Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man Quotes

The tough biker Harley and his no less tough cowboy friend Marlboro learn that an old friend of theirs will lose his bar, because a bank wants to build a new complex there and demands 2.5 ... See full summary »

Marlboro: Harley, if you were shootin' for shit you wouldn't get a whiff!
Guard: [Harley and Marlboro are robbing an armoured car] Who are you guys?
Marlboro: Well, he's Harley Davidson, and I'm the Marlboro Man.
Guard: You look like a bunch of two-bit hoods to me.
Harley Davidson: [the car's trunk explodes] Now does that look like the work of two-bit hoods?
Guard: Yeah. Pros would've used my keys.
[Harley and Marlboro look at each other]
Harley Davidson: Well, he likes to blow things up.
Harley Davidson: I kicked his ass before.
Marlboro: That was in 3rd grade, and Jack had a broken arm.
Harley Davidson: Yeah, but I'm the one that broke it.
Marlboro: Squeeze the trigger, don't yank it, it's not your dick.
Marlboro: You know, that gun costs about two dollars every time you fire it. That's two bucks a bullet.
Harley Davidson: Well how many'd I hit?
Marlboro: You spent twelve dollars and didn't hit a goddamn thing. I nailed one and it cost about four and a quarter.
Harley Davidson: It's better to be dead and cool, than alive and uncool.
Marlboro: [Walking along brightly lit Las Vegas strip] I hate this fucking town.
Harley Davidson: Hey, man, you don't know anything about this city.
Marlboro: I grew up here, you dumb bastard.
Harley Davidson: I didn't know that.
Marlboro: Yeah, well, what you don't know is a lot.
Harley Davidson: You mean to tell me that real cowboys - I mean shit-kicking rodeo cowboys - come from Vegas?
Marlboro: Some of the best. Perhaps even ONE of the best.
Marlboro: He's gonna take my girl, I'm gonna take his bike.
Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you'll always be left behind.
Marlboro: My old man used to tell me before he left this shitty world, five rules of playing pool for cash. Lesson #1, always shoot with a cigarette in your mouth.
Big Indian: Can't smoke with no fire, asshole.
Marlboro: I quit!, Lesson #2, always know the table before you shoot.
[Marlboro shoots the ball]
Marlboro: Lesson #3, make sure you chalk that stick... REAL GOOD... before each shot!
[Marlboro shoots the ball again]
Marlboro: Lesson #4, never make a bet... if you can't pay the debt.
[Marlboro puts his hat on the table and shoots the ball again]
Marlboro: Lesson #5, if you lose, make sure you stand up straight and tall.
[points to the ball]
Marlboro: that corner... like a man
Marlboro: School's out boys!
Big Indian: You better get out of town, cowboy... before my cord snaps!
Marlboro: I'm good to go, as soon as I have five big bills in my pocket... and your woman in my bed!
Big Indian: Well I ain't got no $500 cowboy, and there's no way in hell you're bedding down my woman.
Harley Davidson: [after wishing Marlboro "Happy Birthday"] How does it feel to be an old man?
Marlboro: The older the bull, the stiffer the horn.
Suzie: [Harley has saved her mini-mart from being robbed] Hey mister... What's your name?
Harley Davidson: Harley. Harley Davidson.
Harley Davidson: We're gonna jump.
Marlboro: Are you out of your fuckin' mind?
Harley Davidson: C'mon, it's the only way.
Marlboro: Uh-uh.
Harley Davidson: You're gonna get shot up here.
Marlboro: Well, you're gonna get squashed down there.
Harley Davidson: I'd rather be squashed than shot.
Marlboro: Not me.
Harley Davidson: Fine, then.
[punches Marlboro]
Harley Davidson: I owe you that.
[Jumps off building into pool below]
Marlboro: I hate you for this... I fuckin' hate you for this.
[Jumps]
Marlboro: I HATE YOU HARLEY... Oh shit!
Harley Davidson: Some rush, eh?
Harley Davidson: You know, if I had a nickel for every time some piece of shit pointed a gun at me I'd be a rich man.
Marlboro: You shot me Harley!, You fucking shot me!, I can't believe you shot me!
Harley Davidson: I can take care of the bike, but I can't take care of the bitch.
Marlboro: Guns are meant to be shot Harley, not thrown!
Alexander: You boys are good... for dilettantes.
Alexander: Judging from the data we gathered, they're dilettantes.
Jimmy Jiles: Jack, the deal is, YOU LOSE. You don't tear the guy's arm out of the socket!
Marlboro: Lay off my boots Harley!, I'm in no fucking mood.
Disc Jockey: There's a new drug out there called Crystal Dream. Now, what it is, you don't shoot it, you don't smoke it, you don't snort it. Apparently, you put it in your eyes, and it tells you lies.
Harley Davidson: Looks like you jumped on the wrong horse there cowboy! In case you didn't notice, you're the only cowboy in this place.
Big Indian: He ain't a cowboy, he's more like a pretty boy.
Marlboro: You know, my old man told me before he left this shitty world that there would be blue-bellied chicken shit bastards like you out there!
Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, the right woman can make ya, and the wrong woman can break ya.
Virginia Slim: Robert, you've got to tell me where you are.
Marlboro: Nope, can't do that. I've already dug enough graves, and none of them my own.
Harley Davidson: You know, this really pisses me off. Your store has such nice clean filtered fresh air and it just takes a couple of scumbags to stink it up.

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