Igor Quotes
Animated fable about a cliché hunchbacked evil scientist's assistant who aspires to become a scientist himself, much to the displeasure of the rest of the evil science community.
Igor: Only one thing left to do...
Brain: Ha-ha, he said "do."
Igor: [shouts] Pull the switch!
[Igor's "switch!" echoes several times. Nothing happens. He looks over at Scamper, standing by the switch]
Scamper: Do *not* yell at me.
Igor: Oh, I-I'm sorry. I just... pull the switch?
[No response]
Igor: Please pull the switch.
Scamper: That's better.
Brain: Ha-ha, he said "do."
Igor: [shouts] Pull the switch!
[Igor's "switch!" echoes several times. Nothing happens. He looks over at Scamper, standing by the switch]
Scamper: Do *not* yell at me.
Igor: Oh, I-I'm sorry. I just... pull the switch?
[No response]
Igor: Please pull the switch.
Scamper: That's better.
Igor: [voice over] That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions.
[Scamper drops a giant weight on himself, flattening himself]
Igor: [voice over] I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live.
Scamper: [fills out again] Will *nothing* end this vicious cycle?
Igor: [voice over] I also made him talk, which is a hassle for me, since he never shuts up.
[Scamper drops a giant weight on himself, flattening himself]
Igor: [voice over] I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live.
Scamper: [fills out again] Will *nothing* end this vicious cycle?
Igor: [voice over] I also made him talk, which is a hassle for me, since he never shuts up.
Eva: We haven't met. Hi, I'm Eva.
[extends hand]
Heidi: [whimpers]
Eva: You're upset. I know... 'who's the strange woman living with Igor?' But, I assure you, Igor and I are just friends. As his girlfriend, you have *nothing* to worry about.
Heidi: I'm not hees geerlfriend.
Eva: You're not? But the way he looks at you... he never looks at me that way.
Heidi: Maybe... some men like vomen, who don't look like zey vere put togezer in ze junkyard.
[pause]
Eva: Right.
Heidi: You have a very ugly face.
[extends hand]
Heidi: [whimpers]
Eva: You're upset. I know... 'who's the strange woman living with Igor?' But, I assure you, Igor and I are just friends. As his girlfriend, you have *nothing* to worry about.
Heidi: I'm not hees geerlfriend.
Eva: You're not? But the way he looks at you... he never looks at me that way.
Heidi: Maybe... some men like vomen, who don't look like zey vere put togezer in ze junkyard.
[pause]
Eva: Right.
Heidi: You have a very ugly face.
[first lines]
Igor: [voice over] Nice weather we're having, huh? Here in the Kingdom of Malaria, every day's forecast is rainy, with a 100% chance of horror! It wasn't always like this, though. Years ago, Malaria was a sunny land of farmers, until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in, and never left. They killed our crops, and our people became poor. And that's when King Malpert thought up a new way for us to make money: Evil Inventions! The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again way worse! We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them. Oh, it's a great gig, especially if you're an evil scientist. Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills. They get it all! They're the top of the heap!
Dr. Holzwurm: Igor, pull the switch!
Dr. Holzwurm's Igor: Yes, Master.
Igor: [voice over] And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor schlobs like me, born with a hunch on our back - Igors.
Igor: [voice over] Nice weather we're having, huh? Here in the Kingdom of Malaria, every day's forecast is rainy, with a 100% chance of horror! It wasn't always like this, though. Years ago, Malaria was a sunny land of farmers, until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in, and never left. They killed our crops, and our people became poor. And that's when King Malpert thought up a new way for us to make money: Evil Inventions! The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again way worse! We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them. Oh, it's a great gig, especially if you're an evil scientist. Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills. They get it all! They're the top of the heap!
Dr. Holzwurm: Igor, pull the switch!
Dr. Holzwurm's Igor: Yes, Master.
Igor: [voice over] And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor schlobs like me, born with a hunch on our back - Igors.
Dr. Glickenstein: Now to take the old cow for a test drive!
Igor: No, Master! The rocket is going to...!
[the rocket explodes, scattering pieces of Glickenstein everywhere]
Igor: Uh, yeah, that.
Scamper: Finally! Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer, that thing is hideous.
[off their looks]
Scamper: We were all thinking it, I just said it.
Igor: No, Master! The rocket is going to...!
[the rocket explodes, scattering pieces of Glickenstein everywhere]
Igor: Uh, yeah, that.
Scamper: Finally! Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer, that thing is hideous.
[off their looks]
Scamper: We were all thinking it, I just said it.
