Machete Quotes
After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.
Booth's Bodyguard #1: [seeing Machete walking towards Booth's doorsteps carrying a pickaxe and a motor scythe] Hey, hey-heh, boss. Who are you?
Machete: The new gardener.
Booth's Bodyguard #1: The gardener.
[speaks Hungarian to Machete]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: Just fuckin' with you, cheef. It's Hungarian for I going to kill you, you little monkey. You know what, there's a big pile of shit in the back, you can go and clean that up, all right? Make sure you do a good job.
[Machete walks past him silently]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: Make sure to wipe those boots off. Carrying shit in the house.
[to his colleague]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw, you know, a machete...
Machete: The new gardener.
Booth's Bodyguard #1: The gardener.
[speaks Hungarian to Machete]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: Just fuckin' with you, cheef. It's Hungarian for I going to kill you, you little monkey. You know what, there's a big pile of shit in the back, you can go and clean that up, all right? Make sure you do a good job.
[Machete walks past him silently]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: Make sure to wipe those boots off. Carrying shit in the house.
[to his colleague]
Booth's Bodyguard #1: You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw, you know, a machete...
Senator McLaughlin: [to April, who's dressed in a nun's habit] Sister. Please... I've done wrong. I've lived a hateful life. I'm not even from around here. I hate Texas. I hate the heat. Give me my last rites.
April Booth: [points a large revolver at McLaughlin] In the name of my father...
Senator McLaughlin: My... my father? April?
[April shoots him three times in the chest]
April Booth: I forgot the rest.
April Booth: [points a large revolver at McLaughlin] In the name of my father...
Senator McLaughlin: My... my father? April?
[April shoots him three times in the chest]
April Booth: I forgot the rest.
[first lines]
Federale Officer: [in Spanish; subtitled] We're federal agents, not martyrs. This is suicide. She's just another kidnap victim.
[holding up picture]
Federale Officer: What makes her special? Because she's a witness against Torrez? He probably has her locked up, drugged our of her mind. We don't have to do this!
Machete: If not us, then who?
Federale Officer: [in Spanish; subtitled] We're federal agents, not martyrs. This is suicide. She's just another kidnap victim.
[holding up picture]
Federale Officer: What makes her special? Because she's a witness against Torrez? He probably has her locked up, drugged our of her mind. We don't have to do this!
Machete: If not us, then who?
Senator McLaughlin: Well, I wanna thank y'all for coming out today, and I wanna thank my supporters from the bottom of my heart. Because we have been tested - tested by fire. Our border has been put to the test, and let me tell you: we have failed that test. The aliens, the infiltrators, the outsiders, they come right across by light of day or dark of night. They'll bleed us, they're parasites. They'll bleed us until we as a city, a county, a state, a nation are all bled out. Make no mistake: we are at war. Every time an illegal dances across our border it is an act of aggression against this sovereign state, an overt act of terrorism. Everywhere I go in this state people are talking about change. I say "why change"? This is a great state founded on the principles of liberty, I don't wanna change that. Our rightful citizens are hardworking Americans who earn their paychecks by the grit of their guts and the sweat of their brow! I don't wanna change that! "Change," that's what they want, change. Change the laws, open the doors. Red rover, red rover, let the terrorists come over! Let me tell you what change that'll bring: 68 cents. The jingle-jangle of pennies in your pocket because the scavengers, the leeches, the parasites are walking away with your money, while you're left with the change. So, I wanna say one more thing: who you gonna vote for?
