Hair

Hair Quotes

Claude leaves the family ranch in Oklahoma for New York where he is rapidly indoctrinated into the youth subculture and subsequently drafted.

Hippy: The draft is white people sending black people to make war on the yellow people to defend the land they stole from the red people!
Berger: Bukowski!
Claude Bukowski: Yes, Sergeant!
Berger: Let's move it out!
Claude Bukowski: Yes, Sergeant!
Berger: Double time, soldier.
Claude Bukowski: Yes, Sergeant!
Claude Bukowski: Sir?
Berger: In the car, soldier!
Claude Bukowski: Yes, Sergeant!
Berger: Are you an asshole, soldier?
Claude Bukowski: No, Sergeant!
Berger: That's too bad, because I am.
Prison Psychiatrist: And men?
Woof: What do you mean...?
Prison Psychiatrist: You have any sexual attraction towards men?
Woof: You mean if I'm a homosexual or something like that?
Prison Psychiatrist: Yeah.
Woof: Well, I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger out of my bed, but uh, I'm not a homosexual, no.
Berger, Hud, Woof: [in song] Hair like Jesus wore it. Hallelujah! I adore it! Hallelujah! Mary loved her son. Why don't my mother love me?
Jeannie: I know who the father is.
Hud: Yeah, you know that, you know a lot. If the baby comes out all white and squishy-like, crying his ass off, then we know Woof is definitely the daddy. But if he comes out all beautiful and chocolate brown, that's mine!
Sheila, Jeannie: [in song] Gliddy glup goopy, nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo. Sabba sibby sabba, nooby abba nabba le le lo lo. Tooby ooby walla, nooby abba nabba. Early morning singing song.
Sheila: [after receiving Claude's letter] So, I was thinking of writing him. What should I say?
Jeannie: Oh! I wanna say something! I wanna say... um... tell him I said... um... Jeannie says 'Hi!'
Berger: Where you from?
Claude Bukowski: Oklahoma.
Jeannie: listen man I know what how it feels, I used to come from Kansas myself.
'Aquarius' soloist: [In song] When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planet and love will steer the stars. This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
Berger: What do you say, Pop?
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: What do you say what?
Mr. Berger, George's Father: If you need money, get a job.
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: Money? You're talking about money? What you need money for?
Berger: Nothin', Ma, I just need it.
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: Who is she?
Berger: Who is who?
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: The girl. Who is the girl?
Berger: What are you talkin' about? There's no girl.
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: Who is the girl? You can tell us everything, we understand everything! Tell us the truth!
Berger: What are you talkin' about, tell you the truth?
Mr. Berger, George's Father: Goddammit, every time you come home there's trouble. Why don't you clean yourself up a bit? Why don't you get a haircut? Get a haircut and I'll give you the money, you don't even have to pay it back.
Berger: [angry] You'll give me the money if I get a haircut?
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: [to Berger] Give me your pants!
Berger: The pants are clean!
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: Give me your pants!
Berger: [yelling] Why? They're clean, for Christ's sake!
[Mom gets upset and walks away; Berger follows her into the hallway]
Mrs. Berger, George's Mother: [softly] How much you need?
Steve: We'll have it
[the money]
Steve: for you at four o'clock.
Berger: See, that's just what my other problem is, man.
Steve: What?
Berger: You're full of shit.
[Sheila laughs]
Chorus: [singing] Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, shining gleaming steaming flaxen waxen. Give me it down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer, here, baby, there, mamma, everywhere, daddy daddy hair! Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!
Woof, Hud, Berger: [singing] Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short.
Jeannie: So, do you wanna to get married?
Claude Bukowski: To who?
Jeannie: Me!
Claude Bukowski: [On his decision to go to war] You do what you have to do, and I'm going to do what I have to do.
Hud: Who are you doing it for?
Claude Bukowski: I'm doing it for *you*, man.
Hud: Oh, don't hand me that. Look, if you're doing it for me, don't, because if the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't do it for you.

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