Ghostbusters II Quotes
The discovery of a massive river of ectoplasm and a resurgence of spectral activity allows the staff of Ghostbusters to revive the business.
Louis Tully: Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
[the courtroom is in bewildered silence]
Egon: Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.
[the courtroom is in bewildered silence]
Egon: Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless.
Egon: Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Peter Venkman: 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
Ray: He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman: Ouch.
Winston: Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Egon: No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter Venkman: Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray: And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."
Peter Venkman: 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?
Ray: He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman: Ouch.
Winston: Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?
Egon: No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter Venkman: Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray: And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."
Peter Venkman: [to Egon] Who told you to stop cutting? Somebody tell you to stop cutting?
First Cop: What are you guys doing here?
Peter Venkman: [to First Cop] You tell him to stop cutting?
First Cop: Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter Venkman: What's it look like we're doing here? Why don't you let us work? We let you work.
Ray: [to Peter] Hey, take it easy.
[to First Cop]
Ray: He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here. We're here because some diaper bag downtown's being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter Venkman: Of course you're right, Raymond.
[to Egon]
Peter Venkman: Is he right, Ziggy?
Egon: [pause] Yo!
First Cop: What are you guys doing here?
Peter Venkman: [to First Cop] You tell him to stop cutting?
First Cop: Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter Venkman: What's it look like we're doing here? Why don't you let us work? We let you work.
Ray: [to Peter] Hey, take it easy.
[to First Cop]
Ray: He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here. We're here because some diaper bag downtown's being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter Venkman: Of course you're right, Raymond.
[to Egon]
Peter Venkman: Is he right, Ziggy?
Egon: [pause] Yo!
Peter Venkman: You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a *Carpathian* would come back to life now and choose New York! Tasty pick, bonehead! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in Southern California's beautiful San Fernando Valley!
Peter Venkman: [to Dana] Well you're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling... "Carpathian Kitten Loss" He misses his kitty! Well we'll just place one in here right by the castle
[Peter grabs a brush and moves towards the Vigo painting]
Janosz: [Trying to stop Peter] Don't go 'round altering valuable art Dr. Venkman... go... yes, I think; go... the joyfulness is over!
Dana: [to Janosz] He's kidding.
Peter Venkman: Well, you're not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal!
[Peter grabs a brush and moves towards the Vigo painting]
Janosz: [Trying to stop Peter] Don't go 'round altering valuable art Dr. Venkman... go... yes, I think; go... the joyfulness is over!
Dana: [to Janosz] He's kidding.
Peter Venkman: Well, you're not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal!
The Mayor: What the hell is going on? It's pandemonium out there!
Hardemeyer: Yes, I know. We're working on it!
The Mayor: Great. While you're working on it, I'm going down as the mayor who let New York get sucked down into the tenth level of hell! Alright, we got no choice. Call the Ghostbusters.
Hardemeyer: Wait! Now I'm sure there's another way.
The Mayor: Jack, I spent an hour last night in my bedroom talking to Fiorello LaGuardia and he's been dead for forty years. Now where are the Ghostbusters?
Hardemeyer: Uh, they're not available.
The Mayor: What do you mean they're not available?
Hardemeyer: Well, I had them committed to the psychiatric ward at Parkview Hospital.
The Mayor: You what?
Hardemeyer: They were threatening to go to the press! I was protecting your interests!
The Mayor: Oh yeah?
Hardemeyer: Uh-huh!
The Mayor: Well, you can stop protecting my interests. You have exactly three minutes to clear out. You're fired!
Hardemeyer: But the election! You're making a big mistake, Mr. Mayor!
The Mayor: Harry! Remove this man from the building and get me the Ghostbusters!
Hardemeyer: Yes, I know. We're working on it!
The Mayor: Great. While you're working on it, I'm going down as the mayor who let New York get sucked down into the tenth level of hell! Alright, we got no choice. Call the Ghostbusters.
Hardemeyer: Wait! Now I'm sure there's another way.
The Mayor: Jack, I spent an hour last night in my bedroom talking to Fiorello LaGuardia and he's been dead for forty years. Now where are the Ghostbusters?
Hardemeyer: Uh, they're not available.
The Mayor: What do you mean they're not available?
Hardemeyer: Well, I had them committed to the psychiatric ward at Parkview Hospital.
The Mayor: You what?
Hardemeyer: They were threatening to go to the press! I was protecting your interests!
The Mayor: Oh yeah?
Hardemeyer: Uh-huh!
The Mayor: Well, you can stop protecting my interests. You have exactly three minutes to clear out. You're fired!
Hardemeyer: But the election! You're making a big mistake, Mr. Mayor!
The Mayor: Harry! Remove this man from the building and get me the Ghostbusters!
Judge Wexler: [in the middle of persecuting the Ghostbusters he was attacked by the ghosts of 2 murderers he sentenced to the chair] You got to do something! Help me!
Ray: Don't talk to me; talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: And that's me! My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order... that blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us exposing ourselves!
Ray: Don't talk to me; talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: And that's me! My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order... that blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us exposing ourselves!
Ray: [of the insulting birthday party kids] Ungrateful little yuppie larva. After everything we did for this city.
Winston: Yeah, we conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, and ended up getting sued by every city, county, and state agency in New York.
Ray: Yeah... but what a ride.
Winston: Yeah, we conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, and ended up getting sued by every city, county, and state agency in New York.
Ray: Yeah... but what a ride.
[Wexler, Louis, Peter, Ray, and Egon all watch the prosecuting attorney being carried by one of the Scoleri brothers outside the courtroom]
Judge Wexler: [wailing] Ohhh...
Peter Venkman: You're next, bubbles.
Judge Wexler: [screams] ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!
Louis Tully: Hooray, we won the case!
Judge Wexler: Now do something!
Judge Wexler: [wailing] Ohhh...
Peter Venkman: You're next, bubbles.
Judge Wexler: [screams] ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!
Louis Tully: Hooray, we won the case!
Judge Wexler: Now do something!
Judge Wexler: Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler,
[yells]
Judge Wexler: Stand up! Get up!
[the Ghostbusters stand up]
Judge Wexler: You too, Mr. Tully.
[Louis stands up]
Judge Wexler: [furious] I find guilty on all charges. I order to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each...
[the mood slime burbles; Ray notices it]
Judge Wexler: ... and I sentence you to 18 months in the City Correctional Facility at Riker's Island.
Ray: Egie, she's twiching.
Judge Wexler: [yells] I'M NOT FINISHED!
[slime continues to boil]
Judge Wexler: On a more presonal note, let me just go on record as saying that there's no place for fakes, charlatans...
Egon: Uh, your honor?
Judge Wexler: [cuts Egon off] Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
Peter Venkman: Your honor, this is important.
Judge Wexler: You play on the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray: Yes, sir...
Judge Wexler: Be quiet!
Ray: But...
[poits to the bubbling mood slime as it spills over]
Judge Wexler: [yelling] If my hands weren't tied by the alterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice
[screaming at the top of his lungs]
Judge Wexler: and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
[the ghosts of the Scoleri brothers bursts from the slime; the jury members, many vistors and the prosecutor are all frightened]
Ray: [amazed] Wow!
Judge Wexler: [shocked and frightened] Oh, my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
[Wexler leaps from his bench as the ghosts attempt to attack him. He then crawls to Louis and the now-prosecuted Ghostbusters]
Judge Wexler: [yells] The Scoleri Brothers!
Ray: Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler: I've tried them for murder! Gave them the chair!
[yells]
Judge Wexler: Stand up! Get up!
[the Ghostbusters stand up]
Judge Wexler: You too, Mr. Tully.
[Louis stands up]
Judge Wexler: [furious] I find guilty on all charges. I order to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each...
[the mood slime burbles; Ray notices it]
Judge Wexler: ... and I sentence you to 18 months in the City Correctional Facility at Riker's Island.
Ray: Egie, she's twiching.
Judge Wexler: [yells] I'M NOT FINISHED!
[slime continues to boil]
Judge Wexler: On a more presonal note, let me just go on record as saying that there's no place for fakes, charlatans...
Egon: Uh, your honor?
Judge Wexler: [cuts Egon off] Shut up! Or tricksters like you in desent society!
Peter Venkman: Your honor, this is important.
Judge Wexler: You play on the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray: Yes, sir...
Judge Wexler: Be quiet!
Ray: But...
[poits to the bubbling mood slime as it spills over]
Judge Wexler: [yelling] If my hands weren't tied by the alterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice
[screaming at the top of his lungs]
Judge Wexler: and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
[the ghosts of the Scoleri brothers bursts from the slime; the jury members, many vistors and the prosecutor are all frightened]
Ray: [amazed] Wow!
Judge Wexler: [shocked and frightened] Oh, my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
[Wexler leaps from his bench as the ghosts attempt to attack him. He then crawls to Louis and the now-prosecuted Ghostbusters]
Judge Wexler: [yells] The Scoleri Brothers!
Ray: Friends of yours?
Judge Wexler: I've tried them for murder! Gave them the chair!
[Ray has stepped in front of the painting of Vigo, blocking the Ghostbusters' attack]
Egon: Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
Peter Venkman: Ray...
Winston: Ray?
Egon, Peter Venkman, Winston: RAY!
[Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo]
Ray: [demonic voice] NO! I, Ray, am Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
Peter Venkman: Now!
[they attack]
Egon: Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
Peter Venkman: Ray...
Winston: Ray?
Egon, Peter Venkman, Winston: RAY!
[Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo]
Ray: [demonic voice] NO! I, Ray, am Vigo, shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful half-men!
Peter Venkman: Now!
[they attack]
Peter Venkman: [as the Mayor walks in]
[Raising his voice over the rest of the 'Busters]
Peter Venkman: Lenny. Big man.
The Mayor: The Ghostbusters.
Winston: Mr. Mayor?
[Holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
The Mayor: What is this? A slumber party?
Ray: Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
The Mayor: Listen, *I* don't want to hear anything about it. You got 2 minutes. Make it good.
Ray: [Getting started] Well, first of all Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that 50% of us voted for you in the last election.
The Mayor: I appreciate that.
Peter Venkman: I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray: Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor: Psycho-what?
Egon: Psychomagnatheric.
Peter Venkman: Big word, big word.
Egon: Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
The Mayor: Can somebody speak english here?
Winston: Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Hardemeyer: [to the Mayor]
[Aggrivated]
Hardemeyer: This is insane! Do we *really* have to listen to this?
Peter Venkman: [to Hardemeyer] Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes?
[to the Mayor]
Peter Venkman: Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Please?
Peter Venkman: I beg your prdon, 3 million and *one*.
Hardemeyer: Hey.
Ray: And what *fuggy brain* here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Yeah right.
The Mayor: What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be *nice* to each other?
[Begins to walk off]
The Mayor: Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your 2 minutes are up, good night gentlemen.
[Raising his voice over the rest of the 'Busters]
Peter Venkman: Lenny. Big man.
The Mayor: The Ghostbusters.
Winston: Mr. Mayor?
[Holds out his hand, wanting to shake his hand]
The Mayor: What is this? A slumber party?
Ray: Well, that's why we wanted to see you.
The Mayor: Listen, *I* don't want to hear anything about it. You got 2 minutes. Make it good.
Ray: [Getting started] Well, first of all Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and you'll be happy to know that 50% of us voted for you in the last election.
The Mayor: I appreciate that.
Peter Venkman: I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray: Mr. Mayor, we're here tonight because a psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city.
The Mayor: Psycho-what?
Egon: Psychomagnatheric.
Peter Venkman: Big word, big word.
Egon: Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with *explosive* supernormal potential.
The Mayor: Can somebody speak english here?
Winston: Uh yeah. Your honor, what we're trying to say is all of the bad feelings. You know hate, anger and the vibes of the city are turning into this *sludge*. I didn't believe in it either. But, we just went for a swim in it and end up almost killing each other.
Hardemeyer: [to the Mayor]
[Aggrivated]
Hardemeyer: This is insane! Do we *really* have to listen to this?
Peter Venkman: [to Hardemeyer] Can't you stop your lips from flapping for 2 little minutes?
[to the Mayor]
Peter Venkman: Lenny, have you been out on the street lately, do you know weird it is out there? We've taken our own headcount, there seems to be 3 *million* completely miserable assholes living in the Tri-State area.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Please?
Peter Venkman: I beg your prdon, 3 million and *one*.
Hardemeyer: Hey.
Ray: And what *fuggy brain* here doesn't realize, that if we don't do something fast this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer: [In disbelief] Yeah right.
The Mayor: What do you want me to do, go on television and tell 3 million people they have to be *nice* to each other?
[Begins to walk off]
The Mayor: Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's god-given right. Your 2 minutes are up, good night gentlemen.
[piloting the Statue of Liberty]
Egon: We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray: I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon: I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman: Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
Egon: We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray: I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon: I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter Venkman: Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
Judge Wexler: [Running from the Scolari Bros. and pounding on the door, then grabs ray by his suit jacket] You gotta do something, help me!
Ray: Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: That's me. My guys are still under a judicial restraining order. That blue thing I got from her, they can be exposing themselves.
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us, exposing ourselves.
Ray: Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney.
Louis Tully: That's me. My guys are still under a judicial restraining order. That blue thing I got from her, they can be exposing themselves.
Peter Venkman: And you don't want us, exposing ourselves.
Dana: You know, I think we got more food on your shirt than we did in your mouth. Bath... yes, bath. It's your favorite thing. Bath. It's your favorite thing! It's your favorite thing! Because I know what you get to do. You know what you get to do? You know what's more fun than anything? Huh? Splash Mommy. "I get to splash Mommy!" Yes! Now to get ready for this, Mommy's going to take her shirt off too...
[Takes off shirt, picks Oscar up. Turns around. The mass of pink slime reaches for Oscar and attacks; Dana screams and runs]
[Takes off shirt, picks Oscar up. Turns around. The mass of pink slime reaches for Oscar and attacks; Dana screams and runs]
[the Ghostbusters have been committed to a mental hospital]
Ray: As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Psychiatrist: Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon: You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Psychiatrist: Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston: It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
[motions to Peter]
Winston: And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Psychiatrist: A bathtub?
Peter Venkman: [with his head buried in his arms in despair] Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.
Ray: As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Psychiatrist: Uh-huh, and are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon: You're wasting valuable time. He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Psychiatrist: Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston: It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
[motions to Peter]
Winston: And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Psychiatrist: A bathtub?
Peter Venkman: [with his head buried in his arms in despair] Don't look at me. I think these people are completely nuts.
Egon: [Looking at Pictures of Vigo that Peter took earlier] You're right, Ray. Multiplatform anomination.
Ray: [getting another picture] Yeah, well here is the next months' front cover of GQ, check out the aura on this sucker. Now there is definitely a living presence there.
Egon: We should get a deeper look.
Ray: I 'll run this one through the Spectrogram
[Puts a picture into the spectrogram, now talks about dinner]
Ray: So, what do you think, Chinese?
Egon: Uh, how about Thai?
Ray: Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon: Uh, Mexican?
Ray: Pizza?
Egon: Thin or thick?
Ray: Chicago.
Egon: [Takes out a picture of Vigo] What the hell is that?
[picks up his giant maginfying glass]
Ray: I know what it is.
[Unbeknownst to Ray and Egon, the door is suddenly locked]
Ray: I've seen this before.
Egon: Where?
Ray: Remember when you had me dangling like a worm on a hook 100 feet below 1st Avenue?
[Shows the slime on the picture]
Ray: That's the river of slime.
Ray: [getting another picture] Yeah, well here is the next months' front cover of GQ, check out the aura on this sucker. Now there is definitely a living presence there.
Egon: We should get a deeper look.
Ray: I 'll run this one through the Spectrogram
[Puts a picture into the spectrogram, now talks about dinner]
Ray: So, what do you think, Chinese?
Egon: Uh, how about Thai?
Ray: Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon: Uh, Mexican?
Ray: Pizza?
Egon: Thin or thick?
Ray: Chicago.
Egon: [Takes out a picture of Vigo] What the hell is that?
[picks up his giant maginfying glass]
Ray: I know what it is.
[Unbeknownst to Ray and Egon, the door is suddenly locked]
Ray: I've seen this before.
Egon: Where?
Ray: Remember when you had me dangling like a worm on a hook 100 feet below 1st Avenue?
[Shows the slime on the picture]
Ray: That's the river of slime.
Ray: You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's messy, it's crowded, it's polluted, and there are people who would just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's gotta be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out berg. We just gotta find a way to mobilize it!
Con Ed Supervisor Fianella: What's going on here? Hey, what's the story?
Peter Venkman: Hey what? You boneheads are going to come to harass me on again? I got 3 thousand phone lines grounded here, I got about 8 million miles of cable I gotta check, you're gonna come and shake my monkey tree again?
Con Ed Supervisor Fianella: What are you talking about buddy, the phone lines are over there.
Peter Venkman: [Turns to Egon] What did I say to you?
[Begins slapping Egon's hardhat]
Peter Venkman: Those phone lines are over there. What did I say? How many times?
First Cop: Hey, hey. You're not with Con Ed, or the phone company, we've checked. So, tell me another one.
Peter Venkman: [Thinking of another excuse] I got a major gas leak here! What do you think all of this is coming from, the sky?
Peter Venkman: Hey what? You boneheads are going to come to harass me on again? I got 3 thousand phone lines grounded here, I got about 8 million miles of cable I gotta check, you're gonna come and shake my monkey tree again?
Con Ed Supervisor Fianella: What are you talking about buddy, the phone lines are over there.
Peter Venkman: [Turns to Egon] What did I say to you?
[Begins slapping Egon's hardhat]
Peter Venkman: Those phone lines are over there. What did I say? How many times?
First Cop: Hey, hey. You're not with Con Ed, or the phone company, we've checked. So, tell me another one.
Peter Venkman: [Thinking of another excuse] I got a major gas leak here! What do you think all of this is coming from, the sky?
Judge Wexler: [At the Ghostbusters' trial] Before we begin this trial, I want to make one thing very clear: The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts, and I don't believe in them either. So I don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins, spooks, and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case. Leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Winston: Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
Egon: Yeah, they call him "The Hammer."
Ray: What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
Louis Tully: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.
Winston: Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
Egon: Yeah, they call him "The Hammer."
Ray: What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
Louis Tully: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I do mostly tax law and some probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school.
Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.
Egon: [talking about the mood slime after the yelling at it] We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive response.
Peter Venkman: What kind of tests?
Ray: Well; we sing to it, talk to it, and say supportive nuturing things to it.
Peter Venkman: You're not sleeping with it are you Ray?
[Ray doesn't answer, but stares intently at Egon]
Peter Venkman: [noticing Egon, teasingly] You hound.
Winston: It's always the quiet ones.
Egon: [clears throat, and hastily changes the subject] How 'bout the kinetic test?
Peter Venkman: What kind of tests?
Ray: Well; we sing to it, talk to it, and say supportive nuturing things to it.
Peter Venkman: You're not sleeping with it are you Ray?
[Ray doesn't answer, but stares intently at Egon]
Peter Venkman: [noticing Egon, teasingly] You hound.
Winston: It's always the quiet ones.
Egon: [clears throat, and hastily changes the subject] How 'bout the kinetic test?
Janine Melnitz: It is really a very nice place. Needs a woman's touch.
Louis Tully: [closing the door to Oscar's room] Shh. Bed time.
Janine Melnitz: You are so great with kids.
Louis Tully: Oh, thanks, I practiced with my hamster.
Janine Melnitz: [holding what it looks like a crystal ball in her hands] So, you live alone?
Louis Tully: I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.
Janine Melnitz: Why don't you come here and sit with me.
Louis Tully: Okay.
[he moves to the couch Janine is sitting]
Louis Tully: So, you want to play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?
Janine Melnitz: No. I think motherhood is a very natural instinct.
Louis Tully: [closing the door to Oscar's room] Shh. Bed time.
Janine Melnitz: You are so great with kids.
Louis Tully: Oh, thanks, I practiced with my hamster.
Janine Melnitz: [holding what it looks like a crystal ball in her hands] So, you live alone?
Louis Tully: I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.
Janine Melnitz: Why don't you come here and sit with me.
Louis Tully: Okay.
[he moves to the couch Janine is sitting]
Louis Tully: So, you want to play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?
Janine Melnitz: No. I think motherhood is a very natural instinct.
Peter Venkman: [while Vigo is holding Oscar] Not so fast, Vigo. Hey, Vigo, yeah you the bimbo with the baby. Didn't you know the bug shoulder look is out? You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal. Only a Carpathian, will come back to life, now and choose New York. Tasty pick, bonehead. If you had brain 1 and that "huge" melon on top of your neck, you'll be livin' the sweet life, out in southern California's beautiful San Fernando valley.
Ray: [after getting off of the phone with Peter] Spangler. A major slime related pshycho kenetic event.
Egon: What happened?
Ray: Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon: Are they alright?
Ray: Yeah, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon: This is interesting Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
[Goes to his computer and types up Vigo's profile]
Ray: Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection to this Vigo character and the...
[Looks at the slime which is still bubbling]
Ray: slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of colbalt 58.9?
Egon: What happened?
Ray: Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon: Are they alright?
Ray: Yeah, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon: This is interesting Ray. Remember that Vigo character Peter mentioned? Look what came up
[Goes to his computer and types up Vigo's profile]
Ray: Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection to this Vigo character and the...
[Looks at the slime which is still bubbling]
Ray: slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of colbalt 58.9?
Peter Venkman: [walking towards the camera] Of course not, and that is the whole problem with aliens is you just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice once: Star Man, E.T... But usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard! But that's all the time we've got for this week on World of the Psychic. Next week though...
[Crew Member hands Peter a hairless cat]
Peter Venkman: Give me Ira. Hairless pets. Weird.
[hands the cat back to the Crew Member]
Peter Venkman: But until then, this is Peter Venkman saying-
[makes a gesture as if he is sending out a telepathic message]
[Crew Member hands Peter a hairless cat]
Peter Venkman: Give me Ira. Hairless pets. Weird.
[hands the cat back to the Crew Member]
Peter Venkman: But until then, this is Peter Venkman saying-
[makes a gesture as if he is sending out a telepathic message]
Elaine: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.
Peter Venkman: Valentine's day. Bummer. Where'd you get your date, Elaine?
Elaine: I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.
Peter Venkman: So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?
Elaine: It could have been a room on the spaceship made to look like the hotel. I can't be sure about that, Peter.
Peter Venkman: Valentine's day. Bummer. Where'd you get your date, Elaine?
Elaine: I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.
Peter Venkman: So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?
Elaine: It could have been a room on the spaceship made to look like the hotel. I can't be sure about that, Peter.
[at Dana's apartment, Louis and Janine watch on TV the movie "The Lady from Shanghai"]
Janine Melnitz: Is, like, she the killer or what?
Louis Tully: No. That's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane while they were doing this thing. Then right after they finished, she dumped him for some polo player. I don't why beautiful girls love horses so much. Do you love horses?
Janine Melnitz: Is, like, she the killer or what?
Louis Tully: No. That's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane while they were doing this thing. Then right after they finished, she dumped him for some polo player. I don't why beautiful girls love horses so much. Do you love horses?
[Egon and Ray are showing Peter and Winston their breakthrough with a slime specimen]
Egon: Go ahead, Ray!
Ray: [shouting at the slime] You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!
[slime twitches]
Egon: You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!
Ray: You foul obnoxious muck!
[bubbles dangerously with every insult]
Egon: You have a weak electrochemical bond!
[starts to bubble over]
Ray: I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Peter Venkman: This is what you do with your spare time?
Egon: Go ahead, Ray!
Ray: [shouting at the slime] You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant disgusting blob!
[slime twitches]
Egon: You're nothing but an unstable short-chained molecule!
Ray: You foul obnoxious muck!
[bubbles dangerously with every insult]
Egon: You have a weak electrochemical bond!
[starts to bubble over]
Ray: I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
Peter Venkman: This is what you do with your spare time?
Dana: So what do you think?
Peter Venkman: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: [to Oscar] Don't listen.
Peter Venkman: And he stinks! You're ripe, Senor! Did his father stink? Yeah, I bet Daddy was smelly, wasn't he?
Dana: But seriously, there's nothing... unusual about him, is there?
Peter Venkman: Well, I don't have a lot of experience with babies... but you're excited now, because Mama's here to get your stool sample!
Dana: Stool sample?
Peter Venkman: Yeah...
Peter Venkman: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: [to Oscar] Don't listen.
Peter Venkman: And he stinks! You're ripe, Senor! Did his father stink? Yeah, I bet Daddy was smelly, wasn't he?
Dana: But seriously, there's nothing... unusual about him, is there?
Peter Venkman: Well, I don't have a lot of experience with babies... but you're excited now, because Mama's here to get your stool sample!
Dana: Stool sample?
Peter Venkman: Yeah...
Hardemeyer: Look, just put these guys away fast and make sure they go away for a long, long time, okay?
Prosecutor: I don't think it's gonna be hard with this list of charges.
Hardemeyer: Good. Very good.
[to Peter and the Ghostbusters]
Hardemeyer: Violating a judicial restraining order, willful destruction of public property, fraud, malicious mischief...
[chuckles]
Hardemeyer: See you in a couple of years at you first parole hearing.
Peter Venkman: [chuckles] They'll never take us alive.
Judge Wexler: [bangs gavel] All right, all right. Let's get on with it.
Prosecutor: I don't think it's gonna be hard with this list of charges.
Hardemeyer: Good. Very good.
[to Peter and the Ghostbusters]
Hardemeyer: Violating a judicial restraining order, willful destruction of public property, fraud, malicious mischief...
[chuckles]
Hardemeyer: See you in a couple of years at you first parole hearing.
Peter Venkman: [chuckles] They'll never take us alive.
Judge Wexler: [bangs gavel] All right, all right. Let's get on with it.
Louis Tully: So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation. And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them. And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board, which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin', which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purpose of the story, I think it's okay.
