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James Bond willingly falls into an assassination ploy involving a naive Russian beauty in order to retrieve a Soviet encryption device that was stolen by SPECTRE.
James Bond: Red wine with fish. Well that should have told me something. Donald "Red" Grant: You may know the right wines, but you're the one on your knees. How does it feel old man?
[pointing a gun at Bond] Donald "Red" Grant: The first one won't kill you; not the second, not even the third... not till you crawl over here and you KISS MY FOOT!
Tatiana: I think my mouth is too big. James Bond: I think it's a very lovely mouth. It's just the right size - for me anyway!
James Bond: Pardon me, do you have a match? Kerim's Chauffeur: I use a lighter. James Bond: Better still. Kerim's Chauffeur: Until they go wrong. James Bond: Exactly.
[after James and Kerim bind and gag Benz, the Russian agent, James leaves while Kerim sits down to guard him] Kerim Bey: I've had a particularly fascinating life. Would you like to hear about it? [Benz tries to grunt "no."] Kerim Bey: You would?
[Grant has just explained SPECTRE's plot for Bond] James Bond: That must have been a pretty sick collection of minds to dream up a plan like that. Donald 'Red' Grant: Wish you could see the headlines, "British agent murders beautiful Russian spy, then commits suicide." James Bond: Tell me, which lunatic asylum did they get you out of? Donald 'Red' Grant: [angered] Don't make it tougher on yourself, Mr. Bond! [Grant slaps Bond across the face] Donald 'Red' Grant: My orders are to kill you and deliver the Lektor. How I do it is my business. It'll be slow and painful.
James Bond: There's a saying in England: Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Tatiana: [trying on dresses] I will wear this one in Picadilly. James Bond: You won't. They've just passed some new laws there.
James Bond: [in atypical self-effacement] Suppose when she meets me in the flesh I-I don't come up to expectations? M: Just see that you do.
Ernst Blofeld: Siamese fighting fish, fascinating creatures. Brave but of the whole stupid. Yes they're stupid. Except for the occasional one such as we have here who lets the other two fight. While he waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted that he cannot defend himself, and then like SPECTRE... he strikes! Rosa Klebb: I find the parallel... amusing. Ernst Blofeld: Our organization did not arrange for you to come over from the Russians just for amusement, Number 3.
[on seeing Kerim Bey's office in shambles] James Bond: Well... who won? Kerim Bey: I had visitors. Limpet mine on the wall outside - timed to catch me at my desk. But by good fortune, I was relaxing on the settee for a few moments. The girl left in hysterics. James Bond: Found your technique too violent?
[after shooting down a SPECTRE helicopter] James Bond: I'd say one of their aircraft is missing.
Man in a Punt: Great sport, this! Woman in a Punt: What? Man in a Punt: I said, it's great sport, this punting! [Their punt passes another one beached behind some reeds, where James and Sylvia are making out] James Bond: I couldn't agree with him more. Sylvia Trench: Mmm, I may even give up golf for it.
[refering to the irriating catchphrase Grant keeps repeating] James Bond: "Old man?" Is that what you chaps in SMERSH call each other? Donald "Red" Grant: SMERSH? I'm not with them. James Bond: [after a pause] Of course... SPECTRE. So this wasn't a Russian show at all. You've been playing us off against each other, haven't you? So it was SPECTRE who killed that Bulgar agent in the St. Sophia mosque. Was that you? Donald "Red" Grant: [quitely] Uh-uh. James Bond: Kerim and the other man? Donald "Red" Grant: Uh-uh. James Bond: And Nash? Donald "Red" Grant: Never mind. Oh, it's not that I don't mind talking. I get a kick out of watching you, the great James Bond, find out what a bloody fool he's been making of himself. We're pros, Mr. Bond. We sweated your little "may I borrow a match" recognition code out last month from one of your men in Tokyo before he died. Ever since your arrived in Istanbul, I've been keeping tabs on you. I've even been your guardian angel. Saved your life at the Gypsy camp. [there is a short pause as Bond thinks back and remembers] James Bond: Oh, yes. I'm... much obliged.
[Moneypenny, M, and other officials are listening to Bond's taped interview of Tatiana Romanova] Tatiana: The mechanism is... Oh James, James... Will you make love to me all the time in England? James Bond: Day and night. Go on about the mechanism.
[last lines] Tatiana: [removes ring and hands it to Bond] Here you are. In case you ever need it again. James Bond: Oh, yes. All government property has to be accounted for. But as I said before, we won't always be working on the company's time. Will we? Tatiana: No [Tatiana kisses Bond passionately] Tatiana: James, behave yourself. We are being filmed. James Bond: Oh, not again. [Bond pulls a film reel from his pocket and unwinds it] James Bond: He was right, you know. Tatiana: What is it? James Bond: I'll show you. [Bond kisses Tatiana and throws the film away]
Blofeld: Three men were found dead on the Orient Express train at Trieste. One of them was Grant. What have you got to say about that Number Five? Kronsteen: It was Klebb's choice. Her people failed. Rosa Klebb: It was your plan they followed implicitly. Kronsteen: Impossible. It was perfect. Rosa Klebb: Except for one thing, they were dealing with Bond. Kronsteen: Who is Bond compared with Kronsteen?
Tatiana: Horrible, horrible woman. James Bond: Yes, she had her kicks.
Tatiana: But, there are some English customs that are going to be changed. James Bond: But of course darling.
Kerim's Girl: Keim Bey! Kerim Bey! I no longer please you? Kerim Bey: Be still! Ahh... back to the saltmines!
[after Bond first meets Tatiana, who has crawled naked into his bed] Tatiana: You look surprised. I thought you expected me.
James Bond: Your clock, is it correct? Russian Clerk: Always. James Bond: But of course. [he walks away, checks his watch, then comes back] James Bond: Excuse me, you did say your clock was correct? Russian Clerk: Russian clocks are always... [the hidden tear-gas bomb explodes]
Kerim Bey: Ah, the old game: give a wolf a taste and then leave him hungry. My friend, she's got you dangling.
James Bond: You're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Tatiana: Thank you, but I think my mouth is too big. James Bond: No, it's the right size... for me, that is.
[first lines] Morzeny: [after Grant kills a look-a-like Bond] Exactly one minute, fifty-two seconds. That's excellent.
[in Rose Klebb's Istanbul office] Rosa Klebb: Corporal, I have chosen you for an important assignment. It's purpose is to give false information to the enemy. If you complete it successfully, you will be promoted. [referring to a picture of James Bond] Rosa Klebb: From now on, you will do anything he says. Tatiana: And if I refuse? Rosa Klebb: [icily] Then you will not leave this room alive. Tatiana: I will obey your orders. Rosa Klebb: Good. These are your instructions. You'll report to me here. But the Consulate Security Man must not know that I am in Istanbul. This is classified *far* above his level. Tatiana: I will say nothing to... Rosa Klebb: If you do you will be SHOT! [slams her cane hard against Tatiana's chair] Rosa Klebb: [flirtatiously] Come, come, my dear. [Starts rubbing her shoulders] Rosa Klebb: You are very fortunate to have been chosen for such a simple, delightful duty. A real labour of love, as they say.
Blofeld: [aboard his yacht] Bond is still alive and the Lektor is not yet in our possession. I've negotiated with the Russians for its return; we've agreed on a price. And S.P.E.C.T.R.E. ALWAYS delivers what it promises. Our entire organization survives upon the keeping of those promises... [to Klebb] Blofeld: I warned you: We do NOT tolerate failure, Number Three. You know the penalty. Rosa Klebb: [numbly] Yes, Number One. Blofeld: Our rules are very simple: if you fail... [Morzeny kicks Kronsteen with a poisoned blade; he slowly collapses to the floor] Blofeld: Twelve seconds. One of these days we must invent a faster-working venom. Number Three! Rosa Klebb: Yes, sir? Blofeld: I do not wish to have to tell the Russians that there will be ANOTHER delay. Rosa Klebb: There will be no delay, Number One. There's still time.
[When the two Gypsy girls are brought out to fight, Vavra addresses the tribe in the Romani Gypsy language] Kerim Bey: [translating] The women will fight until one of them is dead or surrenders. The winner will marry the man they both love, the loser will be cast out of the tribe, never to return. If both quit, the elders of the tribe will then decide who will marry the chief's son. [speaking Romani, Vida lets out a long string of curses, glaring venomously at Zora] Kerim Bey: She's saying that... James Bond: Yes, I think I got it without the subtitles.
Rosa Klebb: I hope Kronsteen's efforts as Director of Planning will continue to be as successful as his chess. Kronsteen: They will be.
James Bond: How about a cigarette? Donald 'Red' Grant: Not a chance. James Bond: I'll pay for it. Donald 'Red' Grant: What with? James Bond: Fifty gold sovereigns.
Kerim Bey: All of my key employees are my sons. Blood is the best security in this business.
Rosa Klebb: Training is useful, but there is no substitute for experience. Morzeny: I agree: we use live targets as well.
Donald "Red" Grant: We were keeping you alive until you could get us the Lektor. James Bond: So, you had me deliver it on a silver plate? That's brilliant. Go on, I'm fascinated. Donald "Red" Grant: Now that we've got it, you and the girl are expendable... from here onto Trieste. James Bond: The girl? Isn't she working for SPECTRE too? Donald "Red" Grant: No. She thinks she's doing it all for Mother Russia. She takes her orders from Colonel Klebb. And so do I. James Bond: Rosa Klebb? But Colonel Rosa Klebb is a Russian, head of operations for SMERSH. Donald "Red" Grant: Correction: was. Klebb works for SPECTRE now. The girl doesn't know that. James Bond: But why kill her? Donald "Red" Grant: Orders. That's only half of it, old man. [Grant pulls out a roll of 8mm film and an envelope from his suit pocket] Donald "Red" Grant: Here's a roll of film. She'll have this in her handbag. And on you they'll find this letter. It's from her, threatening to give the film to the press unless you marry her for helping you steal the Lektor. James Bond: [confused] What film? Donald "Red" Grant: [sneers] Taken in the bridal suite at your hotel. Something else the girl didn't know about... or you.
James Bond: How can a friend be in debt?
[Punches Grant, who doesn't flinch, in the gut with brass knuckles] Rosa Klebb: He seems fit enough. Have him report to me in Istanbul in 24 hours.
James Bond: She should have kept her mouth shut.
[after tying up Benz with his own suit] James Bond: I'm not mad about his tailor, are you?
Donald "Red" Grant: Is any of the opposition around? James Bond: Not in any condition to be worried about.
James Bond: I hope you're not... disappointed. Tatiana: I will tell you... in the morning.