Lethal Weapon 3 Quotes
Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh pursue an arms dealer who is a former LAPD officer.
Leo Getz: Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?
[Murtaugh rolls his eyes at Riggs]
Leo Getz: Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus!
Martin Riggs: I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?
Leo Getz: Oh, that's great, Riggs. Ha ha. That's great. Well, you know what I say? They FUCK you at the hospital! First they drug you, then they FUCK you! And when they're done FUCKING you, along comes the insurance company and FUCKS you some more! Ten dollars for a FUCKING aspirin...
[Murtaugh rolls his eyes at Riggs]
Leo Getz: Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus!
Martin Riggs: I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?
Leo Getz: Oh, that's great, Riggs. Ha ha. That's great. Well, you know what I say? They FUCK you at the hospital! First they drug you, then they FUCK you! And when they're done FUCKING you, along comes the insurance company and FUCKS you some more! Ten dollars for a FUCKING aspirin...
Martin Riggs: After all the shit we've been through, don't you get it? Don't you get it? When you retire, you're not just retiring you, you're retiring us. You're retiring us.
Roger Murtaugh: That's not my problem. That's not my problem!
Martin Riggs: You're the only family I've got! I've got three beautiful kids, I love them, they're yours. Trish does my laundry, I live in your icebox, I live in your life! What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do?
Roger Murtaugh: That's not my problem. That's not my problem!
Martin Riggs: You're the only family I've got! I've got three beautiful kids, I love them, they're yours. Trish does my laundry, I live in your icebox, I live in your life! What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do?
Roger Murtaugh: Seven days to retirement, I'm busted down to patrolman.
Martin Riggs: I should have cut the red wire.
Roger Murtaugh: You did cut the red wire.
Martin Riggs: No, I didn't, I cut the blue wire.
Roger Murtaugh: That's what I meant. We should have waited for the bomb squad!
Martin Riggs: Am I gonna have to listen to this every day?
Roger Murtaugh: Every day until I retire.
Martin Riggs: Well, that'll be a week too long for me.
Roger Murtaugh: My feet are killing me...
Martin Riggs: Yeah, your feet are killing me, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Well, how could my feet be killing you?
Martin Riggs: 'Cause I gotta listen to you bitch about them all day!
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, and you're gonna have to listen to me bitch, because you should have cut the red wire!
Martin Riggs: I should have cut the red wire.
Roger Murtaugh: You did cut the red wire.
Martin Riggs: No, I didn't, I cut the blue wire.
Roger Murtaugh: That's what I meant. We should have waited for the bomb squad!
Martin Riggs: Am I gonna have to listen to this every day?
Roger Murtaugh: Every day until I retire.
Martin Riggs: Well, that'll be a week too long for me.
Roger Murtaugh: My feet are killing me...
Martin Riggs: Yeah, your feet are killing me, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Well, how could my feet be killing you?
Martin Riggs: 'Cause I gotta listen to you bitch about them all day!
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, and you're gonna have to listen to me bitch, because you should have cut the red wire!
Martin Riggs: Look, that kid was a killer, alright? That wasn't a Tinker Toy in his hand, that was a machine pistol with twin carbies and all the trimmings, man! He would've drilled you, me, anybody that came along, alright? You had no choice.
Roger Murtaugh: Oh no, it didn't happen to you, Riggs, it happened to me! It happened to me! I killed that kid, I killed that boy. Oh yeah, oh you killed a lot of people, you kill a fuckin' lot of people. You ever kill a baby?
Martin Riggs: You selfish...
Roger Murtaugh: You got ice in your veins. You don't kill a boy like Nick.
Martin Riggs: You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard, you're just thinking about yourself! What about me? We're partners, we are partners. What happens to you, happens to me.
Roger Murtaugh: Oh no, it didn't happen to you, Riggs, it happened to me! It happened to me! I killed that kid, I killed that boy. Oh yeah, oh you killed a lot of people, you kill a fuckin' lot of people. You ever kill a baby?
Martin Riggs: You selfish...
Roger Murtaugh: You got ice in your veins. You don't kill a boy like Nick.
Martin Riggs: You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard, you're just thinking about yourself! What about me? We're partners, we are partners. What happens to you, happens to me.
[Riggs and Murtaugh look sheepishly at the other cops on the building explosion scene. Murtaugh can only hold up the stray cat. The others applaud sarcastically]
Policeman who says 'Bravo' after explosion: Bravo.
[Riggs and Murtaugh sink back behind their car]
Martin Riggs: Oops!
Roger Murtaugh: Right, oops.
Policeman who says 'Bravo' after explosion: Bravo.
[Riggs and Murtaugh sink back behind their car]
Martin Riggs: Oops!
Roger Murtaugh: Right, oops.
Martin Riggs: Hey, Ernie.
Ernie - Detective: Hey, Riggs. Cut any loose wires lately?
Martin Riggs: Nah, I haven't done that for a couple days now.
Ernie - Detective: Right. Next time...
Martin Riggs, Ernie - Detective: Wait for the bomb squad.
Ernie - Detective: Yeah, wait for the bomb squad! It's our job, remember?
Martin Riggs: Hey, I saved a cat. What else do you want?
Ernie - Detective: Great. I love cats.
Ernie - Detective: Hey, Riggs. Cut any loose wires lately?
Martin Riggs: Nah, I haven't done that for a couple days now.
Ernie - Detective: Right. Next time...
Martin Riggs, Ernie - Detective: Wait for the bomb squad.
Ernie - Detective: Yeah, wait for the bomb squad! It's our job, remember?
Martin Riggs: Hey, I saved a cat. What else do you want?
Ernie - Detective: Great. I love cats.
Captain Ed Murphy: Wait a minute! Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case.
Ernie - Detective: From what I've seen of their records, the only thing they do contribute is mayhem and chaos.
Martin Riggs: No, I'm Chaos, and he's Mayhem. We're a double act. What are we, required reading, or something?
Lorna Cole: As a matter of fact, you are. It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.
Ernie - Detective: From what I've seen of their records, the only thing they do contribute is mayhem and chaos.
Martin Riggs: No, I'm Chaos, and he's Mayhem. We're a double act. What are we, required reading, or something?
Lorna Cole: As a matter of fact, you are. It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.
Jack Travis: You know what a future a cop has, Murph? None. You punch a clock for 30 years, retirement, pension... nothin' to do. Drunk at noon, bullet in the brain by evening. Well, not for this kid! The police department's got it all: guns, ammo, drugs, cash... it's a one-stop shopping center. If you've got the balls and the brains, there's not a fucking thing anyone can do about it!
Tyrone: You sunk your money into this, all the way out here in the middle of the fucking desert?
Jack Travis: That's right. You know why this is such a gold mine?
Tyrone: Do tell me.
Jack Travis: Because nobody wants to live next to somebody like you, Tyrone. You're a menace to society.
Tyrone: Jack, I came out here to do business, not be insulted by you.
Jack Travis: Relax, Tyrone. Like houses, friendships need strong foundations.
Jack Travis: That's right. You know why this is such a gold mine?
Tyrone: Do tell me.
Jack Travis: Because nobody wants to live next to somebody like you, Tyrone. You're a menace to society.
Tyrone: Jack, I came out here to do business, not be insulted by you.
Jack Travis: Relax, Tyrone. Like houses, friendships need strong foundations.
