License to Wed Quotes
A reverend puts an engaged couple through a grueling marriage preparation course to see if they are meant to be married in his church.
Ben Murphy: [out on the street, noticing the van Frank and Choir Boy are sitting in] No way.
[opens the back door]
Reverend Frank: Whoa! Is that one strike or two against Rodriguez?
Choir Boy: Uh... Two!
Reverend Frank: Oh! Well...
Ben Murphy: Awesome job with the camouflage, guys. Seriously, you totally got me. Who would have ever thought you'd be in a van with "Saint Augustine's" on the side?
[opens the back door]
Reverend Frank: Whoa! Is that one strike or two against Rodriguez?
Choir Boy: Uh... Two!
Reverend Frank: Oh! Well...
Ben Murphy: Awesome job with the camouflage, guys. Seriously, you totally got me. Who would have ever thought you'd be in a van with "Saint Augustine's" on the side?
Ben Murphy: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Reverend Frank: Sure.
Ben Murphy: When did you really know that we were ready to get married?
Reverend Frank: The moment you told Joel that Sadie wasn't a fish, I knew it was meant to be. Besides, anybody who kicks a reverend's ass for his woman, you're A-okay in my book.
Reverend Frank: Sure.
Ben Murphy: When did you really know that we were ready to get married?
Reverend Frank: The moment you told Joel that Sadie wasn't a fish, I knew it was meant to be. Besides, anybody who kicks a reverend's ass for his woman, you're A-okay in my book.
Reverend Frank: [at the wedding reception] The rings.
Sadie Jones: [looks at the inscription] "Never to fart"?
Ben Murphy: Oh, my god... I didn't change it! I'm gonna change it right when I get back, I promise I will...
Sadie Jones: No, no, no. Bite your tongue, 'cause I wouldn't want it changed for anything in the whole world.
Sadie Jones: [looks at the inscription] "Never to fart"?
Ben Murphy: Oh, my god... I didn't change it! I'm gonna change it right when I get back, I promise I will...
Sadie Jones: No, no, no. Bite your tongue, 'cause I wouldn't want it changed for anything in the whole world.
Reverend Frank: Bad news, guys. Next available date is in two years.
Sadie Jones: Two years?
Reverend Frank, Choir Boy: Mhm.
Ben Murphy: That's... so long.
Sadie Jones: Yeah!
Reverend Frank: Wait! Hold on, hold on...
Choir Boy: Wasn't there a cancellation? I think it's...
Reverend Frank: There, there!
Choir Boy: Yes, there it is.
Reverend Frank: Three weeks from tomorrow. How is that?
Ben Murphy: [skeptical, while Sadie laughs] That's a little quick. Right? I mean...
Sadie Jones: Okay, I guess we're getting married in three weeks.
Reverend Frank: Okay!
Ben Murphy: [in shock] Wow... Just like that.
Sadie Jones: Two years?
Reverend Frank, Choir Boy: Mhm.
Ben Murphy: That's... so long.
Sadie Jones: Yeah!
Reverend Frank: Wait! Hold on, hold on...
Choir Boy: Wasn't there a cancellation? I think it's...
Reverend Frank: There, there!
Choir Boy: Yes, there it is.
Reverend Frank: Three weeks from tomorrow. How is that?
Ben Murphy: [skeptical, while Sadie laughs] That's a little quick. Right? I mean...
Sadie Jones: Okay, I guess we're getting married in three weeks.
Reverend Frank: Okay!
Ben Murphy: [in shock] Wow... Just like that.
Reverend Frank: Sadie Jones? Little Sadie Jones! How you've grown.
Sadie Jones: Well, yeah.
Reverend Frank: And now my Sadie Jones is gonna tie the knot.
Sadie Jones: I am. I'm so sorry I haven't been around for the last, like...
Reverend Frank: Ten years.
Sadie Jones: Yeah. I've just been trying to get my business started, and...
Reverend Frank: Oh, please. Please. You go to a liberate college, you have a bisexual rommate, you forget about God. Don't sweat it. He doesn't forget about you.
Sadie Jones: Yay!
[laughs nervously]
Sadie Jones: Well, yeah.
Reverend Frank: And now my Sadie Jones is gonna tie the knot.
Sadie Jones: I am. I'm so sorry I haven't been around for the last, like...
Reverend Frank: Ten years.
Sadie Jones: Yeah. I've just been trying to get my business started, and...
Reverend Frank: Oh, please. Please. You go to a liberate college, you have a bisexual rommate, you forget about God. Don't sweat it. He doesn't forget about you.
Sadie Jones: Yay!
[laughs nervously]
Ben Murphy: I mean, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Joel: Yeah, I feel as bad as you do.
Ben Murphy: Now she's using her honeymoon ticket without me. I mean, how is that supposed to make me feel?
Joel: Bad. I think.
Ben Murphy: Three weeks ago, I was the happiest guy in the world, and I just... Now I'm just sitting here with you.
Joel: Thanks. Thanks, Ben. Appreciate that.
Joel: Yeah, I feel as bad as you do.
Ben Murphy: Now she's using her honeymoon ticket without me. I mean, how is that supposed to make me feel?
Joel: Bad. I think.
Ben Murphy: Three weeks ago, I was the happiest guy in the world, and I just... Now I'm just sitting here with you.
Joel: Thanks. Thanks, Ben. Appreciate that.
Joel: Look, don't take this the wrong way, 'cause Sadie's cool, I like her a lot. But there are plenty of fish in the sea. And now is your time to be the king barracuda, and get out there and swim with the sweet tuna. The ocean is yours, man.
Ben Murphy: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Joel: Okay.
[pauses]
Joel: You're a bear. Now, jump in that forest and you gotta tag as many cute, furry bear butts as you can.
Ben Murphy: Joel... You're my best friend, man. You know that?
Joel: Yeah.
Ben Murphy: And I love you. You know that?
Joel: I love you too.
Ben Murphy: But you got to be the worst advice-giver I know. I mean, not only is your advice terrible, but it just backfires at every turn! And now you're talking to me about fish and bears. She's a woman, Joel! I mean, she's an amazing woman. And she's just so beautiful, and she's loving and... It was all right there. And I lost it. And I don't need you telling me that I should go out and find someone else. I mean, I don't need anybody telling me how to go... I don't need anyone telling me...
[rushes up, hurrying out of the bar]
Ben Murphy: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Joel: Okay.
[pauses]
Joel: You're a bear. Now, jump in that forest and you gotta tag as many cute, furry bear butts as you can.
Ben Murphy: Joel... You're my best friend, man. You know that?
Joel: Yeah.
Ben Murphy: And I love you. You know that?
Joel: I love you too.
Ben Murphy: But you got to be the worst advice-giver I know. I mean, not only is your advice terrible, but it just backfires at every turn! And now you're talking to me about fish and bears. She's a woman, Joel! I mean, she's an amazing woman. And she's just so beautiful, and she's loving and... It was all right there. And I lost it. And I don't need you telling me that I should go out and find someone else. I mean, I don't need anybody telling me how to go... I don't need anyone telling me...
[rushes up, hurrying out of the bar]
