Freddy vs. Jason Quotes
Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenage population. Except this time, they're out to get each other, too.
[first lines]
Freddy Krueger: [narrating] My children... from the very beginning, it was the children who gave me my power. The Springwood Slasher, that's what they called me. My reign of terror was legendary. Dozens of children would fall by my blades. Then the parents of Springwood came for me, taking justice into their own hands. When I was alive, I might have been a little naughty, but after they killed me, I became something much, much worse. The stuff nightmares are made of. The children still feared me, and their fear gave me the power to invade their dreams, and that's when the fun REALLY began. Until they figured out a way to forget about me. To erase me completely. Being dead wasn't a problem, but being forgotten, now that's a BITCH. I can't come back if nobody remembers me. I can't come back if nobody's afraid. I had to search the bowels of Hell, but I found someone, someone who'll make 'em remember. He may get the blood, but I'll get the glory, and that fear is my ticket home.
Freddy Krueger: [narrating] My children... from the very beginning, it was the children who gave me my power. The Springwood Slasher, that's what they called me. My reign of terror was legendary. Dozens of children would fall by my blades. Then the parents of Springwood came for me, taking justice into their own hands. When I was alive, I might have been a little naughty, but after they killed me, I became something much, much worse. The stuff nightmares are made of. The children still feared me, and their fear gave me the power to invade their dreams, and that's when the fun REALLY began. Until they figured out a way to forget about me. To erase me completely. Being dead wasn't a problem, but being forgotten, now that's a BITCH. I can't come back if nobody remembers me. I can't come back if nobody's afraid. I had to search the bowels of Hell, but I found someone, someone who'll make 'em remember. He may get the blood, but I'll get the glory, and that fear is my ticket home.
[after seeing Jason at the rave]
Kia Waterson: Was that him? The guy you were talking about... Freddy Krueger?
Lori Campbell: No, that wasn't the guy in my dream. That was somebody else.
Charlie Linderman: Who cares about some fucking dream guy, okay? That psycho in the hockey mask was real.
Bill Freeburg: Dude, that goalie was pissed about something.
Kia Waterson: Was that him? The guy you were talking about... Freddy Krueger?
Lori Campbell: No, that wasn't the guy in my dream. That was somebody else.
Charlie Linderman: Who cares about some fucking dream guy, okay? That psycho in the hockey mask was real.
Bill Freeburg: Dude, that goalie was pissed about something.
Kia Waterson: [to Freddy] So you're the one everyone's afraid of? Tell me something. What kind of faggot runs around in a Christmas sweater? I mean, come on, get real. You're not even scary.
[taunting him]
Kia Waterson: You're not even scary. And let's talk about the butter knives. What is with the butter knives? You trying to compensate for something? Maybe coming up a little short there between the legs, Mr. Krueger?
Freddy Krueger: Hmmm.
Kia Waterson: I mean, you've got these teensy-weensy little things and Jason has got this big old thing and like...
[Freddy points behind her, she turns, and there is Jason standing right in front of her with his machete]
[taunting him]
Kia Waterson: You're not even scary. And let's talk about the butter knives. What is with the butter knives? You trying to compensate for something? Maybe coming up a little short there between the legs, Mr. Krueger?
Freddy Krueger: Hmmm.
Kia Waterson: I mean, you've got these teensy-weensy little things and Jason has got this big old thing and like...
[Freddy points behind her, she turns, and there is Jason standing right in front of her with his machete]
Deputy Scott Stubbs: This Jason Voorhees supposedly drowned at Camp Crystal Lake back in 1957 when he was 11-years old. The counselors weren't watching him. Then they made the mistake of killing his mother. Now legend has it that Jason kept returning from his grave to punish whoever returned to the Camp.
[Bobby Davis appears in a bloody bathtub in Mark's nightmare]
Bobby Davis: Hey, Mark. You didn't forget about me, did you?
Mark Davis: Oh, God.
[Bobby speaks in Freddy Krueger's voice]
Freddy Krueger: Oh, that's right! Everyone forgot! That's why they weren't afraid anymore! That's why I needed Jason to kill for me to get them to remember. But now he just won't stop...
[Bobby shows Mark his slit wrists]
Freddy Krueger: That hockey puck!
Bobby Davis: Hey, Mark. You didn't forget about me, did you?
Mark Davis: Oh, God.
[Bobby speaks in Freddy Krueger's voice]
Freddy Krueger: Oh, that's right! Everyone forgot! That's why they weren't afraid anymore! That's why I needed Jason to kill for me to get them to remember. But now he just won't stop...
[Bobby shows Mark his slit wrists]
Freddy Krueger: That hockey puck!
[Jason approaches two ravers]
Teammate: Check out this fucking guy.
Shack: Well, hey, Jethro. This is a rave, not a Halloween party. Why don't you go find yourself a pig to fuck?
Teammate: Yeah. Invite only, cornpoke,
[Poking Jason's chest on each word]
Teammate: and you... weren't... invite...
[Jason grabs Teammate's head and twists it around. Jason then pokes him in his chest... and he falls over, dead]
Shack: Son of a bitch.
Teammate: Check out this fucking guy.
Shack: Well, hey, Jethro. This is a rave, not a Halloween party. Why don't you go find yourself a pig to fuck?
Teammate: Yeah. Invite only, cornpoke,
[Poking Jason's chest on each word]
Teammate: and you... weren't... invite...
[Jason grabs Teammate's head and twists it around. Jason then pokes him in his chest... and he falls over, dead]
Shack: Son of a bitch.
Kinsey Park: [switches off the television] Sorry, Will. You know the rules.
Will Rollins: Turn that back on. I somebody who lives in that house. Come on, turn it back on, man. I never ask for anything. Just turn on the fucking TV, please.
[Male Nurse lays the tranquilizer kit in front of Will]
Will Rollins: Fuck you, man. What the fuck is your problem?
Mark Davis: [pulls Will away] What are you doing, man? You want 10 cc's of that pink tranquilizer in your ass?
Will Rollins: Turn that back on. I somebody who lives in that house. Come on, turn it back on, man. I never ask for anything. Just turn on the fucking TV, please.
[Male Nurse lays the tranquilizer kit in front of Will]
Will Rollins: Fuck you, man. What the fuck is your problem?
Mark Davis: [pulls Will away] What are you doing, man? You want 10 cc's of that pink tranquilizer in your ass?
[In Jason's dream, after being impaled to a tree with Jason's machete]
Heather: I should've been watching them, not drinking. not meeting a boy at the lake...
[Heather morphs into a dead boy killed by Jason in the past]
Dead boy on tree: I deserve to be punished...
[Dead boy morphs into a dead girl with her throat slit, another past victim of Jason]
Dead girl on tree: We all deserve to be punished...
Heather: I should've been watching them, not drinking. not meeting a boy at the lake...
[Heather morphs into a dead boy killed by Jason in the past]
Dead boy on tree: I deserve to be punished...
[Dead boy morphs into a dead girl with her throat slit, another past victim of Jason]
Dead girl on tree: We all deserve to be punished...
Deputy Scott Stubbs: I think we're dealing with a copycat here.
Charlie Linderman: No. No. No, no, no. He's not a copycat. I've seen what he can do. He's the real Jason.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: That's impossible, Linderman. Jason is dead.
Bill Freeburg: Yeah, well, you better start thinking outside your little box, dude, 'cause somebody's definitely breaking the fucking reality rules, okay?
Charlie Linderman: No. No. No, no, no. He's not a copycat. I've seen what he can do. He's the real Jason.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: That's impossible, Linderman. Jason is dead.
Bill Freeburg: Yeah, well, you better start thinking outside your little box, dude, 'cause somebody's definitely breaking the fucking reality rules, okay?
[Deleted scene]
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] You think that I'm afraid of you? Huh? Now that we're in the real world? Come on!
[Jason swings his machete twice at Freddy and misses]
Freddy Krueger: You're slow, you're stupid, and you got no style.
[Jason swings machete down at Freddy and misses again, the machete gets stuck in the floorboard, Freddy kicks him in the groin]
Freddy Krueger: No balls, huh, Voorhees?
Freddy Krueger: [to Jason] You think that I'm afraid of you? Huh? Now that we're in the real world? Come on!
[Jason swings his machete twice at Freddy and misses]
Freddy Krueger: You're slow, you're stupid, and you got no style.
[Jason swings machete down at Freddy and misses again, the machete gets stuck in the floorboard, Freddy kicks him in the groin]
Freddy Krueger: No balls, huh, Voorhees?
Lori Campbell: Did mom die in a car accident?
Dr. Campbell: Yes, of course she did.
Lori Campbell: Prove it. Show me a death certificate. Show me an off top zero report.
Dr. Campbell: Lori, I don't think now it's the right time...
Lori Campbell: Really, dad? Because I think it's the perfect time! Why don't you tell me about Westin Hills? Do you work there? Because I thought you're a fucking General Practitioner!
Dr. Campbell: Yes. I do some consulting there now, but... it isn't what you think.
Lori Campbell: Oh, my god. So you knew about Will this whole time.
Dr. Campbell: Yes, of course she did.
Lori Campbell: Prove it. Show me a death certificate. Show me an off top zero report.
Dr. Campbell: Lori, I don't think now it's the right time...
Lori Campbell: Really, dad? Because I think it's the perfect time! Why don't you tell me about Westin Hills? Do you work there? Because I thought you're a fucking General Practitioner!
Dr. Campbell: Yes. I do some consulting there now, but... it isn't what you think.
Lori Campbell: Oh, my god. So you knew about Will this whole time.
Lori Campbell: [in Jason's nightmare, while young Jason is drowning in Crystal Lake] Aren't you going to help the kid?
Male Counselor: [having sex with a female counselor] Can't you see that I'm busy here?
Male Counselor: You mean you're not coming?
Freddy Krueger: [the Counselor turns into Freddy Krueger and it is revealed that he is having sex with a dead girl's body] It's not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet.
[he laughs, and waves the dead girl's hand at Lori]
Male Counselor: [having sex with a female counselor] Can't you see that I'm busy here?
Male Counselor: You mean you're not coming?
Freddy Krueger: [the Counselor turns into Freddy Krueger and it is revealed that he is having sex with a dead girl's body] It's not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet.
[he laughs, and waves the dead girl's hand at Lori]
[In Jason's dream]
Mrs. Pamela Voorhees: [to Jason] Jason, my special, special boy. Do you know what your gift is? No matter what they do to you, you cannot die. You can never die. You've just been sleeping, honey. But now, the time has come to wake up. Mommy has something she wants you to do. I need you to go to Elm Street. The children have been very bad on Elm Street. Rise up, Jason. Your work isn't finished. Hear my voice and live again. Make them remember me, Jason. Make them REMEMBER WHAT FEAR TASTES LIKE.
[after Jason leaves, Mrs. Voorhees morphs into Freddy Krueger]
Freddy Krueger: I've been away from my children for far too long.
Mrs. Pamela Voorhees: [to Jason] Jason, my special, special boy. Do you know what your gift is? No matter what they do to you, you cannot die. You can never die. You've just been sleeping, honey. But now, the time has come to wake up. Mommy has something she wants you to do. I need you to go to Elm Street. The children have been very bad on Elm Street. Rise up, Jason. Your work isn't finished. Hear my voice and live again. Make them remember me, Jason. Make them REMEMBER WHAT FEAR TASTES LIKE.
[after Jason leaves, Mrs. Voorhees morphs into Freddy Krueger]
Freddy Krueger: I've been away from my children for far too long.
[tormenting Mark in his nightmares]
Freddy Krueger: [disguised as Mark's brother] I need you to send a little message for me. That's all, just a little message.
Mark Davis: I'm not gonna do it. I won't do it!
[fully transformed back into himself]
Freddy Krueger: No?
[slams the gloved hand on the wall next to Mark's ear]
Mark Davis: I won't do it.
[grabs Mark by his shirt sleeves and points a bladed finger at him]
Freddy Krueger: I'll have to pass that message myself. Won't I, hmm?
Freddy Krueger: [disguised as Mark's brother] I need you to send a little message for me. That's all, just a little message.
Mark Davis: I'm not gonna do it. I won't do it!
[fully transformed back into himself]
Freddy Krueger: No?
[slams the gloved hand on the wall next to Mark's ear]
Mark Davis: I won't do it.
[grabs Mark by his shirt sleeves and points a bladed finger at him]
Freddy Krueger: I'll have to pass that message myself. Won't I, hmm?
Lori Campbell: What is it, Linderman?
Charlie Linderman: Well, I heard what happened, and I just wanna express how - Or tell you how sorry I was.
Lori Campbell: Thank you. That's sweet.
Charlie Linderman: Right. You know, actually if you need anybody to talk to or maybe...
Kia Waterson: Whoa, Linderman, let me give you a tip. Place your hormones back in the box and quit while ahead, okay? We don't have time for date-a-dork right now. Thanks.
[Lori and Kia walk off]
Charlie Linderman: Right. Sorry.
Kia Waterson: I swear, every day is the same thing. He's like one of those fucking froufrou dogs that keeps humping your legs.
Charlie Linderman: Well, I heard what happened, and I just wanna express how - Or tell you how sorry I was.
Lori Campbell: Thank you. That's sweet.
Charlie Linderman: Right. You know, actually if you need anybody to talk to or maybe...
Kia Waterson: Whoa, Linderman, let me give you a tip. Place your hormones back in the box and quit while ahead, okay? We don't have time for date-a-dork right now. Thanks.
[Lori and Kia walk off]
Charlie Linderman: Right. Sorry.
Kia Waterson: I swear, every day is the same thing. He's like one of those fucking froufrou dogs that keeps humping your legs.
Will Rollins: Let's go, we can't help her anymore.
Lori Campbell: No, I'm staying.
Will Rollins: Are you crazy? You got what you wanted, you pulled Freddy out. Now he's fighting Jason. Come on, what more do you want?
Lori Campbell: He killed my mother, Will. It was Freddy. My father covered it up to protect me. He didn't do it.
Will Rollins: Oh, my God.
Lori Campbell: Look, he has taken everything from us. He has ruined both of our pasts. And I am not leaving until I see him die.
[Freddy and Jason begin their fight]
Lori Campbell: No, I'm staying.
Will Rollins: Are you crazy? You got what you wanted, you pulled Freddy out. Now he's fighting Jason. Come on, what more do you want?
Lori Campbell: He killed my mother, Will. It was Freddy. My father covered it up to protect me. He didn't do it.
Will Rollins: Oh, my God.
Lori Campbell: Look, he has taken everything from us. He has ruined both of our pasts. And I am not leaving until I see him die.
[Freddy and Jason begin their fight]
