Lethal Weapon 4 Quotes
With personal crises and age weighing in on them, LAPD officers Riggs and Murtaugh must contend with a deadly Chinese crimelord trying to get his brother out of prison.
Leo Getz: Hey Riggs, who's the perp? What did ya bust him for?
Lee Butters: Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the fuckin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun.
Leo Getz: Whoa, hey hey hey, put the gun down, put the gun down.
Lee Butters: Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the fuckin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun.
Leo Getz: Whoa, hey hey hey, put the gun down, put the gun down.
[Butters is pointing a gun at Leo's head after being mistaken for a perp]
Butters: License. Registration. Urine Sample.
Leo: Hey, hey, hey, German Jews didn't have it any easier when we were kids, so don't think you're the only one, okay? Okay? Besides, I was just kiddin' with ya. I can smell a cop a mile away.
Butters: Oh, I smell bad, what'chu trying to say?
Leo: Well, stop turning everything around. You're so damned touchy. Hey, we might even work together, me and those two work together, I'm the bomb, they'll tell ya, I'm great.
Butters: Yeah, we're gonna work together as soon as I open up a cereal factory, ya fucking leprechaun.
Leo: Hey, I didn't call you names, ya fuckface! Don't start now!
Butters: License. Registration. Urine Sample.
Leo: Hey, hey, hey, German Jews didn't have it any easier when we were kids, so don't think you're the only one, okay? Okay? Besides, I was just kiddin' with ya. I can smell a cop a mile away.
Butters: Oh, I smell bad, what'chu trying to say?
Leo: Well, stop turning everything around. You're so damned touchy. Hey, we might even work together, me and those two work together, I'm the bomb, they'll tell ya, I'm great.
Butters: Yeah, we're gonna work together as soon as I open up a cereal factory, ya fucking leprechaun.
Leo: Hey, I didn't call you names, ya fuckface! Don't start now!
Martin Riggs: Oh Leo
Leo Getz: Hey Riggs
Martin Riggs: You want to get yourself shot is that It
Leo Getz: No
Martin Riggs: What the hell are you doing here?
Leo Getz: I was tailing you
Leo Getz: I leave you alone okay I mean I guess you want to be alone
Martin Riggs: Okay I appreciate it
Leo Getz: you know when I was a kid I had a pet frog
Martin Riggs: What?
Leo Getz: Just give me a second let me tell you this okay...
Leo Getz: Eh I had this pet frog, his name was froggy he was my best friend in the whole world, I didn't have a lot of friends, as a matter of fact okay I had no friends, and eh I used to kiss the frog too, I thought maybe eh that it would turn into a princess since I was a boy, and eh it could be my mother, they told me that she left or something, and my father was no bargain, and so just the frog, froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and eh I ran him over with the back tire I killed him, I was really heartbroken, really, he was my best friend in the whole world, the only thing I ever loved and then I met you and roger, and you guys really looked after me a lot more then you had to.
Martin Riggs: I am terrible to you Leo.
Leo Getz: No no, it's okay, it's okay, you are my family, you are my friends... you are not better friends then froggy, you are just different, and eh, I just thought that maybe that might be relevant... okay I leave you alone now.
Leo Getz: Hey Riggs
Martin Riggs: You want to get yourself shot is that It
Leo Getz: No
Martin Riggs: What the hell are you doing here?
Leo Getz: I was tailing you
Leo Getz: I leave you alone okay I mean I guess you want to be alone
Martin Riggs: Okay I appreciate it
Leo Getz: you know when I was a kid I had a pet frog
Martin Riggs: What?
Leo Getz: Just give me a second let me tell you this okay...
Leo Getz: Eh I had this pet frog, his name was froggy he was my best friend in the whole world, I didn't have a lot of friends, as a matter of fact okay I had no friends, and eh I used to kiss the frog too, I thought maybe eh that it would turn into a princess since I was a boy, and eh it could be my mother, they told me that she left or something, and my father was no bargain, and so just the frog, froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and eh I ran him over with the back tire I killed him, I was really heartbroken, really, he was my best friend in the whole world, the only thing I ever loved and then I met you and roger, and you guys really looked after me a lot more then you had to.
Martin Riggs: I am terrible to you Leo.
Leo Getz: No no, it's okay, it's okay, you are my family, you are my friends... you are not better friends then froggy, you are just different, and eh, I just thought that maybe that might be relevant... okay I leave you alone now.
[interrogating Uncle Benny at a private dentist's office after accidentally filling the room with nitrous oxide]
Roger Murtaugh: [laughing and pointing to the gas mask that Butters is holding] Hey... Hey, what's that you got there?
Butters: [laughing] Uh... A nut cup? I got some big nuts.
[Roger takes the mask from Butters and inhales deeply]
Roger Murtaugh: That's nitro... oxide?
Butters: [laughing harder] It's laughing gas.
Roger Murtaugh: [hysterical] We... W-W-We're stoned.
Roger Murtaugh: [laughing and pointing to the gas mask that Butters is holding] Hey... Hey, what's that you got there?
Butters: [laughing] Uh... A nut cup? I got some big nuts.
[Roger takes the mask from Butters and inhales deeply]
Roger Murtaugh: That's nitro... oxide?
Butters: [laughing harder] It's laughing gas.
Roger Murtaugh: [hysterical] We... W-W-We're stoned.
Roger Murtaugh: Since I met you, I done some hairy shit, but this is not gonna happen. I'm gonna be a grandfather; you and Lorna are gonna have a baby. He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it.
Martin Riggs: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey, if he gets away, we can track him down later on with a - you know, with a Howitzer or somethin'. Your son-in-law's over there bleedin', we should get him and get the hell out of here. Anyway, it's rainin'.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, it's rainin'.
Martin Riggs: I'm too old for this shit, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Guy's too damned good.
Martin Riggs: Well, yeah, he's damn good. I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that? I mean, he took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that? Huh? How?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah... okay. Let's go ask him.
Martin Riggs: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey, if he gets away, we can track him down later on with a - you know, with a Howitzer or somethin'. Your son-in-law's over there bleedin', we should get him and get the hell out of here. Anyway, it's rainin'.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, it's rainin'.
Martin Riggs: I'm too old for this shit, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Guy's too damned good.
Martin Riggs: Well, yeah, he's damn good. I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that? I mean, he took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that? Huh? How?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah... okay. Let's go ask him.
[Leo tries to find his bags on Roger's boat]
Leo: Okay, you said "aft," right?
Roger Murtaugh: A-F-T. Aft.
Leo: That's a fucking word?
Roger Murtaugh: In the back of the cabin on the right side, Leo.
Leo: Well, why didn't you say that in the first place, ROGER? I love these people. Put them around boats and water and all of the sudden everything becomes fucking nautical. "Astern. Avast you landlubbers. Man the bilge pumps." Pump your fucking ass.
Leo: Okay, you said "aft," right?
Roger Murtaugh: A-F-T. Aft.
Leo: That's a fucking word?
Roger Murtaugh: In the back of the cabin on the right side, Leo.
Leo: Well, why didn't you say that in the first place, ROGER? I love these people. Put them around boats and water and all of the sudden everything becomes fucking nautical. "Astern. Avast you landlubbers. Man the bilge pumps." Pump your fucking ass.
Leo Getz: They fuck you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're fuckin' you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. Y'know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - -which they know you're gonna do. - -they charge you for that fuckin' first minute again at that high rate.
Martin Riggs: I'll draw his fire and you run for cover.
Roger Murtaugh: No. No, no, no. *I'll* draw his fire and *you* run for cover.
Martin Riggs: What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, kids. I got a lot less to lose than you.
Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but Lorna's pregnant and you're gonna be a father.
Martin Riggs: No. Get going. Get... what did you say?
Roger Murtaugh: You're gonna be a father.
Roger Murtaugh: No. No, no, no. *I'll* draw his fire and *you* run for cover.
Martin Riggs: What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, kids. I got a lot less to lose than you.
Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but Lorna's pregnant and you're gonna be a father.
Martin Riggs: No. Get going. Get... what did you say?
Roger Murtaugh: You're gonna be a father.
Roger Murtaugh: Assault gun... who's this joker?
Martin Riggs: I don't know, spokesman for the NRA, maybe.
Roger Murtaugh: Regular asshole. What do we do now?
Martin Riggs: Run him over.
Roger Murtaugh: What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle?
Martin Riggs: Well he hasn't yet. Have you thought about that?
Roger Murtaugh: Well, what if he does?
Martin Riggs: Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. Come on, Rodge, be positive.
Roger Murtaugh: Positive?
Martin Riggs: Yeah!
Roger Murtaugh: Well, let's run him over!
Martin Riggs: Good, I'm glad you see things my way.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, yeah, I hope he doesn't turn around!
Martin Riggs: He won't turn around. We'll creep up on him, nice and slow, so he won't notice.
Roger Murtaugh: Okay...
Martin Riggs: Will him not to turn.
[starts the car forward]
Roger Murtaugh: Will him?
Martin Riggs: The power of positive thinking. Don't turn around... don't turn around... Come on, I need you, man!
Roger Murtaugh: Don't turn around!
Martin Riggs: Believe it! We're better than him! We're better than him!
Roger Murtaugh: Don't turn!
Martin Riggs: That's it. Don't turn...
[the human tank turns]
Martin Riggs: He's turning.
Roger Murtaugh: AH, SHIT!
[Riggs swerves the car to the side and they both duck as the tank opens fire]
Martin Riggs: I don't know, spokesman for the NRA, maybe.
Roger Murtaugh: Regular asshole. What do we do now?
Martin Riggs: Run him over.
Roger Murtaugh: What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle?
Martin Riggs: Well he hasn't yet. Have you thought about that?
Roger Murtaugh: Well, what if he does?
Martin Riggs: Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. Come on, Rodge, be positive.
Roger Murtaugh: Positive?
Martin Riggs: Yeah!
Roger Murtaugh: Well, let's run him over!
Martin Riggs: Good, I'm glad you see things my way.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, yeah, I hope he doesn't turn around!
Martin Riggs: He won't turn around. We'll creep up on him, nice and slow, so he won't notice.
Roger Murtaugh: Okay...
Martin Riggs: Will him not to turn.
[starts the car forward]
Roger Murtaugh: Will him?
Martin Riggs: The power of positive thinking. Don't turn around... don't turn around... Come on, I need you, man!
Roger Murtaugh: Don't turn around!
Martin Riggs: Believe it! We're better than him! We're better than him!
Roger Murtaugh: Don't turn!
Martin Riggs: That's it. Don't turn...
[the human tank turns]
Martin Riggs: He's turning.
Roger Murtaugh: AH, SHIT!
[Riggs swerves the car to the side and they both duck as the tank opens fire]
[Looking at a corpse]
Butters: Ah, shit. He's dead, man. He's fuckin' dead, man. Yeah, this is how he wanted to come to America, right? Where was he, in The Killing Section? This guy's been shot 4 times. At close range, like he was executed.
Roger Murtaugh: He WAS executed.
Martin Riggs: Yeah, by the crew.
Butters: What the FUCK, man? We got people gettin' killed left, right and center in this town; now we're IMPORTING victims? Hey, gangbangers wanna kill each other? No problem. You or me, one of us gets shot? Hey, occupational hazard. But just a normal guy, THIS fuckin' guy? What the fuck did he ever do to anybody? That ain't right.
Butters: Ah, shit. He's dead, man. He's fuckin' dead, man. Yeah, this is how he wanted to come to America, right? Where was he, in The Killing Section? This guy's been shot 4 times. At close range, like he was executed.
Roger Murtaugh: He WAS executed.
Martin Riggs: Yeah, by the crew.
Butters: What the FUCK, man? We got people gettin' killed left, right and center in this town; now we're IMPORTING victims? Hey, gangbangers wanna kill each other? No problem. You or me, one of us gets shot? Hey, occupational hazard. But just a normal guy, THIS fuckin' guy? What the fuck did he ever do to anybody? That ain't right.
Dr. Stephanie Woods: My time is reserved for police officers with REAL problems and REAL needs. HAVE YOU GOT THAT? HAVE YOU?
Martin Riggs: Care to run that by me again?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: No! And do you know what? I don't like you.
[she walks away]
Martin Riggs: Stephanie?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: [turns around, shocked] Stephanie...?
Martin Riggs: I can't go out with you. I'm in a relationship, I'm very happy. Now you'll find somebody someday, but you've got to stop bothering me...
Dr. Stephanie Woods: [painfully embarrassed] You're disgusting. YOU'RE DISGUSTING!
[to onlookers]
Dr. Stephanie Woods: What's the matter with you people?
Martin Riggs: Care to run that by me again?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: No! And do you know what? I don't like you.
[she walks away]
Martin Riggs: Stephanie?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: [turns around, shocked] Stephanie...?
Martin Riggs: I can't go out with you. I'm in a relationship, I'm very happy. Now you'll find somebody someday, but you've got to stop bothering me...
Dr. Stephanie Woods: [painfully embarrassed] You're disgusting. YOU'RE DISGUSTING!
[to onlookers]
Dr. Stephanie Woods: What's the matter with you people?
[while the "Human Tank" is bearing down on them]
Martin Riggs: Here's what we're gonna do! Take your clothes off!
Roger Murtaugh: What the hell for?
Martin Riggs: What for?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah!
Martin Riggs: Okay, you run, Flame-O here turns and sees you in your undies, it distracts him - I know it'd distract me - and that's when I shoot!
Roger Murtaugh: Shoot what?
Martin Riggs: The valve on that napalm tank!
Roger Murtaugh: You're gonna hit that itty-bitty valve before he shoots me?
Martin Riggs: Maybe.
Roger Murtaugh: *Maybe*?
Martin Riggs: Here's what we're gonna do! Take your clothes off!
Roger Murtaugh: What the hell for?
Martin Riggs: What for?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah!
Martin Riggs: Okay, you run, Flame-O here turns and sees you in your undies, it distracts him - I know it'd distract me - and that's when I shoot!
Roger Murtaugh: Shoot what?
Martin Riggs: The valve on that napalm tank!
Roger Murtaugh: You're gonna hit that itty-bitty valve before he shoots me?
Martin Riggs: Maybe.
Roger Murtaugh: *Maybe*?
Capt. Ed Murphy: We're dinosaurs headed for extinction.
Martin Riggs: Speak for yourself...
Capt. Ed Murphy: Gotta make way for the NEW-IMPROVED police department; guys with guns and psychology degrees, like Butters, out there.
Martin Riggs: Biter has a psychology degree?
Roger Murtaugh: More like a PSYCHO degree.
Capt. Ed Murphy: Ah, hell, I got nothin' against it; times have gotta change. Hey, I almost got shot by a hot-rodder with a zip gun; that's how far back *I* go.
Martin Riggs: Speak for yourself...
Capt. Ed Murphy: Gotta make way for the NEW-IMPROVED police department; guys with guns and psychology degrees, like Butters, out there.
Martin Riggs: Biter has a psychology degree?
Roger Murtaugh: More like a PSYCHO degree.
Capt. Ed Murphy: Ah, hell, I got nothin' against it; times have gotta change. Hey, I almost got shot by a hot-rodder with a zip gun; that's how far back *I* go.
Martin Riggs: What's goin' on Rog, why you lyin' to me? Where's the money coming from? IA says you're on the take.
Roger Murtaugh: You ever hear of Ebony Clarke?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, she writes those cheesy sex novels... why? You boinkin' her?
Roger Murtaugh: No I'm not boinkin' her, Trish is Ebony Clarke.
Martin Riggs: You *are* boinkin' her.
Roger Murtaugh: [big grin] Yeah, Yeah I'm boinkin' her.
Roger Murtaugh: You ever hear of Ebony Clarke?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, she writes those cheesy sex novels... why? You boinkin' her?
Roger Murtaugh: No I'm not boinkin' her, Trish is Ebony Clarke.
Martin Riggs: You *are* boinkin' her.
Roger Murtaugh: [big grin] Yeah, Yeah I'm boinkin' her.
