter kits.
Shooter: Jumbos, two-twentys.
Dealer in Car: Two-twentys'll be 40.
Shooter: [flashing bills] You break this?
Dealer in Car: I ain't no cash machine.
Dealer in Car: Yo fellas, what's up?
Driver: Same old same old.
Dealer in Car: I got meatballs, I got ready rocks, I got gumballs. Shit, I even got gas starter kits.
Shooter: Jumbos, two-twentys.
Dealer in Car: Two-twentys'll be 40.
Shooter: [flashing bills] You break this?
Dealer in Car: I ain't no cash machine.
