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Manhattanite Ashley is known to many as the luckiest woman around. After a chance encounter with a down-and-out young man, however, she realizes that she's swapped her fortune for his.
Madame Z: Look, did anything unusual happen at that party? Ashley Albright: Oh... Well besides the fact that I tore my dress, nearly choked to death, and the felony charges... no. Madame Z: Yikes! How about before that? Ashley Albright: Well, I mean, I kissed a cute guy, but... that's hardly unusual. Wait a second. You said I could lose it to someone else, right? So does that mean he took my luck from me? Madame Z: Maybe he needed it more than you. Ashley Albright: So he stole it? That little whack-kissing bandit! No, that is just my luck, okay? And you're going to help me and tell me how to get it back. Madame Z: Me? Well, let's see. Uh... If he took it from you with a kiss... Then it stands to reason... Ashley Albright: What?
[Dougie is playing his base and a string breaks and hit Danny in the eye] Danny Jones: Ow my eye! Dougie Poynter: My A string!
Jake Hardin: You're firing me? You don't even pay me. Harry Judd: Look, Jake, you're good, I mean, you did find us. But it's just... Jake Hardin: But? What's the but? Tom Fletcher: But we just think it's time to go home Jake Hardin: No! You can't go back home. We're this close Tom Fletcher: We haven't had any lucky breaks here and... Danny Jones: Yea, poor Doug misses his mum McFly: Yea Danny Jones: He does, he cries every night Danny Jones: [Dougie punches Danny] Ah Jake Hardin: One week. How's that? one week. You give me one week, and if I can't make it happen for you guys by then, then I get it. We're done. You can go back home. No hard feelings. One week. Tom Fletcher: Ok. One week Jake Hardin: One week Tom Fletcher: One week Jake Hardin: All right, get some rest guys Danny Jones: Your mum's going to have to wait one more week Doug! hahaa Jake Hardin: One week.
Jake Hardin: [sees Ashley put in one side of the light bulb] And she should've turned the light off because now she's going to be... Ashley Albright: [light sparks] AAAAAAAAAA! Jake Hardin: ...electrocuted. Jake Hardin: [catching Ashley as she falls backwards] Hi. Ashley Albright: [gasps] Oh, my God... Hi.
Harry Judd: [after dropping drumstick] Oh bollocks!
Ashley Albright: Here we go again. Maggie you've known me since Seventh Grade, right? Okay, will you please tell her that I'm not lucky. Maggie: Well, you were voted prom queen at Franklin High. Ashley Albright: So? Maggie: We went to Jefferson!
Ashley Albright: Jake... Jake is the guy I kissed at the masquerade bash. Dana: Uh-uh. Ashley Albright: Yes! Dana: No! Ashley Albright: Yes! Ashley Albright: No! Ashley Albright: Yes. Dana: Yes. That's great. He's hot. Ashley Albright: You don't understand. If I kiss Jake, it's hello fabulous carefree life. Dana: And that's a problem.
Maggie: Because when one door closes... Ashley Albright: ...Two others open.
Danny Jones: [after searching for Harry in the restrooms] He's not in the Men's or Women's!
Jake Hardin: [knocks wall] Okay, look, I know you guys are nervous, that's fine just... Dougie Poynter: Hold that thought... [grabs bucket, throws up] Tom Fletcher: Good idea [grabs bin, throws up] Danny Jones: wow Jake Hardin: Air fresh... air freshener...
Jake Hardin: Look, I know a job if you're looking for one. Ashley Albright: Really? What's the scam? Jake Hardin: No scam. Ashley Albright: Well, do you want me to join your religion or something? Jake Hardin: No, no religion stuff. It's just a job. You know, a bad job. Crummy pay for crummy hours. Ashley Albright: It still doesn't answer my question: What's the scam? Jake Hardin: Let's just say I know what it's like to be S.O.L. Ashley Albright: "S.O.L."? Jake Hardin: "Shit out of luck". Ashley Albright: What makes you think I'm S.O.L.? Just because I spilt the salt back there? Jake Hardin: [points to the "Wet Paint" sign on the bench that Ashley is sitting on] Yeah. Ashley Albright: [groans] Oh... Jake Hardin: Look, where you are now.... I've been there. Been there? I lived there. I was kinda the Mayor of there. [laughs] Jake Hardin: I'm Jake. Ashley Albright: Ashley. Oh, God. Jake Hardin: No, you got it. Ashley Albright: Oh, my gosh. Jake Hardin: Looks great on you. Ashley Albright: Can anything else... I mean, to be honest, I'm not really dressed for a job interview right now. Jake Hardin: For this one, I think you'll be fine. Ashley Albright: Okay. Jake Hardin: Want to check it out? Ashley Albright: Why are you so nice? Jake Hardin: What? Look, I mean, shit out of luck. That's my thing.
Jake Hardin: Can I give you a ride? Ashley Albright: I only live twenty nine blocks from here. Jake Hardin: Uh, at least take my umbrella. Ashley Albright: I already have one. Jake Hardin: You know, I got a washer-dryer, uh... microwave popcorn, satellite T.V. Ashley Albright: No, I... I really shouldn't. Jake Hardin: Look, I don't do this for just anybody, but I'll even throw in some hot chocolate with those little tiny marshmallows. Ashley Albright: I love the little marshmallows. Jake Hardin: How about you toss the lighting rod and get in. Ashley Albright: Ooh... [sighs] Ashley Albright: Thank you.
Ashley Albright: [to Jake] What can I say? I am a pathetic disaster and I give up.
Jake Hardin: [to Dana about Ashley] I was... just about to ask this lovely lady to dance.
Ashley Albright: Ever since this masquerade bash, it's like I'm the Anti-Midas, and everything I touch turns to crap.
[last lines] Road Worker: Hey, shut the valve! The pipe is broken!
Jake Hardin: So, other than, uh, you know getting zapped, how's the job working out? Ashley Albright: Oh, I can't complain. Jake Hardin: That's good. Ashley Albright: No, I mean, I'm literally not allowed to complain. I had to sign something.
Ashley Albright: [Jake goes to kiss Ashley again] No, no, no. no. I have to go now. Jake Hardin: Uh... Now?
Dana: [to Ashley after she wins on a scratch ticket] You are the luckiest person in the world.
Damon Phillips: You saved my life, Spider-Man. Jake Hardin: Ah, it was nothing, really. Damon Phillips: No, it was something. There's gotta be a way I can repay you, man.
Maggie: [after Jake kisses Ashley and takes away her good luck] Ashley, who was that? Ashley Albright: Umm... I honestly don't know. Maggie: You were just kissing that guy, you honestly don't know? Ashley Albright: Yeah, yeah. [the heel of Ashley's shoe snaps] Ashley Albright: Oh! Maggie: What? Ashley Albright: My shoe.
Ashley Albright: [seeing a helicopter] I thought we were taking a jet. David Pennington: This takes us to the jet. Ashley Albright: Oh... This is definitely going in my diary.
Tough Jailbird: [to Ashley] That's my seat.
[Ashley's cab driver is zooming through traffic this morning] Cab Driver: Wow, that's like five greens in a row. The force is strong this morning. [the cab driver taps his Darth Vader bobble-head for good luck]
[first lines] Ashley Albright: Good morning, Oscar.
Party Detective: Ashley Albright? Ashley Albright: I'm afraid to say yes. Party Detective: You're under arrest. Ashley Albright: Is this about Sarah Jessica Parker's dress?
Katy: [after she gets a big sloppy kiss from both Ashley and Jake] Ugh, I've been slimed!
Ashley Albright: Taxi! [a mass of taxi's stop] Ashley Albright: Sorry, I was just checking something.
Jake Hardin: [as Ashley is changing a light bulb] See that's not good. She should have gone up without the bulb and brought down the old one because now she's gonna be juggling...
Ashley Albright: Yes, my luck is back.
David Pennington: Promise you'll be there. Six o'clock. Ashley Albright: Okay. I'll be the red head that looks like this.
Ashley Albright: [to Maggie] Oh... I never noticed. Is your cat all black? Maggie: Yeah. Why? Ashley Albright: Just curious. Well this is nice. We'll have fun. Everything's gonna be... Oh, my god. Dana: What? Ashley Albright: I have a zit. I have a zit. Girls, I have a zit! [Ashley's hair gets caught in the hair dryer and she smashes the bathroom window] Dana: Ash, are you okay in there? Ashley Albright: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Dana: Ashley? Ash! [Ashley causes the lights in the entire building to blackout]
Jake Hardin: [to himself] Is it me or did I just get lucky?
Peggy Braden: [to Ashley] Oh, and in case you haven't guessed, you're fired!
Ashley Albright: [knocks someone over] Oh, my God!
Jake Hardin: This is my new apartment? Tiffany: I know it's pretty amazing. Home theatre, satellite TV. And at night, with the lights down low, let's just say this place is pretty mind blowing.
Ashley Albright: Dana, how's my 'scope? Dana: Leo, Leo... *tuts* Your moon is in Uranus. Dana: Ooo. Ashley Albright: Doesn't sound pretty.
Ashley Albright: Is this your floor too? Tough Jailbird: What did you say? [punches her]
Maggie: [after McFly plays her song at the Hard Rock] Is that applause or the sound of my nervous system shutting down?
Ashley Albright: Wait, you're Katie? Katy: Last time I checked.
[repeated line] Jake Hardin: Taxi!
Jake Hardin: We've sold out the Hard Rock!
Ashley Albright: [finding a dress with her dry cleaning] This isn't mine. Dana: Who's is it? Ashley Albright: [reading the tag] Sarah Jessica Parker's. [Maggie screams] Dana: What? Ashley Albright: I'm not kidding. Maggie: I didn't know Sarah Jessica Parker lived in your building. Dana: Oh, my God. And look, it's Dolce. Ashley Albright: Oh, my gosh. I can return it tomorrow. Dana: Let me look. Ah, yes. Your size. What are the odds? Maggie: Don't be jealous. Ashley Albright: You know, this might actually look cute on me. Maggie: You can totally wear it tonight. Dana: I'm gonna need some chocolate now. Maggie: I'm gonna need some milk. Ashley Albright: I'm gonna try on the dress.
Jake Hardin: I've been the luckiest guy in the world.
David Pennington: Hold it. [Ashley holds the elevator] David Pennington: Thanks. Ashley Albright: You're welcome.
Dana: So did you? Ashley Albright: Okay, David Pennington is a gentleman. We kissed. Dana: Boring. Ashley Albright: [to Zuki] Check please, Zuki. Zuki, Japanese Maitre D': Okay. Ashley Albright: Thank you. Maggie: So was it a normal kiss or was it a supernatural tingling in your toes butterflies in your tummy kiss. Ashley Albright: It was enough to get him to ask me on another date. [Zuki hands Ashley the bill] Dana: No, no, no, no, no. Uh-uh. Ashley Albright: [to her company credit card] Wait, what's that? [to Dana and Maggie] Ashley Albright: Señor Platibum says lunch is on him. Dana: I can't stand this. Ashley Albright: What? Dana: And now on top of everything else Peggy Braden has given you world wide buying power. There's positive energy and then there's just plain dumb luck.
Ashley Albright: [to Maggie and Dana] Ta-dah! Last one in stock and just my size. Lucky, huh?