Funny Farm Quotes

When Andy and Elizabeth buy a farm in Vermont, they can't imagine the trouble that awaits them. Andy has quit his job as a sports journalist and is planning to use the peace and quiet of ... See full summary »

Sheriff Ledbetter: Remember, Mrs. Farmer. Whenever you buy a house, whatever's in the ground belongs to you - whether it's gold or oil... or Claude Musselman.

Elizabeth Farmer: I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! YOU know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it!
Andy Farmer: I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in.

Elizabeth Farmer: What's going on, Andy...? You're sinking into a pit of self-pity, defeatism, and alcohol... and you're enjoying it!

Andy Farmer: We came to Redbud filled with hopes and dreams of a better life. And basically, we've seen those hopes and dreams crushed and battered before our very eyes.

Andy Farmer: I want a Goddamn refund!

Andy Farmer: You don't know a thing about writing. You're a Goddamn schoolteacher.

Andy Farmer: [Andy and Elizabeth are showing Redbud to prospective buyers Bud and Betsy after hiring the town to "act normal"] This is going to cost us a fortune!
Elizabeth Farmer: The fifty-dollar bonus was YOUR idea.
Andy Farmer: [smiling] Little slice of heaven, isn't it, Bud?

Crocker: [reacting to Andy's anger about them, the movers, being late] You slept on the floor huh? We slept outside with the bugs and the wild animals. A bridge nearly killed us. Nobody knows where the hell Redbud is. And we haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So stay the hell out of our way and keep your mouth *shut*!

Andy Farmer: Cue the deer.

Andy Farmer: As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.

Andy Farmer: Call me Mr. Lamb Fries!

Andy Farmer: Being a fake is what I do best.

Funny Farm Quotes

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