Gremlins 2: The New Batch Quotes
The Gremlins are back, and this time, they've taken total control over the building of a media mogul.
Grandpa Fred: [interviewing Brain Gremlin] Creature what is it that you want?
Brain Gremlin: Fred, what we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you and your viewers have: civilization.
Grandpa Fred: Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?
Brain Gremlin: The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized.
[a Gremlin with a beanie cap acts goofy next to Brain]
Brain Gremlin: You take a look at this fellow here.
[Brain shoots the Gremlin in the head. The Gremlins in the bar laugh. Grandpa Fred and Kujitsu leave]
Brain Gremlin: Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now, bear in mind, none of us has been in New York before. There are the Broadway shows - we'll have to find out how to get tickets. There's also a lot of street crime, but I believe we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes. Complete bedroom groups. Convenient credit, even though we've been turned down in the past.
Brain Gremlin: Fred, what we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you and your viewers have: civilization.
Grandpa Fred: Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?
Brain Gremlin: The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized.
[a Gremlin with a beanie cap acts goofy next to Brain]
Brain Gremlin: You take a look at this fellow here.
[Brain shoots the Gremlin in the head. The Gremlins in the bar laugh. Grandpa Fred and Kujitsu leave]
Brain Gremlin: Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now, bear in mind, none of us has been in New York before. There are the Broadway shows - we'll have to find out how to get tickets. There's also a lot of street crime, but I believe we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes. Complete bedroom groups. Convenient credit, even though we've been turned down in the past.
Gremlin #1: [repeated phrase while on telephone in stock exchange] BUY! BUY! BUY!
Gremlin #2: [repeated phrase while on telephone in stock exchange] SELL! SELL! SELL!
Brain Gremlin: [on telephone] Well, it's rather brutal here. Right now we are advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.
Gremlin #2: [repeated phrase while on telephone in stock exchange] SELL! SELL! SELL!
Brain Gremlin: [on telephone] Well, it's rather brutal here. Right now we are advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.
Kate Peltzer: [enters elevator]
Elevator: [a bit garbled] Please state your desired floor.
Kate Peltzer: Thirty-Eight
Gremlins: Thirty Eight. *Thirty Eight* *Thirty Eight!*
Gremlins: Going up.
Kate Peltzer: [worried/unsure as the elevator starts going up at an alarming rate. The floor number indicator counts up faster and faster and soon passes floor 38, soon she panics] Elevator stop!
[the elevator stops with a jolt]
Kate Peltzer: [after a beat] Sound alarm.
Gremlins: [imitating alarm] Erhn! Ehrn! Erhn! Erhn!
Gremlins: [after a short while we are taken back to the scene where Kate is still stuck in the elevator worried] HA HA HA
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Legs] Make a wish!
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Hair] Ah, Hair!
Elevator: [talking gibberish and then one says clearly] Going down.
Lady: [the elevator goes down at an alarming rate. Many gremlins are on the outside of the lift as it rushes down and then crashes splattering them into a green mush]
Elevator: [all garbled up and dying as the doors open to reveal a couple and Kate about half a floor down inside covered with green gremlin blood] The elevator doors have opened. Please watch your step.
Kate Peltzer: [Kate looks around at the destruction and is left dazed] Uh, Uh
Lady: We'll... we'll get the next one.
Elevator: [a bit garbled] Please state your desired floor.
Kate Peltzer: Thirty-Eight
Gremlins: Thirty Eight. *Thirty Eight* *Thirty Eight!*
Gremlins: Going up.
Kate Peltzer: [worried/unsure as the elevator starts going up at an alarming rate. The floor number indicator counts up faster and faster and soon passes floor 38, soon she panics] Elevator stop!
[the elevator stops with a jolt]
Kate Peltzer: [after a beat] Sound alarm.
Gremlins: [imitating alarm] Erhn! Ehrn! Erhn! Erhn!
Gremlins: [after a short while we are taken back to the scene where Kate is still stuck in the elevator worried] HA HA HA
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Legs] Make a wish!
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Hair] Ah, Hair!
Elevator: [talking gibberish and then one says clearly] Going down.
Lady: [the elevator goes down at an alarming rate. Many gremlins are on the outside of the lift as it rushes down and then crashes splattering them into a green mush]
Elevator: [all garbled up and dying as the doors open to reveal a couple and Kate about half a floor down inside covered with green gremlin blood] The elevator doors have opened. Please watch your step.
Kate Peltzer: [Kate looks around at the destruction and is left dazed] Uh, Uh
Lady: We'll... we'll get the next one.
Peggy, the Lab Receptionist: Dr. Catheter, this just came for you.
Dr. Catheter: Ah, splendid. This must be my malaria.
[sees it's not]
Dr. Catheter: Rabies. I've got rabies, and I'm supposed to get the flu this week.
Peggy, the Lab Receptionist: I think we have the flu out on back order.
[sneezes into tissue]
Dr. Catheter: May I have that Peggy?
Peggy, the Lab Receptionist: Sure.
Dr. Catheter: Thank you.
[stuffs it into his pocket; muttering to himself]
Dr. Catheter: Back order, back order. All a man wants is some fresh germs!
Dr. Catheter: Ah, splendid. This must be my malaria.
[sees it's not]
Dr. Catheter: Rabies. I've got rabies, and I'm supposed to get the flu this week.
Peggy, the Lab Receptionist: I think we have the flu out on back order.
[sneezes into tissue]
Dr. Catheter: May I have that Peggy?
Peggy, the Lab Receptionist: Sure.
Dr. Catheter: Thank you.
[stuffs it into his pocket; muttering to himself]
Dr. Catheter: Back order, back order. All a man wants is some fresh germs!
[News reporters are being kept out of the Clamp building by the New York City Police]
Heidi Kempf: Look, officer. Just let us in there. We'll take the responsibility.
Cop: Forget it, lady. Most of the people are out of there now.
Eric Shawn: Well, then what's in there. I've been to Beirut.
Cop: Yeah? I'll bet they miss you there.
Heidi Kempf: Look, officer. Just let us in there. We'll take the responsibility.
Cop: Forget it, lady. Most of the people are out of there now.
Eric Shawn: Well, then what's in there. I've been to Beirut.
Cop: Yeah? I'll bet they miss you there.
Hulk Hogan: Okay you guys, listen up! People pay good money to see this movie! When they go out to a theater they want cold sodas, hot popcorn, and no monsters in the projection booth! Do I have to come up there myself? Do you think the Gremsters can stand up to the Hulkster? Well, if I were you, I'd run the rest of Gremlins 2! Right now! Sorry folks, it won't happen again.
[theater audience applauds and cheers]
[theater audience applauds and cheers]
